It's not my fault

Responsibility is a difficult characteristic to teach. I notice my kids playing the blame game constantly.

It's not my fault.
She started it.
The teacher is to blame.
I couldn't listen because there was too much distraction.
The dog is the problem.

Then the best yet,

I'm tired because I couldn't sleep in. I have to go to school.

This thinking is the result of a fixed mindset. My kids blame everyone and everything else for the consequences of their own actions.

In trying to teach my daughter about responsibility, I explained that every time she points the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at her. The little bugger opened her hand and motioned toward her brother. She responded by saying, now all the responsibility is on him. Problem solved.

Remember the Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding figure skating debacle of 1994. As part of ESPN's 30 on 30 series, they reviewed all of the events, with current interviews from Harding and other people involved with both athletes. It showed Harding as the trailer park trash and Kerrigan as the ice princess. What was the most shocking was that Harding has never taken any responsibility for anything that has happened to her. She was hated by the US Olympic Committee. The media wouldn't leave her alone. She didn't get enough sleep the night before the Olympic competition. Her skate lace broke and she lost her focus. Her estranged husband was pointing the finger at her for the assault on her teammate. It went on and on.

How sad is it that someone who was one of the best in the world does not believe that she was the problem?

I see it a lot. People, organizations, governments and nations who blame others for their woes. When in fact, if they looked at their own policies and actions, they would find the solution to the problem.

Shit happens. It's how we deal with it that makes us better for it. Forget about what others did. You can't control others. You can only control yourself.

Analyze what you did wrong. Look at what you could have done better. Learn from your tragedies. The greatest tragedy is not learning from your mistakes.

Take responsibility for your life. The next time you feel like using an excuse, be honest with yourself and with the person you're talking to.

You'll find the roses smell better, the sugar tastes sweeter and the sounds activate your soul.