A story about cows

I hate cows. It comes from my youth. The neighbouring farmer never tended to his fences and the cows used to trample my dad's landscaped lawn. Mowing it was a challenge with beastly hoofholes. The lawnmower wheels would get stuck in them forcing me lift and tug on the mower only to be met with a new challenge a few feet away.

Mowing was my job. Taking time away from valuable playtime, I hated mowing anyways. So the addition of potholes made my disdain even greater as I directed my anger toward my thousand pound nemesis.

Cows are good for two things: Hamburgers and Ice Cream.

There is nothing special about cows. Cow lovers will argue that they are pretty. That they are the backbone of our economy. I have one word for Cow lovers: Blah!

We learned in school that a dog goes woof, a cat goes meow and a cow goes moo.

Wrong!
Cows don't moo.
Have you ever heard a cow wail away? Mooing is not in their vocabulary. The french say that a cow goes "meule". More appropriate in my opinion. Even the French need to give the sound more emphasis. A cow sarcastically screams from their stomach a sound that repeats no less than three times. The sound is a cross between a cat in heat and the sound of someone getting punched in the gut.

Between the sound of these beastly demons and their escapades on virgin lawns, I loathe them.

Despite my loathing, I have learned something great about cows. They are everywhere and no one cares about them except those that benefit from their existence: the farmer's family.

There's nothing remarkable cows that forces the average person to stop and take a picture of them. I don't ever remember seeing a Facebook post or a picture tweeted on cows. No instagram, Pinterest. No first page news in the local newspaper. Nothing. Because no one cares about the unremarkable.

Businesses can be like cows. Unremarkable with the only ones caring about them being the owners friends and family.  50% of businesses fail in the first two years of operation because enough people didn't care enough to continue supporting the cow-like enterprises.

If you want to get into business, do your family a favour. Don't become another unremarkable cow.

In Seth Godin's epic book, "Purple Cow", he explains how a purple cow will gather attention. It will force a bystander to pose questions. People will talk and share the remarkable while contributing the popularity of the cow. This cow is different. It isn't normal. It's beyond remarkable. It's shareable.

And most importantly, in its remarkability, it becomes memorable.

We have enough cows. Don't contribute to the problem. Be part of the solution. You'll benefit greatly both financially and emotionally. I hate cows. I love purple cows.

We need more of them.