Coffee talk business conversation

I see you're in your office.
I sit here every weekday after 2pm gathering my thoughts and writing about random business conversations.

I remember reading that in one of your blogs. I was in drive-thru and I saw bright orange jacket screaming at me. Then I saw it was you and it wasn't a surprise.
How's your business purchase coming along?

I haven't done anything further with it.
Why?

I have to figure out the money thing and decide if it's worth it for me.
Are you worried about financial stability?

Of course.
What if you lost your job tomorrow?

I'd be out of work and have to find another job.
You aren't comparing like objects. The stability of your employment is based on the assumption that you will be continuously employed forever. When we both know, downturns in the economy, rightsizes, merges and acquisitions, competitive factors and technology threaten our jobs everyday.

Yeah but I have a steady paycheque, whereas if I bought that company, there is no guaranteed paycheque.
Has the business been around for more than 10 years?

Yes.
Is the business dependant on the current owner being there?

Yes and no. The employees do the "real" work while the owner sits in an office all day, doing nothing except taking a three hour lunch everyday at god knows where.
Don't misinterpret entrepreneurship with technical work.

What's the difference?
Let me change the question.

I should've expected that from you.
When you're at home, do you have chores to do?

Umm, yeah. Don't we all.
Right, but isn't the chores we do like cleaning the garage, mowing the lawn, or painting the fence considered work?

Sure, but it's not paying work.
Exactly, but if it doesn't get done, what happens?

Things start to break, and the value of my home will go down. I'll be miserable.
So as much as you hate it, if it doesn't get done, things will be worse.

Exactly.
The same goes for business. Many would-be entrepreneurs get into a business that does a technical job that they're really good at. They focus on the technical aspects of the business and ignore the other stuff. The focus on where to make their dollar today. And just like you're home, if you ignore the other stuff long enough, it devalues itself, it starts to break down and ultimately it will make you miserable.

You've lost me. You're comparing household chores to office work. I get the need for office work. I'll just hire someone to do it.
Right, so why haven't you hired someone to mow your lawn yet?

Wha??? That's not a fair question.
My point is that your discounting the contribution of the owner in his organization because he sits behind a desk and then disappears. Just because he isn't doing the billable work, doesn't mean his contribution to the organization isn't substantial.

Ok. Fair enough. He's there everyday.
Are the sales growing or are they flat?

Flat, but with new blood, the sales could explode.
Could they implode?

The majority of sales are dependant on federal political contracts.
Are these contracts awarded annually?

Yes. But he gets them every year.
So what's the problem?

I'm afraid the contracts won't give me enough security to move forward with a purchase.
That's fair. Why do you want a business anyways?

To make more money.
Wrong answer. If you want to make more money, keep your job, or get another job, or figure out how you can make money on the side while keeping your job.

But I want to own a business.
No. You just said, you wanted more money. You think owning a business will give that to you. That's a false assumption.

What's the right answer?
There isn't one. An absence of the wrong answer is the right one.

Now your talking in riddles. Please help me out.
Wrong answers include; more money, more time, more fame and more flexibility. You see there's a difference between owning a business and owning a personal revenue stream.

Personal revenue stream...um,  I'm confused.
A business is something that helps many people in the community: suppliers, employees, customers and owners. A personal revenue stream is a type of business with a single purpose - make money for the owner.

Can you give me an example?
That's easy. For years young professionals, like doctors, dentists and orthodontists would buy a book of business from a retiring professional. Dr. Smith's clients would get sold to Dr. Kelly, which is truly just a personal revenue stream transfer. There wasn't any brand equity transferred. The brand "Dr. Smith" was gone, and the new brand, Dr. Kelly was here. So although, the young doctor would buy a business, he actually had nothing because the brand equity left with the retirement of the previous doctor.

But customers will keep going because we're all creatures of habit.
Yes, but the relationship was with the person and not a strategically built brand.

What would have to be done to turn the same model into a business?
The young doctors started clinics using names not associated to the practicing professionals. Dr. Smith's office became "Doc Wellness". Anyone working at Doc Wellness was an employee, including the presiding doctor. Dr. Smith could leave or sell and Doc Wellness lives beyond him. Now that's brand equity. Customers who came didn't necessarily get Dr. Smith each time.  Just like in a restaurant, they couldn't always choose who would be serving them. They were building relationships with a brand and ultimately a business.

You still haven't answered my question, what's the right answer to why I should own a business?
That's a very personal answer that I can answer for you. What I can tell you is a business exists for only one reason, and it's not for you. The business exists to help others get what they want. It has to be greater than the owner's needs. A business helps customers first. And when I mean customers, I mean buyers, employees, suppliers, bankers, government and landlords. If there's anything left, the owner gets to decide where it goes - his pocket or a in a future investment.

It has to be greater than the owner? I thought the business was mine.
You control the asset. But without everyone else, you have nothing. It is their grace that allows you to succeed. Never forget that. But that's a story for another time. You haven't decided to buy yet.

No, I'm scared.
That's perfectly normal. You have to figure out why you want to do this beyond money. And here's why: Imagine in a moment of weakness, when nothing seems to be going well, when you wish you just had a job. The 80 hour week isn't commensurate with your pay. Your wife is worried. You're worried. Mortgage on your house just got missed. At what point do you quit?

I don't know.
You'll quit when the pain is greater than the perceived reward. If your goal is money and there isn't any, you'll lose faith quickly. If your goal is something greater, you'll persevere through the lack of funds. You'll even invest more money to try to keep your dream alive.

That's crazy. Who would do that?
Only people who get into business for money would say that. A dream is all us entrepreneurs have. And building on it is why we do what we do.

I can't afford to make a mistake. How will I provide for my family if I do?
Then stay out of business. Mistakes are going to happen. This isn't grade 12 math where there are only right and wrong answers. There's no way of knowing for sure what is going to happen. World War 3 could start tomorrow and kill all of our efforts.  I don't worry about the things I can't control. I only dream of things for a better tomorrow.

I have to go, but I just wanted to say hi.
Hi to you as well. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Just remember, do it for something greater than for yourself. And ask yourself this, if money wasn't a concern would you do the deal?

I don't know.
Right. Money's usually not the problem, but always the excuse to not do something.

Are you a car chasing dog?

Entry: December 27, 2017

Sitting in a coffeeshop, sipping on a green tea, I was writing about sales conversions when someone  interrupted my thoughts.

Excuse me, do you remember me?
Not sure, where do I know you from?

From a marketing class you did in June. Can I ask you a question?
Sure, what's up?

I'm having a hard time converting clients into my 12 session packages.
Refresh my memory on your product.

It's a service based product that I charge $85/hour for consultation. I'm trying to get those early purchasers to convert onto an annual package.

Have you converted anyone yet?
No

Did your client pay a fee for the first session.
Yes.

Good, that means you got them to open their wallet. That is one of the hardest steps in the sales cycle.
So why can't I get them to buy future sessions. Dentists get their customers to book right away after their initial session.

Be careful of your thoughts
What?

Dentists sell preventative maintenance contracts. A patient calls for one thing, maybe a sore tooth. The dentist pulls the tooth and explains why the patient may want to buy into their maintenance contract to not get more sore teeth. It's really fear based marketing. Many people walk into a dentist office to get the problem fixed never to come back until the next problem arises.

But the dentist really wants the customer to come back every six months right?
Of course. That's as close to guaranteed sales as anyone can get.

So how do I make my business more like a preventative maintenance contract?
It starts with your approach.

How much money are you spending on marketing?
None, I do the free stuff like Facebook, Facebook Live and Instagram.

What are your results?
I got three clients from it.

And once those three clients experienced your service, what happened next?
I offered them my 12 session package at a discount, but no one took it.

Based on what you told me, that's not what dentists do.
Yes they do. You said it yourself, they get you into the preventative maintenance contract.

No. Dentists get you to agree to another session. - One at a time. Slowly but surely.
Yeah, but once you're in, they've got you.

Not necessarily. Let me explain in a different way. Are you married or in a serious relationship?
Yes, I've been dating the same girl for 2 years.

How did you meet?
On Tinder.

Ok, so when you met your girlfriend on Tinder, did you ask her to sign up for a 12 month relationship package?
No, that would've been weird.

Why?
For two reasons, I don't know if I like her yet. And even if I did,  I wouldn't want to scare her away by being too....

Aggressive?
Oh my!

You're trying to marry your customers on the first date. Stop that right now.
So you're saying, my main goal after the first date is to get a second date???

Use your first session as a "getting to know you" opportunity. Just like in dating, if you don't think you can help, or if you don't want to help,  don't offer a second session.

But I'm leaving an opportunity off the table. Isn't that bad sales?
Not really. If you're not going to be able to help them because of their poor attitude, they're going to be more harm than good through negative referrals. They will bring you down and your ability to help someone more worthy of your talents.

But money is money. And if they've got it, shouldn't I want it?
Business isn't linear that way. If you think like that, you'll be chasing cars your whole life not understanding why no one is stopping for you.

You've lost me again.
Who chases cars?

Uh, dogs?
Exactly, and if you chase cars, then you're just another dog. Imagine you own a retail store on one of the busiest streets in your city. There are five equally competent competitors selling relatively the same thing within a mile of your store. To convince people you are the best choice, you've invested in the biggest, brightest sign. People notice you and inevitably, they stop in to find out your product is below their expectations and your service is worse. Will they be back?

No, but my product won't suck and my service will be the best.
Says all of your competitors.

But it will.
You don't get to decide that. The person walking through the door makes those decisions for themselves.

What does this have to do with chasing cars?
The amount of cars going by your store doesn't diminish. However, what happens is that the traffic inside your store does. Over time, those cars don't stop anymore. And all of your marketing efforts in your signage and your high priced rent is useless.

But someone will like what I offer, right?
Yes, but your adrenaline addiction for "traffic" and "opened wallets" will tantalize you with destructive behaviours like price discounting.

You've lost me.
If you chase money, it will always elude you.

So what do I have to do differently?
That's a conversation for another time. I'm late for my lunch rush. Here's my card, call me tomorrow to set up our next meeting. My hourly rate is $150.

Do you offer a discount?
Nope, and you should've picked up from our conversation that is the wrong question.

But I'm new at this entrepreneurship stuff and I don't have any money.
I get it. Would it make you feel better if I give you my consulting for free?

Yep.
But it won't help either of us because you won't take me serious.

Of course I will, I think you have a lot to offer me.
Let's step back for a minute. Think about everything I've already shared with you.

Chasing cars, discounting and relationships, I get it...
Well if I was chasing your car, I jump into the free advice, hoping that you'd like me enough to get into a relationship with me. Then when you were making money, you'd start paying me.

Exactly. I'll take care of you if you take care of me.
Wrong. You take care of me, because that's what you do. The customer relationship is based on you taking care of the customer.

But if I paid you, I'm your customer. Not the other way around.
That's what I mean by business not being linear. Customers are suppliers, consultants, street sweepers, people buying your product, people seeing your product. Any interaction with your brand creates a potential customer. Your role in your business is to create and keep as many positive customers as you can. Although you would be paying me, I'm still one of your customers. I help your business succeed. And you'd be my customer.

So will you help me?
I'm not chasing cars. I need a few more dates to figure that out. But the next date is not on my dime. If you're not willing to pay my hourly fee in advance to our next meeting, then I can refer you to someone else.

I will call you tomorrow.
Ok. If you don't, can you do me a favour?

Sure, what?
Throw out my card.

I've never met anyone like you. Are you serious?
If you can't keep a simple promise like calling me, throwing out my card releases me from having to tell you I can't work with you.

Did Amazon kill the Re-tail star

If you want to know the future, review the past.

There was a time when there was one store in town. And it sold almost everything you needed.
Food, hardware, clothes, and toys all bought under one roof.
One guy would be in the store to take your order at the front counter.
You could wait for him to gather your items or you could come back later to pick them up.
If your order was big enough, he would load them up in his wagon and deliver them to you on his way home.

As towns grew, the General Store couldn't keep up, so competition emerged. Merchants figured out that demand was somewhat based on supply, so they built bigger stores, put more stuff in them and eliminated the counter person. Customers could pick up what they wanted. They would go to the counter and pay the clerk instead. Less staff kept prices down. And low prices were the way to win the customer's loyalty.

Competitors showed up and started to specialize in products. New needs emerged with technological advances and economics of a growing population. Instead of General Stores, we built clothing stores, hardware stores, drugstores, grocery stores, liquor stores, and service stations.

Many stores were still General Stores, but they didn't identify as such. Sears, The Bay, Eatons, Woolworths, Zellers and K-Mart kept acting like General Stores but didn't accept the changes of the market demands.

Instead of picking out what we wanted in the store, we called or mailed our order to a counter person and our items would be delivered to our local depot for pickup. The item would be picked by employees, while we waited for its arrival.

By using technology, those first to the catalogue business benefitted greatly from their innovation.
Was the concept much different from the General Store?

Some companies figured out that they didn't need retail space. Why spend rent when customers are ordering over the phone and by mail? Enter Consumers Distributing.  From 1957 to 1996, Consumers Distributing sold "online" only. Their business model was flawed in that they were often out of stock when customers tried to order.

The new-age General Store emerged with Sam Walton guaranteeing lowest prices. He recognized the inefficient supply channel and knew if he fixed it, he couldn't be beat on price as the current game was being played. And thus emerged the term "Category Killer".

Say good bye to Consumers Distributors, The Bay, Sears, Eatons, Woolworths, Zellers and K-Mart. They were all competing on price with each other and Walmart changed the game to their advantage.

The General Store still exists and will always exist.

In 1994, technology brought in the next wave of competitors.
You still go to a counter. We call them websites now.
Someone else picks the item.
Someone delivers it.
You still have choice.
And price is still important.

In 2015, Walmart closed 247 stores.
According to Price Waterhouse Cooper, 56% of all worldwide retail shopping is done online.

The world of retail has changed.
You can no longer compete on price.
We knew that 23 years ago when Walmart started killing the competition.
We know that even better today as Amazon euthanizes Walmart.

So don't try.
Decide that you are not going to be the best price.
Decide that you are going to be the best at something else.

Some products are commodities, where the only thing that matters is price.
That's why Dollar Stores exist.

If you are trying to compete with these giants in a commodity type industry, you're like the chickens we used to kill every October. You're still bouncing around, but your head has been cut off.

"Customers" (I use the term loosely), are coming to your store, benefitting from your expertise, acquiring knowledge, checking out reviews and prices on their phone, and then making a purchase decision that probably doesn't include your store, unless they need the product now.

The future of off-line retail is dead, unless something changes.

Consumer prices are generally higher in traditional retail because someone has to pay for the expensive rent.
Offline retail cannot compete on price with online retail.
The metrics don't work.
Time is also a problem
Consumers are busy.
The old way of shopping is inefficient for these time sensitive buyers.

Despite this, off-line retail has a huge opportunity.
The king of off-line retail, Costco, knows this better than anyone else. Offering samples at the end of each aisle helps them sell more food but it also helps them stay ahead of online retailers by offering samples to create enjoyable shopping experiences.

CNBC reported in 2016 that Millenials are spending less money on stuff and more money on experiences. They'd rather ride a scooter and travel to a foreign country twice a year than own a Lexus and have a $50,000 debt.

Experiences over Stuff

I asked my millennial friend Craig about this and he smiled. He and his wife earn almost $150,000 per year. They own a modest home, no kids, and a dog. No fancy cars, but they travel four times per year.

Experiences over Stuff

The experiential shopping factor at a Walmart on a scale of 1-10 is 0.
The experiential factor on Amazon is close to the same.

They both sell stuff. You buy it. It shows up.

Off-line retail has something Amazon does not. It can offer an experience.
And I'm not talking about the cliche experience most retailers currently offer, like friendly service, nice posters, inviting music and well dressed employees.

Experience is deeper than that.

Imagine wanting a baseball bat.
Before you buy it, you can try it out while you hit a baseball into the stands of Fenway Park or Wrigley Field. Half virtual, half real so the customer can test the "feel and performance" of the product.

You can still buy the bat online for $20 cheaper, but maybe the "trial" comes with a $10 handling fee that is credited to the purchase of the bat if you buy it.

You can do that with almost any retail product. But it takes guts to move in that direction.

The world of retail is constantly changing.

Amazon will sell cheap stuff until the next General Store emerges. Technology will decide what that will look like, as it always has.

So the only way the new face of retail will survive is if it changes the way it offers new, exciting experiences to its customers.

Get customers to break down your door

Apple Pie is best 10 minutes out of the oven with a scoop of french vanilla ice cream.
The ice cream slides off like a 5 year old boy screaming with joy on the playground.
The first bite reminds me of that one apple tree in my grandma's back yard. The grandkids would pick the tree bare each autumn so grandma would bake us a pie.
We called our grandma, memere, which is slang for grand mere in French.
Her freezer had an endless supply of Napoleon (neapolitan) ice cream.  
In the fall, she traded it for french vanilla.
Without ice cream, apple pie is disappointing.
My memere made a great apple pie. Your grandma did too. Mine is gone and so is her apple pie, so we will never be able to settle who's was better
It's the first day of Autumn and I can't help but think of those apple pie days in my youth. Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer never had so much fun...
This is part of a previous blog I wrote. Can you smell the apple pie cooking in the oven?

The point of the the story is to bring out an emotion. The type of emotion is not important.
If the story brings out an emotion, then it has done it's job.

What does any of this have to do with marketing?
If you can create an emotion in your target audience, they will remember the ad. They will personalize your story for their own perspective.

Through personalization, they will find comfort with your brand.
You never have to sell to a group who wants to buy.

You can sell anything with this story. You're not limited to ice cream, apples and ovens.

You could finish off the ad selling ice cream:
...Nicholson's old fashioned ice cream.  Like the kind grandma used to put on your apple pie.

or apples:
...Nicholson's Orchard. Grandma said wild apples make the best apple pies.  We think she was right.

or books:
...Richard's Bookstore. Your imagination is waiting for you.

The job of the ad is to get into a customer's head. Most of us have eaten apple pie. Most of us have memories of grandma. Those emotions get exposed in a story like this.

Go write a story. It doesn't have to be about your product. The product is secondary to the story.

The story is the hero.
The product is like the supporting cast to the story.

If the customer participates in your story, you were persuasive.
If you're product is relevant to the customer, they will buy,
When he is ready to buy.

If you're ad is neither relevant nor persuasive, then you've wasted your marketing dollars.

Persuasion can be about price, limited time offers and limited stock. But that's the quick route to selling that loses effectiveness with any passage of time.

Those pesky price offers only work in the short term.
I hope you'll be in business longer than that.

Cliche is predictable and unrewarding

Do you live a cliche life?

No one wants to average, but everyone wants to be considered normal.
We feel unique, but most of us don't want to stand out.

Cliches are based on predictable patterns, words, solutions, and problems.

Go to school, get an education, get a good job.
You have to spend money to make money.

You can't save your way to success.

A life without struggle is not a life worth living.

First in wins.

Curiosity killed the cat.

A cliche thought followed by cliche action creates predictable results.

We cannot win by fighting the same battle as everyone else.

Winners in battle change the rules to their advantage so they can win. All great generals of war know this.

To win the game, you must change the rules, or wait an extremely long time with many casualties.

I'm impatient, and I don't want any casualties on my side.
I'd rather change the rules in my favour.

The United States military is the greatest military force the world has ever seen. In 2000, they developed War Game called Millennium Challenge. Paul Van Riper, a lieutenant in the Vietnam war was hired to act as a Middle Eastern rogue nation, otherwise labelled as "Red Team". The good guys were called "Blue Team".

Paul Van Riper knew the traditional steps in war. He prepared for the big slow moving machine to start their process. When "Blue Team" knocked out communication towers, he had already incorporated Morse Code to keep the lines open. When Blue Team attacked the ground head-on, Red Team attacked the back line, taking down aircraft carriers, and battleships. Blue team was highly predictable and Red Team was not. Using guerrilla warfare tactics that weren't conceived by the intuitive mindset of the opposing generals posed a major challenge for Blue Team. Within weeks, Blue Team was defeated despite its resources. Van Riper wasn't predictable and Blue Team didn't know what to do each time he struck.

Marketing works exactly the same way. The battle to gain attention is harder every day with each piece of new technology demanding our attention.

The way to win at marketing is by doing things differently.

Roy H. Williams of Wizard of Ads teaches his students about Broca's area of the brain. Broca is the gatekeeper to our brain. If the received information is not new, exciting or different, Broca slams the door shut and doesn't pass the material to the area of the brain that will retain it for future use.

Cliche is not new, exciting, or different.

Your life works the exactly the same way.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down one as far as I couldTo where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,And having perhaps the better claim,Because it was grassy and wanted wear;Though as for that the passing thereHad worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally layIn leaves no step had trodden black.Oh, I kept the first for another day!Yet knowing how way leads on to way,I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sighSomewhere ages and ages hence:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference. 

- Robert Frost "The Road Not Taken"

Revealing secrets

As you go through life, there are things you are striving for.

Simple or complicated, there is something on the horizon that you want for a better tomorrow.

Instead of thinking about all the things you have, try to think about all the things you've done. 

How did you achieve them?

What were the obstacles?

How did you overcome them?

Was there a solution to the obstacle that seemed complicated at the time.
But now it was so simple?

Could you solve that same problem again with little effort?

I believe the life you want is the life you have.

I also believe the life you want is one simple solution away.

At Wizard Academy, Mark Fox teaches a class called Davinci and the 40 Answers. Mark is a rocket scientist who worked for NASA. He teaches a problem solving protocol that can be used for any problem you could imagine. 

There are only 40 solutions to any of your problems.

Once you learn the usage of his techniques, you see the world differently.
Roses tingle your nose.
Wine dances on your tongue.

And elephants tango with the stars in your dreams.

One of the 40 solutions is to turn the problem upside down.

Walk into dark room, and turn on a flashlight.
It will help you see, unless you turn the light toward your face.
You'll be blinded by the light and won't see anything.
Turn the light off. And your eyes will dance with glee as the darkness reveals her secrets.

The absence of light can limit your vision, but can also enhance it.
And light focused in the wrong direction will also limit vision.

Talking to a computer engineer named Dustin, he reminded me of Mark Fox's 40 answers. He boldly stated that he believed cancer was the key to humanity's immortality. 

Is it possible the thing we're trying to eliminate is the thing that is trying to save us?

As you think about your problems, look at the problem from a new angle.

Albert Einstein said, "A problem cannot be solved with the same level of thinking that created it". If Einstein had met Mark Fox, they would have enjoyed each others company.  

How have you changed your thinking to solve your problems?
Maybe the light is pointed toward your eyes too long.
Turn it off and your darkness may reveal your secrets.

Enjoy.

Pigeons pecking on the playground

There was a time when reality was something your teacher would tell you to come back to. You would look out the window to watch the pigeon peck on the playground while in the background there was a voice talking about the multiplication tables.

The voice would bellow, louder and louder until finally, it would awake you from your day slumber.

It is easy to go into that slumber as things around you become less interesting as the object of your attention.

Grade school was a million years ago, but those same tendencies still exist in all of us as adults.

Television was the first impactful distraction away from the dullness of life. Then came the internet, and the ability to watch anything, anywhere, anytime.

But the thing that has taken the most of our time and our interest is Social Media. With technology advancements with cellular phones, Social Media has become an all encompassing distraction.

It allows for the distribution of information unlike any other media has been able to reach. It takes the  benefits of television, radio, newspaper and internet and puts them into one ball and allows you to consume whatever information you desire. But it adds one other component the others are not able to do.

It interlaces all of this information with opinions and photos of people you know. And if that wasn't enough, it allows for any of their connections to reinforce or debate the original position.

Social media allows not only for communication, but also drama for all of its participants. Like television, some of the stories are interesting. But most of them are garbage and only interesting to the poster and his close connections (ie. REAL friends and family).

Social media gives us 4 million channels and 3,999,954 give us nothing but a feeling of anger, emptiness, sadness, unworthiness, and uselessness. Social media at its core is nothing more than reality television with people we know as the stars of the show.

It is the pigeon pecking on the playground.
And your life is calling you, but it's easy not to hear it. It's not that interesting and there's better things to do while we wait for something better to come along.

For these reasons, I have decided to limit my time on social media.
For these reasons, I have decided to limit my ability to communicate to you.
For these reasons, I have not been on social media for 5 days.
For these reasons, I do not know what's going on in your lives.

But when we meet, I will have more to say to you.

I will not feel like I know your whole life.
You will feel like I am more interested in you...because I will be.

So if you try to reach me on social media, I will not respond. The phone is disconnected for the time being.

Your life needs you. And you need it.

You shouldn't embrace change

Change is an emotion.

It's a feeling scratching at the backside of your eyeballs while hammering your pinky toe with a heavy object.

In the movie, Inside Out, you were told a story about how "Sadness" brings you to "Happiness".

Change is like "Sadness". It brings us to a happier place, when we embrace it.

No one likes change happening to them. It has to do with safety and security. When things go well, why would anyone want change? That would be a cross between insanity and masochism.

Despite not wanting change, it is inevitable.
A life void of change is unsafe and insecure.
There used to be jobs that people would do for a lifetime.
Changes in technology, competition and a shrinking global marketplace got rid of most of those jobs.

Change happens to you or by you.
It's your choice.
Your circumstances will change undoubtedly.
You can navigate the uncertain waters or be swallowed by their unforgiving ferocity.

If you captain your ship, and not blame the changing weather for your misfortunes, you'll get to a better place.
When you blame circumstances beyond your control, you victimize yourself. You limit your growth, your potential, and future opportunities. Living in past glories fogs your current judgement and denies you the realization the world has changed...and leaving you behind in the mud while all the change agents move forward to the next "Happy" place.

Unless you want to be sad for the rest of your days, you should stop changing.
Stay the same.
That only works for dogs, in my opinion.

The battle of your brain

If you're like me, the decision to do or not do is a battle every day.

The world pays attention to doers and ignores the non-doers. To live and have the world not notice you is a choice. It's a poor choice filled with limited opportunities, self-loathing, unfulfilled desires and regret.

But it's still a choice.

To not do is safe.
According to Abraham Maslow, safety and security is what you need after your belly is full.
Physical security is important for survival.
If you're facing physical danger with lions, tigers and bears.

Most of your fears are not based on physical danger.
They are based on mental ones.

One mental danger is the fear of not belonging.

You don't want to be shunned from a tribe, laughed into the wilderness, and cast off to a desert island.

That fear haunts you with every step.

As it does me almost every day.

Imagine a room filled with people you feel are smarter, and richer than you.
One of them knows Oprah.
One has his own TV show.
Another has a private jet.
You've been invited to this room, just like all the others.

I know how I'd feel because it happened to me. I was like Wayne Campbell in the movie, Wayne's World mouthing silently,

"We're not worthy. We're not worthy."

It's hard not to be the bumbling idiot in the room. The imposter syndrome shows up at just the wrong time.

In my room, we were asked if we had anything to share.
I had two pieces of writing: a radio ad and a blog post that I was proud of.

When it came time to share, I stumbled. I shook. I hesitated.
Ultimately, I lost an opportunity to demonstrate what I was capable of.

And now I live in regret, which is much worse than getting cast out of the tribe.

Deconstructing my own behaviour I noticed something.
I am insecure at my core.
As an artist, I don't want people to critique my work.
I don't want people to tell me my baby is ugly.
To be judged scares the crap out of me.

At the same time, I'm a proud papa.
No matter how ugly the baby, I love him just the same because I created him.

While my two minds of Insecure artist and Proud papa argued what to do, time slipped away.
The bumbling fan watched the superstars be great.
And instead of being on the same field, I became a fanboy.

And another opportunity was lost.
Until next time, when the battle rages again.

I encourage you to be vulnerable. To let your greatness loose.
Regret is a powerful pain that cannot be measured.

When you're vulnerable, people notice you.
Most people wear a mask to protect their flaws.
Shedding your mask is attractive to others as they struggle with authenticity for themselves.
And when they see you doing it,  you become more likeable.

It's ok to be afraid.
If you weren't, you wouldn't be human.

But act despite it. Opportunity is exponential.

Baking a pie

I like apple pie.
It's best 10 minutes out of the oven with a scoop of french vanilla ice cream.

The ice cream slides off the pie like a 5 year old boy screaming with joy on the playground.

The first bite reminds me of that one apple tree in my grandma's back yard. The grandkids would pick the tree bare each autumn so grandma would bake us a pie.

We called our grandma, memere, which is slang for grand mere in French.

Her freezer always had ice cream in it. Her favourite was Napoleon (neapolitan). But in the fall, she traded in her napoleon flavoured ice cream for french vanilla.

Apple pie is unremarkable without the ice cream. I've tried it and have been disappointed too many times.

My memere made the best apple pie. I'm sure you'll disagree with me. But she's gone and so is her apple pie, so we will never be able to settle that argument.

It's the first day of Autumn and I can't help but think of those apple pie days in my youth. Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer never had so much fun.

Yet today, I am reminded that my children's memories are as relevant as my own. My best memories are based on those simple experiences. I have to keep that in mind as I create memories for our kids.

It's not the big adventures, the grand gestures nor the latest toys.

The best memories are simple as apple pie. Sitting at my Memere's kitchen table eating a fruit that was picked the day before by me and my cousins.  And adding a scoop of French Vanilla ice cream just because today is a special day.

Where's your apple pie? And what's the scoop of ice cream that is going to put your simple pie into the "best ever" category.

Go make memories.
That's all we have, when all the other stuff rusts away.

Opinions are like a*&holes...

There's a new era among us.
In 100 years, we have seen the industrial age, the information age, and now there's a new age that parasites itself on the information age.

It's always been around.
Technology makes it more accessible and louder.
It sickens me.

I'm calling it the opinion age.

People have always had opinions.
Before social media, an opinion only had the breadth of someone's voice and network.
If you didn't like what someone had to say, you left the room. You disassociated yourself with the nut and you only hung out with people who believed in the same things you did.
If you were in radio or newspaper, your opinion was unleashed on the world if your manager allowed it.
Enter Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh with their right and left wing agendas.

If a person didn't have access to a radio microphone, and they called into a station, there was a gatekeeper.
The gatekeeper's responsibility was to keep crazies out.
If there was hate to distribute, a score to settle or an opinion without fact, the gatekeeper kept the person away from the masses.

Today, social media has given everyone a mass media microphone.
No gatekeeper.
No where to escape.
Just flimsy opinions flying around like paper airplanes.

We all have them.
I'm ok with that. I don't have to agree, and neither do you.
But when they are unleashed to create hate, fear, and anger, I have a problem.

I don't like where this world is heading.
I don't like internet trolls.
And I definitely don't like negative posts to build on hatred.

I spoke to a man from Pakistan yesterday who lived in the Kashmir region for 25 years.
He saw the devastations of hatred and is worried like me.

In 1963, there was an psychological experiment called The Milgram Experiment conducted at Yale.
The test was to see how far a person would go to obey orders from a superior.  The test subject was told to increase the voltage of shock on an actor in the other room for different reasons. With each increasing voltage, the actor pled for the shock to stop. In some cases the perceived shock was equal to a lethal dose and the test subject still obeyed his orders.

Professor Milgram wanted to understand why German soldiers could obey superiors to execute millions of prisoners during the Holocaust. I believe he discovered that humans want to conform their behaviour to be accepted by a group.

The actor in the Milgram experiment was in a different room and unseen by the test subject.
I also believe if the actor would have been seen, the test subject may not have gone as far.

It is my OPINION that as long as we don't SEE the pain of another person, we don't experience, care or understand what has been done.

If a childhood friend dies and you haven't seen her in years, you may be saddened. But you may not feel the pain the family feels if you don't see them in mourning.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to witness it, did it make a noise.
The logical answer is, "Of course".
My philosophical answer is, "No, because noise has to be heard to exist".

It is my OPINION that humanity is losing its way while guarded by a computer screen.  The pain is not seen, therefore doesn't exist on the other end of the internet.

Be careful what opinions you post online, your words have more power than you think.

The answers are easy if you know the right question.

There was magic recently at a coffeeshop in Moncton. I felt it. John saw it. No one else experienced...yet.

It's coming.

John is an entrepreneur. He bounced up and down his seat as he explained what he was trying to do. John is so hyper he probably should be on ritalin.  As he spoke, his voice intensified the more excited he got.  

I love watching entrepreneurs be passionate about their business. John is the most excited I've ever seen.

John is in the honeymoon of a new business and he's chomping to get started. He asked me for some advice on his logo, name and taglines.

I don't like giving advice on work already done because how do you tell someone their baby is ugly?

I've known John for 10 years, so I gave him an hour to vomit all his ideas on the table. 

An hour of listening to him talk about his new idea went by.  I couldn't get much of a word in as he kept cutting me off. 

As my time commitment was finishing up, I asked him my secret, magical question. 

His answer gave me goosebumps. I asked him to explain and as he did, he got off his chair. He was pacing around the coffeeshop. He looked like a madman who was either going to punch a wall or kiss the next girl who walked in.  

Stopping in mid pace, he looked at me and half asking he said, "I need to change the name of my proposed business"?

Yes John, you do.

But I've spent good money on business cards, name searches, and logos.

I understand. The money you've spent is peanuts compared to that you will spend on building your brand. The marketing you've already done is ok. But it's not going to get you noticed in a highly competitive market. This new idea will give you INSTANT recognition in your category. 

Is this the purple cow thingy you told me about?

Yes, Seth Godin defines a purple cow as a product or service that is remarkable. Your new idea is on the path of remarkability.

As we parted ways, I could see John bouncing to his car.  He turned and looked at me and said, "The answer was inside of me the whole time. You pulled it out. Why didn't I see it?"

As I walked by his car, I answered, "You didn't ask yourself the right question". 

Ideas built on a good marketing strategy fill me with bliss. I hope John follows through on our discussion. It will make me happy to see him succeed. He's one of the good guys.

 

Invisible wounds

Misunderstood.
It cuts deeply.
You only know it, if you've lived it.

A right of passage.
A voyage,
A journey,
Through the forest of fear, anger and uncertainty.

An attack on a vulnerability.
A pain, a darkness, and a void,
Silently humming for help
But not knowing the lyrics.

You can smell it.
Fear does that.
Ask the dog.
Where's the air freshener?
Even Febreeze cannot remove the foul odour.

It hurts.
It wreaks.
It howls in the night like a hungry wolf looking for its prey.

Relief is undeterminable.
Comfort is addiction.
Cure is death.
There are others, but death is easiest.

The flames of pain wait for the world to stop spinning out of control.

Tirelessly,
Sick.

Invisible wounds,
Misunderstood,
Unhealed.
Stick a bandaid over the open wound,
Smile and,
Hope for a better day.
You go on.

Don't pity me.
Don't worry about me.
Don't cry for me.

Mind your own business,
But can you gobble up my problems
And tell me it's going to be ok.

What do you expect?
The poet is tired.
The playwright is sick.
The actor is missing.
The director is drunk.
Yet the viewer is waiting for the show.

Smile.
The show must go on.
The stench is everywhere.
Only one lives it.
Unfortunately he is drunk, missing, sick and tired.

There's a light.
It's dim.
But it gets brighter
If you look long enough,
Through the clouds of uncertainty,
You can breathe.
One moment at a time.
Until the cut heals to a scar.
And becomes a distant memory in a world filled with fear, anger, uncertainty,
And love.

Check your mindset

My friend James is relentless with phrases like, "Check your mindset".
He is a pain in the ass when I'm not in the mood for his upbeat, positive frame of mind.
But he's right.

You have to know James to really appreciate him.
He's like Tony Robbins, only nobody knows him.
I called to ask his permission to right this blog.
He was in the middle of reading the biography of Ben Franklin. His next read is about the Roman Empire.

For work, he throws around criminals like I throw around my Grande Emperor's Cloud at Starbucks. James works as a prison guard. Surrounded by scammers, rapists, murderers, and drug addicts, James's daily work routine makes his brain work overtime as he balances egos, power struggle and dishonesty amongst both inmates and guards.
James keeps guard for potential danger and his own personal health.

For fun, he tortures his body with Crossfit and jujitsu.
If you look at him from behind, it looks like he swallowed a capital V for breakfast.
Mentally and physically, James embodies both aspects of health with fervour.
A positive mental frame of mind protects him from the toxicity of his job.
It also gets him to each new level he wants to achieve.

He's one of my dearest friends.
And he is one of my greatest inspirations.

Walking down a busy street, picking up my restaurant lawn signs, I looked to the heavens and asked where I could find money to complete a new business deal.

James appeared in my imagination and told me to check my mindset.
It's the first time he came to me like this.
I listened and did exactly as he had instructed.

Within one week, I had the money I requested.  Cheques mysteriously showed up in the mailbox.
Contracts were awarded that I hadn't applied for.

It took 5 days, but I had the amount I needed to complete my business purchase.

Excited and giggly, I recounted the story to my wife.
She told me I should have asked for more.
How did I miss that?
She was right.
I shortchanged this new power.
So, I did what felt right and doubled the number.

Everyday for two weeks, I informed the universe I needed the new amount.
This time I asked for six figures.
It took two weeks for the magic to spread like pixie dust in my direction.
Two weeks and another contract was handed to me for 60% of my ask.
The other 40% is on its way.
I KNOW its coming. Why would the magic stop now?
I've tapped into something with James's rules on mindset.

Insane...yes.
Improbable...yes.
Impossible...no.

Check your mindset.
Go find a friend like James.

If you have a "James" in your life, care for that relationship like you would care for your mother.
He's rare and precious.
He's your ticket to all your dreams to come.

Big league

"When he was a kid, he'd be up at five
Take shots till eight, make the thing drive
Out after school, back on ice
That was his life, he was gonna play in the big league"

These are the opening lyrics from the Tom Cochrane song, "Big League". 

It reminds us that some kids work hard building on their game to hopefully one day make it to the professional ranks.

These kids don't get paid for their games.

They don't get paid to practice the long hours it takes to get better.

They work, and practice and work and practice.

They get better but there is no guarantee they will ever make a penny on their hard effort.

The chances are slim that they will ever make a living playing their sport.

They do it for the joy.

Of course, they dream of what could be.

That's the human in them.

They may be too small, too big. 

They may be prone to injury or prone to poor choices.

The professional ranks only takes the best of the best.

These kids work hard to hope to one day be able to be one of them.

Professional sport teams don't place job ads looking for players.

The world is filled with talent.

Teams are looking for specifics.

Teams are looking for a spark, a drive, a desire that is different from all the others.
The difference between those selected and those thrown away is marginal.

There's no lack of choice.

Why do professional sport teams not place job ads for their athletes but you do?

Are there not people wanting a job in your industry?

Are there not people wanting to work for you?
Are there not people dreaming to do the work that you have to offer?

I believe the answer is "Of course, there are".
I also believe that if you haven't found them, it's because you haven't allowed yourself to be discovered by the "right" people.
And the reason for this lack of discovery is due to you not describing the right person in detail.

There are kids who want a chance. They are willing to put in the work. They have dreams too. They are willing to do whatever it takes to get to their next level. 

If they don't know about you, then they go elsewhere.

If they don't know about you, you lose.

You don't need an employee, you need people who will make a difference.

If you look for employees, you'll find them.

If you look for difference makers, funny enough, you find them too.

Go find the kid who has a dream and help him achieve it.

The only thing holding him back from you is you.

It's time to play in the Big League. 

Are you a Dreamer or a Realist?

A realist thinks about problems and applies conventional thought to determine if it is solvable or not.

A dreamer thinks about solutions and creates problems for conventional thought.
Dreamers are troublemakers.

They want to see change.
Status quo bores them.
To get a dreamer to keep his head out of the clouds is like keeping a cat from meowing at the bird on the front lawn.

Dreamers change the world.
Without them, the world remains in sameness.

Dreamers are unrealistic.
They see a world that does not exist, yet.
They imagine there is no heaven.
They build schools, companies, and countries.
They solve problems with man made flight, space travel, and nuclear physics.
They harness waves for sound, heat, and light.

Dreamers are ridiculed.
Each and every day, outside of their circle of dreamers, people point and snicker and don't understand why someone could be so unrealistic.
One day, the dreamer will be either poor and destitute OR rich and famous.
The dreamer doesn't do it for fame. Fame is a by-product of following the path of insanity toward achievement.
The person who does it for money or fame is not a dreamer. He is a realist disguised as a poser.
Posers and dreamers don't speak the same language.

Posers quit when someone achieves first.
Dreamers don't.
Dreamers want the world to be better for all dreamers and realists.

Are you a dreamer or a realist?

Do you work for money OR are you passionate about your craft no matter the pay?
Do you think about your craft WHEN you're not at work?
Do you take vacations to get away from your craft OR do you get away to get a new perspective of it?
Are you working on your dream OR simply dreaming while you work?

The Dreamer creates a new reality, while the realist lives in an old one.

I know which one I am. Do you?

You want growth, you need new friends

You opened a business and need customers.
Everything you own is put into this risky adventure.
You have decided this is where your opportunity in life lies.
So you risk money, ego, time, relationships, future opportunities and your own sanity to take it on.

You hear people telling you to put things on sale.
Sales drive traffic, right?
You know it works with your own purchase decisions, so it must be good advice.

Someone tells you to put a big red sign in the front window with 50% off.
Big discounts drives big traffic, right?
You've responded to those signs before so it must be a good thing to do.

Someone else tells you to mail out a flyer with discounts on them.
You've responded to flyers with discounts before.
So it must be good for business, right?

When a sale is made, business makes money, right?

Your business is in trouble.
You're focussing on the wrong customer.
Sales, discounts, flyers all work.
They drive traffic from a group of people who want to save money.

This type of sales traffic is not loyal.
They switch when you're not cheap.
They cheat on you when your competitor is cheaper.

You need customers who love your products for the same reasons that you love them.
There are people who behave the same way you do when it comes to your products.
They don't know about you, yet.
You have a marketing problem which is causing your sales problem.

The marketing tactic that focuses on discounts are "easy fixes" to your marketing problem. They are temporary, inconsistent drivers of sales traffic.

The job of marketing is to get into the customers head so that when the time is right, they walk through the door, click a button or pick up the phone.

HOW DO YOU GET INTO THEIR HEAD?

The answer is simple but never easy.
There are two ways to do it:

1. Be extremely clever. This takes creative genius but it doesn't last. The world gets bored of the cleverness and your ads are only as good as the last ones you created. Most major brands apply this technique and proceed to fire their creative geniuses every 3 to 4 years.
2. Say something that matters. This takes a lot of digging. It is an authentic voice, a true perspective and an accurate feeling of what your company is. Few brands apply this strategy but those that do ride it for decades as they climb to market leader in their categories.

Speak from the heart and you will find customers who want the same things you want. Speak to the right brain to get at a customer's emotional self. When you pull out an emotion, you will find your customers, who will become your business friends.

Here's why: Customers who believe in what you're saying are EXACTLY like you. Relationships are built on that premise. 

Go make some new friends.

Rick Nicholson is a partner of Wizard of Ads. He helps customers find their unique, authentic voice so they can grow their business. You can reach him at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com to see how he can help you.

The profitable customer is a relational one.

Imagine you're in the supermarket aisle and you have to choose a product among a mountain of choices that all do the same thing.

Two are highly recognizable brands.

The same two are perceived equal in their ability to get the job done.

They are not the same price.

Which one do you buy?

The simple answer is, it depends on the buyer and your motivations.

Yes, you read that right, I didn't say it depended on the product.

The product is relatively unimportant. 

It's the buyer that business needs to focus on.

There are two types of buyers: Transactional and Relational.

Transactional buyers will sacrifice their own young for a deal. They chase the cheapest price and will drive by 5 gas stations to save one cent per litre. They are proud of their buying bravado and brag to their friends about the beans they've saved.

Relational buyers do not price shop. When they need a product, price plays a role but it's a low factor on their decision to buy.

Relationships aren't held with commodities. 

Walmart visits aren't exciting shopping experiences. 

We run in, get what we need at a cheap price and get the heck out.  

Commodities are bought and sold based on price. 

That's what makes Walmart successful. 

Price is the only thing that matters in the decision process.

The cheapest product wins.

The transactional shopper gets excited.

Everyone is happy.

Except the relational shopper.

Walmart closed 236 stores in 2016. 

Transactional shoppers are cheating on Walmart in search for cheaper options online.

Walmart doesn't have relational buyers.

Relationships are harder to break. 

The relational shopper accepts the devil she knows. 

The fear of changing brands is greater than a perceived benefit elsewhere. 

One of the reasons it's so hard to launch a start up business is relational customers already have their place.

Convincing them to try your product is easy. Most people are curious enough to try anything once.

Convincing them to switch their buying habits is like tearing off a finger.

They don't quit their current relationship unless they aren't getting what they want from them.

I know a business that guarantees to save its business customers upwards of $50,000 per year. 

Surprisingly, they don't have that many customers.

The transactional customers spend all day saving money and don't think anyone can do a better job than they are already doing.

The relational customers are happy with the level of service, the camaraderie of the sales rep and the value proposition currently being provided. Going golfing with their sales rep and getting a free trip to Mexico in March has more value to them than $50,000 per year. 

The relational customer won't switch until the current provider pisses them off. 

The relational customer doesn't believe the claims about the amount of money on the table.
The relational customer is married to other suppliers and does not accept a simple claim of money saving.
Remember it's not about the money for relational customers.

The relational customer is the best customer to have.

To get them, stop talking to them about savings.
Go after their heart.
Don't talk to them about savings.
Take them out for a date.
Get to know them.
Show them a good time.
Get them to like you.
Get them to feel what a relationship with you COULD be.

Create a feeling and you have a half chance to pull in the relational buyer.
And get ready for the angry divorced supplier to try to pull them back, with prices, incentives, and eye candy.

Reach a transactional buyer with prices.
Connect with a relational buyer with belief.

Conventional thought

You want to do something different than what you've been doing.
It's a bit risky.
Your first thought is to see what others have done.
What others have tried.
Where others have failed.
So you won't.

We've been taught that failure is a bad word.
No one should strive for failure.
It means you have to repeat the lesson.
It means you have to start from scratch.
It means you're not moving forward in a world that is whizzing you by.

Failure is NOT a bad word.
It's a reset.
It's a lesson.
It's a teaching opportunity.
If you pay attention.

Your homework in learning what others have done, succeeded or failed is only part of an answer still uncovered.

Where others have succeeded becomes conventional thought.
It becomes common.
It becomes what you believe to be the "KNOWN".

If you've had a baby, you remember the minute you understood your baby's whimpers and whines is the day the baby changes his routine. When you get used to waking up for 3am feedings is the night the baby sleeps through the night.

Robin Williams character is Dead Poet's Society says it best.

"Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way. Even though it may seem silly or wrong, you must try."

Conventional thought has been proven wrong many times.

Conventional thought says there is no one dependable in the workforce who wants to work for minimum wage so you have to inport labour from others countries.
Not true, if you can't find the right people, check your job ad and your management style. People is not the problem, you and your ad are. You're attracting the wrong people.

Conventional thought says you need money to make money.
Not true. You need customers to make money. You need a great product to make customers. You need hard work, persistence and innovative thinking to make a great product. And you need to be a bit insane to even start.

Conventional thought says money doesn't grow on trees.
Isn't money really paper, made from ummm trees?

Conventional thought says you need to go to school, get good grades, get a job so you can retire.
Zuckerberg, Jobs, and Gates are just a few smart people who never finished university. I know kids making millions with barely a high school diploma.

Conventional thought isn't all bad.
It's the safe route.
It's the one with the fewest obstacles.
If you don't have the guts, conventional thought is your best bet.
But don't expect too much from it.
When a path has been beaten down to the dirt, the greatest riches are removed by previous travellers.
The greater the safety, the lesser the opportunity.

The road less travelled is not safe.
It may lead to a dead end.
It will be interesting, exciting and dangerous.
However, if you can come out the other end, still in tact, you will find your riches.

Jump on a desk.
Look at things from a different perspective.
Ask a child what he thinks. They will surprise you with their innocent view of the world.
Talk to a homeless man.
Don't do what everyone else has done before you.
It's been done. The garden has been picked.
There's not much left for you.

The wild pastures are waiting for you to discover them.
If you're willing to get past some of your conventional thoughts.

Insane in the brain

I watched a community of ants scream as I guided three simultaneous blades of tornado terror over their city. 

I wonder if their gods predicted my devastation.

It's fairly predictable from my perspective. 10 times per year, the tornado rolls in and kills countless citizens of three neighboring towns of Anthill, Antville and Antopolis. And every time, the town is rebuilt and ready for the next "natural" disaster.

The definition of crazy is "mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild, aggressive way".

Insanity is defined as "extremely foolish; irrational or illogical".

By definition, I'm not crazy, but it looks like I'm insane.

Illogical is a series of steps that no one has yet defined as being real.

But someone has to be first.

Someone has to be illogical in thought before logic can be accepted.

Most un-normal behaviours start out as unacceptable until there's a tipping point.

That tipping point is about 16%.

Once 16% of a population accept a behaviour as being acceptable, then it is no longer considered wrong, illogical or insane.

But if you're alone in thought, opinion or theory, without 16% of the people in agreement, then you're insane.

Just like me.

Tattoos were taboo until 15 year old girls started inking cute butterflies on their ankles and 40 year old men started getting sleeves to show how bad-ass they were.

Nose rings, thongs, mohawks, thoughts, opinions are now readily accepted as you celebrate individualism, self expression, and personal freedom.

Everything is illogical until it is proven to be.

Everything is weird until is accepted to be normal.

Everything is off, until 16% of the population accepts it to be ok.

Time might not be linear.

Life might not be what you think it is.

What if your world does not end in death?

What if your life is nothing more than death, while you wait to live?

Perspective is as magical for us as it is for the dirt building colonists in our backyards.

I'm insane in the membrane...

Are Brain Orgasms real or part of a dream?

Is a dream a deluge from reality?  That question came to me in meditation.

I've never written the word “deluge” before. I didn't know what it meant. It sounded right in my head so I looked it up.

It’s a perfect word. It means to wash away. 
How did I know that? 

And why did I put those random words to thought in a soulful journey?

As most irreconcilable questions, the answer is, “I don’t know”.

Meditation is an interesting voyage going to nowhere and everywhere in the same moment. With each passing second, while quieting the mind, there is lots of traffic. 
Thought traffic!!!
Traffic sucks. You never seem to get where you need to when there’s so much whizzing around.

In my meditations, I have experiences embraced with clues. 

The first time, it was weird, but I allowed it to enter my vortex. 
Before I could get to where I wanted to go, It ended. 
I couldn’t get it back.

The harder I tried to search, the less luck I had. 
I've learned you can't chase the clues in mediation.
They have to come to you.

It doesn't come when I force it.
It shows up when I don't expect it.
The experience is magical. It's a tingle that starts at the head and works its way down my spine and takes over my whole body.
This tingle happens outside of mediation too, but it's more pronounced when I'm completely relaxed.

If I think about my grandma, the tingle can appear.
As I write this line, the "spider senses" are activating again. 

I believe, clues can come from the simplest of places, when we are open to receive them.

I identify my clues when my "tingly" senses act up.

It’s more exhilarating than sex, more fulfilling than love and more rewarding than a mother’s kind word. 
It’s addictive. 
I search for it to puncture my skin each time I journey into the black hole of meditation. 

Sometimes I wonder if there are real clues in mediation or if my mind is racing in the morning traffic to get to work.

The sensation is so incredible, I've whispered “Wow” out loud a few times. 
There is no fear, no worry. 
I feel love in the moment and at the same time I feel nothing. 

It’s a comfortable numb. 
It's a shot of rum.
It's a pat on the head.
It's a cuddled embrace.
It's a kind word.
It's a rush of adrenaline.
Yet, it's not real.
Except in my mind.

When the feeling comes, 
My worries exit stage left. 
My fears skydive away. 
The feeling is like a current of electricity pulsating through my body. 

"Tingle" is the best way to describe the feeling. It's the same feeling that makes the hair on your arms stick up but in a good way. 

I've noticed this phenomena in my body for the last 3 years. As I was writing about my experience, I googled it and found that I'm not the only one with this sensation.

It's called AMSR: Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's been referred to as a brain orgasm.

I feel better for having experienced it.
And crave it more, just like an addiction.

I wonder if my life is a dream or my dream is a life.

I wonder if my reality is a theme park for spirits to enjoy bad things like fear, overindulgence, and death.
I wonder why these feelings come to me at very specific times, as if to carry a clue to the mystery of my life.

There is a connection in meditation land. Although some senses like hearing can't pick up the drone of the air conditioner, it picks up my own voice saying, "wow". 

And when I'm done searching for my clues and the feeling has passed, I open my eyes, feeling like I've been transported from a place where Time has no meaning to where Time is a thief.

Time is like a race.

You treat Time like it's a race.
You live and then you die.
And while you live, you try to survive.
And while you survive, you try to strive.
And while you try to strive, you try to thrive.
And while you try to thrive, you're wishing to die.
Death comes to you when no one is looking.
And the race against Time becomes the race
to nowhere...

I am out of time.
I don't have enough time.
If I only had more time.
Time cannot be owned.
It is a figment of our imagination.
We invented Time to give life context.

The porcupine does not have a clock.
The squirrel does not invest for retirement.
The shark does not need an alarm to get ready for his day.

Humans treat Time like it's linear.
It's 2017, in 365 Earth rotations, it will be 2018.
Time is not linear. It's cyclical.
Just like a NASCAR race.

Oh Look! Another left turn.
Four turns and you're back to where we started.
Four turns takes a lifetime.
Four turns and you're dead.
While you pass the baton to the next driver.

It's been proven by generational theorists that it takes 4 generations to return to the same position as their great grandparents.
A generation is considered to be about 20 years.
Average life expectancy for humans is a bit more than 80 years.
4 turns, 4 generations, 1 life.

You race your life living for tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
But Tomorrow does not exist.
In 24 hours, Tomorrow will be Today.
And Tomorrow will always be 24 hours a way.
Around the next turn.
Never to be seen, but wished upon continuously.
There's only Today.

You have one life.
You have no Tomorrows.
Only Today.

So while you race your life around the track, what turn are you in?
You only have 4.
Don't wish for the next turn, it could be your home stretch.
Once you cross the finish line, there's no do-over.

Love actually...

You were loved the moment I saw you.
Immediate, instantaneous, cosmic.
You touched my finger.
I touched back.
Magic in one moment when our eyes hurried to the same place.

Years have past,
It seems like a breath ago.

I take you for granted,
Although I've always said I loved you.
I didn't know its meaning,
Until I almost lost you.

Tears clouded my vision,
Fear crowded my thoughts,
Worry about what was, could never be again.
All the things I never thought of,
Made me realize how fragile we really are,

You ain't superhuman,
No matter how strong you look.
You ain't invincible,
No matter how healthy you eat.
You ain't unbeatable,
No matter how fit you be.
You are human,
So am I.
We are mortal.
We must die.

But until that time, when our fingers will not touch,
I hold dear the moment that we loved, lived, and laughed.
And hope that our fingers will touch forever,
Even though I know that it cannot be.

But I will love you for ever,
As I promised the day I first touched your finger,
Forever being a day, a week, a month, a year.
I will love you for what ever it shall be.
And what ever shall come.

For you are my child, my friend, my son.
And I am your child, your friend, your son.