Pitaza: born July 4, 2016 died July 28, 2018

Today I said goodbye to a dear, dear friend...Not a person, but a business.

Yes I said my business, Pitaza, was my friend. Because it was.
It saved me.
Crazy isn't it? A business that failed also saved my life.
Let me explain.

The next words is a letter that I've written to my dearly departed Pitaza which I pulled the plug on Saturday July 28, 2018.

I was in a dark hole.
I was worried.
I was scared.
I was angry.
I was frustrated.
Some think I was DEPRESSED.
I think I was LONELY.

I was looking for purpose, meaning, and something of significance to do.
I didn't care if I lived. 
I didn't care if I died.

It was at the scariest thing I ever faced.
Then I saw you.
It was in a dream.
I started to plan, and focus on things other than the daily self-wallowing, angry thoughts I was having.
I got excited, with each passing day.
I conceived a new baby by starting my fourth business. I came away with a friend.

It was fun creating again. 

Someone wanted to buy you, and I wouldn't let you go because I had bigger dreams.
In retrospect, I was healing and you were my medicine.

You are the reason I came back. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You gave me new energy, new creativity, new excitement and a new life.

I will miss you old friend and all the customers you brought our way.
It was fun, but it was time to end your life.
I'm sorry.
You saved mine and I ended yours.
But you are a thing, and I believe you did exactly what you were supposed to do.

You can call me crazy, but you can't call me DEPRESSED or LONELY.

Today is a great day, although a sad one. I will miss you Pitaza, and all the people you brought through your doors

With renewed hope,
your father, Rick

Success is heavy. Bend your knees.

Jump on my back, I'll carry you
To the place you want to go
If my knees get lazy or
My back gets crazy
We'll still make it there for sure

There is no time to second guess
The tortoise is closing in on the finish line
We've made mistakes, It's decision time
We will lose this race, if we don't go right now.
This I know for sure

You're on my back, let me lead.
My knees are crying for you to stop telling them where to go.
I know the way, I think, I hope.
I've been here twice before.
The end is not far, the path is not easy.
This I remember once more.

My back is numb. My mind is tired.
Worry tells me we cannot make it.
That is how we lose this race.
I remember this from before.
Pack up your tears, and simple fears.
It is not helping in this war.

If the persistence stops.
We're done for sure.
If the resistance slows to your worry,
It will enrage me with fear.
If my knees cannot make it to the finish line.
We will die here for sure.

There is no time to worry about simple things.
You've made your decision.
I'm not as strong as I pretend to be.
I do that to end your worry.
You see right through it,
With all the holes your words have pierced.

Let's be honest.
I don't know if we'll get there in time.
I don't know if I can carry you all the way.
I do know if we stay here, we cannot win.
I also know if we second guess this last decision, we will not win.
The time to party is over.
The time to work is here.
The tortoise is almost there.
I can see the finish line.
Why can't you see it?
You can see further,
For you are on my back