The hand of God

Tick, tock, tick, tock. The watch on my wrist moves ever so slightly, each and every second of the day. I never notice the ticking of time. Seconds swing into minutes. Minutes move into hours. Hours hurry into days. Except today at 9:22.

Time stopped today at 9:22 am. I was in the middle of a presentation to a group of entrepreneurs when the clock stopped ticking. A very awkward event turned into a beautiful and loving interaction.

Have you ever had God speak to you? I believe he spoke to me today.

A woman came up to me in the middle of my presentation and stopped me cold in my tracks. She went to the front of the room and grabbed my right arm and looked deep into my eyes as if she was in a trance. She spoke to me on such a deep spiritual level that it felt like it came right from the mouth of God. When I tried to convince her to return to her seat, she reiterated the message and told me that I needed to listen to what she was saying.

She said some things that scared me. How does she know I'm struggling with that particular issue? I don't know this lady.

If God spoke to me today, I'm scared. Things were said that I don't know how to deal with. Some may say she's a bit odd, maybe even crazy. I'm not qualified to categorize her. I know how her words made me feel. Among many things, she asked me to look deep inside my heart and start working toward my true purpose.

The ticking started again as she was escorted away. I did the presentation feeling eternally touched by an angel.

Opportunity knocks? Bullshit.

Opportunity whispers in the faintest of voices that if we're not paying attention, we miss it.

I'm feeling that if I dismiss this message I miss the opportunity that is being presented.

Thank you mysterious lady. You changed my life today.

We need to talk

Going to get my first cup of coffee of the morning, my wife tells me we need to talk. Any time I'm informed of a need to talk, it's usually not a good way to start the day. My head sinks. My insides hurt. I want to run away shaking my head, while plugging my ears, screaming at the top of my lungs, "NANANANANANA".

Normal for a kid, but unfortunately not acceptable for me. I take my punishment. I listen. As hard as it is to keep my yap shut, I'm well aware that a talk is really her talking and me being quiet. So I bite my tongue, mute the sports highlights and I nod. I agree to as much as I possibly can. But I listen. Even when I'm not listening, I keep my eyes focused on hers. If nothing else she thinks I'm listening. 

I'm a puppy. My mind races as the subject gets boring. That goal was unreal. Too bad I couldn't hear what the announcer just said. I can't believe I listened for this long. It has to be a world record. Did anyone time me? I'm sure my wife is proud of me for listening today. Maybe I'll get a treat when she's done. Wait a minute. Her mouth is still moving. She is not done. Turn away from the TV. What did she just say? I hope she won't ask me to repeat what she just said. Just keep nodding as if you heard every word I think to myself. 

Then the dreaded question comes out, "What do you think"? as she rubs my nose in my mistake. Now that it's my turn to talk, I scroll through the possible answers.

"I couldn't give a rat's ass" 

"Whatever you think"

"I can't tell you how much I really don't care what you do"

"How much is this going to cost"

I'm screwed. I got nothing. She wants a two way conversation and I'm still trying to get a java fix, while catching up on last night's sports highlights. 

Sometimes I think I'm a terrible partner. But there are times when I think she knows I'm a puppy and she just tortures me for the fun of it.

As long as she thinks I'm cute, I should be ok. Dread be the day, she sees me as an old dog.

Growth

Isn't it normal that we want more? We may want more money, more free time, more love or more vacations.

Each one of us have our reasons for wanting these things. Did you ever wonder why some people get more of what they want while we struggle with less sometimes.

Researching emotions, I discovered a fantastic equation that puts growth into a new perspective

Growth = Change - Resistance

If we want more of anything in our lives, we're searching for growth. Growth requires change. Sustainable change requires commitment. Commitment needs us to change our thinking. 

The last variable of the equation has to do with resistance. That little voice that spews out negativity, skepticism, cynicism or anything else that slows us down is part of this resistance. Resistances could be anything from limiting beliefs, stubbornness, to inability to see someone else's perspective. We need to go into change with a completely open, positive frame of mind.

What's your favourite body part?

Let us slip back and time and ask a question you may have been asked in high school. What is your favourite body part?

I love the eyes. They tell so much about a person.

Eyes are so called windows to the soul.

Notice that I didn't mention to who's body I was referring. Someone else's or our own?

In today's world of plasticity, we have forgotten to love ourselves.

Do you have a favourite body part on yourself? Do you have an area that you think was made just perfect?

Look at yourself in the mirror. Maybe there is an area that has too much hair, too flabby, too skeletal? What do you compare yourself to? Is it an ideal that you see in a photo-shopped magazine? Is the Hollywood standard what we measure ourselves against?

It's easy for us to criticize the plastic posers that supposedly signify beauty of our generation.

I think it's normal to have parts that we are dissatisfied with. I know I have my fair share of things that I would love to change. Some things are my own doing and some are genetic.

But there's one area on my body I have always loved. Call me egotistical. Call me vain. When I'm feeling down about my aging vessel, I check my fave part out in the mirror. It always makes me feel better.

My wife laughs when I brag about it. She thinks I'm a crazy.

Before we can love someone else we have to love ourselves. Yet we look in the mirror and there are things that we would like to change. Can we be thankful for the things we have?

That being said I'm going to continue to love this fave body part on myself.

Reflections

It's been 11 months since we sold our businesses. I planned to be back at the helm of another business within weeks. It doesn't feel that long ago. But then, I didn't do much all summer. Unless getting the best tan I've had since I was 22 is considered doing something.

I enjoyed the summer. It's now over. And now I must return to my dreams.

The quiet serenity of my house has returned as the kids re-enter school. So it is with this tranquility that I reflect. Reflect where I am and the progress of my 11 month non-voyage.

Three months into my sabbatical,  encouraged that something was imminent, I hand wrote my goals for 2014. I was excited. Everything seemed possible.

Was I dreaming? Was I expecting too much? I have learned to shoot for the stars in my expectations and I'll end up somewhere near the moon. Dream big or go home.

Anyone who knows me, I mean really knows me, knows that I'm a dreamer. It's probably got something to do with when I was born. Not a fan of horoscopes, however there seems to be some truth to my Aquarius sign.

Until now, most of my dreams have come true. This one really hurts as 2014 enters the homestretch.

I know I can't force what I want. I know I can't make other people do what I want. But with all of this uncertainty, I am questioning if this is something I really want. I have pursued it for 9 months. Is there something in the universe that is holding it back from me. Am I worthy enough for this project? Am I being protected from it. Have I done everything I can to move this forward?

I'm concerned this dream is never going to be realized. I have to start dreaming of something else. So in analyzing what I want, I am told to follow my bliss. Have you ever wondered about your bliss? I don't know if I have one.

Your bliss is supposed to be that job you'd work happily at for free. Most anything I can think of would be fun for a few weeks, but then I'd be bored. My wife asked me what I'm really passionate about. I don't have an answer. Is it possible, I don't have a bliss?

I don't have any of the answers. I'm sharing my thoughts, my reflections, my insecurities.

I have to get back to work. All this reflecting is scaring the shit out of me.