How are you?

I'm amazed at these three words that start off everyday conversations. How are you? Does anyone really care when they ask the words? And does most care what the answer is going to be?

In certain context, I have genuinely asked someone I hadn't seen in a long time, "How are you" or aka "What's up". It's such a general question that could take hours to answer. Yet in looking for a quick answer, the question and answer have very little meaning

Answer the phone, door, check email, or facebook and I'm sure you'll get at least one cliche HAY (how are you) per day. Most people that ask me this question couldn't care less how I am. They use these words as a bridge to the real reason they contacted me.

As the question gets thrown around like a clean pair of jeans at a frat house, the answer to the question has become as unremarkable as its predecessor.

Yesterday at the grocery store, I watched an interaction between two people that I see on a daily basis. Two women approached each other. As they got closer, one asked the other how she was. The second woman, never slowed down, never made significant eye contact, and did not seemingly care. Her response was "fine", followed quickly by a "and how are you" response. The second woman had already passed by her inquisitor. It was so contrived, I almost started laughing.

There was a time when I used to answer the question honestly. Once I realized this was a systematic, almost rhetorical question, I changed my answer to a systematic answer. Guess what happened?

I started getting a legitimate response from a few. I could feel some interrogator's break out of their cliche shell and their true personality would emerge.  

My answer was a series of five different words: Perfect, Awesome, Amazing, Unbelievable, Fantastic.

I made the answer as automatic as the question. My initial thought was no one cares, so I should use strong, positive answers that could at least help me feel more positive.

It worked! My days got better and better.

The drones who have a hard time getting through another workday, never noticed and continued the conversation with whatever their true intent was to be begin with.