To not lose one's power is well...powerful.
Yoda said in the Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
As one is lead to fear, they give up their power to that which they fear.
In a dark period of my life, I was angry. My friends advised to keep my power. At first, I thought they meant that I was using my energy for negative things. When in fact, I was allowing someone to exert power over me.
To keep my power, I couldn't be scared. But I was scared. How could I not be when someone was threatening me with absolute financial ruin?
Oren Klaff explains in his book, "Pitch Anything", that in any relationship someone controls the power frame and someone doesn't. The use of fear is a tactic . The person who allows fear to control their emotions allows the other party to have power over them.
In one of my business relationships, a colleague exerted his power over me by instilling fear. And I allowed it to happen by being the beta (and he the alpha) of the relationship. As long as I gave him my power, he ruled.
Until the last day of our relationship, when I no longer had fear of any consequences. My businesses were sold and I was riding away, no longer fearful of financial ruin. Twice that day, he tried to exert his power as he had done countless times before only to be met with an indifferent, more powerful foe. Fear, anger, hatred and suffering were no longer part of my landslide of personal detriment.
I was now in charge. And he knew it.
To watch him recoil and return to his hovel was pleasing. I had taken over the power frame. I was now the Alpha while he rolled over and showed his belly.
Funny enough as my fear filled body exploded with anger, I had seen him as much taller than I. The day the weight was lifted off my shoulders, as I stood next to my powerless partner, he looked shorter.
As the Alpha, the world looked much different. Suffering squashed. Fear destroyed. Three inches taller, I once again ruled my life.
Are you afraid of anything? If there's anything I learned from my experience it's this: "Fear will hurt your progress."
As hard as it may seem, you must not be afraid.
With a background in finance and marketing, Rick Nicholson owned two highly successful restaurants before selling them to start a consulting business. His current company The Restaurant Ninjas provides tools to the foodservice industry to become more profitable. His book, "The Art of Restaurant Theft" can be downloaded for free at www.therestaurantninjas.com
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