The secret ingredient to happiness

I will be happy when...insert expectation here...

I will be happy if...insert condition here...

Happiness is not based on expectation or conditions.
Happiness is not an event. Nor is it dependant on the future.

Happiness can only happen in the present.
So what's the secret?
Why does it allude some of us, yet get attracted to others like flies to shit?

I read recently that happiness is a derivative of gratitude. If we recognize all the things in our life and appreciate them, then the crappy stuff that eventually happens will carry less weight on our emotional state.

I take the good things in my life for granted. I think we all do from time to time. It's only when I sit down and take stock that I realize how fortunate I am. Happiness is a drug, like a swig of gin as it creates those good feelings. Unfortunately, like a drug, the more I try to consume, the sicker I get. The more I search for it, the further I stray away from it.

And like crack, each hit is less and less effective- so I'm told...

We all want to be happy. We search for it in the pursuit of things and events. The momentary attainment of events and things can be addictive. It's a hypodermic needle filled with chemicals. Something more addictive than heroine and harder to find than a two peckered billy goat. The happiness drug is dopamine. And dopamine is created by our brains.

I know this sounds stupid, but happiness cannot be found. It's a state of being. It's a choice.

When you're hungry, you eat.
When the happiness tank is empty, you fill it with dopamine fuelled by gratitude.

If happiness is inside of us then it will be where you are, when you're ready to receive it.

I conducted a personal happiness experiment recently. Every morning, I took a minute to think about all the good things in my life. Then at supper, before the kids scoffed down their food, we had a gratitude moment. At first the kids thought it was stupid. We didn't know what to say, so we'd say the first thing that came to our minds. To get more original in my answers, I started to notice the small pleasures in life so I could share them at supper.

As I paid more attention to the small things, I caught myself giggling multiple times a day.

I dropped my phone and it didn't break.
A friend bought me lunch.
The insurance is going to pay for the damages to my pool.
A friend asked for my business advice.
My son gave me a hug this morning.
The whole family went fishing together.
Mom told me she loved me today.
I was speeding and the cops flashed their lights but didn't pull me over.
I learned something new.

And then the best one...
I was drinking a breakfast smoothie in the car, when a dollop of yogurt escaped the top end of the straw and strayed downward toward my clean white shirt. I was all dressed up for an important meeting and was scared to look down. To my amazement, the liquid landed perfectly on the shoulder harness of my seatbelt. It never touched my shirt. I was saved, giggled and thanked God for his gracious generosity.

I challenge you to go on your own personal gratitude journey. For the next 21 days, write down three things that happens for which you are grateful.  Read them out loud before you go to bed and when you wake up. Then look all day for three new things you can write at the end of that day. And repeat for 20 more days.

You'll surprise yourself.

You'll be happy you did it.