In my first year of working in marketing, someone compared marketing activities to planting a garden. To get the fruits and vegetables, we had to plant the seed, nurture the soil, remove the weeds, add sunlight and water. It takes time but marketing will produce results just like potatoes will grow in the right conditions.
Can creative ideas work with the same analogy?
Ideas are thought impulses that we connect to a perceived need in the marketplace. Ideas can be simple. Ideas are not easy for some of us. It comes down to creativity.
We all have creativity in our DNA. Creativity is like a muscle. If we don't use it, we goes into hibernation like a grizzly bear. There was a point in our lives in which we all thought we were creative.
Something happens around grade school that robs many of our ability to tap into our right brain. I blame the educational system. Spelling, mathematics, and language rides shotgun in our car, while art, music and theatre get stashed in the trunk, often forgotten it exists.
If you consider yourself one of those non-creative types, try planting some seeds. Take up a musical instrument. Play for fun by hopelessly pounding away or take a few lessons. Practice daily. Compose your own score, with your own words. Does it matter if it's any good? Good is a comparative construct. It's your piece of art. It's your contribution to the world. It is as original as you.
If music isn't your thing, trying painting, sketching, or illustrating. It's your choice if you want to take a course. It doesn't matter if you anyone thinks it's good. Good compared to what - Picasso? It's good because you are nurturing your soil. Keep going. Practice daily. You'll find techniques that will inspire you. You'll try things that won't work. But you'll learn.
Maybe you always enjoyed literature. Start writing about simple things that you observe. Maybe it's the interaction between a mother and a child, or maybe it's the sway of trees in the winter wind. Don't worry about detractors. Haters hate us, 'cause they ain't us. Keep going as you remove the weeds. The things that don't work, in your mind, you'll stop doing. The techniques that do work, you'll continue.
Feed your creativity. Add sunlight and water. You'll see growth. You'll see the world in a way you never saw it before. Do it daily.
Jerry Seinfeld attributes his comedic success to writing jokes every single day. Some were good. Some were terrible. It was the act of committing to the process of writing everyday that made him the highest paid comedian on the planet.
Potatoes don't grow in the shade. And neither can your ideas. Share them. Don't worry about the opinions of others. You have genius inside of you.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Relativity
Imagine this scenario. A professional baseball pitcher and catcher are playing catch on a flatbed traincar going 100 miles per hour. The pitcher throws a baseball 100 miles per hour toward the back of the train. How fast is the ball moving?
That depends on where the ball is being observed Albert Einstein would explain in his theory of relativity.
If you were on the traincar, the ball would be moving at 100 miles per hour. If you were on the ground observing the game of catch from a distance, the ball would not be moving at all.
How could a ball not be moving when it is being thrown? The answer is the same for people standing on a planet. Earth is spinning at thousands of miles per hour but we don't feel it. Again, it's all relative.
Now imagine an entrepreneur working incessantly building a business that satisfies all his dreams and desires. If you are working on your own business, on the same path (train), you won't see a relative change in the person because you're moving about the same speed in the same direction.
Ideas and strategies in business are like fastballs.
If you're not on the train, watching the entrepreneur's activity from a distance, it may sometimes look like the business isn't moving forward. And other times, it will look like the business is moving forward quickly.
If you're stuck in your business it could be because you got off the train at some point. Learn from those who are on the train. Get back on and practice throwing your fastballs. Moving in the wrong direction on a speeding train will look like you're not moving from the onlookers. Onlookers call those fastballs moving in the wrong direction mistakes. On the train, they are called learning experiences. They're not going anywhere relative to the ground. Keep throwing your fastballs. Eventually you'll learn to throw them in the right direction. As you get better at them, even if you can't throw them as fast as the great entrepreneurs on your train, you will still throw them exponentially faster than someone with both feet stuck in the mud.
Stay on the train. Don't give up. Throw your fastballs. You'll figure out what works and what doesn't. Success is relative to where you are.
That depends on where the ball is being observed Albert Einstein would explain in his theory of relativity.
If you were on the traincar, the ball would be moving at 100 miles per hour. If you were on the ground observing the game of catch from a distance, the ball would not be moving at all.
How could a ball not be moving when it is being thrown? The answer is the same for people standing on a planet. Earth is spinning at thousands of miles per hour but we don't feel it. Again, it's all relative.
Now imagine an entrepreneur working incessantly building a business that satisfies all his dreams and desires. If you are working on your own business, on the same path (train), you won't see a relative change in the person because you're moving about the same speed in the same direction.
Ideas and strategies in business are like fastballs.
If you're not on the train, watching the entrepreneur's activity from a distance, it may sometimes look like the business isn't moving forward. And other times, it will look like the business is moving forward quickly.
If you're stuck in your business it could be because you got off the train at some point. Learn from those who are on the train. Get back on and practice throwing your fastballs. Moving in the wrong direction on a speeding train will look like you're not moving from the onlookers. Onlookers call those fastballs moving in the wrong direction mistakes. On the train, they are called learning experiences. They're not going anywhere relative to the ground. Keep throwing your fastballs. Eventually you'll learn to throw them in the right direction. As you get better at them, even if you can't throw them as fast as the great entrepreneurs on your train, you will still throw them exponentially faster than someone with both feet stuck in the mud.
Stay on the train. Don't give up. Throw your fastballs. You'll figure out what works and what doesn't. Success is relative to where you are.
Do we love money is the wrong the question.
Sensible, caring people will never admit to loving money. They will rationalize that money is a thing.
Count me as part of that tribe. Love is one those words that gets thrown around like a commodity.
I love my chair.
I love my life.
I love my house.
I love my job.
I love my car.
Can we compare the "love" for inanimate objects with the love we have for other people or animals? Would we risk our own life or reputation to save these inanimate objects? We enjoy those things, but we don't love them. Do we even like them or do we like what they do for us?
A comfortable chair and a house can help us to relax. A car or a house can deliver some egotistical benefit. A loving job makes us feel good about ourselves with the financial benefits we require.
Some of us go to work for money. Some think they love money.
No one in their right mind would ever say they love money. Kevin Leary from Shark Tank pretends to love money. It's a marketing ploy for his television personality to play the villain. And we all like to hate the villain. That's just good TV.
No one loves money. That would be insane. Money does not love you back.
No one goes to work for money. Some may go for a higher cause. They want to make a difference in the world. It's their passion to help. Most will admit, they work so they can pay their bills. They may like their jobs but they mistakenly think they don't work for money. Most people would work for if there wasn't a paycheck or a promise of a paycheck in the foreseeable future.
People don't go to work for money. They go to work for the things money can get them.
What does money get for you?
Chairs, houses, cars, vacations, clothes, food, etc...
Simon Sinek stated in "Start with Why", that people do not act on features and rational benefits. They act on irrational benefits. They act on an emotional need.
Why do people trade one house for a bigger one? Why do people buy a new car every four years? Why do we take vacations every year?
You could argue the various needs of more space, more dependability, or needed rest.
My wife and I sold our perfectly good house four years ago for a bigger house. We "needed" more space. Our children's toys were taking over the house. We wanted to live in the country where we could own a few acres of land so the kids could be free-er outside. We wanted space to breathe between our neighbors' lives. The old house was twice as large as either of us had grown up in. Yet, we believed our own bullshit and made the move.
Here's the reality. We found a ridiculous deal on a huge house that was built by lottery winners. We fed our egos. Our egos wanted us to look like bigshots. Our egos convinced us we deserved it. So we bought it.
We didn't buy the house because it was a good deal, or because it was in the country, or because we needed more space. We bought it because we satisfied a desire. We continue to work to feed those desires.
What are you working for? Look to the irrational benefit and don't listen to your own bullshit.
Count me as part of that tribe. Love is one those words that gets thrown around like a commodity.
I love my chair.
I love my life.
I love my house.
I love my job.
I love my car.
Can we compare the "love" for inanimate objects with the love we have for other people or animals? Would we risk our own life or reputation to save these inanimate objects? We enjoy those things, but we don't love them. Do we even like them or do we like what they do for us?
A comfortable chair and a house can help us to relax. A car or a house can deliver some egotistical benefit. A loving job makes us feel good about ourselves with the financial benefits we require.
Some of us go to work for money. Some think they love money.
No one in their right mind would ever say they love money. Kevin Leary from Shark Tank pretends to love money. It's a marketing ploy for his television personality to play the villain. And we all like to hate the villain. That's just good TV.
No one loves money. That would be insane. Money does not love you back.
No one goes to work for money. Some may go for a higher cause. They want to make a difference in the world. It's their passion to help. Most will admit, they work so they can pay their bills. They may like their jobs but they mistakenly think they don't work for money. Most people would work for if there wasn't a paycheck or a promise of a paycheck in the foreseeable future.
People don't go to work for money. They go to work for the things money can get them.
What does money get for you?
Chairs, houses, cars, vacations, clothes, food, etc...
Simon Sinek stated in "Start with Why", that people do not act on features and rational benefits. They act on irrational benefits. They act on an emotional need.
Why do people trade one house for a bigger one? Why do people buy a new car every four years? Why do we take vacations every year?
You could argue the various needs of more space, more dependability, or needed rest.
My wife and I sold our perfectly good house four years ago for a bigger house. We "needed" more space. Our children's toys were taking over the house. We wanted to live in the country where we could own a few acres of land so the kids could be free-er outside. We wanted space to breathe between our neighbors' lives. The old house was twice as large as either of us had grown up in. Yet, we believed our own bullshit and made the move.
Here's the reality. We found a ridiculous deal on a huge house that was built by lottery winners. We fed our egos. Our egos wanted us to look like bigshots. Our egos convinced us we deserved it. So we bought it.
We didn't buy the house because it was a good deal, or because it was in the country, or because we needed more space. We bought it because we satisfied a desire. We continue to work to feed those desires.
What are you working for? Look to the irrational benefit and don't listen to your own bullshit.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Why does Apple succeed?
When Apple introduced it's iPod technology, it was 22 months late to the digital music revolution. Creative was famous for taking audio from a computer harddrive and outputting it onto desktop speakers. It developed the world's first readily available mp3 player.
Portable music had been available for over 25 years after Sony invented the Walkman and subsequently the Discman. But the major challenge consumers had with both devices was the limit of music selection that could be carried.
Creative's NOMAD changed all that. Now a listener could have as many songs as they wanted on a 5GB portable harddrive.
You've probably never heard of NOMAD. Everyone, including my mother-in-law who believes the definition of technology is having a cordless telephone in her house has heard of iPod. Apple did not have the benefit of "first-in" strategy. Apple wasn't known as a music company. They were a computer company.
What did Apple do different from Creative to overtake a multibillion dollar industry? It was simple. They answered the question consumers had, while Creative answered the questions no one was asking.
In reality Apple products aren't necessarily better than the other options. They are a better at marketing their products. They are better at asking the right questions in order to give the right answer. Apple knows its target audience better. Apple consumers are fanatics. It's Apple or nothing.
Apple is so strong in the mp3 industry, it has elevated itself to genericized trademark status. We no longer use mp3 players. We use an iPod or its successor iPhone.
Creative went wrong as it promoted itself through features and specifications. Creative had 5 GB of harddrive space, it was lightweight, it could be dropped.
No one was asking those questions.
Apple's iPod put a thousand songs in your pocket. It had the other stuff too. But who cared.
The question was how many songs could I put on the device.
And that's the secret to Apple's success. They give consumers what we want.
Appeal to the heart and the mind will follow.
Think about that the next time you have to market yourself or your business. Features and specifications are only used when there is no perceived difference between choices. Find out the real question your prospect has.
Then answer the question like you were Apple.
Portable music had been available for over 25 years after Sony invented the Walkman and subsequently the Discman. But the major challenge consumers had with both devices was the limit of music selection that could be carried.
Creative's NOMAD changed all that. Now a listener could have as many songs as they wanted on a 5GB portable harddrive.
You've probably never heard of NOMAD. Everyone, including my mother-in-law who believes the definition of technology is having a cordless telephone in her house has heard of iPod. Apple did not have the benefit of "first-in" strategy. Apple wasn't known as a music company. They were a computer company.
What did Apple do different from Creative to overtake a multibillion dollar industry? It was simple. They answered the question consumers had, while Creative answered the questions no one was asking.
In reality Apple products aren't necessarily better than the other options. They are a better at marketing their products. They are better at asking the right questions in order to give the right answer. Apple knows its target audience better. Apple consumers are fanatics. It's Apple or nothing.
Apple is so strong in the mp3 industry, it has elevated itself to genericized trademark status. We no longer use mp3 players. We use an iPod or its successor iPhone.
Creative went wrong as it promoted itself through features and specifications. Creative had 5 GB of harddrive space, it was lightweight, it could be dropped.
No one was asking those questions.
Apple's iPod put a thousand songs in your pocket. It had the other stuff too. But who cared.
The question was how many songs could I put on the device.
And that's the secret to Apple's success. They give consumers what we want.
Appeal to the heart and the mind will follow.
Think about that the next time you have to market yourself or your business. Features and specifications are only used when there is no perceived difference between choices. Find out the real question your prospect has.
Then answer the question like you were Apple.
Don't ask me!
Have our inquisitive minds died? There was a time when we wanted to know what the four legged thing that people sat on at the table was called.
We asked our parents tirelessly "What's that"? Mom would say, "A chair". Then we changed our gaze to the cat and asked "What's that". Then we pointed to the TV and again asked the same question. This could go on for hours as we learned the basics in communication.
We were learning and our parents had all of the answers. Somewhere along the way our moldable brains didn't want to be molded anymore. We felt it was more safe to learn on our own than to ask intelligent questions. It was like asking a question revealed a weakness.
I think it's something primal. In our genetic past, if we showed weakness, someone would beat us over the head with a club and feed us to the sabre tooth tigers. Survival of the fittest.
So genetically, we've learned to hide our weaknesses so no one will feed us to the tigers.
Questions are the key to the answers. As I grow older, I've learned that I don't have to know all the answers. No one will beat me over the head with a club. No sabre tooth tigers are lurking in the bushes. I don't have to be the smartest person in the room.
We need to be inquisitive like a child again. It's ok to ask lots of questions. Don't ask because you feel you have to. Ask because you want to.
The 12 year old who thinks he knows everything is a lack of maturity. But we carry that lack of maturity through to our adulthood as we continue to pretend to have all the answers.
Admitting to not knowing all the answers is another step on the maturity ladder.
With age, we stop asking questions, even though they are still there, waiting to jump out of the sheets of our consciousness to scream "Surprise".
Instead of knowing an answer for sure, we make assumptions based on experience, beliefs and what others told us. We act as though there is only one universal answer to each question. We don't ask the question and hence we never learn that universal answers do not exist.
Asking loving, non-judgemental questions will force the ego to sit in the backseat of the car while your heart rides shotgun. As your heart rides up front, your life will only experience love.
When your heart's in the right place, all the answers will appear.
Riches to Rags
James had a major concern. His beloved son, William, was spoiled. He got everything he wanted. Flashy clothes, fancy vacations, beautiful bedroom with private bathroom were just a few of the things that William took for granted being a member of James' family.
James had accumulated so much wealth that William never wanted to work in school. William wasn't a good student. His grades in school were borderline acceptable. James sent William to the school where rich people send their rich kids. It was expensive because William didn't qualify for any of the scholastic scholarships James had received.
William liked to party at school. With his dad's money, William was a rock star on campus. With his nice car, tanned face, and party hearty attitude, he was a favourite with the girls. He was such a bad student that after one year, the school asked him not to come back. James thought that William was sowing wild oats and that eventually he would grow up. James offered him a position in his multi million dollar enterprise. The idea was that James would teach William what had made him a success so that William could carry on the family fortune.
William didn't understand why James was thrifty. Money was always available. It was like magic. Just when William needed more, it would be there.
James wanted to retire. His built his business so it could run itself. William could work in it and benefit from the same trees that James had planted.
Bad news followed. The doctor told James he had three months to live. All his hard work and he was never going to enjoy his free time.
Ninety five days later James was lying horizontal in life's death carriage. He was gone. William had full control of his dad's company. The party animal from school became a party beast. There were no limits on how much money William could spend. He took five vacations per year, with five different women. His dad couldn't tell him to curve his spending. The business needed attention so William hired some high paid employees to take care of it for him. He had no interest in his dad's business. He wanted the lifestyle.
One high paid employee stole $1 million from the company account and fled to Thailand. Crippling the company with a cash problem, William had to buckle down and get back to work. But he didn't know the work. Plus he didn't like to work. Work took away from his lifestyle.
Banks wouldn't invest in his business. So he refinanced his dad's house to keep the business going for the next 3 months. His friends dried up about the same time as the money did.
William was alone. His dad's business was bankrupt. His dad's house was going to be repossessed. He abandoned his dad's house, moved in to his cousin's mobile home, and handed the keys to the business to the bank.
He would run into family and ex party friends at the corner store. They sympathized for him and declared that he was poor.
He answered, "I was always poor, I just didn't know it".
James had accumulated so much wealth that William never wanted to work in school. William wasn't a good student. His grades in school were borderline acceptable. James sent William to the school where rich people send their rich kids. It was expensive because William didn't qualify for any of the scholastic scholarships James had received.
William liked to party at school. With his dad's money, William was a rock star on campus. With his nice car, tanned face, and party hearty attitude, he was a favourite with the girls. He was such a bad student that after one year, the school asked him not to come back. James thought that William was sowing wild oats and that eventually he would grow up. James offered him a position in his multi million dollar enterprise. The idea was that James would teach William what had made him a success so that William could carry on the family fortune.
William didn't understand why James was thrifty. Money was always available. It was like magic. Just when William needed more, it would be there.
James wanted to retire. His built his business so it could run itself. William could work in it and benefit from the same trees that James had planted.
Bad news followed. The doctor told James he had three months to live. All his hard work and he was never going to enjoy his free time.
Ninety five days later James was lying horizontal in life's death carriage. He was gone. William had full control of his dad's company. The party animal from school became a party beast. There were no limits on how much money William could spend. He took five vacations per year, with five different women. His dad couldn't tell him to curve his spending. The business needed attention so William hired some high paid employees to take care of it for him. He had no interest in his dad's business. He wanted the lifestyle.
One high paid employee stole $1 million from the company account and fled to Thailand. Crippling the company with a cash problem, William had to buckle down and get back to work. But he didn't know the work. Plus he didn't like to work. Work took away from his lifestyle.
Banks wouldn't invest in his business. So he refinanced his dad's house to keep the business going for the next 3 months. His friends dried up about the same time as the money did.
William was alone. His dad's business was bankrupt. His dad's house was going to be repossessed. He abandoned his dad's house, moved in to his cousin's mobile home, and handed the keys to the business to the bank.
He would run into family and ex party friends at the corner store. They sympathized for him and declared that he was poor.
He answered, "I was always poor, I just didn't know it".
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Rags to riches
James was a little boy, who was born into a house of poverty. His parents loved him, but couldn't give him the things the material things he desired in his young life. While all of James' friends had new clothes, James had to wear old, out of style, hand-me-downs from his older cousins. He shared a bedroom with his younger sister in a two bedroom house. The house wasn't really a house but it was what James' parents could afford to make sure the children had a roof over their heads.
James wanted to be rich. His parents taught him that money wasn't everything. He knew they were right but he decided that money could definitely help get him out of his poor situation.
James was a good student. He studied people. He listened in class. And he could memorize entire paragraphs in any book. He was such a good student, that wealthy people invited him to study with their children. At his new school, he learned that rich people's definition of hard work was much different than his parent's definition.
His parents worked hard with their bodies. Rich people worked hard with their brains. James' desire for riches continued through his education. Then one day, with his schooling complete, he was forced back into the working world. His parents told him to work hard with his hands. His childhood friends told him to play hard. His rich friends from school no longer had time for him as they went off to work with their rich parents. James felt alone.
But he made a decision. He was not going to give up until he achieved what he wanted. From his rich friends, he had learned that the best way to make money was by using other people's money. That was good news because James didn't have any. He then convinced a couple of bankers that he was capable to run a business of his own. With money in hand, he opened his business.
He had a dream. Nothing was going to get in his way. For the next 10 years, James worked 7 days a week. When his poor friends drank on the weekends, James worked. When his rich friends vacationed in sunny warmer climates, James worked. When family got together to celebrate weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, James worked. When employees took time off and enjoyed their life, James worked. He worked and worked and worked. Some started calling him a workaholic. Some thought he was crazy.
There were days James thought he was crazy. He was doing exactly what his parents told him to do. He was working with his body, not his brain. He had a goal so he continued.
After 10 years, James didn't have much of a lifestyle. His style of life was work. And work is all he did. On his tenth anniversary, he sold his businesses and bought a huge house in the country. He stopped working with his hands and started working with his brilliant brain. From the outside, James was retired. If you knew him, he was knew he had shifted to working with his brain. His poor friends who were drinking every weekend, told him he was lucky coming from such a poor background. His family informed him he was now rich.
James simply answered, "In my mind I was always rich".
James wanted to be rich. His parents taught him that money wasn't everything. He knew they were right but he decided that money could definitely help get him out of his poor situation.
James was a good student. He studied people. He listened in class. And he could memorize entire paragraphs in any book. He was such a good student, that wealthy people invited him to study with their children. At his new school, he learned that rich people's definition of hard work was much different than his parent's definition.
His parents worked hard with their bodies. Rich people worked hard with their brains. James' desire for riches continued through his education. Then one day, with his schooling complete, he was forced back into the working world. His parents told him to work hard with his hands. His childhood friends told him to play hard. His rich friends from school no longer had time for him as they went off to work with their rich parents. James felt alone.
But he made a decision. He was not going to give up until he achieved what he wanted. From his rich friends, he had learned that the best way to make money was by using other people's money. That was good news because James didn't have any. He then convinced a couple of bankers that he was capable to run a business of his own. With money in hand, he opened his business.
He had a dream. Nothing was going to get in his way. For the next 10 years, James worked 7 days a week. When his poor friends drank on the weekends, James worked. When his rich friends vacationed in sunny warmer climates, James worked. When family got together to celebrate weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, James worked. When employees took time off and enjoyed their life, James worked. He worked and worked and worked. Some started calling him a workaholic. Some thought he was crazy.
There were days James thought he was crazy. He was doing exactly what his parents told him to do. He was working with his body, not his brain. He had a goal so he continued.
After 10 years, James didn't have much of a lifestyle. His style of life was work. And work is all he did. On his tenth anniversary, he sold his businesses and bought a huge house in the country. He stopped working with his hands and started working with his brilliant brain. From the outside, James was retired. If you knew him, he was knew he had shifted to working with his brain. His poor friends who were drinking every weekend, told him he was lucky coming from such a poor background. His family informed him he was now rich.
James simply answered, "In my mind I was always rich".
Here's how to be a goal scorer in the game of life.
I've discovered a new method to help people focus on and achieve their goals.
The biggest problems with goals are:
The biggest problems with goals are:
- People don't have any
- People don't have a clear vision of where they want to go.
- No definiteness of purpose
- Lack of commitment causes inaction
- Not SMART goals
It took me four years to figure out how to set clearly defined, actionable goals.
It starts with a clear vision of where you want to go. To get started, write on a piece of paper answers to the following questions.
Why do you think you exist?
What do you currently do that you love?
What do you currently do that you would like to eliminate?
What do you stand for?
What do stand against?
Imagine the world and your life as perfect in five years.
Describe your perfection in detail..
Why is it perfect?
How much are you working?
If so, what's the perfect job?
What are you doing when you're not working?
How much money are you making?
Describe your relationships with your spouse, children, parents and friends in this perfect world?
What needs to be implemented into your life for this "dream" to be realized?
How do you have to change personally?
Annual goals
What can you do this year to move your life toward this vision of perfection?
In what ways do you need to change this year to move towards this vision of perfection?
Now that you've created a vision of your perfect life, you sleep on your answers.
The next morning, without reviewing your answers from the previous day, you brainstorm all the things that signifies a perfect life for you in five years. Fill up the page. Write until you can't think of anything else.
Once you put your brain back into the rhythm of a perfect life, it's time to write out five big goals that you want to achieve this year. The goals have to specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely (SMART). Each time you write a goal, double check that it fits the SMART criteria. If not, restructure the words so that it can be SMART.
Detailing five annual goals, you then will break them out into chewable smaller goals for the first three months. What do you have to achieve in the next 90 days to move toward your annual goal?
The reason most people don't have clear written goals is because they don't know where to be begin. To know where to begin, you have to think with the end in mind. Knowing where you want to go will give you definiteness. Accepting definiteness and not getting distracted is the magic in the attainment of all goals.
I wish you all success.
Small minds talk about people
I think there's a part of human nature to want to talk about someone else.
Let's face it. Talking about someone is easy. Having an opinion about someone's actions is even easier. We have experience with that person. Hence we can share our feelings, opinions, events of our relationship.
People mess up. We don't expect perfection from ourselves yet we expect it from others. We want them to act a certain way and when they don't, we use our tongues like poisonous needles piercing the ears of anyone who will listen to our strife.
To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
Don Miguel Ruiz's book "The Four Agreements" discusses why humans live a hellish life on this planet and what needs to be done to transcend the dream-like state humans are in to enter a life of bliss.
His four agreements are broken down into the following:
Let's face it. Talking about someone is easy. Having an opinion about someone's actions is even easier. We have experience with that person. Hence we can share our feelings, opinions, events of our relationship.
People mess up. We don't expect perfection from ourselves yet we expect it from others. We want them to act a certain way and when they don't, we use our tongues like poisonous needles piercing the ears of anyone who will listen to our strife.
To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
Don Miguel Ruiz's book "The Four Agreements" discusses why humans live a hellish life on this planet and what needs to be done to transcend the dream-like state humans are in to enter a life of bliss.
His four agreements are broken down into the following:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don't take anything personally.
- Don't make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
His first agreement is what is being discussed. It is not only what you say to other people, but also to yourself. Negative self-talk, talking about other people, other's actions, problems keeps us in a state of paralysis.
In finishing the book this weekend, it was easy to pay attention to my discussion with colleagues. It is disgusting how much my peeps and I avoid the first agreement.
I met a new client with similar background as mine. We travelled the same circles, knew the same people but we had never met. It was easy to establish a rapport. Within five minutes, with both of our guards down, he confessed that his business was suffering. He explained what were the reasons for the decline. Then he gossiped for the next 45 minutes and spoke poorly about a number of people in our same industry.
Conversely, I spent 2 days with a group of people last week discussing visions, ideas, goals, and strategy. At the end of the "retreat", each of them had specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely goals.
The time spent with the group was intense. Each of us left the sessions with a fresh outlook on our business lives.
Ruiz says that we have to be conscious of our acts before we can correct them.
Try this exercise for the next week. After every conversation, write down in a notebook any times you were not impeccable with your word. Then detail it out and write what you can do different next time.
You can't fix it if you can't measure it. Measure how often you revert to small thinking. Then work toward reducing it each and every week.
It'll be hard. Anything worth it is always hard.
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