What is the color of love

Describing love can be easy from a feeling if you've ever been in it.

But how would you describe it from a the other senses: Sight, smell, taste, hearing?

Does it have a colour? The easy answer is red. Valentine's day, hearts, cupids, passion. All is denoted by the colour of red.

Put that pop song cliche shit in the garbage.
I challenge you to describe it using colour, smell and taste.

It sounds weird. But here's my answer to my own challenge:

Love is bright yellow with a shade of grey. So bright and beautiful, but in the wrong conditions can be dark and cloudy. My eyes don't think right. My ears don't see clearly. Love is irrational. It smells like a ripe tomato. So sweet and juicy, but it has to be consumed before it turns rotten, which it always has the danger of doing. Love tastes like a lemon, so juicy and bitter on its own, but always goes well with tequila. Ole! Ariba, ariba!!!

Again, I challenge you to describe love with the usage of colour, smell and taste. You're not allowed to use cliches. Make up your own metaphors. Come up with something original.

It will be hard to do. It will be uncomfortable. It could be fun. If you're scared, just inbox me. I won't judge nor share with anyone. I promise!

You'll thank me in the morning.

Please don't stand me up. My ego is too fragile.

Who has seen the wind.

What does the wind look like?
Does it have a smell?

We know how it feels, tastes and sounds. But what of the other two senses?

It exists. We know that because of its effects. A leaf bouncing around, chaotically swirling in the direction of the air current. We see the dust balls, the papers moving. We hear it as it howls through the branches. It tastes like a slight touch of lavender mixed with a sliver of mint dashed with a pinch of salt.

We don't see it, but it exists. No one questions it.

What does love look like?
Does it have a smell?

We know how it feels, tastes and sounds. But what of the other two?

It exists. We know that because of its effects. A fluttering heart that skips a beat when we experience it. The touch of a two lovers holding hands as they slowly stroll through the park. We hear and say the words, "I love you", so we know the sound of love. The compliments, the playful laugh, the fluttering eyes, the pierced lips.

The effects of love are easy to see, but to see love itself is impossible. But we easily make the association.
Just like the wind.

What does God look like?
Does He have a smell?
How does He feel?
What does He taste like?
What is His voice sound like?

We see effects of God. But we can't see, touch, hear, smell or taste him directly, so it's harder for some of us to understand that He actually exists.

Yet we know there is wind and we believe in the construct of love.

Who has directly seen the wind?
Who has directly seen God?

The signs are all there. It's just a choice we make. Close our eyes and pretend not to see them, or open up and allow it to enter your belief system.

But if you deny that there is a Supreme Being, it's as absurd as denying the existence of the wind.

Motion is the key to momentum

When I was 16, my dad used to lend me his Hyundai Pony. It was a crappy car, as I look back on it, but it was in that car I learned some of early lessons.

As a kid, I would put five dollars worth of gas in the tank and bring the car back home on fumes.

I ran out of gas once in my life and it taught me an important lesson about momentum.

I was on my way home from work, driving my dad's Pony. Without a dime in my pocket, I inched home hoping that the car would happily drive me home one more time. But this day was like no other.

The car quit about a kilometre from my parents' home. I had a choice walk home or push the car home. I didn't think Dad had any gas at the house, so walking home without the car seemed futile. Plus, I was gonna get some bullshit lecture about always running the car on empty.

In my adolescent thinking, I thought the old man would be proud of me that I took the responsibility of tethering his Pony and walking it home. Plus I'm a bit stubborn, so I opened the driver's door, put the transmission in neutral and pushed with one hand on the door while steering with the other hand.

My first attempted step, my sneaker slipped overtop of the asphalt road, not budging the car. "C'mon, it's only a Pony. Surely, I can push this shitbox home", I thought to myself. After a few nudges the car started to move. At first it was only a few inches, but it was moving. We were on a straight away. It wasn't regular walking. It was more like taking baby steps while making sure the equine beast didn't wander into the bushes on either side of the road.

We were moving. As time went by, the pushing got easier to the rate that I was almost walking normally. I could've given up. It made more sense to just walk home. But I wasn't going to leave my dad's car on the side of the road. My big concern as I tiptoed home was a small hill I had to climb just before dad's house. It wasn't really a hill. It was more of a slight incline. If the momentum that I was building up didn't continue and maybe increase, I might not make it over the hill.

I was about to start the ascent when my dad's smart ass alcoholic friend stopped and told me that cars don't work very well without fuel. I thought he was going to help me get over the hill, so I stopped. Instead, he sped off after he got a laugh at my expense.

Having lost all of my momentum, I had worked so hard for, the car stopped moving. I couldn't get it going again. Motion is what I needed. Motion would've easily carried me over the incline and coasted me and the vehicle safely to dad's stable.

But I lost it, and I had to go home in shame, without my dad's mechanical steed.

Life lesson:
Anything you want in life requires motion. With enough movement, you will inch little by little toward your goal. But you can't stop. It'll be extremely hard in the beginning. But it gets easier. Consistency is the key. Keep the motion going and if you do it long enough and in the right direction, there will be enough momentum to carry you over that improbable hill so you can coast a bit down the other side. Don't coast too long once over the apex because momentum disappears as motion declines.

Stop bribing me

I was pumping gas this morning wondering why I chose this particular gas station.

Some offer points to convince their followers to buy gas there. Some offer free coffee. Some give a discount on certain days of the week. 

Gas is a commodity. There is no difference between the gas at one retailer to the gas at another. 

Why did I buy gas here this morning? This retailer reduces the price of gas if you pay cash or debit. The cost to a retailer when a customer uses a credit card represents 2-3%. So when a customer doesn't use the credit card, most retailers pocket that difference into profit. This retailer passes the savings onto the customers, everyday.

In looking across the busy intersection, another gas retailer with a points program was trying to bribe customers into their station. If I purchase a minimum of 25 litres with the retailer sponsored MasterCard, on Tuesdays from 7-9, I get an extra 2 cents off per litre.

I wonder who's the genius that comes up with these promotions. Consumers don't like conditions. And the more conditions that is placed on a purchase, the less we respond to the offer.

The worst part was the net benefit of the gas across the street was still higher than my pumped gas.

The retailer across the street didn't have any cars gassing up this morning. There were 7 cars at my chosen gas station, and more were constantly pulling in and out.

We see bribes all the time but usually in the form of discounts. Buy this before Friday and get this amount off the ticket price. What's the discount telling consumers? It tells us that the real value is the discounted price.

Discounts work. And they work well. But over time, people become aware that the product is only worth the discounted price and they stop seeing value in a discount. 

Over time discounts become less and less effective, until they almost stop working completely. 

In watching Adam Sandler's movie, "Don't Mess with the Zohan", there is a seen where one of the characters works in a discount electronics store called "Going out of Business". He tells Adam Sandler's character that business is good despite the sign. 

Bribes work, but on one condition.

Read that line again.

Bribes work on one condition. Not on multiple ones.

Discounting a product makes it a commodity. Be very careful on the type of bribes you use. Unless you live in the land of movies, it could kill your business.

Are you programmed to give the same answer

I messed up a young girl this morning at a restaurant.

Having worked in restaurants for over 8 years of my life, I am preconditioned to ask people how they are as soon as I see them. When someone comes into a restaurant, that is the greeter's job.

This morning, the young greeter came to me and I asked her how she was doing before she had a chance to say anything. She stumbled on her words. She stuttered. It took three obvious seconds before she could rethink her words.

It was three seconds of awkward silence. It felt like a minute.

I don't fault her. She's trying to do her job. She would rather be somewhere else.

This simple exchange made me think about some of the programmed answers and things I say.

How do you answer the phone?

How do you answer the door?

What about your emails? Do you always close with the same signoff?

I catch myself all the time going into the set of words that may not have any meaning with the current conversation. I've programmed my brain to say them.

I once told a stranger that I loved them. The conversation ended exactly like one I would have with my wife and the words just exploded off the tongue. Talk about awkward...

My mouth tries to work faster than my brain. It's like my mouth hasn't received the orders from the brain on what to say, so it says what it thinks it should say. Some call this not having a filter.

It's not a filter. It's more like my mouth has a mind of its own. Maybe that's where "speaking one's mind" comes from. The brain is like the leader of the nation, and the mouth is the general of the army. The general wants to secretly run the nation so he goes behind the leader's back and does what he thinks is in the best interest of himself.  It's a coup d'etat.

The mouth might just be the gateway to the ego.

I think of all the times my mouth has gotten me in trouble. If I could've just bit my tongue...

And then I think of all the times my mouth says stuff without accepting the appropriate orders from the brain. My mouth goes off, in the wilderness, rambling away, trying to find a coherent thought while the brain processes all of the information, until a message is sent through the synapses and the mouth says something of value.

Am I the only one who has this problem?

Are we good?

Perfect, excellent, awesome, amazing, exceptional...
Good, ok, fine, alright...
Terrible, bad, pathetic, horrible...

The last set of words means there is dramatic room for improvement. Finding out we're a bad father, a horrible son, or a terrible employee upsets us. No one strives for badness, so we look for ways to get better.

The second set of words has become an acceptable achievement. There is still room for lots of improvement, yet there is a sense that once we get good at something, we don't have to get better. Let's break out what good really means.

The opposite of good is not bad.
Good is the enemy of great.

Most people use unrisky words when describing a person or a service. Good is an easy answer. Good is non commital. Good is safe. Striving for good is like saying all we want is for people to say we're "Not Bad".

Good tells us nothing. Good doesn't drive results. Good doesn't create memories. Good is just ok. In a world where ok is mediocre, we're setting the bar pretty low if we're striving for ok-ness.

Do you want to be remembered for being an ok person or a great person?
Do you want to be thought of as an ok mom or a great mom?
Do you want to be an ok employee or a great employee?

OK isn't memorable. Good isn't remarkable. Fine isn't shareable.

If you want to make considerable more money, you have to give considerably more effort. You need to do much more than fine.

If you want a promotion, your work needs to be remarkable. You'll have to do the opposite of good.

If you want everyone talking about you, your business, or your life, you'll have to do the opposite of ok.

Strive for perfection, excellence, awesomeness, amazement, exceptionalism and greatness.

It's the only way you will get noticed. It's the only way, you will get what you want. It's the only way you win at your life.

What's the definition of greatness? You decide. But you owe it to yourself, your family, your community and your coworkers to aim for it.

Greatness is in all of us. We just have to tap into it. We have to stop settling for good.  Good isn't good enough. Once you've achieved goodness in any task, ask yourself what you can do to make your effort even better.

Strive for greatness. The world craves it and will reward you accordingly.

Relationships are like dishes

If I asked you to list in order the most important people in your life, who would you put first? Second? or so on?

It wouldn't be easy. You would have to choose between your spouse and your children, or your son and your daughter. How could you choose that? It wouldn't be fair.

If you were asked to categorize your list, it would be much easier.

There are three basic categories of relationships.

1. People we know but aren't part of our everyday lives.
2. People we care about who affect our daily lives.
3. People we love and would do anything to keep them happy.

The first kind might be old school friends, past co-workers or a person we met at a social gathering. These people are acquaintances. There may be a mutual past between the two of you. But there's no present. Despite Facebook, you don't really know what's going on in their lives and they don't know what's going on in yours.  These relationships are like disposable plates. The kind you like to use at the family barbecue. You want them to be clean, but you're going to throw them away when the barbecue is done and you won't think about them again until the next time you use them.

The second kind are friends, extended family and co-workers. We care about these people more than the first group. We see them more often. We feel sad when they are sad. We are happy for them when they succeed at something. We might miss these people if they were no longer in our lives. These relationships are more like the regular dishes that we use from day to day. We don't want them to break. We don't want to throw them away. We like them the way they are. But if one disappears, we get over it quickly because we have others just like it.

The third kind of relationships are the people we love: parents, children, spouse, grandchildren, grandparents, a really good friend, a sister, brother, aunt or uncle.

These people are cherished. Life wouldn't be the same without them. These people could never be replaced. These relationships are like fine china. If one breaks, it would devastate us. We treat them extra special.

In examining your own relationships, are you treating the most important people in your lives like fine china or like paper plates?