Depression through mine own eyes.

You decide
or You don't decide
The choice is yours
Or not yours,

You are, who you think you are
or You are who they think you are
You are both
or neither,

You are sad
or You are happy
You are both
or neither,

You are what you have
or You are what you want
You are both,
or neither,

You are your thoughts
or You are your actions
You are both
or neither,

You are Nothing
or You are Everything
You are both
or neither,

You are Mortal
or You are immortal
You are both
or neither,

You decide
Or Don't

Happy or Sad
Or neither

YOU choose.
Or don't.

The darkness is unbearable,
The light is unthinkable,
The consequence is unknowable,
The choice is unmentionable,

You are not ALONE.
Although you feel ALONE.

TOGETHER we can get through it.
TOGETHER we will survive.
TOGETHER we will be happy AGAIN.

TOGETHER...

Witnessing a woman's pain

The empty face.
The wet eyes.
The dry voice.
The grey colour.

Emotional pain hurts,
Not only those inflicted,
Also the affected others.

There is no bandaid
Or a mother's kiss
That makes the pain
Disappear.

There is no magical cure
or wave of the wand
That makes the pain
Dissipate

There is only pain.
Deep, emotional, raw
Pain.

Life must go on,
Why?
No one knows how,
Except to take another step.

The heart is lured to quit
The soul is tantalized to wonder why
When the real question might be "Why not".

Why does this have to happen?
What purpose does it serve?
Except to hurt,
To pain,
To kill emotionally.

I've witnessed this pain four times.
Four STRONG women scammed by their emotions

Backstabbed by their Love.
Not of their fault.
That's why women are special,
Their ability to love,
Is unconditional!

Women are connected to their emotions.
So they cry...
Men cry too, but in a different way.

In my life,
Four times, women have been double crossed by their Love.
Four times... They wept uncontrollably
Four times... I cried for them uncontrollably
Four times... I cried with them uncontrollably
Four times... I hurt uncontrollably
Maybe I witnessed what it was like to be a woman.
For Four brief moments.

A cloudy, lonely pain,
As delicious as an uncooked steak.
As desirable as Disneyworld during a hurricane.

Four times, I sat and cried
Out loud,
Alone,
Hurt,
Uncontrollably,

Four times the image was the same.

Four times,
Empty.
Wet.
Dry.
Grey.

Four times...



This poem is dedicated to the four strong women who continue to influence my life. 

Birch tree in the night

Oh great tree in the night, you look like a man.
You sit there empty all day, until nightfall you stand.
I ignore you.
But you are alive.
And you salute to me as if you respect me.
Respect goes both ways and I have none for you.
I don't notice you.
You are a tree.

You must be lonely
Until the gentle cricket creaks your name.
In the glowing eyes of dusk,
You wake up.
The forest jumps with discussions of the daily events.

Oh great giant, you are free,
Chained to your roots.
But that's what you are, fore you are a tree.

You will never move from that place,
But that's what you do.
Stand and wait.
Until death.

Because you are a tree.
A great soldier of the forest.
Standing on guard to protect all other living things
Against me and the rest.