Marketing in a crisis

Marketing is fun. You get to say and do things that normally aren't done or said. Good marketing uses an angle that disrupts the audience. Good marketing attracts customers like cell phones to sinks full of water.

But once in a lifetime, the moon turns blue. And something happens, outside of your control, affecting everything you do and say.

A catastrophe puts your entire operation in crisis. You have to close. You won't be able to sell your stuff.

Earth, wind, water, or fire. Something shuts you down for months. You can't do anything until your insurance kicks in.

What do you do?

The time to sell is over. The time to protect has arrived. Protect your market share as much as you can despite not being able to sell anything.

Marketing should not end. It is more important than ever.

The execution changes.

The method changes. But communication must continue.

Everyday is a lost opportunity. Don't let the lost opportunity convert to lost customers.

Customers need product and the twitchy competitor down the street has been rubbing his greasy palms together waiting for your wonderful customers.
Keep your messages rolling.
Remind the customer why they love you.
Over and over again. 

Have you ever been to the airport watching families waiting for their dad to arrive? Everyone is at the airport waiting at the baggage carrousel, with hugs, claps, smiles and the five year old daughter is jumping up and down.

The customer can't buy.
Keep them wanting to.
Keep the dialogue going.
Run your radio campaigns.
Post to social media.
Engage, communicate, share, repeat.

Your customers will miss you if you stay in their head. They'll be jumping up and down waiting for your reopening.

During a crisis, you can count on a few things happening.

1. Employees will get other jobs. If you can get payroll insurance, get it. The strength of your business is the people you've hired. If you don't have payroll insurance, figure out how to pay them or help them find interim employment hoping they return when all is cleared up.

2. Suppliers may sell their exclusive products to that twitchy competitor down the street. This is just business. They want to sell stuff and you're not an option.

3. Customers will buy elsewhere.

A lot of people will say they will be there for you, but few will be.

There will be others who talk a good game, but look for a quick way to get away from you.
Let's call them rats.
Rats are the first to leave the ship.
Remember them. Those who scurry away were never really on your team anyways.

I know that's a hard pill to swallow. The rat is a nice guy most of the time. It's easy to be a good guy when things go well. His true personality emerges when things go wrong. 

That's why I call them rats. They nibble on your business like a block of cheddar for years. Then they run, leaving you to pick up their mess. 

Good times will return.
Set traps to keep future rats.
Hopefully nothing will go awry again.
A few traps never hurt.

A good captain keeps his ship clean.

A good captain navigates his plan.

A good captain stays until the very end, putting everyone else's safety ahead of his own.

The time for having fun and farting around is over. 

You will be a Phoenix or a pile of ashes.

Everything you know about business can be trashed.

What you become after the crisis is determined by what you do early on. 

Be vulnerable. Be real. Be supportive.

And NEVER let them see you sweat.

Marketing is like boiling an egg

If you are an adult, I'm going to assume you know how to cook a hard boiled egg.

Gramma taught me when I was 10. Here were her instructions.
1. Get a pot.
2. Fill it half full with water.
3. Place eggs in water.
4. Turn on heat to Max.
5. Wait until it starts to boil.
6. Time out 8 minutes.
7. Remove heat.
8. Remove shell and serve with butter.

Pretty simple, right.
To get the results of a perfect boiled egg, the recipe must be followed in this order.
These are the inputs: eggs, water, heat, and time

Here's how you get bad results:
Put the eggs in the pot without water.
Boil water but don't put the eggs in.
Don't turn on the heat.
Pull the eggs out too soon.

Boiling an egg is like your advertising campaign.
Eggs are potential customers
Water is message.
Heat is the money.
And time is still just time.

If you want your advertising campaign to work, treat it like boiling an egg.

Use a message that gets noticed by potential customers. Spend money on areas where these potentials are hanging out. And wait until they come out hard-boiled.

Don't stop the heat.

It takes time.

If you stop the heat before the time is up, your advertising will be wasted. You won't get what you're looking for. You will be disappointed by its results.

So the next time you want to run an advertising campaign. Ask yourself three important questions:
1. Do you have enough time for this to work?
2. Do you have the ability to apply enough heat to get your hard boiled egg?
3. Do you have water?

If the answer is "no" to either of these questions, don't waste your money on the campaign, unless you're looking for transactional customers.

Transactional customers don't need any of this.

They only need a great deal.

If you want transactional customers, all you need is heat and water. You don't even need clean water. Any water will do, as long as its the cheapest around.

Winter, wood and wool coats

It's getting colder. Jackets thicken while energy bills rise.

That's winter in Canada. Every year it comes and every year, I dread it. But it comes and I know it.

Dad was recently hospitalized with some respiratory problems. While visiting, he told me he didn't have his wood cut yet. This little setback was going to be a problem. It's his main source of heat for survival.

Come to find out, dad wasn't talking about this winter. He was talking about next winter. He's preparing for 12 months ahead of time.

Not all of us plan that far ahead.

Forget about winter and wood and wool coats.
Have you planned out your next 12 month marketing plan?
Do you know what road you're going to use and what kind of car is going to get you there?

January is still a month away but planning can be done any time. Don't wait until the new year to decide what's next.

Formulate your strategic direction. Understand what can take you there. And in the wise words of Larry the Cable Guy, "Git r done".

Someone asked me this morning, "Given the uncertainty of the economy, is it a good time to be in business".

The best time to be in business was 10 years ago. The second best time is today. Do you want to know when the third best time is going to be?

Get the jacket on. Warm up, snuggle next to the fire. Boil a cup of cocoa. And know where you're driving this business of yours.

It's easy to get wrapped up in the day to day grind.
It's easy to delay planning in exchange for doing.

You know as well as anyone, the easy stuff doesn't get the best results.
Do the hard thing. Steven Covey called it, "Move the big rocks" in his book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People".

Strategy is a big rock.

But here's the bad news.
You can't do the strategy on your own.
You're too close to it.
You're biased.
If you try to do it, it will be watered down, ineffective and a waste of money.

This isn't a sales pitch. I don't need your business.

Just trying to help out a friend in need.

I'll give you my jacket if you really need one and can't afford it.
In my experience, you'd complain about the colour and would toss it away after the first week, if I gave it to you.

A discount retailer hurts no one but himself.

As Black Friday approaches, I was thinking about my Canadian retail friends. Black Friday wasn't even a thing in Canada seven years ago. Canadian Thanksgiving is in October.

The Canadian retailers decided they needed a new reason to throw an event at its shoppers so they followed their American cousins into the Black Friday frenzy.

Just another reason to give a discount to get more sales. It's kinda funny. Canadians don't get a Thursday vacation.

My friend Bruce owns five pizza restaurants. He believes customers only come to him because of his flyers. So he runs a flyer every three weeks. He'd do them every week but he can't afford the shipping costs.

The pizza business is notorious for this type of behaviour. Once upon a time I used to work for a pizza chain. We did the same things to keep franchisees and the top brass happy.

Even 15 years ago my gut didn't feel good about it.

Here's what happened, eventually the marketing effort fizzled out. It chased the transactional customer, who wanted the best price. At that time, we had two people answering phones at a restaurant on a Friday night. Two people to handle all the calls.

Do you know what the number one question was?
Yep, you got it. "What's your special?"

Some customers ordered after hearing the specials while others promised to call back. We have no idea if they did.

Bruce doesn't understand the difference between a transactional customer and a relational one. He's dehydrating in the desert, and he doesn't realize there is a cooler filled with fresh water to his left.

He thinks the easiest path to sales growth is chasing these low margin, fickle customers who only want the best price.

I order six pizzas from Bruce's restaurant every four weeks for a gathering of friends. The first time I ordered, they gave me a $40 discount. I didn't ask for it. Didn't know about it. Didn't need it. But do you think I took it?

Of course. I like money. You wanna give it to me? I'll take it.
The interesting thing is the second time I ordered the same six pizzas, I expected the discount. If it wouldn't have been there, I may have asked for it.

He converted a loyal, relational customer into a transactional one at his own expense.

Bruce knows the restaurant business. But he doesn't understand marketing. He thinks he does so I can't explain it to him. Bruce believes in these short term sales tactics.

I can't change his mind. I've given up trying.

I've seen this re-run before. Hell, I was in it.

I was thinking of Bruce while visiting a Factory Outlet store in San Marcos, just outside of Austin, Texas.

There were Bruce's everywhere. 60% off. Buy one, get one Free. Buy one, get one half price. The parking lots were full and customers were buying stuff. Looked like a good day for business.

There was one store that wasn't promoting discounts. Bruce could never work at this store.

It was the only one that had a line outside. Security had to manage the customers wanting to get a glimpse inside. No discounts. Business looked good here too.

It wasn't pizza. It was her Italian cousin: Gucci.

The pizza industry has converted itself into a commodity. It's like wheat, or salt. The prices continue to drop. A special we used to offer at the pizza chain 15 years ago has only gone up by $3.00. Inflation has gone up by more than that. The only way to make a living selling pizza is to sell a lot of them.

I'm not saying pizza has to be like Gucci. They can play a different pricing strategy and not get wrapped up in the highly competitive pricing wars.

The next time you run a sale to attract a customer, think about your marketing strategy.

This approach is hurting your longterm brand, unless you're moving old inventory or perishable stock. If you got lucky and you bought a couple of shipping containers at a discount and you want to pass savings onto your customers, that's ok too.

Just remember, a discount retailer hurts no one but himself. And if you're not sure, ask Walmart. They closed 269 stores in 2016 and just announced another 22 closures for North America in 2019.


Rick Nicholson is a multi unit business owner and partner at Wizard of Ads. He looks at marketing from the perspective of relationships, corporate beliefs and most importantly its effect on sales. If you want to know how he can help you, you can reach him at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com.

Secret of success, go after your opportunity, and five levels of respect

My eyes lifted from the computer screen to see an old friend walking to the counter to order a coffee. As he sees me, he motions that he'll be right over.

He noticed me, my insecure self whispers.

Of course he noticed you, my confident self affirms.

Nonetheless, my old friend is a professional athlete who is on national television no less than 75 times per year. He moved away many years ago. 

As he comes over to say hi, I didn't know what to say to him. I've watched him rise to be one of the best in his profession. 

I have to tell you that I brag to my son that I know you.

Haha, I'm still the same guy.

Tell me something, what's the secret to your success?

Oh I had a lot of people helping me, coaching me and pushing me to be better.

That's the bullshit answer you give the media. Tell me the real reason.

Opportunity presented itself and I went after it.

Do you ever pinch yourself that you're in a dream? You're out there with some of the greatest household names in your sport.

At first, maybe. But I'm not in awe of anyone out there, not even the superstars.

How do you do it?

It's all mental. We have psychologists we work with to keep our minds sharp. I go out everyday to be the best I can be. I can't worry about anyone else. There's one guy who makes $5 million dollars a year. He's the biggest jerk in the league. He likes to mouth off, looking for a reaction from me.

So what do you do?

I smile and tell him that a guy making that much money should be happier and quieter.

That's funny. Do you love what you are doing?

I do. But it's a job. In the beginning, I had to pinch myself to realize that I had made it. Now, it's about routine, flying and working. Last year, I flew 160 times all over North America. I live in airports and hotels. It's not ideal, but I know I'm really lucky to be where I am.

Any regrets?

I wish I could live here and still do my job. But opportunity is elsewhere and I have to go where it is.

That's great advice. Go where the opportunity is. My son said he wants to be a professional athlete. I've told him that nothing is free. He has to work for it. If he was your son, what would you say to him?
I would tell him to never give up. To work hard, but always understand there are 1500 people who compete daily for the same job that he wants. 10% are superstars with above average skill in the league. The other 90% are all about the same in the skill department. The difference between those who make it and those who don't is between their ears.

Attitude?
More than attitude. Respect.

Respect?
Respect for self, for the team, for the coach, for the league and ultimately for the game. The person who respects the five levels and has comparable skills is the guy who becomes the professional athlete.

That's great advice. Thanks for stopping by.
No problem. I've got a tee time in 15 minutes. I gotta go. See you later.

Hope, eyeballs and scrolling through garbage

I get asked a lot about the effectiveness of advertising and which ones should be used.

The buzz for entrepreneurs seems to be social media.
Boy, it is really powerful.
No doubt about it.

The John Deere 6110R (below) is also powerful but it's not the right tool for mowing your lawn.

The same goes for social media for a lot of businesses. 

Why would you use social media for advertising your business?

Someone will say there are a lot of people there. And they are right.  But what about the message? Doesn't that matter?

And someone will say that eyeballs are eyeballs and the more people who see the ad, the more people who will be engaged.

I disagree. Social media happens fast. It's entertainment. The scrolling effect kills an ad faster than the eyeballs can catch it. 

Ads have to be engaging.

It's no longer good enough to buy eyeballs. We live in an attention economy and the potential customer won't give it to us, unless we're new, exciting or different.

And if you think about it, nothing has really changed. Except where people are spending their time.

Screen times on phones, tablets and computers have skyrocketed, while tv screen time continues to hold its own with one slight change. Streaming services are outpacing cable tv.

I drive by 42 billboards every morning. I'm a marketer so I pay attention more than the average person. And I can't remember one memorable board. It's noise.

And that's what happens with social media. It's noise. Unless it's new, exciting and different.

So please do yourself a favour. If you plan on opening an instagram account for your business, think twice about littering my feed with your garbage. It's disrespectful.

Post a facebook ad, but make it new, exciting or different. 

Adding irrelevant ads on facebook or google is worse than the paid ads on TV.

In fact, it's way worse. Because this time, it's personal. Commercials on tv wasn't your fault. You had no way of knowing who I was. But now you do.

So what media works the best?

All of them work. Some will yield better results than others depending on who you're trying to reach. But most importantly, whether you decide to use the mass media, social media or mobile media, the best way to break through all the noise is to have a compelling message.

The key to unlocking the big giant lock called persuasive advertising, is the message. The media is secondary.

But what's your plan if you do use social media? If you post once per month. You're no one in the digital world.

If you post for engagement, you're wasting your time on keyboard warriors.

If you post creative, persuasive ads that force us to think, then you have a fighting chance.

Someone offered to manage my social media this morning. She gave three examples of other businesses who were doing a great job of engaging and communicating with their audience (her opinion).

A tear came to my eye. If this is the garbage social media "experts" are pawning off to unsuspecting clients, we have a bigger problem with recycling than you think.

Reuse, recycle, repeat...

But then again, maybe this is good news. Too many still don't understand what good marketing is. Too many are wasting their money on ineffective methods that don't return a reasonable return on their marketing investment.

Last week, a participant at my marketing presentation said billboard advertising was dead. Nobody pays attention to them and they a waste of money. The 42 I see everyday would reinforce that perspective. But what if you saw this ad? Maybe billboard ads aren't dead after all, eh?

And the same goes for all media. 

If you want my attention, you have to be worthy enough to break through the noise. 

If you want my money, you have to give me hope.

And hope is all we can really strive for. Hope tomorrow will be better than today. 

Character, statues and a 1000 year promise

Thanks for meeting with me. What can I get you?
I'd like a Grande Emperor's Cloud.

Fancy name... Is it a fancy drink?
Nope. Just a medium Green Tea.

I don't get the name thing here.
You can't get Emperor's Cloud anywhere else. So if you like the branded tea, you can only buy it here. An old boss used to call this telephone branding.

You've lost me. What are you talking about?
Don't worry about it. What can I do for you?

I'm struggling with a new name of my business.
What does this business do?

We're going to make custom furniture.
What's special about this furniture?

Uh, it's custom made for the customer.
I understand. Why would someone care enough to buy from you and not from a big box retailer?

Because I'm better.
We're not getting anywhere. I apologize in advance for my candidness. Please don't take offence with what I'm about to tell you.

I won't.
Promise?

I promise.
Pinky promise?

Haha. Sure. Pinky promise.
No one gives a shit about you or your furniture, except you and the people closest to you. Once you come to the realization that quality has many definitions. And what your customer thinks is quality may not be your definition. So why do you make custom furniture?

I love it.
Why do you love it?

There's something about the smell of wood that gets my juices flowing.
Tell me a story about the first time you smelled sawdust in a shop.

Ouf, I don't know. I remember when I was a kid I used to help my grampy in his shop. I'd spend all day with him sanding, plaining, and setting the boards to make these living room tables.
Did he teach you anything over the time you spent with him in the shop?

Oh my, yes. He used to say the quality of the table depended on two things: the choice of wood and the character of the carpenter.
I've heard chefs say the same thing about food.

Oh it's true. He said if you treated the wood properly, it would show you its soul.
Nice. Do you know what you're selling?

Custom made furniture.
God no. That's the product. Do you know what feeling you're selling?

Peace of mind that the customer has a custom made furniture?
Oh my. No. You're selling nostalgia. You're selling a memory of grandpas and their simplistic view of the world (filled with honour and integrity).

Honour and integrity...those are good words.
No. They're terrible words. Promise me. Never use those words again.

Why?
Because they're cliche. And no one will believe you if you use them. They've heard that bullshit before.

So I sell the memory of my grandpa?
No, you sell the memory of all grandpas, using yours as the example. You got business cards?

Yes.
What's the name of your company?

GLM custom woodworking and construction.
I thought you did custom furniture. Nothing about your name tells me the one thing you do really well.

I do other things as well to pay the bills.
Who gets paid more money, the family practitioner or the surgeon?

The surgeon.
Why?

Because he's specialized.
And he does one thing extremely well, right?

Right.
So which do you want to be?

The surgeon.
Then make sure your customers knows what you do really well. Of course you'll do the other stuff when you have time. I get it, you want to put food on the table.

Exactly. So my name is bad.
Yes.

Why did you ask me about my business cards before the name of my company?
Business cards are one of those simple tools in marketing that most people screw up.

Don't I just put my name, address, email, website, phone number....
Whoa. Stop. When you get a business card from someone, what do you do with it?

If it's relevant, I put in my contact list.
And if it's not?

I throw it out.
And how do you ensure your business card is relevant to the people who get one from you?

I don't know.
Be different.

Like a different size or shape.
Maybe. But what about smell?

Smell? Don't they smell like paper and ink.
Yup. They all do. But what if you could get "Ode de Sawdust" and spritz a little bit on every one you handed out? Just like the smell you remembered in your grampy's shop.

That's really good. I wonder someone makes that.
They do, I just googled it.

Holy crap. I love it.
And then you can spritz a bit on yourself for cologne. Smell is one of our senses that helps reinforce memory. You'd be increasingly different that customers would be more apt to remember you. Hence your business card may have just become relevant...

What about my name?
Let me ask you something else. What is so special about handcrafted furniture versus big box furniture?

The care and attention to detail is the big thing.
Why is that so important?

The more a furniture maker pours his heart into his work, the greater the quality of the piece.
You're talking craftmanship.

Yes. Craftmanship.
So what I've heard from you today is the character of the carpenter and the passion for the word with output a better product.

Yes. That's it. Character plus passion equals Better.
No. Well yes, but you can't say that. It's expected and no one will trust you. Plus any furniture craftsman can say that. You got to go deeper.

Deeper?
Yes, what's deeper than passion and character?

I dunno.
Your grandpa used to say it.

He did.
Yup. You know this. You get it, but you've never thought about this way.

Ok I give up.
Have you ever heard of comfort food?

Oh my god. I get it comfort furniture.
Uh, no. What's another word for comfort food, used primarily in Black communities?

Soul food.
Now you're talking. And how do you translate that to furniture?

Soul furniture?
How about Furniture for the Soul.

My grandpa used to say that?
I know, you've already told me. What's a soul worth?

There's no price.
Right, now the expensive furniture that you want to sell has extreme value. No more price comparing to the big retailers. A customer has a choice to buy the mass produced, cheaply made table a fraction of the price or get a piece that reminds them of their grandpas that changes the energy in their homes. Do you offer a warranty on your furniture?

Yes, I'll offer a limited time warranty for one year.
Is that all a soul is worth? Are you familiar with Tilley hats?

No.
Their warranty has a lifetime warranty.

So what if someone takes advantage of them?
They probably do. But that's the cost of being different. They stand behind their workmanship. Do you stand behind yours?

I suppose I could do a lifetime warranty. It wouldn't be that big of deal to fix something that would go wrong.
Even if the dog chewed off the leg?

To fix the leg wouldn't be that big of a deal. I would fix that for free as part of my warranty.
I knew I liked you. That would be awesome. You can market the shit out of that. But let's not say lifetime warranty. Let's say something more ridiculous. Something that would get attention.

Like what?
Do you stand behind your work?

Yes, absolutely.
Then give a 1000 year warranty on your furniture.

I won't even be alive.
No you won't, but the confidence that your company will be here speaks loudly about your offer. Future generations will write songs about your furniture. Future marketers will pray to your golden statues and your grandpa will be a demi god.

I like the way you think.
Enough coffee. You got a lot of work to do.

We go fishin' when the fish are runnin'

I went bass fishing with my 12 year old son last week.

We sat there on the edge of the ocean, casting our lines anticipating a "bite".

Waiting, and casting.
Talking, and enjoying the crisp ocean breeze.

And I thought of an old colleague.
Morris was Vice President of Marketing of a $50 million business and his favourite saying was, "We go fishin' when the fish are runnin'."

What he meant was we should market heavily when potential customers are most apt to buy. And we should slack off when it's too hard to convince them otherwise.

Morris was smart. I learned a lot from him.

Cast the line when everyone else are casting their lines.
Fish when everyone else is fishing.
Sell when customers are most apt to buy.

I call this noise elevation.

Morris was worried about ROI (return on investment) of the marketing dollars he was spending. His children's bellies depended on him proving his marketing prowess.

I was casting my line and thinking about Morris when I realized that he was wrong.

Marketing is nothing like fishing.
It can be about timing, but that's the lazy route and too competitive.
It's not about ROI. It's about business growth.

And most marketers don't talk about business growth because they think marketing is a department within a business. And there are too many variables they have no control over.

Pareto's Law, or 80-20 rule, loosely states that 80% of outcome will come from 20% of inputs.

Marketing is 80% internal and 20% external.

Marketing internally includes every sales call, collection notice, conversation with a potential hire, potential supplier, internal discussions, weeds on the front lawn, rats in the basement, dirt on the delivery truck, logo on the letterhead, misspelling, attitude, crooked chairs, cracked windows, employee uniforms, etc.

You understand external marketing. But then again, you know the internal marketing too.

The internal marketing should be easy. You're dealing with the human element.

Now we're talking Culture.

Don't spend another dollar on external marketing until you fix your culture problem. Then you won't have to fish when the fish are runnin'. They'll always be runnin'. And when you're ready to cast your line, the fish will jump in your lap.

Sales, smoke screens, and seduction

I'd like to grow my business, but I don't know how to do it. Do you have any suggestions?

Wow, that's a loaded question. But before I answer your question, let me ask one of my own. Are your sales the same as last year, better than last year or worse than last year?

We're about the same as last year. 

And did you do any advertising you really felt worked for you?

Not sure. We spent some money on different things. Some customers came in but it didn't really move the needle longterm.

Are you going to do those things again next year?

We did get some clients. I don't know if it was worth the money, but it did bring in some customers that we hadn't seen before.

And your business is flat.

Yeah.

So despite some of your marketing initiatives, your business is relatively flat. Would you agree that some customers you had last year no longer come to you?

We do a really good job with customer retention.

Sure, but do you agree that some lost customers has nothing to do with you? Let's be objective. Some people die, move away, or have a change in lifestyle.

Ok, when you put it that way, yes.

So despite, you losing some customers, your business is flat, which means new customers have filled that void.

Right, so our marketing is working for us.

Maybe. But answer another question for me. Did you take a price increase on your products due to inflationary demands?

Yes. I have to protect my margins. So each year, we increase prices between 2 and 3 per cent.

Ok. So to be clear, you've raised prices about 2-3%. Some customers are no longer with you. But your sales are about the same as last year. 

Are you saying my sales are down? My accountant doesn't say that.

Sales are flat. But a bigger indication that business is in trouble is customer count. Accountants usually don't track that number. Your average check is a bit higher, giving a smoke screen that your business may have lost market share this year. Which means you're actually losing customers.

That's not good. I want to get customers. So back to my question, how to grow my business?

It starts with the internal first. I've heard you say that you're doing a good job keeping customers. So keep doing that. However, do you remember how you met your wife?

I met her at my first job. We were friends for 2 years before we went on our first date. 

So what attracted you to her?

She was beautiful. She had long curly hair, with an air of confidence.

So physically... But after being friends for two years, did you just go to her and say, "Hey we've known each other for 2 years, we should get married to lower our combined living expenses"?

Are you nuts? No after two years, I fell completely in love with her. She was funny. I watched her take care of her mom. She loved camping, swimming and going to movies. We watched sunsets and interpreted cloud formations.

Then you asked her to marry you?

No. Then we went on our first date.

And how long did you date?

Two more years.

So you knew this woman for 4 years before she married you?

Yes, but I knew I wanted to marry her the first day I met her.

You worked slow. 

I didn't want to scare her off.

Right, so let me explain where I'm going with this. This woman was really important to you. You handled the relationship delicately. There are nine ways we become attracted to another person.

1. Beauty

2. Persistence

3. Make us feel great

4. Dangerous

5. Natural, simple

6. Flirting

7. Charming

8. Charisma, great with words

9. Be a star

You started your attraction to her based on beauty, but complimented the attraction with natural and how she made you feel. 

What's that got to do with my business?

Well, if we talk to your wife, to find out why she married you, I bet she'll have a different reason why she was attracted to you. And once we know those qualities, we can use those same qualities to promote your business.

I'm not looking to getting married again.

Physically, no. But metaphorically, you're looking to find customers who will be seduced by your business. I'm willing to bet your business is just like you. Once you understand what gets customers excited about you, then you go find more customers just like them.

Not all customers will like us.

Exactly. Just like not all women wanted to be with you. But does it matter?

No. I love my wife. She's everything to me. A wonderful mom. A caring wife. A listening ear. She's my best friend.

Now imagine if you could say the same thing about your customers. Do you think, business would grow or stay flat?

Are you saying not all customers are the right customers?

That's exactly what I'm saying. As business owners, we chase the customer because they have the money. But we're using the wrong strategy. We need to communicate who we are so the customer falls in love with us. And when they do, their money follows.

But not all customers will like us, just like not all girls liked me.

Now you get it. You don't need all customers to love you. Your operation couldn't handle it all anyways. 

So what do we need to do to get new customers?

Do you need new customers in the next 9 months to stay in business?

I don't think so. But I do want new customers so we stop this decline you brought up.

I get it. But just like your wife, this is going to take time. The communication is going to take time to seduce the customer. In my experience it takes about 9 months. 

What if I want it faster?

What would've happened if you would've moved extremely fast on that 20 year old girl who became your wife or for any 20 year old girl for that matter?

I may have scared her away or may have attracted the wrong women.

See. It relates exactly the same way to to business.

I get it. So after 9 months. I'll see 3-4% increases in sales?

If you grow 5%, will you be happy? 

Yes.

If you grow 10%, how would you feel?

I'd kiss you. But I don't believe you.

Your wife might get jealous. Let's say this. I'm not promising you 10%. You're a good guy. You have a good business. Your strategy is non existent. With a strategy that effectively communicates and seduces, your business will grow. I would expect that in three years, your business will be much bigger than it is today. You've told me your business is in decline. Any growth would be welcomed. And I think 2-3% increases in sales is a joke. If I only get you 2-3%, you should fire me immediately. 

What are you going to do?

Does that matter? 

Not really.

So if you're ready, let's get to work.

I'm ready. How much is this going to cost me?

You haven't learned yet. I'm not chasing your money. I need to see if we are compatible. I'm going to get you to do some homework before I charge you anything further.

But I want to get started.

Trust me. This is an important step in my process of customer acquisition.

Are you seducing me?

Haha. You're smart. I like you.

Send me the homework. I'll get it to you in the next few days.

Rick Nicholson is a Wizard of Ads partner. You can reach him at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com to discuss development of your marketing strategy.

Discount your relationship when you discount your product.

You're a customer. So you obviously know what it takes to get you to buy.

But do you really?

"Give me a sale, and I'll buy".

Sometimes. What if you don't need the product.

My wife has 15 pair of shoes and she'll buy another pair next week if they're on sale.

Aren't shoes always on special? With that logic, she should be Imelda Marcos.

If you put stuff on sale, customers always show up.

You're right. But is that the customer you want?

A customer is a customer is a customer.

Ok. Imagine you're a shoe retailer.

My wife would be my best customer.

And you have an exclusive line of shoes. No one else can get them anywhere.

Well that's different.

Not at all. But let me finish. You have one exclusive line and then to fill up your store, you have all these other brands that everyone else has. Would you discount your exclusive line?

Only when the new line would come out.

So you'd leave them at full price until the fashion changed.

Yup. But to be competitive, I'd deep discount the other brands to get traffic through my door. Once inside the customer would see the exclusive brand and might pay full price.

That could happen. More likely, here's what will happen. The customer looking for a deal, will come in. If they find the right shoe, in the right style in the right colour and they feel the price is better than elsewhere, including Amazon, they might buy. They may even try on the exclusive, expensive shoe, never with the intention of buying them.

Why would you say that? They are a customer.

There are two types of customers. The ones who love you and the ones who use you. I call them "bottom feeders", always looking for the best price. 

But they are still a customer.

Yes they are. Although extremely less important.

But I'd have traffic.

Sure you would. Now imagine that customer who loves the store decor, the customer service but most importantly that line of exclusive shoes comes in your store the day you have a huge inventory clearout. Your staff is working off their feet, trying to sell discounted shoes to a bunch of customers who may not even buy. What would be the level of service to that customer?

We'd do our best. My marketing worked. We'd be too busy to give them the same level of attention that we'd normally give.

Exactly. Then what would happen?

She'd come back next week when the store calmed down.

That's an assumption. You're probably right. But maybe she'd find a new style somewhere else. Maybe you'd run these specials so often that she'd grow tired of your inattention. Maybe she'd divorce your company.

Well it's just one customer.

Yes. One nameless customer who paid full price for an exclusive brand traded in for a bunch of nameless customers who only used you for your cheap shoes.

I'll take it. It's all about growing the business.

Sure. Now assume your competitors start the same tactics. They're going to react to your discounting. They try keep their business. So they run deep discounts too. Now you're all fighting over the same customer with the biggest stick being the lowest price. Who wins now?

No one. We all lose. 

Not exactly. The company that wins is the one who found your client who wanted an exclusive brand who was willing to pay full price. The company that wins is the one you gave your client to.

How long does it take to realize this is going on?

Business is not a 50 yard dash. It's a marathon. It takes time, commitment, attention. If you cheat on your training in a marathon you won't finish. You'll lose. If you start by sprinting, you lose. If you don't feed yourself, you lose. If you don't have the right mindset, you lose. If you don't hydrate, you lose. Some conditions are in your control and some are not. The point is recognizing the difference.

So discounting isn't good for business?

I didn't say that. It's good for short term business. It's good for clearing out discontinued, perishable inventory. It's good for moving sales. It's good to put money in the bank this week. It's not good if you want to be in business longer than a couple of years.

So know this, why would people discount?

I think it's one of two reasons. Either they disagree with what I've told you or they are addicted. Can't trust an addict, they'll do anything for their next fix. What happens to an addict after longterm continued abuse? 

It's not good.

There you go. Now you're getting it. 

So how do you bring in those clients, without discounting?

How long have you been married?

Twenty four years.

How did you get your wife to marry you?

Two years of persistence to get her to go on a date, followed by two more years of courtship.

So it wasn't easy.

Nope, but it was well worth it. The good times far outnumber the bad.

See you already know the answer. Just use the same thinking it took to marry your wife.

Love is a game of catch.

What happens when you look at the world through someone else's eyes?

Mark Fox calls it "looking through another lens".
Using the idea of TRIZ, which is older than anyone alive, looking through a "lens" offers a different perspective.

It helps me look at my problems and gives me advice, options, and sometimes solutions.

This morning, I was thinking, "Why would someone feel alone when they have loved ones around them?'

Looking through a lens, and changing the question, the absurdity in the question wasn't hard to understand.

Let me explain.

Could you die from malnourishment even though you ate everyday?
Could you dehydrate although you drink liquid everyday?
Could you die from hypothermia in the middle of the summer?
Could you go bankrupt with a million dollars in the bank?

And the answer is of course.
Eat only ice cream. Drink only vodka and coffee. Fall asleep in the ocean with a life jacket on. Withdraw the money tell the bank you can't afford your mortgage.

All of these consequences result from personal choices.

The individual who feels alone isn't alone from the outsiders perspective. But he is alone from his own. And that's the only one that counts.

How do you help him not feel alone? The only way you can. You have to show him you love him.

But there's a catch.

You can't show your love by using your love language. You must use his. There are five love languages according to Gary Chapman.

l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for
taking out the garbage.” 

2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me.”

3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.

4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and
listening.

5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all
expressions of love.

If you're not sure what you're loved one's love language is, pay attention to his expressions of love.
Although, you may express your affection in different ways, you have a dominate language.

Make it your mission to find out others love languages. It will save your relationships. It has helped me immensely.

I've watched people cry when I gave them words of affirmation.
I've felt the warm embrace of a friend who needed comfort.
I've watched my daughter's eyes light up when I brought her an unexpected gift.

Try it today. Show someone you love them by understanding how they love.

It's like a game of catch. Catch the ball and now throw it right back.

Love them the way they want to be loved.
Market to them, the way you want to be marketed to.

I started with love and now I've slipped into marketing. How is that possible?
Because we're people. And we're looking for something. As vague as that is, we might not even know until it shows up. However, we will listen to the person who seems to understand.

Understand your customer and you won't have to sell to them. They will buy from you over and over again. They will love you because you love them.

And if they don't love you, ask yourself a couple of questions.
1. Have you demonstrated understanding?
2. Do you understand?
3. Is this the "right" customer?

More on the right customer another time. But if you market the right way, you'll find the right customer.

Go love your customers... They will love you with their wallets.

Mirrors to your soul, perceptions, and curveballs

I want to share something important that I've learned.
Oh yeah. I love learning new things.

And then again, what I learn isn't necessarily important for you.
Why would you say that?

Life is like that, not all things I learn are important to you. And vice versa.
I'm losing you.

Let me explain using a simple example. My son knows how to throw a "nasty" curve ball. I didn't teach it to him. Someone on youtube did.
He plays baseball?

Yes, he plays the highest level of baseball in our city for his age group. But that's not my point. He knows something I don't. I don't need to learn how to do it.
But don't you want to teach others?

Sure, but I believe a teacher should be able to do before telling someone how to.
Isn't that the opposite of that old saying, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach"?

Not all sayings are universally true. There's truth in them, but there will be always an exception. I guess I'm one of the exceptions.
You do look at the world different.

If you live your life guided by sayings and quotes, you're living your life through others' perceptions. What did you want to share?

It's basically that. Our perceptions are biased by our life experiences and the things we think we know.
Isn't experience the best teacher in life?

Sometimes. Yet other times, experience is just an experience.
But if the lesson is not learned, the experience resurfaces.

Again, maybe. We're getting off subject. Let me share the idea of perceptions. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?
Of course. Every time I'm in the bathroom.

And who do you see?
Me of course.

You're making an assumption the mirror is the right reflection, there is no bend in the glass, the right lamination, lighting and your eyes aren't playing silly games.
But I look the same each time.

Are you sure about that? Do you look the same when you get a picture taken?
I hate seeing pictures of myself.

I don't know how new cameras work, but the old ones used mirrors to capture an image. The minute the angle changes most people don't like what they see of themselves. Yet everyone else sees them exactly the way they have always been.

Get close up and look at your pores around your nose, or cheeks.
Oouf, I'd rather not.

Is that not still you?
I guess.

Better yet, when you speak, do you hear your voice?
Yes.

Do you like to hear yourself talk.
I never really thought about it. But I don't mind talking.

Have you ever heard your voice recorded?
Oh my. I hate it.

But isn't it still you?
Yes. But it embarrasses me that I sound that way. My voice sounds so tinny.

You just have a different perspective. Whether you record your voice, videotape your actions or have pictures taken, technology captures you as you actually are. Yet you don't like it because it doesn't sound or look like the way you think you are.

Huh?

Your perception of what you look like and sound like is only yours. The rest of the world sees you differently.
Why would you say that?

I have a friend who uses Equine Facilitated Training to pull out these obstructions in a person's perceptions.
What is that?

She takes a horse and gets the individual to interact with the horse.
Why a horse? Aren't dogs better for comfort?

I asked the same question. Animals can be either predator or prey. Horses are one of the only domesticated animals that are always prey. If you have an aggressive attitude, the horse will sense it and be afraid. If you are calm, the horse will sense peace and will approach you.
So a horse is like a mirror?

It's the best mirror. It looks directly into your soul and shows you exactly who you are. Reflective mirrors lie. Horses do not.

So how is this important to me?
It's a curve ball. You decide if it is or not. Just remember the person you think you are might not be the person everyone else sees. Whether good or bad...

That's counterintuitive.
The person you hate in the those pictures is the person everyone else knows. How are you not depressed all the time?

Good question...

Passion parties with persistence

Thanks for meeting with me this morning.

No problem. What's the trouble?

I'm demotivated.

Why?

I have this vision for my business and people keep telling me I'm crazy.

That's the best kind.

Huh?

You have a vision and no one else sees it, right?

Yup.

And every time you try to explain it, they shoot down your idea.

Yup.

Is it possible you're breaking new ground?

What I'm trying to do doesn't exist.

Did you know that Amazon was originally created to sell books online?

No.

And did you know that Amazon didn't make any money in its first 9 years of business?

No.

And Jeff Bezos was considered crazy because we didn't need an online bookstore. Barnes & Noble existed. You could go to the bookstore and buy the book. And simply put, they only had had to set up a website to sell their books online to complete directly with Amazon. 

But Bezos had a crazy plan. He quit his Wall Street job to start Amazon. He didn't want to sell just books. It was the first step on a staircase to heaven.

So people thought Bezos was crazy?

They still do. It's when they stop thinking he's crazy is when he should start to worry.

Ok. So my idea is good?

I didn't say that. But I'm not qualified to bust your dream.

Who is?

No one, except you.

But I'm having a hard time moving forward because these people are killing my dream.

No one can do that to you without your permission. You are giving them too much power over you. 

You're hurt because someone shot down your idea. You took it personal. If they would have called you a terrible dad, how would you have felt.

I don't have kids.

Right, so if they called you a terrible father who didn't know how to raise children, what would you think?

I wouldn't care because I'm not a dad.

If a person says something that you know is untrue, you dismiss it. But if they say something that you're not sure of, you demotivate. You're afraid. When someone tells us something that we take the wrong way, it's because at some level, we believe them. 

Holy shit. I get it. I'm giving them my power by letting them get into my head. I fight these demons every day and then someone else pulls it out and validates my big fears.

Thatta boy. 

All this demotivation has killed my passion.

Where is passion?

I wish I could tell you. I had it, but I don't know where I lost it. 

Ok. Fair enough. Let me ask you a different question. Where is the wind?

Outside.

Sure. But can you see it?

Yes. I see it when the leaves ruffle about or the blades of grass shift around.

You see the effects of the wind. You can feel it on your face as it brushes around your cheeks heading toward its destination. You don't see it. But does it exist.

Yes.

So if you go outside with a jar and lid. Can you capture the wind and seal it by closing the lid.

You're losing me. I'm starting to think you're crazy.

What you think of me is none of my business. And I disagree, so what you say about me doesn't affect what I think of myself.

Capturing the wind??? I'm lost.

Take a jar outside and capture the wind, where's the wind?

It's outside.

Exactly. The trees lean, the small hairs on your face dance and the blades of grass sway back and forth. It is the effects of the wind that reinforce in your brain that wind actually exists. Put it in a jar, and everything stops. Open the jar, and the wind doesn't make a whisper as you release it, as if it doesn't exist.

Ok, but what does the wind have to do with passion?

You don't see it. You can't bottle it. Directed properly, you can move mountains.

But I've lost it.

You can't lose passion just like you can't lose the wind. Passion shows up when we do things we love to do. Passion is an effect. It's not the root. If you look for passion, you'll never find it.

How do you know?

I was where you are five years ago. I went looking for passion. And realized that passion was inside of me. It's not something you find. It finds you. 

How does it find you?

Go do stuff. Get to work. Move. Passion hates lazy people.

I'm not lazy.

Prove it. Passion parties with persistence.

Passion parties with persistence? I have a lot to think about. Thanks for your time today. 

No problem. Never forget: your ideas are yours alone. Try not to allow others into your thinking, unless you respect them enough to act on their advice.

Blinders, noise, and secret decoder rings of advertising

Your world whirls around you like a top turning on a table.

Spinning, turning, splashing, twerving.

There's no time to get everything done.
No time to relax...
No time to enjoy...
No money...
No freedom...

You are surfing Facebook, scrolling through all the shiny happy people postings.
There's an ad between Charlene's new puppy post and Jared's selfie at the beach.

The ad is skipped, as is 99.3% of boosted ads on Facebook.

In the swirl of activity, how do you pay attention to things you seemingly don't care about?

The simple answer is you don't.

Trainers put blinders on racehorses to keep them focussed on the finish line.

Most of us do the same with our attention.
We've been told and taught to focus.

So focus you do. And when you don't have to focus, you dream. You relax, when you can.
You dream while watching television, while listening to music or podcasts. And you dream while doing menial tasks like scrolling the internet or driving.

It's an advertiser's job to communicate a message to a potential buyer that will encourage a future purchase.

97% of ad messages are noise.

In a noisy, busy world, there are two ways to drive results.
1. Make more noise than everyone else. Think of the screaming toddler at Walmart.
2. Say something that matters. Say it consistently. Say it from an angle that will surprise and delight the audience.

Both will get results.
The first will get immediate results just like that spoiled kid who gets the immediate satisfaction of the candy bar.

Be careful. Although much easier to do, there is a limit to your tolerance of screaming. You start to ignore the screaming brat although he raises his intensity. He becomes part of the noise. And advertising like this will expose the law of diminishing returns.

Working for a pizza franchise 20 years ago, franchisees saw an increase in sales every time we ran a price promotion, communicated by flyers. The answer to more sales was to run more flyers. Then the decision makers decided to run price discounts on their products year long. The flyers were used to communicate the sale price, although the product was always discounted. After 3 years working there, the marketing effort didn't grow sales anymore. We spent a lot of money marketing to a customer who learned the promotional price wasn't a special event.

Facturing the cost of marketing, we were losing money through this marketing effort.

The second option has no ceiling.
It starts out as noise like all other messages.
Until you pay attention.
It becomes the secret decoder ring.
Only meant for those who care.
You share with friends who also care.
As you participate in the messaging, you become a secret fan.
And when you're ready to buy, you don't need to hear the ad again
You are the ad.
You are the client.
You're life is made easier because you didn't have to make a choice.
There's only one choice.
You've been dating this company for months, through its advertising.
You didn't know it, but you're falling in love with them.
And as long as the sales process is as good as the advertising, you're a client for a long time.

One is really easy to do, and doesn't take a lot of effort. But it will stop working after 3 years.
The other is hard and takes a lot of work. But done well, will never stop working for you.

Which one should you do?
If you want instant gratification, one day the candy bar won't be there. Knowing that, you can decide for yourself.

Don't be an asshole. You will run out of toilet paper.

Hey Brian, I need to ask you a question.

What's up?

Is it true your moving your business off Main Street into the suburbs?

Yes. 

You're moving your sandwich business away from foot traffic? I don't get it. I thought that location was perfect for your product.

So did I. But after 5 years, it's my worst performing location.

I'm looking at expanding my business and as you know, good locations are hard to come by. If you're moving, I think I should talk to the landlord and build at that site.

Here's what I'll tell you. If you build out at that location, you will lose your shirt. We lost money every year there. I like you and I'd hate for you to make a big mistake. Don't do it. It's the wrong site. It looks good, but the type of foot traffic didn't deliver on sales expectations.

So the site didn't just underperform. It lost money?

Yup. Let me tell you something. If I didn't like you, I'd encourage you to go there. We could afford to mature the site with our other five locations. After 5 years of waiting for the business to grow, the only thing that grew was our frustration. 

Thanks Brian, I appreciate the honesty. I'll stay away.

Good call. Thanks for reaching out.

********Fast forward about a year**********

Steve, what's going on Main Street where Brian's sandwich shop used to be.

A speciality food market. An area developer is franchising the concept throughout the region.

Who's the area developer?

He used to develop ice cream franchises.

I know him. We've done business together. He's not a win-win type of guy.

Oh. So you don't want a franchise?

No thanks. 

That location is going to be great for a specialty market.

Maybe. Time will tell.

Do you know why Brian moved out?

No. 

I heard he wanted a bigger location.

That sounds like Brian. 

You sure you don't want one of these franchises. It's the next big thing.

It probably will be, but it'll just be one more thing I missed out. Thanks but no thanks.

Alright. If you know of anyone with money, please forward them my way.

These two conversations happened about a year apart. It's as much an observation of karma as it is glimpse into my own philosophy. I wish no one ill will. However, I wasn't willing to share information to help someone who tried to hurt me in the past. Call me an asshole, but I don't think the developer would have believed me anyway. I wonder if the developer called Brian. If so, did Brian tell him what he told me or does Brian feel the same way about him as I do? Time will tell if Brian was right or wrong. 

My ears were being raped.

I was sitting in a restaurant enjoying a favourite meal, when something stabbed me in the back of the head. Why do people check bathrooms to confirm the cleanliness of kitchens in restaurants?

Although there is truth in the thought, it can be misleading. 

The meal was great, but there was something "off" at this restaurant. Admittedly, I'm a restaurant junkie. I overanalyze them. I am them.

The "off" was the music. There's only two things worse than no music in a restaurant. Playing a commercial filled radio station with jock-talk every twenty minutes is second worse to what this restaurant did. And yes, it's worse than playing the radio.

Then I started to think about the bathroom thing. 

Servers clean bathrooms. Cooks clean kitchens. So why does a dirty bathroom give credence to a dirty kitchen?

What does one have to do with the other?

There are several ways to figure out if a kitchen is clean.

Here are some of my favourites:

1. Light bulbs are burnt out.

2. Gum under the tables.

3. Spiderwebs coming down from shelves.

4. Accumulated dirt in the corners before the rush of the day starts.

5. Walls needing paint.

6. Menus falling apart and needing to be replaced.

7. Music is inappropriate for the environment.

And see, none of these indications requires the customer to go 10 feet past the front door. They all deal with the same issue.

Management. The manager is responsible for all things, including systems to guarantee none of these happen. If the manager cannot implement and inspect these little things daily, then he/she is not inspecting the cleanliness of the cooks and kitchen. This I will guarantee.

For today, the restaurant felt that heavy metal was a good musical choice for its average customer. Although I like heavy metal, it isn't the type of music I want during lunch break. 

There was also a wall needing paint, a server needing a clean uniform, a light bulb needing replaced, dirt in a corner that hasn't been swept in a few days and menus were frayed. Management is turning its eye and despite an open kitchen, I could see some real problems with cleanliness on the kitchen side. 

I might have missed the other things if the music hadn't caught my attention. 

My ears were being raped.

I've heard business owners say the best marketing is the operations. Roy Williams says that marketing speeds up the inevitable.

From an irregular customer's perspective, I believe the choice for a repeat visit starts with the last visit.

Marketing internally to the customer requires the business to use as many of the five senses as possible. 

This stuff isn't just for restaurants. 

Are you ignoring taste and smell?

Are you raping ears?

Are you not allowing them to touch the product before buying?

Are you not merchandising your product inside the four walls?

A retailer shouldn't smell like tires, when they advertise they are most than just tires.

A plumber shouldn't smell like crap, although his last job had him up to his knees in the stuff.

A real estate can give away a restaurant gift card for choosing him.

A contractor can bring a coffee to his first meeting with a new prospective client.

A restaurant can play happy music.

But all these things come down to one thing: management and the systems they implement to be consistent.

Consistency is the key to fulfilling expectations. Underfulfillment leads to dissatisfaction. And dissatisfaction creates customer erosion. Customer erosion hurts business and ultimately leads to failure if not addressed properly.

A dirty bathroom is the responsibility of management as is all aspects of an operation. So you can evaluate a kitchen based on a bathroom. But if you don't want to look like the fool that walks out after being seated. Just look for burnt out lightbulbs. One or two could've burnt out today. Three is too many. So either the business doesn't have enough money to fix them or the manager doesn't systemize the inspection processes.

And if the business doesn't have enough money to replace them, don't get too attached. Either way, its bad news...

Thank god for moms

I sit here and wonder why I'm here. Not purpose. Just an answer. I see people dying, crying, laughing, and living. I wonder if I'm part of a problem or part of a solution.

I'm living, I think. But I see sadness around me. I can't fix it. I'm not sure I want to. The feeling pulls me under like a drowning person.

I'm having fun, I think. But I see others having fun and it looks nothing like mine. And I wonder when did I stop wanting to do those little things. The ones where we would go for a walk with no destination.

There was freedom in that life.

I'm free, I think. But I look at all the work I have to do and wonder if it matters. Others get their work done and still seem free.

I'm richer for it, I think. But I look at my bank account and it doesn't make me laugh or smile. It lacks the memories I yearn.

I'm tired, I think. But I take a long nap and I still feel the same.

This hallowness that I try to avoid appears on my wife's face when she smiles.

I'm a disappointment I think. But mom calls and tells me I'm smart and awesome.

Thank god for moms.

Rendezvous points, stashed cache, mission impossible.

As they left the hotel, Mommy punched in the coordinates of the destination into her phone. It was 8:40 and the meeting was scheduled for 9:15.

Umm, the GPS is saying we're 28 minutes away. Not including finding a parking spot and traffic. I thought you said we were 15 minutes from the rendezvous point.

Oh, oh. We may miss this meeting. We've hit stop-and-go morning traffic. Are you sure we're going the right way?
That's what the phone is saying. If we miss the contact, we'll have to reschedule, which means our 2.5 hour drive last night was for nothing.

I know. I know. It doesn't seem like we're going the right way. Damn this traffic.
You need to get in the middle lane. We only have 15 minutes to get there and the GPS says we're still 26 minutes away.

What? We've been driving for 20 minutes and we've only gone 2 minutes according to the phone?
Um, yeah. You need to get in the middle lane.

It's too late! I can't get in the middle lane. I'm forced to go right.
But you need to get in the middle lane.

Fuck the middle lane, I'm going right.
Where are you going? You can't do a U-turn here?

I just did. (As the tires squawk a little).
Where are you going?

I'm going the way I know how to get there.
We're going to miss the meeting.

As the van screeches through lights, turns and traffic, the quiet family arrives at the rendezvous point at 9:18. 

Get out, get out. Go to the rendezvous point. I'll find a parking spot and join you afterwards.
Which building is it?

That one right there.
Which building is it?

That one right there.
It doesn't look like the right building.

It's that building right there. I remember from the last time we were here. I gotta go. Get out. Get out. I'll meet you upstairs.

Ok, kids. It's time to get out.
Where are we?
It doesn't matter. You have to get out while daddy parks the van.
Get out. Get out. Go. Go. Go.

The van darts away from mommy and two confused kids. Daddy finds a parking garage next door to the rendezvous point. He parks the car on the sixth floor. Goes to the elevator and pushes the third floor to the Pedway. He walks 300 metres on the maze of over street walkways to arrive at the rendezvous building. The meeting is on the ninth floor. 

The ninth floor has marble from floor to ceiling. Right at the entrance to a windowless door is mommy and the two kids.

I'm sorry I told you the wrong building.
I know. Did you bring your cell phone?
Umm, yes. Can't we bring it in?

No. Can you go back to the car and bring my phone too?
I don't think I have a choice.
No, you don't. We're not allowed cell phones in here.
Ok. Give it to me.

Daddy goes back to the elevator down to the 2nd floor. For some reason, this building's second floor connects to the Pedway on the same level as the parking garage's third floor. He walks 300 metres to the parking garage. Goes up the elevator to the sixth floor and walks to the van. Upon arriving at the van, he stashes two cell phones. He wonders if cell phones aren't allowed, maybe his Fitbit won't be allowed too. So instead of taking the chance, he takes off the Fitbit and stashes it with the phones. He walks to the elevator, goes down to the third floor, walks 300 metres on the Pedway, takes the elevator of the building next door to the ninth floor. He gets out on the marble cavern and rings the doorbell. Instead of the security guard, his wife pokes her head out the door with a sly smile.

Do you still have your Fitbit on?
No.

Oh. They don't allow them either. Can you bring mine back to the van?
I don't think I have a choice. Give it to me.

Mommy's Fitbit comes in two pieces. One piece is a rubber band. The other is like a little microchip. Daddy contemplates hiding it instead of going back to the van? There's a plant there. Could he hide it in the plant? Daddy decides the risk isn't worth it, so he enters the elevator, goes down to the second floor, walks 300 metres in the Pedway, goes up to the sixth floor at the parking garage, walks to the van and places mommy's fitbit in the same place as the other stashed electronic gear. He locks the door and walks 50 metres before he thinks to himself. Maybe the automatic car lock won't get past security. He walks back to the van, removes the key from the chain, takes off electronic car starters, door locks and adds it to his cached stash. He walks back to the elevator, goes down to the third floor, walks 300 metres in the Pedway, goes up to the ninth floor into the marble cavern and rings the doorbell. A young man who probably doesn't have public hair comes out. He asks Daddy to empty his pockets. He's passed the first level of screening, now he has to go through a metal detector.

Empty your pockets into this tray.
Ok.

What is this? As the pubic hairless security guard gives Daddy the stink-eye.
Umm. Chapstick.

We don't allow that here. You'll have to bring it back to your vehicle.
You're not kidding are you? Daddy doesn't have his Fitbit and he's not willing to do more steps for nothing. Everyone knows chapstick has been used to infiltrate customs in communist China. So no wonder, it's on the banned list of this low level secure office.

The only other option is to throw it out. There's a bathroom in the hallway. Take a left when you leave this room. The bathroom is on the right a few doors down.
Ok.

Daddy's friend gave him this lip balm. She makes the stuff and although not nearly as expensive as a Fitbit, Daddy is willing to lose it. But the cheap side of him doesn't want to throw out a perfectly good stick of balm. There's always the plant he could hide it in. But, wait a minute. What about the bathroom. Michael Coreleone hid a gun in a bathroom. Could Daddy sneak a stick of lip balm in the bathroom fit for Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible? He opens the door. Then realizes, it's a bathroom. Not many worthy hiding places in a public bathroom of the ninth floor of this government building. Especially not something you'd want your lips on.But wait. The counter is made of metal. Is there a lip under the counter? Daddy runs his hand under the counter and finds the metal has an inch of extra coverage perfect for storing small things like Fitbits and lip balms. No one will ever find or see this while at the rendezvous, he says to himself.
After stashing his contraband, he swaggers back to the door with the buzzer. The young buck with a bully club opens the door, pleased to hear the illegal item has been discarded.

Come on in.
Beep.

Are you wearing a belt?
Yes.

Could you please take it off?
As if Daddy had a choice.  He takes it off and places it on the conveyor belt.

Alright, come on through.
Beep.

Oh, shoot, the shoes, says the baby faced man child, shaking off his mistake pretending to know what he's doing.
Do I just take them off and put them on the conveyor as well?
Yes.

As Daddy goes through the metal detector, he notices two things. The young security guard has perfectly shiny shoes and his bully club has hockey tape on the handle partially worn out. Does he practice swinging this club on his mom or has he used this equalizing stick on contraband carrying daddy's with lip balm?

You're good to go. Pick up your things at the other end of the metal detector.
Thank you.

It's 10:15 am. A good hour after the rendezvous. The meeting was conducted under normal conditions with no awkward "you're late" stares. After the meeting, Daddy scooted into the washroom, ran his hand under the sink and found his perfectly in tact Eclair Lip Balm. The cache was retrieved. And another impossible mission was completed. No one died, as usual. But if looks could kill, Mommy would have to answer some questions.

Souls, stress and searching for answers

Hey how are you doing?
What a coincidence? I was just thinking about you yesterday. Sorry, let me stop the book I'm listening too.

What book are you listening to?
Journey of Souls by Michael Newton.

What's it about?
It's actually about interviews with clients under hypnosis who talk about their previous lives.

That sounds kind of odd. You're not listening to a business book?
I don't just listen to books to learn about business. I try to learn about life and some series of unanswered questions. I'm trying to look at business from a different angle. It's giving me a different perspective.

What's it got to do with business?
Answers to problems can come from the oddest of places. I believe if I stay well rounded, it will help me with my search of those solutions.

Oh. I never thought of books that way.
How are things with you?

Very good. Our business doubled in the last year. I have employees now and I'm working non-stop.
Are you happy where things are going?

Umm. Yeah.
Doesn't sound convincing.

Well. It's stressful with all these people I'm responsible for. I have to always find them work and there isn't enough work sometimes.
Oh. Well are you more profitable this year than you were last year?

Probably not.
Right. I understand the stress. But are you doing what you want?

What do you mean?
In your day to day routine, are you doing what you want or are you doing things you don't want?

I refuse to work 16 hour days. But there are days I have to do a bunch of paperwork and put invoices into the accounting software.
Are you aware that bookkeepers are not that expensive?

Yes, but the problem is to find a good one. I've had a few and they have never worked out.
I understand. But just because you haven't found a good one shouldn't mean you should stop looking for one.

And then I have another person to pay...
Yes, and you remove some of the stress and to do's off your list.How do you manage your stress?

Um, ah. I just work through it.
I've been stressed and coping is not easy when you're in the middle of the stress storm. However, when things calm down a bit, my advice is to remove yourself from the problem. If it was my problem, you wouldn't get stressed out.

No, not at all. Because I wouldn't own it.
Exactly, and right now you own the stress. What if you could decide that you do not own the stress, just like you don't own mine?

I can't. I have roles and responsibilities. I do own it.
I know. But did you ever think that you allow yourself to own it?

I can't help but think about the worries everyday.
Check your thinking on this. I get stressed all the time. My easiest way to reduce it is to burn it off on the treadmill. The physical stress of running overwhelms the mental stress.

Doesn't it come back?
Yes, but it feels lighter when it does. I'm no psychologist but I believe mental stress is caused by fear. And as long as I'm afraid of something, the stress keeps popping its ugly head up. Until I deal with that fear, I can't completely remove the stress. I've closed, sold and started businesses because I wanted to relieve the fear.

What would you be afraid of?
I'm afraid all the time. Probably the same types of things you're afraid of maybe on a lesser degree. Let me share something that helps me. Most things we're afraid of will never happen. Wherever your fear lies is where stress is nesting. Ask yourself if you'd be ok if your fear was realized. If the answer is no, then you should stop doing what you're doing. It's not worth the consequences. If the answer is yes. Then no matter what happens, you'll be ok.  If you will be ok, then keep going and stop worrying.

That makes a lot of sense. I have to go. I'll let you know how it goes.
Great. Good luck. Keep your head up. I hope you can realize your greatness as easily as I see it in you.

I'm glad I ran into you today.
Me too.