Trust your feelings

There's a feeling deep inside of me that won't go away.

It hurts. It excites. It cries to come up.

I can't explain it.
I don't know why it's there.

The feeling or urge is a desire to do something great.

I thought it was because I didn't have any biological children. Maybe it was my opportunity to leave a mark on the world.

It's like Obi Wan Kenobi is saying to me, "Rick, trust your feelings".

I've always had this feeling. When I was six years old, I expressed them to my grandma.

At 16, I said similar things to my uncle Danny.

When I was 23, I was in a dead end job, going nowhere. I thought my feelings had lied to me. In my mini depression, I told my future wife I was never going to do anything great. She corrected me and reinforced that I was destined for amazing things.

I fell in love with her that day.

Since then the feelings won't go away. They scream at me sometimes. They pet me even when I sleep.

Is it confidence dancing around and making fun of me?
Is it ego singing "Eye of the Tiger" at top of its lungs?
Is it spirits sharing their secrets with me?
Is it my soul telling me the reason for my birth?
Is it wishful thinking?

Or am I just plain crazy?

I don't think I'm alone.

I read the founder of Nike's (Phil Knight) autobiography, "Shoe Dog".  He had similar feelings. He explained them so well, that I started reading it again.

These feelings are inexplainable.
I feel the most alive when I work with them.
I am dead when I don't.

It's not about money or fame.
It's something else.

Maybe it's "The Force".

Whether it is strong in me or not, it freaks me out sometimes.