Yes or no or maybe

There are typically three answers to a closed ended question - yes, no or maybe.

If you're looking for an answer to something, using the closed ended question may not be your best approach unless you know how to get people to make a decision. When I was growing up, my parents always said "maybe". We quickly picked up the non committal forces and would ask "maybe-yes or maybe-no". We wanted a yes. If our parents couldn't commit to a yes, we wanted them at least leaning toward the yes.

Research shows that most don't like saying no. They may reject the idea, but they don't want to reject the person presenting the idea. We don't want to hurt people's feelings. We don't like hearing "no", so we don't like saying either.

Unless the interrogator is being an asshole, what do we say instead? We deflect, just like my parents did, by saying, "let me think about it", which is in effect a "maybe".

Maybes suck. In most cases, they are just a "no" disguised as a potential "yes".

In my limited sales training, I've learnt that maybes are not an acceptable response. In any sales scenario, we ultimately need a yes or a no.

The best stuff I learn comes from my kids. This morning, my daughter asked me to buy her a movie for the twenty second time. I've told her no 21 times prior to today. She refuses to accept a no response. Today, she replied, "I'm tired of hearing a no, give me a different answer that's not no or maybe". I never said maybe before so I immediately questioned the problem with a maybe.

In her eight year old wisdom, she asserts "Maybes are for babies".

She is absolutely right. I love it.

If someone asks you a question that requires a yes or no, don't be baby. Be honest enough with yourself and the other person to give a "yes" or "no" answer.

Remember, a "no" answer is a salesperson's second favourite word.