Having attended Magical Worlds Workshop at Wizard Academy in Austin, Texas, we were encouraged to start writing daily. I figured the best way to get my thoughts down was to start a daily blog. So here it goes...
Today I think I’m stupid. Maybe stupid is the wrong word.
Maybe the word should be unaware.
Wait a minute, isn’t being unaware kinda like
being ignorant. So then I said it right: I’m stupid. Is it possible that I’m
stupider than I was yesterday?
There was a time when I thought I got smarter
each day. That day ended on November 5. Ignorance is
bliss? Hell no, ignorance is painful. When I don’t kiss my children to let them
know I love them every morning, what have I done? When I don’t appreciate my
wife for being my best friend even when I didn’t think I had any best friends –
that’s painful especially if she ever leaves me.
I sit here crying while I
write, wiping the snot away on my sleeve, not wanting to be stupid. I’ve always
wanted to be smart. My quest for intelligence drove me closer to stupidity. I think EGO
drives stupidity. So the first step to awareness is removing the damn bastard
off my shoulder and throwing him into the fire, like the devil that he is. Is
humbility the ultimate approach to awareness? I don’t know, but that’s where I
will begin my new journey.
I often ask myself the question. Am I afraid to die?
Why death? Mortality speaking, isn’t death the ultimate end
game.
After this morning, I believe I’m asking the
wrong question. What is the right question? Well that I don’t know because I’m
stupid. Today, I’m going to start asking myself a new question:
Am I
ready to face God?
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