But if you're nice enough, you can bribe what you need....
I had a large item delivered to my house today. The delivery contract was clear- curb side delivery.
The driver told me that since we were nice, he could haul it the extra 100 metres to the house.
Once he got it to the house, I asked him if I gave him a couple of dollars if he could bring it directly to its location. No questions asked, he was happy to drop it off at its final resting place. He's richer, I'm happy. I didn't need to call a favour from a friend.
Good old underground economy still works like a charm. Thank you paper money. I'm glad you still exist.
The title character in Charles Dickens famous novel "Oliver Twist" was still hungry and wanted a second helping of food.
I am constantly hungry for more. Not the materialistic more. I want more education, more love, more compassion, more cooperation, and even more service. In this poor service society, we could all use a bit more.
A call was made to a government agency on Tuesday morning. I got a call back Wednesday morning. Without a phone number, I had to phone the call centre for a second time. I left my phone number and got a second return call back this morning. Not able to answer at the time of the call, again no phone number to return the call, I will have to go through a call centre again. How many times will I do this before I give up completely?
Today I visited three different hardware stores looking for help. The customer service at all three can not be considered bad. Is the new acceptable standard just not to be bad?
Here's what happened. The first store has locations throughout the world. They are huge. I asked where I could find my desired product. The man dressed in orange pointed me in the right direction barely stopping his step as he walked in the opposite direction. When I found my prize, I waited 15 minutes for someone else to come along to help me out further. No one did. Even though I was ready to buy that product, I left the store empty handed.
The second store is a regional organization. Not as big as the first, usually better priced, it's usually where I go. I knew where to find my prize this time so there was no need to ask for directions. There was a salesperson close by. He was very helpful and pointed out that I could actually buy a partial box instead of a full box. Nice touch I thought. I was also looking for a second item and he told me they didn't carry that product line. Imagine my dismay as I exited the store when I came across the supposed section that did not exist. The service at the second store was much better than the first store. But the fact the salesperson wasn't knowledgeable enough to help me complete my purchases, I left unhappy again.
I went on to the third store. This store is a part of a franchise network. It is national in scope but locally owned and operated. As I was browsing the section of my desire, a salesman approached and asked if I needed help. Upon informing him of my desired prize, he immediately told me that they didn't carry the product in store, but maybe they had it on-line. He spent the next 5 minutes browsing his inventory list trying to find a match for my search. While I waited for those 5 minutes I felt someone was actually knowledgeable, friendly, and trying to take care of me.. I observed similar interactions between other customers with the sales staff. The conversations were not just friendly they were almost family-like.
The third store was the best of the three. It's the smallest of the three. It's the more expensive of the three. It also has the most inconvenient location of the three. But if this is the type of service I get the next time I need something, they will win a loyal customer.
I shouldn't have to ask for more. As a store owner, you need to know we are service deprived... But if you give me more service, I'll return that with more business.
If someone were to ask you who you are, what would you say?
Would you say your name?
Would you describe the job that you perform or your job title?
Would talk about being a loving parent or a loyal spouse?
Would you talk about your community involvement?
Would you try to describe yourself by including age, gender, or maybe sexual orientation?
All these answers are considered labels. We use labels as identification with self? Labels are used to support our egos. They're all fake.
What if you weren't allowed to use a label to describe who you are. What would you say then?
This is the type of stuff I think about.
Be brave. Message me with an answer to the question without using a label and I'll share who I think I am.
Life passes by like a speeding schoolbus. One minute, we're unable to walk, talk, or fend for ourselves. The next minute it's over.
Life happens when we are making other plans. Birthday parties, social gatherings, vacations, or even the weekends, there's always a future event that needs attention today.
Today is all we got. There's no guarantee there's a tomorrow. We assume it will be there. It's always been there for us before. The assumption has always proven correct. For this, we believe it as truth. Yet, one day, the assumption will prove false. And on that day, it will be too late to change.
Don't think about it. Just feel it.
Don't over-analyze the morning sunshine. Feel the sweet taste of it.
Don't think about playing with your kids. Feel the happiness of being with people you love and love you back.
Don't worry about what you don't have. Celebrate what you do have.
Today is just about gone. Was it the best day of your life?
Do yourself a favour. Take 80 years and multiply if by 365 days/ year. The approximate number of days you will live is 29207. Then take your age and multiply by the same 365. Take the second number and subtract it from 29207. That's about how many days you have left to live. Or maybe today was the last one. No one knows for sure.
Isn't it time we start living for today. Tick tock. Time is not on our side.
A friend asked me to have breakfast with a political candidate. Within five minutes, it was clear time was being wasted.
The candidate didn't get it. He could spew numbers and statistics. He understood the political landscape. He had four things he was supporting. He was trying to figure out tactics for his campaign. He wanted great ideas that would propel him to a win. His ideas including giving away coffee mugs, and using signage.
Excuse me while I yawn. He was so boring, I almost fell asleep. He has no chance of winning with that mindset.
Here's what I told him. Political campaigns were run like high school popularity contests. The person that was the best known gets elected. Or the person that was second best known wins because everyone was upset with the incumbent. If it's a popularity contest, then its a branding problem.
I don't understand politics. Branding is my baby...
According to Karen Post, a brand is a story embedded in the mind of the market. So if you want to be properly branded, you start by telling stories that are remarkable. Stories get shared. Remarkability initiates memorability. Memorability creates top of mind awareness. Top of mind awareness generates popularity. The equation is easy. He/she who is best branded, wins in both business and politics.
The problem with most people is they don't have the guts to step out of their comfort zone to be remarkable. My advice to this candidate was to stay in the muddy middle. We don't need another gutless politician. We have enough of them already.
Oh vile raven with menacing dark eyes that have no soul. Breath like a glass of milk left on the counter for 4 days. You try to beat me. I do everything I can. I will not lose to such an insolent piece of organic death. I must keep going on.
You have hurt many loved ones along your path of destruction and defiance. I refuse to be one of your victims. Drugs delay the pain. I lay and I sleep. I sleep and I lay. Nothing seems to remove me from your morbid clutches. I will prosper. It hurts to move. It hurts to breathe. Cough causes nerves to explode in the forehead, upper back and in the legs.
Wretched beast, you are sinister. With every passing day, I'm either getting accustomed to your hold or I'm getting better. My soldiers are strong. There have been many casualties, but we are moving forward. Tonight, the general has asked the special forces to put a stranglehold on your demonic influence once and for all. The Captain has accepted the mission. Soldiers sleep, she will fight this one alone.
Mecca is a city in Saudia Arabia in which the Muslim prophet Mohammed was born. As part of the Muslim faith, every true believer makes a pilgrimage to Mecca. The Christians and the Hebrews have Soloman's wall in Jerusalem.
My pilgrimage was just before my 37th birthday. It was the first time I saw the real Mickey Mouse. Disney World is a magical experience that brought everything from my dreams to life.
My whole life I had friends who told me about the shows, the sights and the sounds. I grew up with the Magical World of Disney every Sunday night on CBC. The TV shows, the movies, the characters, and the cartoons made this place my mecca for 30 plus years.
We were told that the kids would enjoy themselves once they reached 3 and 4. We booked 10 days, stayed at one of the Disney resorts and shuttled back and forth to the four different parks.
The first day we spent at Magic Kingdom. Rightfully named, the first thing you notice is Cinderella's castle right slap dab in the middle of the park.
I was excited. I had to see everything. My kids were so young. They were lucky. They were witnessing things that I had waited half my life to see. My wife literally had three kids on her hands. It was so great that we made the same pilgrimage a second time the next year.
The last trip was three years ago. I have friends who visit Mickey every year. Now that's a religious passage.
The happiest place on Earth is paradise. It is commercialized to the hilt. But I can overlook that because the positive traits far outweigh a bit of capitalism.
Thanks to a cartoonist who was a dreamer, and a little black and white mouse, we can have happiness for a couple of fleeting days. Happiness comes at a price. But it is worth it.
Spring cleaning time is here again. Out with the crap we no longer use. My job is the outside stuff. Aline's got the inside crap. I prefer my job.
Open the pool. Put the summer tires on both cars. Clean the flower beds. Trim the trees. Fix the roof. Clean the garage. Pressure wash the driveway. Vacuum the glass from the shattered patio table. Set up the trampoline. I could go on but you get the point. There's a lot to do, and I haven't started thinking about the garden yet.
It's days like this one that I avoided for seven years. People use to caution me that working 6 days per week wasn't healthy. Ever since I sold the business I still work six days per week. None of them pay very well.
The one thing which I did look forward to is the burning of the bush. After we trimmed the trees, we had a massive bonfire in the back yard. At first, smoked rolled off the green branches like mercury in a broken thermometer. Then a flame emerged. A single flame that creeped ever higher in that mound of wood, as it tried to touch the sun. Then a second flame was born, cracking its shell of smoke. In no time, the flames rejoiced into my personal towering inferno.
I sat in silence for three hours, tending the flickering ballet. It was therapeutic listening to the whisper of the creek, the dancing lights and the singing robins.
50 years ago, in any small town you could find a general store. Walmart revolutionized retailing efficiency. They compete on price. They expanded markets. If your market got a Walmart, it meant you were special. Some markets rejected the opportunity for a Walmart rationalizing that it would hurt their economy. I understand the thinking behind such decisions. The community has concern for the local operators worrying about culture and the local economy.
Walmart promises jobs. Not high-paying jobs but jobs nonetheless. Jobs are the key to stimulation in any economy. Walmart opens up and within a few years all the small competitors close their doors. Does the economy improve or deteriorate? Profits are moved out of the region into Walmart's bank account. Yet jobs are created.
Here's the interesting thing. We no longer need Walmart for retailing. With more more people having access to the Internet, the access to online retailing can get you anything you ever wanted online. No worries about transportation, it will be delivered to your door. The prices are usually lower due to a lack of overhead costs like rent. If you shop online you save money. Everyone loves to save money.
I recently bought a hot tub on-line. The price of the hot tub was $3000 cheaper than any other hot tub I could find in the local community. Because I bought it through Costco.ca I'm very confident the warranty will be respected by the amazing retailer by the same name.
Here are the problems with spending money an on-line retailer. The economy is stimulated through job creation and the recycling of money. When you buy something online money leaves your community and it doesn't come back. It may be cheaper. With every positive, there is a negative. You save money, but you're neighbor may lose his job, which means he doesn't support your company anymore. Enough of this stuff going on and you're out of a job.
Buying cheap stuff on-line is a short term gain. We all lose eventually, unless we play the same game.
Most of us don't, so we have a problem.
I wonder about my kids future. I wonder what the world will look like without these retailers. We are in the information age. The greatest commodity isn't energy. It isn't food.
The greatest commodity in this new age is knowledge. The phrase, "Knowledge is power" has never been so accurate as it is right now.
Responsibility is a difficult characteristic to teach. I notice my kids playing the blame game constantly.
It's not my fault. She started it. The teacher is to blame. I couldn't listen because there was too much distraction. The dog is the problem.
Then the best yet,
I'm tired because I couldn't sleep in. I have to go to school.
This thinking is the result of a fixed mindset. My kids blame everyone and everything else for the consequences of their own actions.
In trying to teach my daughter about responsibility, I explained that every time she points the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at her. The little bugger opened her hand and motioned toward her brother. She responded by saying, now all the responsibility is on him. Problem solved.
Remember the Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding figure skating debacle of 1994. As part of ESPN's 30 on 30 series, they reviewed all of the events, with current interviews from Harding and other people involved with both athletes. It showed Harding as the trailer park trash and Kerrigan as the ice princess. What was the most shocking was that Harding has never taken any responsibility for anything that has happened to her. She was hated by the US Olympic Committee. The media wouldn't leave her alone. She didn't get enough sleep the night before the Olympic competition. Her skate lace broke and she lost her focus. Her estranged husband was pointing the finger at her for the assault on her teammate. It went on and on.
How sad is it that someone who was one of the best in the world does not believe that she was the problem?
I see it a lot. People, organizations, governments and nations who blame others for their woes. When in fact, if they looked at their own policies and actions, they would find the solution to the problem.
Shit happens. It's how we deal with it that makes us better for it. Forget about what others did. You can't control others. You can only control yourself.
Analyze what you did wrong. Look at what you could have done better. Learn from your tragedies. The greatest tragedy is not learning from your mistakes.
Take responsibility for your life. The next time you feel like using an excuse, be honest with yourself and with the person you're talking to.
You'll find the roses smell better, the sugar tastes sweeter and the sounds activate your soul.
My wife and I have let our kids play around on the computer since they were about 4 years old. Always supervised, we limited their exposure to the harsh outside world. As we try to protect our youngins, they venture further and further from our nest.
We've been spying on them waiting for the first visit to a site that wasn't appropriate content. Today we found our chicks on a site marketing toward their age bracket. Yet the content and interaction is not right for any child. Concerned for our children's well being, I logged onto the site using my son's profile. I was able to have conversations with supposed other kids his age. The conversation sent back my way was too sexual for me and most definitely for my kids.
I proceeded to Google what other parents were saying about this website. None of it was good. As of today, my computer is blocking this site. Worst part of the whole story, my kids were given permission at school to log onto it.
Moviestarplanet may have been set up for young kids to socialize using avatars and games. It is nothing more than a chat room where kids no longer act like kids.
There have been two times in my life where I felt beat up, picked on, and most definitely powerless. I'm a confident person. But these moments in my history were not reality. They was perceptions, feelings, fantasyland.
In one situation, every time I saw my tormentor, I could feel my heart beating faster. I had an uncontrollable urge to shake. I was nervous, scared, frustrated and most definitely angry. All these emotions combined put me in a weak state. The bully had power and he used it to his advantage.
The object of my emotional demise stood about 6 foot 4. He was a giant that towered over me each time we crossed paths. The day he lost his power over me, he stood about 5 foot 6. How was it that I saw him so much taller than me and now he was shorter? My brain tricked me twice. He is about an inch taller than me at 5 foot 10.
Is it possible that everything we see is not reality? It is our perception of things, hence we make it our reality. If this is true, then there's no such thing as reality. We all live in our own dream world.
Take your dominant hand. Open it up so all five fingers are outstretched and not touching. Focus on it for a couple of minutes. Don't move. Focus on it intensely. The hand no longer feels like it's part of you. If you really focus on it, the fingers start to blur and you start to sense energy between your fingers.
One of my biggest fears in life is what others think of me. It's been an ongoing struggle for years. I dress a certain way. I use the right language. I drive the right car. I own the right house. It's f'ing tiring. A person cannot keep postering so that others view them a certain way.
I bought a nice home. Immediately thereafter I had to go into damage control. What will people think when they see what I've bought? They'll think I'm rich. They'll think I have more money than I actually have. I didn't buy the house for everyone else. I bought it for me, my wife and the kids. I am a far cry away from the kid that shared a bedroom with his sister in a mini-home.
I could discuss into how cheap I got the property, but no one will hear me. I could tell you about all the problems with the house before I bought it, and no one will care. I could tell you about the perfect storm that was created for us to buy our dream home, and it won't matter.
Ultimately, I have tried to downplay the purchase. I'm not rich monetarily. I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks about me and my family. But I do. And it's this thinking that forces me to react the way that I do. It's this mentality that bothers me.
I've been unemployed for 6 months. Actually unemployed is an incorrect term. I'm out of the labour force because I don't qualify for employment insurance. Yet we strive. Bills are paid, purchases are made, and ultimately everyone is happy.
One of my friends was recently confronted by her peers about a self administered shortened workweek. She was obviously distressed about the reaction of others regarding her situation. I know where she's coming from. My wife has worked outside of the home 4 days per week for 6 years. She works enough at home to take care of us all to make up the other 3 days. I admire her courage and her tenacity.
I try really hard not to care what others think of me. It's too much energy focused in the wrong direction. The haters that don't understand don't matter.
My life is mine. No one cared about me as a child except my family. If you're trying to build yourself up, leave me alone, 'cause I'm not gonna listen anyways.
Who teaches us how to raise kids? Don't we take the best stuff we were taught from our parents and try to leave the crappy stuff behind, in hopes we are a bit better at it than the people who raised us?
Some read books, take parenting courses, and go to self help seminars. Ultimately we try to raise our kids the best way we know how. Anyone who has more than one child will know that each is very different. The same strategies that worked on one will probably not work on the other.
I asked my parents how they graded themselves as parents. They said that all they wanted for us was to get an education, stay out of trouble, and to be happy. They were very proud of their children, which meant they felt they did a good job as parents. Who can argue with that?
I didn't have the perfect childhood. I wasn't the greatest son. But the skills my parents instilled in me have come through as an adult.
Now I'm the parent. There's always crisis management in my house, an inability to get along, an argument over a toy, the TV or the computer. Sometimes I feel our house is a jungle. Yet, I talk to other parents and it seems that every house is in chaos. We go out in public, we put on the brave face and hope our kids act more like angels than the devils they are at home.
Funny enough, they usually behave exceptionally well in public. There were a couple of temper tantrums at Walmart that will remain with me forever. Walking out of a store in front of a couple of hundred people with one kid towed by the hand and the other screaming in a cart is an unforgettable memory. Yet, we leave them with a babysitter or a grandparent for a few hours and we're always shocked to hear that they acted like angels while we were gone. There's always doubt that the babysitter may be lying to us. Do our children have dual personalities?
Kids know how to push the right buttons at the worst time. Yesterday, I watched a parent in a situation with her child at the gas station. The public demonstration was upsetting. The child obviously did something she wasn't supposed to. We've all been there. But the public berating of a 3 year old was too much. The mother screamed at her child for more than two minutes in front of all the patrons of the store. You could bust the tension with a needle. I felt bad for the child as tears rolled down her face. She was too young to understand that she had been publicly humiliated by her own mother. Who am I to judge? We do the best we can with what we know.
Every day presents a new set of challenges in the child rearing department. One night my mom said, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it".
It's amazing more parents don't go crazy raising these monsters. The buggers can be the greatest source of joy and the best destructors of it within a few minutes. I think the key is to stay one step ahead of them. They think we're stupid. That's our competitive advantage...
I was 13 years old. My mom was gone to bingo. My dad was watching TV and he asked me to get him a beer out of the fridge. Not feeling any pain, he asked me if I wanted one. I had never had a whole one to myself before. I've stolen a swig from my parents when they weren't watching. This was going to be different. A whole beer for myself. My dad was nudging me into manhood.
The first taste was terrible. It kinda stung and fizzled like pop. But it wasn't as sweet as pop. Manly as I felt, I went to the bathroom. Thought I was gonna be sick. Instead I pretended to be sick and poured the girl dressed in Labatt Blue down the bathroom sink.
It was three years before I met this fine lady again. She was dancing with five other girls. This time her dress said Moosehead Premium Dry. Me and a friend went on a double date with these six women. Again the taste was terrible. I had to plug my nose while I downed it. Even though I only kissed three girls, I felt great. It was a feeling never experienced before.
These dates went on for a few months. Thinking too much of a good thing doesn't exist, I cheating on my girls and went on a date with their cousin. She was a doctor. Her name was Peach Schnapps. That was just a shit show. First and last time I ever spent any time with that bitch. She had a friend that was just as nasty, Mo Whiskey. That woman got me in so much trouble, I refuse to even look her way when she stares at me.
So back to the dancing girls I went. After a while I didn't want to share my 6 girlfriends with my buddy. He had to get his own gals. With more experience, 6 girls couldn't keep up. I started flying closer to the sun, and asked the girls to bring 6 more friends. Again reaching a new milestone in my manhood, I could stand up to 12 menacing monsters, each one getting meaner as their other friends joined the party in my belly.
Nevertheless, as I got older there was less space in my fridge for them, so I left the girls a few years ago. They weren't good for me. I still like to dance, but I only mess around with military and royalty. One's a Captain. You probably know her, last name Morgan.
In the critically acclaimed movie, Love Story, there is a line that states, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Anyone who's been in a loving relationship knows that's a load of crap. It's exactly this type of line that gets the girl inside all of us to well up with tears and gets us emotionally on board with the sappy Hollywood train. The reality is that apologizing for a wrong doing demonstrates that you care enough for another person to ask for forgiveness.
One could change the line completely 180 degrees and say, "Love means always having to say you're sorry". That might be a bit closer to the truth. If you're not asking for forgiveness, you're either a saint or you don't care enough about the person you've hurt.
I like a different variation of the definition of love that was popularized by a hit song in the movie, "Night at the Roxbury". Haddaway's song "What is love?" makes me smile as I see the two main characters foolishly bop their heads to the beat of the technotronic bass.
Let's look of the lyrics to the chorus.
What is love Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more What is love? Baby, don't hurt me Don't hurt me no more Not very deep as is the case with most dance music. The definition of love is much closer to the truth than the sappy one previously mentioned.
If you love me, don't hurt me. If you do hurt me, I understand we all make mistakes. It's the ability to recover from those mistakes, apologizing, and moving forward that defines the love we have for one another.
Love isn't perfect. It's in the absence if it that we feel hurt. If you love someone, when they screw up, the ability to lash back does not solve the problem. It will make one person feel better in the short term. Ultimately it puts the relationship in trouble. A hurt cannot be fixed with an opposing hurt. Hurt only gets healed with love.
The ability to help someone heal from an emotional pain is the closest definition to love. Think about the last time you helped someone who was hurting. I'll bet you have love for them.
There was a time when there was uncertainty to the fakeness of professional wrestling. There's nothing fake about a 300 pound man falling 10 feet on his back. That's skill. The fakeness I'm referring to are the staged outcomes. Somewhere in adolescence we realize that the storylines are not believable. That's where the magic ends and the entertainment begins.
The World Wrestling Federation, in using WWF as their short name, changed their name in the face of a lawsuit from the World Wildlife Fund, also WWF. Their new name became World Wrestling Entertainment, or WWE. In using the word entertainment, it was now clear that the matches were not sporting events. They were for show.
The show is spectacular. Athletic ability is unquestioned. It's like watching a movie. Like any good movie, you don't know how it will end. There will be ups and downs to the plotline. And you can suspend your belief for a couple of hours as you get entranced into the stories.
In the eighties, a friend told me he thought all professional sports should be considered entertainment. He suggested the games were pre-determined. The plotlines were established in advance so that fans would come back for more. This person surmised that professional sport served only entertainment purposes.
Is hockey, basketball, football and baseball like wrestling?
In the 1980's and 1990's, many called the Superbowl, the Superbore. With good reason, the average difference of score in those two decades was 18.6 and 18 pts respectively. In the following decade, the average point difference dropped to 10. Up until this year's event, the difference dropped even further to 6.
In the NBA, from 1970 to 2009, if you looked at any decade, the average number of games played in the finals ranged from 5.2 games to 5.8 games. The last four years has averaged 6.25 games.
The NHL is the most blatant. From 1970 to 1999, again looking at each decade, the average number of games played in the Stanley Cup Finals ranged from 4.9 games to 5.4 games. Then from 2000-2009, something changed. The finals averaged 6.33 games. The last four years, the NHL plays an average 6.25 games in the finals.
One could argue that parity in the leagues have made the differences between teams so small that there is only a slight difference between the best and the second best.
I watched a special on two of the most eccentric owners that used to own NHL franchises: Charles O. Finley of the California Golden Seals and Harold Ballard of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Finley forced his players to wear white skates. His team was brutal, but he saw the entertainment value in the franchise. Ballard notoriously fired his coach, then rehired him as his players threatened not to play. He asked the rehired coach to stand behind the bench with a paper bag over his head, until the end of the national anthem. Roger Nielson refused to follow along with Ballard's request. So to compromise, he waited in the tunnel and emerged in great fanfare.
These two characters demonstrate that there may have always been a bit of Vince McMahon in professional sports.
With NBA final games generating in excess of $20 million per game, the question today should be to what extent are the showmen influencing the games???
The latest by Martin Scorcese, "The Wolf of Wall Street" is an instant classic. It's got a great leading actor in Leo DiCaprio. Everything he touches seemingly turns to gold. It's got a blue blood director. It's got all of the big three: money, drugs, and sex. Most importantly it's a got a title character that you want to hate but you idolize and sympathize him at the same time.
The story is based on true life events of Jordan Belfort. Belfort a stock broker, who takes from everyone to line his own pockets reinforces my own opinions of financial advisors. A wolf looking to get paid on the backs of the innocent chickens.
The movie shows a lot of good, motivational material too. There's a scene where the lead character does a soliloquy in which he shows his complete focus, non compromising attitude, in which everyone gets engulfed by his passion, his magnetism and his energy. His sales meetings looked more like a cult than a business function.
Belfort is a wolf salesman. Unlike Robin Hood, he robbed from everyone and gave to himself. He sells people stocks that only benefits himself.
My favourite part in the movie is when he demonstrates the art of the sale. He simply asks people to sell him a pen. Everyone describes the pen. Everyone focuses on the features and benefits of the pen and not the application. One smart guy then asks Belfort to write his name on a piece of paper. Not having a pen, Belfort says he can't. The salesman asks why, knowing that he's holding Belfort's personal pen. The point was don't sell the buyer a product. Let the buyer sell themselves.
Despite the gratuitous scenes of sex, drugs and money, the movie is full of inspiring material.
You don't have to be a wolf to good at sales. Know why your customers buy, then show them that you have what they need.
This movie has many similarities to one of Scorcese's other classics, Goodfellas.
Isn't it great being around passionate, energetic, hopeful people? There's something magical about these people. They have so much life inside of them. They are magnetic. They attract awesome results. They make things happen for themselves and those around them. These people are on a quest. You can smell it on them.
Then there's the alternative. The apathetic individual who goes bumbling through life wishing for something good to happen, but not really caring about making anything happen. You can smell them too, but it's not as fresh.
Every time I hear the words "I don't care", I get a huge shiver up my spine. It disgusts me and scares me at the same time. Not caring says a lot about an individual.
These words have made it into modern lexicon as a way of acting cool. Probably around 13, coolness became an important character trait for some odd reason. To be cool meant conformity and hopeful procreation. Putting coolness aside, not caring is the opposite of love.
My kids have started using those dreaded words. Yesterday I scolded them for saying them. They were confused. My daughter asked me if they were bad words. Although individually they are not bad words, I responded that the words were more about an attitude that was unacceptable.
I don't care is like whining. It's a stink filled attitude that brings down both the speaker and the listener.
I care! If you don't, stay away from me. I WILL give you a timeout for saying these words. Ask my daughter. I'm serious.
Many believe to build good character in our children, we shouldn't let them lose. My kids started playing soccer two years ago. Rightfully, no one but the kids keep score. There are no standings. Most importantly, there isn't a championship game. Everyone gets a medal and all the kids feel great.
At school, winning isn't promoted either. It's all about participation.
The best character is developed is through losing. Learning to lose with dignity is way more important than simple participation.
Last Fall, I was playing ball hockey with my son. He was losing. Then he proceeded to whine and mope. Seeing an opportunity to teach, I refused to let him win. It would have built his self confidence, but it would also give him a false sense of accomplishment.
Over the Winter, he's been practicing in the basement. His net is smaller but his stick handling, his shooting and his defence has improved tremendously. I'm proud of him. He's legitimately beating me. When I hear him bragging to his mom, I feel good for him.
Today, on his request, we brought the basketball net in the basement. At only six feet, the shots are really easy for an adult, and tough for a child. His competitive spirit wanted to keep score. So we agreed the first person to make 10 shots would win.
After 5 shots, my son was losing 4 to 1. He started complaining. He sat on the floor, whining and sobbing. He responded that the game wasn't fair.
As another parenting moment emerged, I philosophized to him, "You only lose when you quit. If you don't quit, you can never lose." To prove my point, I tried a little less. He came back and won the game. He ran upstairs and proudly confirmed his accomplishment to his mother.
He felt great. I feel great. This is a life lesson I hope he remembers.
In talking to a friend recently, it was noticed that the word "I" is the number one pronoun used in everyday conversation. It dominates most conversations. The friend admitted that his usage of the word was so extensive that others noticed it. He had been critically informed that he always wanted to be the centre of attention.
Can a person with a healthy ego go an entire day without using an ego driven pronoun like "I"?
Egomania is a serious disease in our society. With sugar addiction, it may be the next big thing that needs to be cured. Everyone has ego. How is it kept in check?
Awareness of the ego is the first step to recovery.
In Roy William's book, "Pendulum", he writes about society going through great changes every forty year cycle. The pendulum goes from a "we" society to a "me" society. In 2003, there were echos of the "we" society emerging. It's basic principle is that we will transition from a selfish society to a selfless society.
The greed of the 1980's is no longer acceptable. Neutron Jack Welch isn't praised as much for his management style anymore. He was considered the epitome of management during his time at General Electric. Part of Jack's strategy was to fire the bottom 33% of his staff every year. His reasoning was the fear tactic drove employees to new performance heights and created great wealth for stockholders. General Electric stock rose 600% during Welch's tenure at General Electric. Costco's grew 1200%. Forget about shareholder value for a minute, which between the two have a stronger brand?
It's no longer enough to just take care of oneself and one's family. There is a need to take care of others like most have never seen before. Companies like Costco treat their employees and subsequently their customers very well. The average wage across Costco employees is $23 per hour, while at Walmart, it's $13. Ever have to return something at Costco? It's one of the best return policies in the industry.
In this world of egomania, those who help others get what they want will ultimately achieve great success.
At five years old, my parents main form of musical entertainment was a large chest record player. The thing was huge. It was about 4 feet long and about 2 feet wide. It held all of their LP's and 8 tracks. I recall that vinyl sounded different. I'm no expert in the field like my friend BL, but I have to admit there is something nostalgic and authentic about it. It's not supposed to be perfect. Nothing is... Yet, in an industry that promotes plastic posers, it makes sense that perfect digitized recordings are required.
In their LP collection, my parents had a Kenny Rogers 45. Singles as they were called in my youth, was the release of one popular song with a lesser known song on the opposite side. I would play that song everyday. I can't remember the song on the reverse, but the single is forever engrained in my brain. "The Gambler" was my favourite song. There was something about it that was addictive. I guess it spoke to me. I would play it and sing the words as I pretended to be Kenny. Kenny Rogers wasn't the type of role model that you would tell your friends about. He wasn't cool. He wasn't a rock 'n roller. He didn't have the star power of the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. But I liked him.
Ever sing karaoke? I refused to be drunk enough to sing karaoke through my university daze. It was when I got into the workforce, that my colleagues forced me on stage. I can't carry a tune. I know that much about myself. I don't know the words to many songs, so I did what any scared shitless new employee would do. I chose the song I had practiced 1000 times. I knew the idiosyncrasies in every line. I knew the background voices. The pauses were as normal as breathing. Despite the fear of making a fool of myself in public, I publicly became Kenny Rogers for 3 minutes and 38 seconds.
Although it's been years since I sung the words to "The Gambler", I heard it yesterday and thought about some of the messages at the heart of the song.
The song starts off with the philosophical line,
"On a warm summer's evenin', on a train bound for nowhere"
Then further into the song:
"If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.
Now Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
'Cause ev'ry hand's a winner and ev'ry hand's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."
After 36 years, it just hit me the song has nothing to do with cards and every thing to do with life. Life is the ultimate gamble. Despite the hand you're dealt, anyone can win by choosing how to play the hand.
You can win, or you can lose: your choice. But if you don't think about where you're going, you'll stay on the train bound for nowhere.
It took me 36 years to realize that this song explained the secrets to life. I've been working hard at finding the answers and this song, that's been with me for more than 3 decades, was telling me how to win the game of life.
Another thing this epiphany has taught me: The answers to all our problems are right in front of our faces. We don't see them because we are not ready to receive them.
My favourite song as a child has become my favourite song again. Thanks goes to my parents for introducing me to the great philosopher, Kenny Rogers.
Over the past two blogs, I shared insights about our personal experiences without the luxury of electricity. For two days, we survived in less than normal conditions.
Compared to those less fortunate, it wasn't that hard. It was an inconvenience at best. The power came back while we were gone to the liquor store. I guess I should have hit the liquor store earlier.
It was a nice feeling to be back to normalcy again. Yet, there was a fleeing image of a wonderful two days together. So much so, we turned off all of the lights and played hide and seek one last time before bedtime. We left the beds together one more night and let the kids fall asleep playing flashlight tag in the dark. Admittedly, we had a lot of fun.
Enjoying a soothing beverage, we discussed what we lost over the past two days.
It wasn't heat - the fireplace kept us warm.
It wasn't food.
It wasn't money. No damage to our house or loss of income due to the outage.
It wasn't even time, because we spent it together.
So what did we lose over two days? We lost our comfort. It wasn't as comfortable as we're used to. Things were different. We had to adjust. Getting uncomfortable in life is where growth happens.
You can choose to be upset about it or accept it. We chose to accept it. We thrived and grew as a family.
Based on these family changing events, my wife plans to force us to disconnect every Saturday night and have family night. Not sure she's thinking clearly right now. Too many distractions to get everyone to agree to family time.
To support her, I promised to do my part by flipping the main power switch. That'll get rid of the distractions.
We all slept in the same room last night. I awoke this morning to a driveway full of snow. Although I swore my snow blowing days were over for this winter, I've had to eat my words. My 4x4 would struggle with three feet of snow at the end of the driveway. I cleaned it out nice and wide. Maybe the last I need to do that this winter.
The propane fireplace throws enough heat to keep us warm. My son runs around the house without a shirt on. Each time we order him to put a shirt on, he complains of being too hot.
Bottled water is coming in handy. Thanks DB for your survival tips last summer. With 90 litres of water, we will not dehydrate.
Today, my Boy Scout days came back to me. I pulled out the propane stove which was used for camping once upon a time. Set up a makeshift kitchen in the garage. There's more ventilation to protect us from carbon monoxide poisoning. Boiled some tea. Then we had hamburgers for lunch. The fridge is warming up so we took all the dairy, and protein and put it in a cooler outside. It's only 1 degree outside but it's still colder than in my fridge. Checked the freezer. Everything is holding temp.
New problem is that we've drained the holding tank for our toilets. It's getting kind of gross in there. Aline filled up the buckets with snow last night, only to have an inch of water this morning. not enough for one flush. I warned her but she wanted to try. There's been a bit of a thaw this afternoon. Water started rolling off the roof. Perfect water for our toilets. I have four buckets collecting water as I write this blog. I initially suggested using the buckets for our dirty business. I was outvoted three to one.
The kids played together again this morning, but they are getting agitated. The first big fight happened a few minutes ago. Poor kids probably have cabin fever. We gotta get out and go for a drive.
We have numerous offers to stay with loved ones. For now we're comfortable. I'm really regretting Sunday. I had a lazy day and didn't shower. For a guy who usually showers every day, this three day binge is borderline disgusting. We are told that people are going to the local community centre as a refuge.
Got home from supper to find our driveway full of hard packed icy snow. And I thought this morning was my last run. Couldn't plow through it so we had to park the car on the side of the road.
Power company says no power until tomorrow night. There's power at the school. It looks like school might be on tomorrow. A friend recharged our phones. As an added bonus, we found a place to have a shower. We are all clean again.
The damn dog decided that peeing in our bed was a better decision than going outside.
