Beliefs, knuckleheads and looking for love in all the wrong places

Can I buy you a coffee?
No, thank you. I'm going to have a tea.

Ok, can I buy you a tea?
Sure can. How's business going?

It's going well. But it would be better if I could find good employees. People today don't want to work anymore.
Are you sure about that?

Yes. Every time we post a job ad, we get 15 resumes. Out of those, only 7 accept an interview. We try to interview all 7, but only 4 show up. Then out of those interviewed, we choose the best one.
And how does the chosen employee work out?

We're looking for his replacement within six months.
Sounds like you hired the wrong person.

Agreed, but we're scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Can I help you?

I'm going to have an Americano and a tea...
Green Tea please...

Uh ok, an Americano and a Green tea please.

What size?
Medium?
Yes medium is fine...
Ok, make that two mediums please

So you're having problems finding good workers?
Yes, but I believe it's because no one wants to work anymore?

Be careful of your thoughts?
It's just the truth. We haven't had any luck at all.

Let's flip it around at you.
What?

Are you a good worker?
That's not fair.

But it is. You consider yourself a good worker. If you were looking for work, wouldn't your boss be lucky to have you?
Yes, but...

There's no buts in this. You haven't found the right worker for your business, so you blame the market. You blame the people you hired. When in fact, you should blame your poor selection techniques, your poor marketing skills in acquiring new talent, or your gut instinct in detecting the right candidate.
So you're saying I'm the problem with hiring.

Bingo.

Medium Americano and Medium Green Tea
Thanks, can we continue this conversation.
Sure, I have a few minutes.

I disagree that I'm the problem, but for purposes of the conversation, let's say I agree.
Let's try to make this clearer for you.

Why is Westjet airlines successful?
The employees are owners.

Wow that was quick. Are you sure about that?
Yes, the employees act differently because they own stock in the company. They work together to make more money. It's actually pretty simple.

So if it's that simple, why don't all companies make employees shareholders?
Well it doesn't work easily for most companies. Westjet is a public company. They issue shares on the Stock Exchange. My company is privately held. I don't want...

Let me stop you. It has little to do with ownership. The employees are awesome because they were already awesome in some other job. Westjet found them through their recruitment process. They have a smart selection criteria in which they refuse to negotiate on organizational culture.

I still think it has to do with ownership.
Let me give you a simple example to squash that. Westjet's competitors also issue shares to employees, but it has little to no effect.  Attitude can not be trained. I can teach a lot of things, but I have never been able to teach someone to care. Westjet looks for people who ALREADY care.

Ok, ok. So it works for Westjet, but it can't work for me. My business cannot afford to pay more than $20 per hour.

Again, you think that compensation is based on the quality of the person you can find. It's not true. The best employee I ever hired was paid minimum wage. They stayed for 4 years.
Four years. Wow. I wish I could get them to stay for one year.

See, money has little effect on finding good people.
So let's say you're right. How do you find good people?

Start with yourself.
What?

You said you were a good worker.
Yes, but I can't do any more work. I'm already busy with day to day management of my business.

I get it, but if you were looking for work, anyone would be lucky to hire someone like you. Right?
Of course.

Then hire yourself.
I'm not following.

Unconsciously, you're doing it already. You're looking for yourself, but you're advertising in the wrong places and most likely the wrong way. Tell me about your best hire.

That's funny you say that. The best guy I ever hired was a hard worker. He'd leave his phone in the truck to get the work done. He was tech savvy, and would ask for more work when his initial tasks were done. He got along with everyone. Never once did I have to talk to him about his attitude. He was a nice guy.

Sounds a bit like you...
Oh my...He was exactly like me. Just 20 years younger. I even told my wife that I saw him as the son I never had.

See? You saw yourself in him. Why did he leave?
I think he decided to go back to school.

So you already hired yourself once. Just go do it again.
Just? Easier said then done. It was complete luck that I found him the first time. Besides, when I need to hire people, I need them immediately. I can't sit around and wait for 6 months to get the next ideal employee. Time is money.

Then don't sit around and wait. Use a belief based marketing technique to find "mini you's" in your employee search.
What? I don't understand.

You're looking for love in all the wrong places.
Love, huh?

Do you think you could find the love of your life in a dirty, grungy bar.
Of course, but it's rare.

Exactly, because everyone has a different agenda. And the two of you will likely be back in the bar in six months looking for love again, with someone else. Listen closely to the lyrics of the song. It's the story of your hiring experience.

So what's this belief based thing-a-majig?

Detail out your beliefs as it relates to work. Don't describe the job as much as describe the type of person you're looking to hire.
You mean like strong, good attitude, works well with others.

No. That's all bullshit. Everyone wants that. And every candidate will say they are those things to get a job. If they need money, they'll do almost anything to get the job.
So what do you mean?

Go deeper by starting with yourself or better yet, by describing that great employee you just told me about.
Huh. I'm not following.

Ok, let me give you a couple of lines in your next job ad.
Awesome.

We believe:
Work is sometimes hard, but it never has to go unappreciated.
Our phones should stay in the truck while work is being done.
All people, including the biggest jerks, should be treated with respect.
Karma is a bitch, so we work hard not to upset her.

What? I'll never get any resumes with that ad.
Not true. You'll get some, but not as many as you used to. This ad will eliminate many of the deadbeats that you're trying to avoid anyways.

Ok, let's say you're right and I only get 2 resumes. I know I need 15 resumes to find one employee.
Not true. You need one resume to find one employee. The chances will be extremely high that the two resumes received will be from qualified candidates.

So I don't have to do interviews anymore? I hate doing them anyways.
No not at all. This isn't a perfect science. There's still the "knucklehead" factor. Some undesirable employees can still slip through the cracks, so doing an interview removes those knuckleheads.

Knuckleheads?
Yeah, people who need a job and will say they are whatever you want them to be.

So once I get the resumes, what do I do next?
Email them to tell them you received their resume. Then ask them to CALL you for an interview.

Are you nuts? People have a hard time to show up half the time. Now you want them to call me for an interview?
Yes. Do you agree actions speak louder than words?

Of course.
One of your beliefs is "All people should be treated with respect". Isn't the definition of respect returning messages, either email or phone?

Uh, yes.
There you go. If they don't call you, they weren't that interested or they lack the respect factor you're looking for. You could even include it as a belief if you wanted. Something like, "Respect for others includes, returning calls and emails within 24 hours"...

I won't have any applications if I do this.
Henry Ford said, "If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right". If you don't think this will work then you should keep doing what you've been doing.

I'm ready for change. But have you done this before?
Yes, I don't share any secrets I haven't done myself. I used belief based marketing in a job ad ten years ago. I needed five employees. Three of them were still there when I sold the business four years later.

Wow. Is it that easy?
Ask yourself a simple question, "Are there any 20 year olds, who think like you, looking for the things you believe in".

I think so.
Then go find them. You've been looking in the wrong place for the right person.

You've given me a lot to think about. Have a great day.
Thanks for the tea.

Don't be the dog. Be the car.

Life was good. 

Working on another project, the edge of the horizon was sharp.

A plan of action was set.

Summoning the winds, the bell dinged on the computer.

It wasn’t expected.

It was dismissed. 

As well as the person behind the email. 

She wanted time and/or money, was the thought.

She persisted. 

And she was dismissed a second time. 

It can’t be good, another thought screamed.

And she persisted again. 

I gave her my number.

Two minutes later, the phone vibrated. 

Wow, she didn't get the message.

I was not getting the message.

The wind had changed without notice. 

We agreed to meet.

The opportunity was ok, but not exciting.

We met, and my interest scattered away.

I told my wife I wasn’t moving forward. 

It wasn't of interest. It couldn’t give what we wanted.

The hurricane was pushing hard in my direction.

The phone rang again. 

The business was ours. 

I was still ready to back out. 

Until the realization of everything was arriving as was asked. 

Just in a different form.  

Without persistence, it wouldn’t have happened. 

Not mine, but someone else's.

  

I was AWARE of the business.

I did not chase it.

It chased me.

The world came to me as I made other plans.

The world gave exactly what I wished.

I sit here thinking about success.

And how this success came to be.

Learning from success is as important as learning from failure.

So I sit here and share lessons for my own benefit as well as yours.

Letting go is the key.

Dogs don’t catch the cars they chase.

Don’t be the dog.

Be the car.

Let others chase you.

And they will chase.

Observe and witness.

The winds will change in your favour.

You have no control over it.

Don’t force it.

Embrace it when it comes.

And the result you ask for will come to you,

In a form you won't expect.

Happiness, superpowers, and races that can't be won

Do you ever do any work?
What do you mean?

I see you in your "office" posing as a coffeeshop at least three days per week. When do you do any "real" work?
Don't misinterpret the definition of office work in today's world. Some of us work at the beach, some of us work at home. Some sit in stuffy offices, and some enjoy a tea at the coffeeshop.

No real work gets done here, right. It's just pontification, meetings and responding to emails.
If I told you that I worked on a multi-million dollar acquisition last week at this table, would you believe me?

Are you not afraid of secret information getting out?
Nope, 90% of people don't care to know any details. Another 9% will forget them within 2 minutes of hearing them. So only 1% of people will care enough to remember the details. The chances are slim to none they are within ear shot of my conversation at the coffeeshop.

So the information could be heard and used against you.
I guess, but I don't live my life that way. Life's too short to worry what a competitor might do to hurt my dealings.

But they could.
Sure they could. But it hasn't happened yet. So why worry about things that might come.

Let's change the conversation, I have a question?
I hope it's better than "do you ever do any work?".

Umm. Hope so. How do you find a business to buy when all you do is sit in a coffeeshop all day? I have been looking for 3 years and haven't found anything interesting yet.
That's a great question. Start with your superpower and work out from there.

Superpower? I'm lost.
There's something you're great at. Maybe even one of the greatest in the world. It's the thing your creator gave you to exploit.

I don't have a superpower.
I don't believe you. It takes a rite of passage like failure to force it to emerge.

So I need bad things to happen to me to learn how to be successful.
Not always, but most of time. If you have success in your first business, you won't appreciate how special it is and will likely screw it up.

Ok, so let's say I fail along the way and I realize my superpower. Then what?
You learn from your mistakes. You grow and you become an expert in your field of influence.

Forget the superpower stuff. How do YOU buy a business?
I know where my edge is.

What is an edge?
I have made a lot of mistakes and I've had some success. The mistakes taught me what I should not do again, so I try not to make the same mistakes.

Do you have a formula for success?
Yes. Make mistakes.

Edge, mistakes, superpowers... I don't want to make mistakes, I can't afford to.
You can't afford not to. The men who are the greatest success stories can write books about their massive failures. It's almost impossible to be successful without passing through the door of failure.

I feel we're going in circles. Outside of mistakes and knowing your superpower, how do you do it?
Have you ever heard of Cafe Jomama?

I think it was a small cafe on the other side of town, but I never went there. And I think it closed.
Yes it did. That was my first business. I loved it. But I made a huge mistake. I didn't anticipate the time it took to build a clientele from scratch to profitability. And I built an extremely nice cafe that was uncomfortable to the average person.

Isn't nice better? Don't customers want nice environments to enjoy their coffee?
That's what I thought at the time, until a wise businessman told me that the nicer you make your restaurant, the smaller the target audience will be.

That makes sense. So what's your superpower?
I have a formula for success.

Will you share?
I can but you won't believe me.

Sure I will, I respect your experience and knowledge.
Ok. Let me change the conversation. How long have you been married?

Ah, about 4 years.
Can you share with the success of your marriage?

I don't know if it's successful. We're still married and haven't killed each other yet. It's just one day at a time. Learning from mistakes and not royally screwing up our bond is the key, I think.

When will you know you're successful?
Not sure, maybe when we're old and have grandchildren eating all of the ice cream in the freezer.

Is there a race to a successful marriage?
No, it's just living and trying to be happy.

Exactly. The same goes for business. Try not to make mistakes, but when you do, fix them as quickly as possible. Learn from them and keep going forward so future generations can benefit from your work.

But I need a certain income to survive and if I get into the wrong business, I could lose everything.
What do you really have?

A house, a couple of cars and a cottage.
You also have mortgages and car loans.

Yeah, but if I'm not making money, I could lose them.
Sure could. But don't forget, that the bank doesn't want those things. They want your money that you promised them. Stop paying and they will look to recover as much of their money as they can.

Exactly, the reason I can't afford to fail.
So you're more connected to the things you have than the life you want...

Huh?
You want to get into business, but you're not willing to sacrifice the material things you currently control. I'm not saying you'll be successful but I am saying that if you don't TRY, you can never HAVE.

There is no race to success in business. Of course we all want to be successful. But success is not about money. Money is a result. It helps but it's about doing the things that make us happy. I have a friend who has been talking about retiring from her job since she was 30 yrs old. How can you live a happy life when 40 hours of your week are spent in misery? 30 years of looking toward death is not my idea of fun.

Ok, so hanging out in coffeeshops make you happy?
No. Talking to people like you fills me. Writing about these conversations thrill me. And coaching my operations people to increase profitability feeds me. All while I travel, look for new businesses to buy and spend time with my kids makes me happy.

I get it, so you're superpower is not having to work in a business yet understanding how to make it profitable.
You're getting warmer.  I'm sorry, I have to let you go, I'm about to get on a conference call with one of managers.

One last question, "What's the secret formula"?
There is no universal secret formula. Just like a marriage, what works for me, may not work for you. There's too many moving parts. You have to figure it out for yourself. You'll find your way, if you're willing to try and make mistakes. And if you're not willing to fail, you better hope the race you're running can be won.

Huh?
Let's say you're making $100,000 per year in your job. The company lays you off due to poor sales. You're out of work and can't get another similar job. What happens to your savings? What happens to your house? What happens to your reputation?

I would lose everything.
Yes, the race you think you're running is not your race. So the thing you're afraid of could happen anyways.  When you come to the realization that everything you work for could be gone with something out of your control, you look at your life and your future differently. The assumption is always that you can be employed somewhere else. You are smart and someone else would be happy to have you. And you're probably right. But what if you're wrong? You end up in the same place that you fear the most. All the while doing stuff that doesn't make you happy, waiting for retirement like my friend.

How do you know this?
Because I was there. Not wanting to lose the race. Until someone made a decision out of my control that turned everything upside down. Looking back on it, I don't get here if I don't lose that job.

But you're making more money.
Not sure about that. But I definitely feel like I have more time to do the things I love.

Let's make some lemonade

Can you say something nice?

Did you know that when something goes wrong, you’ll tell an average of 25 people about it?

And when things go right, you may tell one?

I like lemonade, especially when it gets squeezed it directly from a lemon and we add a teaspoon of simple syrup. 

We live in a world where bad news sells. I think we want the good news stories, but we still rivet unconsciously to the things that potentially ruin our day

It makes better stories.

It’s these negative stories that have me concerned.

A dash of sugar in a sour world changes every thing.

I quit Facebook back in 2017. Admittedly, there are times I find myself exploring information on it. But I quit. There was too much negativity, too much victimitus and too much whining and complaining. It didn’t come from everyone, but it came from enough that I found myself pulled into the same negative space. And I didn’t like what it was doing for me.

This week, I was sitting in circle at my favourite place on the planet and a wise man asked what was the favourite part of the week. He then went on to say that without verbalizing the positive event, the human brain automatically searches for the negative. 

“The food could’ve been better”.

“There wasn’t enough wine”.

“There was too much wine”.

“The instructors went too fast”.

“The instructors went too slow”.

My guru went on to say that evaluation forms at the end of a session searches for the negative events, in the hopes of making the session better. But this activity actually imprints the negative to the participant's mind and forces an undesirable feeling.

No sugar, no lemonade.

I have not enjoyed my experience on Air Canada for years. It is rare that someone from the organization makes me feel like a valued customer. Yet this week, my flight was cancelled on Air Canada and it forced me to stay overnight in Austin, Texas. 

I’ve seen flights get cancelled before and the room gets filled with smoke bombs and hand grenades.

Yet this time, there were high fives, fist bumps, handshakes and smiles from all inconvenienced passengers. 

The staff responded in clockwork fashion, without getting bitchy and whiny. They accommodated everyone and averted a potential disaster. I watched a ticket agent beg over the phone for a hotel room. No less than 7 times, did he say, “Please save me that room” in a row. It was awesome. He was saving the room for ME. 

He helped me check in for the next day's flight from my phone. 

He gave me the number of the shuttle I needed to call to get to my free hotel room. 

And then he gave me $40 in food vouchers. 

Air Canada went above and beyond to help the stranded customers. 

It was unexpected. 

I was delighted.

It was this type of experience that makes me want to use Air Canada more.

In keeping with the wise man’s words, the best part of my flight was the way Air Canada converted a bad situation into an excellent experience.

They finally figured out how to add a little bit of sugar into a mouth curdling event.

I never thought I could say this but, 

Thanks for the lemonade Air Canada!

Do you know who I am?

Imagine you are looking for a parking spot in a small plaza. There is one spot available, but it's bordered by a snowbank and a big van. But there's no other spot and you need to buy a sandwich from your favourite shop.

You open your door to meet the driver of the neighbouring van arriving at the same time. It's that moment when he goes left and you go left. Or he steps right and you try to go right.

I call it the "Dance". Part awkward, part funny. It's a moment that gets a chuckle.

Today, you have no time to dance. You're in a hurry, so to avoid any parking lot jig, you politely say "Excuse me" and scurry past him. He steps back, but then runs right into you with his dirty floor mat with the residue of 538 shoes on it.

No big deal.
Inconsequential.
Acceptable.
Forgettable.

Until you hear the next words out of his "co-worker's" mouth, who was walking behind your dance partner.

You could've waited until he put the mat in the van. That was rude.
What?

We were just going to be a second, you didn't have to ram into him.

What would you say?
Were you rude?
Most people don't try to be rude purposely.
They may try to be funny, or they may look for attention.
But rude is reserved for assholes. And you're not an asshole.

What would you do if you were the dance partner that got bumped?
Would you feel compelled to correct the actions of some random guy trying to get into his favourite sandwich shop?

What would you do if you were the owner of this company?

This happened to me this week.

I asked the big mouth if he owned the company that had a big red logo on the van.
He hesitated.
Then I asked my dance partner if he owned the company.
He reiterated that I didn't have to bump him.

"Do you know who I am", I shockingly stammered in my most indignant voice.
Umm, No.
Exactly, I'm nobody, a regular joe, a potential customer, and an existing customer of the company that pays your paycheques.

What's your point?
You don't know me.
But I know who you are.
I can retell this story on Facebook.
I can trash this company online.
I can hurt you.
I can use this story as a rallying cry for my cause.
Your business is possibly affected and you may lose your job.

Is it fair? Nope. But you're in customer service. Doesn't matter if I'm wrong or right. You need to have a higher standard for everyone, including regular Joe's like me, because you don't know what we are capable of doing.

Was I wrong?
Maybe. I was in a hurry and probably wasn't paying attention to the needs of someone else.

Am I ashamed of it? A bit, but the result wasn't a big deal until some hot-head felt the need to berate me in a parking lot.

We're all in customer service, especially when we wear logos on our shirts, on our cars and on our hats.

Pay attention to details or get caught with your pants down

Are there things you should be taking care of that you're avoiding?

No one is asking for it to get done so it's easy to push it to the back burner. 

It only gets done when it becomes a priority. 

Imagine you gained a few pounds over the winter. You eat a bit more, and exercise less as the temperature drops below freezing.

You become a bear. You hibernate, and fatten up to have an extra shield of armour to ward off the cold. 

Your favourite pair of pants become uncomfortable. They stretch past the comfort zone. The zipper fights to stay closed and your stomach scrunches up to survive another day.

Just after Christmas, the zipper informs you that he is stressed and may need to go out on leave if this keeps up. 

You avoid the plea for help. January is only 31 days long and Christmas weight will come off. The world would return to normal and all would be right again between you and your knickers. 

Then one day in January, you see in the bathroom mirror that your zipper is already half way to quitting time. Luckily you are wearing black underwear, so you suck your gut back into place and coax the zip back to work.

To get a head start on spring, you make a conscious decision to work out a bit more to help the zipper with his job. And all seems back to normal. Everyone is doing their jobs.

Fast forward two weeks...

You are standing in front of a room of 25 people giving a presentation, when 3 ladies off to one corner start giggling. The presentation has some funny parts, so giggling is expected. But you aren't at the giggly part yet. So as you're talking, your mind races to what could possibly be so funny.

It is distracting. Your mouth is moving, but your mind is focussed on those three girls, when a lightning bolt strikes. 

"Are you wearing the pants with the tired zipper?"

Oh shit, what if your zipper quit?

How do you check?

If you put your hand there, and the zipper is still holding up, you'll look like a fool.

You can't turn around and do a zip check, it will look odd.

But you can't continue if the zip retired. No one can focus on a fool's words when his horse is about to escape the barn. 

You think you're an idiot. You should've fixed that zipper or at least put those pants aside until you lost the weight. Now you're forced to deal with the shame you created.

With all this distraction, you can't continue. Words are coming out and you're not sure you're making any sense. You're living your nightmare. You're half naked in front of 25 people you don't know. All because of a stupid tired zipper not willing to do his job. You weren't paying attention to details.

In a last ditch effort, you decide to leave the room with some lame excuse. 

But the good lord comes to your rescue as someone feels the need to discuss his experience. It is the perfect timing you need as everyone looks at him.  You turn sideways to your right, while quietly sliding your right hand quickly down to the junk region, to discover your zipper is working as hard as you expect of him.

Phewf, another disaster diverted. The ladies are laughing at something other than your nakedness. 

Are there things in your business that need your attention?

Are those same things continuously going to the bottom of your "to-do" list because of their low priority?

Remember, like a dumb zipper, everything eventually becomes a priority. 

A disaster outside of your control is unfortunate.

A disaster within your control is stupidity.

Don't get caught with your pants down. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Conversations with a conditional offer

Story 1:

I was getting a coffee when this coupon winked at me. 

Hey, do I know you?, I asked.
No, but I like you. Would you like to get $50 worth of free coffee?

Sure! It's free right?
Yes, sweetheart. All you have to do is rip me off the pad, take it to the local bank, sign up for a credit card. If you're accepted, we'll make sure you get the $50 gift card for free coffee.

How is that free? Isn't my time worth anything? And what about my credit? I don't need another credit card. Are you telling me that my creditworthiness and my time is the toll I have to pay to get some free coffee?

Yes, darling We like you. But we need you to do something for us. When you sign up for that card, we'll have access to your personal information like address, phone number and birthday. We can send you unsolicited mail, email and promotions if you forget to check the box that opts you out of our annoying marketing. But you'll want this stuff. Trust me... 

I don't think so. You already lied to me once.  All I wanted was a coffee. You caught my eye with your wink. But now I hate you. Leave me alone and don't call me. Oh yeah, you don't have my phone number so you won't be able to anyways. 

****************************************************************
Story 2:

I was surfing Facebook when another ad caught the glimmer of my eye.

"Buy my travel services and you'll get a deep discount to celebrate our nation's 150th birthday", said the pimp.
I don't need your services. But it looks like fun. The price is right. Maybe I can take my whole family with me at that price.

Sure, why not?
You're right. Why not? I'm making plans already in my mind. This is going to be so much fun. We just have to figure out the details.

You're the man. Your family is going to love this trip. Your family is going to love you.
What's this in the fine print?

Oh, don't worry about that, you're under 25 years old, right?
Umm, No.

Are your kids at least 12 years old?
Umm, No.

A man with your beauty must surely have a bride under 25 years old.
Umm, No.

Well we only have a few limited seats for this offer. You don't qualify so leave me alone.
Wasn't it you that was looking for my business?

I said leave me alone. You're not the person we're looking for.
Is my money any less valuable than a 25 year olds?

Well, no. But you can afford to pay full price. We still want you to book with us. Just pay full fare.
But you told me the fare is only worth $150. I'm an idiot if I pay more. I liked the original offer, but I hate your exclusion condition. Here's a condition for you: I won't use your services unless someone forces me to or if I don't have any other choice.  I wish you a long and painful death.

************************************************************


I hate offers that have conditions.

Conditional marketing is a slimy way to catch the audience off guard. It tricks the audience to believe one thing to be true, when there is an alternative motive.

Alternative motives are sneaky cream pies filled with hidden agendas, lies and exaggerations. Transactions filled with these ingredients don't allow for healthy customer conversions.

If a company wants to sell extra product by putting it on sale, they should put it on sale. They do not need to be shady in their message

These tactics are supposed to be reserved for the weasel sucking used car dealers who are looking to take advantage of innocent customers.

There's no place in business for those behaviours, used car dealers included.

If you're looking to increase your marketing efforts and you're not a weasel trying to trick customers, you can contact me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com. I can help in the marketing process to be honest, real and most importantly believable.

You love drama, even if you won't admit to it...

Don't misinterpret Drama with Gossip. Drama in my vocabulary is the usage of storytelling to create a mental interpretation in the heads of the audience.

There is a gatekeeper in our human brains.
The Wizard of Ads calls this gatekeeper, Broca.
Broca doesn't like to be bored.
He will not let messages through to the brain unless you excite him.
There are four ways to get past the gatekeeper.

1. Subliminally
2. Using of anapestic metre
3. Humour
4. Drama

Today's blog is about Drama.

If you're trying to sell something, the usage of story has the power to pull a buyer into your world.  J. Peterman did it for years in his catalogues and you can too.

Here's an example of J. Peterman story for selling a pair of pants.

**************

1889.

A hurricane with gusts of eighty miles per hour tears through New York.

A crowd gathers to watch New York’s first skyscraper collapse.

The architect climbs up the scaffolding of the building.

Despite the hurricane, he reaches the top, jumps to his feet, waving his hat in triumph.

A gust knocks him over, skidding him to the edge of the scaffold.

At the very last moment, he grabs a rope and saves himself.

After climbing down he calmly stated, “The building stood as steady as a rock in the sea.”

Men’s Pure Wool Pants (No. 4898). Finely woven. A slightly bolder pattern than typical wool pants. Requires no exceptional acts of courage to wear. Looks particularly dashing with a black turtleneck. Classic fit, two front pleats. Lined to knee. Made in Portugal.

Please allow an additional 2-3 business days for alterations.

**********************

Tell a story, no different than when you were 10 years old.
You told anyone who would listen.
You rambled.
You embellished, slightly.
Your eyes widened and your words sped up with excitement.

And people listened. You captured an audience. Not because of the wild story but because of the way you told it.

I wrote an ad to sell a used blender on kijiji.
The story is true.
Aline and I used to make rum daiquiris to stay cool in the summer.
No where in the ad copy did I explain the age, features, benefits of the blender.
In the words of the Wizard of Ads Roy Williams, I left the unimportant "under water".

The original ad, "Blender, with ice crush function" $15 was up for a week, with 11 views.
And no sale.  
Not even a tweet of interest.

I changed the ad to play around with ad copy.
I was "farting around".

The best part of this ad is that I sold the blender the first day the new copy was used. And I received FULL asking price from the first courter.

Here's my "farting around" ad:

*********************************************************************

This blender was built for those lazy summer days. 
It's hard to imagine those dog daysi n the middle of March, when the temperature hovers around -4 degrees. 

You know it's coming. Those days when it's so hot outside, the sweat beads down your back the minute you go outside. 

You don't have a/c in the house so you depend on the floor fan to keep the air moving so you don't die of heat exhaustion. 

You don't feel like doing anything because the humidity is thicker than your mother in law's turkey gravy. Funny enough, you don't like moving after her gravy either. 

There are only two things you can do on those heat wrenched days. 

1. Get out of the house and go somewhere cooler (the mall, a friends house, the beach). 

2. Get some liquor, crush up some ice and serve rum daiquiris. 

We didn't have any friends with a/c. I hate the mall. And my body wasn't built for the beach. 

So we opted for number 2. This blender makes a mean strawberry daiquiri. It kept the wife and I cool for all those humid summers with its ice crush option. 

There are other options on it, but I only remember using the crush ice option. I probably used other options, but after a few of my daiquiries, the memory blurrs. 

One batch makes enough daiquiri to ward off all the sweat demons and helps you sleep through the heat infested evening. 

I don't know how I would have survived those summers without this blender. 

We moved and the new house had a/c. 

We don't use the blender anymore. 

So if you don't have a/c, hate the mall, don't have friends with a/c and don't have a beach body, I have the best option for you. 

Get a blender that crushes ice and have a few cold daiquiris.

***************************************************************

The usage of drama and storytelling pulls a reader into your world. Some won't care. 
In this case, I didn't need SOME. 
I needed ONE.

One of the biggest mistakes salespeople make is they think they need to appeal to EVERYONE.
That's not true.
They need a SMALL percentage of the market to have a more business than they can handle.

I found my ONE customer and now I have $15 where a blender once stood. 

Can you be honest and tell me you don't like drama? 

Think of all those stories from your childhood,
Or the stories you pay to see at the local theatre, 
Or the stories of an ad from J. Peterman.


If you want to use the power of DRAMA and storytelling to market your products, you can contact me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com.

Get into their heads

You are busy.

The last thing you need is to be told you need that new gadget.

So you ignore the message.

You will not do something unless you've already gone there in your mind.

It's the job of the advertiser to get you there.

Marketing's job is to get in your customer's head.

Factual ads detailing features and benefits appeal to the left brain.

The left brain is responsible for logic and analysis.

Marketing's job is to get in your customer's head.

For them to remember the ad.

To recall the company.

To want the product.

Marketing's job is to create an emotion within the customer.

For them to remember the ad.

To recall the company.

To want the product.

Factual ads cannot do that.

The key to results based marketing is emotional based advertising.

Emotion is not linear or factual.

It's non linear.

It lives in the right hemisphere of the brain.

The right-brain wants to be entertained. It desires creativity. It thrives on ideas.

Will any old marketing work?

The simple answer is Yes.

But it means, that the customer has to ALREADY be in the market to buy when they hear the factual message.

They are ALREADY there.

Here's why you don't want to do any old marketing.

1. Your competitors are already doing it.

2. No one knows why you're better.

3. No one cares you exist.

4. They don't need you. They already have the product or service from someone else.

5. You'll waste a bunch of money and will think marketing doesn't work in your category.

6. If you haven't convinced them you are different, they will decide for themselves based on convenience, location and price. 

7. Price is a terrible marketing differentiator.

The key to get marketing to work is very simple.

1. Come up with a compelling message that no one else dares say.

2. Tell as many people as you can as effectively as you can.

3. Get in the customer's brain even when they don't see/hear your marketing.

4. Talk to your target audience a minimum of 3 times per week with a words that keeps changing but the message is the same.

If you do this, your cash register will be so full that you will need a bucket under the counter to throw in the extra cash to keep it from falling on the floor.

Tomorrow I'm going to show you an example of how to get in your customers' heads using Kijiji ads.

If you want to figure out how to get in your customers heads with your marketing, you can reach me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com.

Peacock theory

There's a great book called, "Fourth Turning"  written by Neil Howe and William Strauss. It makes predictions based on generational theory. The book was written in 1997 and reading it for a second time in 2017 was interesting to see many of their predictions come true.

This blog isn't about that book. It's about another one. I was looking for a new book on Amazon. Because Strauss and Howe were in my favourites, "The Game" was a suggested reading. The author's name was Neil Strauss. I thought it was from the same co-author as "Fourth Turning", so I picked it up. Hint: It was NEIL Howe and William STRAUSS.

Amazon's logarithm sent me down a rabbit hole that I will never recover from. "The Game" is a detailed story on the world of Pick up artists.

For those who don't know, pick up artists are marketers who go to clubs to pick up women. Essentially the book recounts the author's experience in this subculture.

Although none of them were psychologists, they implemented tools of psychology to influence other people's behaviour - mostly women.

One tool was a theory called Peacock theory.

Here's how it works: Pick up artists go to a club and wear the most outrageous clothes they can find to gather attention.

Imagine going to a club and seeing a guy with a lip ring, a velour hat, a fur boa around his neck, a leather vest, platform shoes, a few tattoos and tight leather jeans.

It would be hard not to wonder who the weirdo is. Is he a rockstar? Is he famous? He oozes confidence as he struts around the club. People talk to him. They want to know him because he might be famous. He's going to make friends. And if he's good at sales, he will take a girl home with him.

I peacock-ed one time on Halloween. I wore what looked like a baby bottle nipple on my head. It was supposed to look like the end of a condom. I was the human Penis. My T-shirt had a safe sex message with another condom behind a plastic window on my chest. I was 21 years old.

Although it was Halloween, I was still embarrassed.

It ended up being a lot of fun. 82 girls approached me that night. It looked funny. I was the only Penis in a room filled with cowboys, hippies, and rappers. Girls wanted to rub my head. It was the most attention I have ever received at the clubs.

That was marketing!!!

Don't look or act like your competitors.
Gather attention.
Attract potential customers to you.
Close the deal.

Peacocking gets attention.

Good marketing works exactly like peacocking.

Tell a compelling story that is "new, exciting or different". If you're story is boring, the PUA's would say you're another AFC (Average Frustrated Chump).

There is an area in the brain called Broca's area. It pays attention to "new, exciting or different". If your message is none of the three, Broca slams the door on the AFC.

AFC's don't get the customer.

When your business looks and acts different,

Some will hate your "style"...
You will be "unforgettable"...

You won't be an AFC anymore.

You'll get the customer's attention.
And if you're good at sales, you'll get the customer...

If you want help getting past Broca's area of the brain and you are ready for your marketing efforts to be unforgettable, you can reach me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com.



PS. Here's a picture of that human Penis

Precision decision

Making a decision is hard.

Not making one is painful.

The world rewards those who make decisions and eats up those who don't.

I had a boss who didn't like making decisions. He wanted to do the right things all the time. He analyzed a problem for months before making a decision. He preferred to take the big decisions to focus groups for their approval. He was in a position of leadership but he wasn't one.

He used focus groups as a crutch. He blamed the focus group for poor results and thus protected his job.

He was smarter than the average person. Very well read, he explained and taught the latest business principles to his disciples. I learned a lot from him.

Focus groups are not a good validation for any concept. 

There are two simple reasons: 

1. Perspective

2. Physiology

Let me explain.

1. Perspective

A person's expression of interest can be quite different than what they actually will do. They don't know they are lying. They think they know what they want, until it comes time to actually buy.

As a funny example, I owned two restaurants. When asked why customers chose our place, they talked about the healthy options. The top sold menu item had greasy bacon, greasy sausages, greasy potatoes, greasy ham, two pieces of toast greased with butter, with a couple of fruits as garnish. 

A buyer doesn't generally know what they would do until they have to do it. 

This is called Perspective. Without real conditions, perspective is biased, and probably wrong.

2. Physiology

Humans have two brains. The left brain is responsible for analysis and logic. The right brain takes care of intuition and creativity.

Great ideas are born and nurtured in the right brain. The left brain executes them in a methodical, engineered approach. When a great idea is shared in a group for analysis, the left brain goes to work trying to assess and predict its validity. It's not the left brain's job to assess creativity.

Similar to Perspective, Intuition cannot be challenged until you're in the middle of an important problem. That gut instinct cannot be summoned until it's time for immediate action.
Do you know what you would do or do you think you know what you would do?

Most of us think we know what we would do. Therefore, feedback on a hypothetical situation or product is purely speculation. Speculation boils on past experiences combined with future problems.

It's not wrong to get someone else's opinion, if you are unsure of yourself.
Don't blame them when things go bad. You are responsible not only for your opinions but the opinions of others that you decide to consult with.

Focus group consultation is dangerous.
Great businesses are not managed by committee.
Focus groups give feedback like a committee.
Tasks are handled by committees.
Not leadership.

Leadership is reserved for the bold!

We like working with the bold! If you are one of those leaders who are able to make decisions without the use of committees and you want help with your marketing, you can reach me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com.

Advertising is exactly like baseball

You need to hit a home run on your next swing or the business is bust.

As a marketer, I don't like home runs.

In baseball, a home run is a high risk, big reward swing.
Three little singles can yield the same result.
Hits are easier to get.
It takes longer to get a run, but once the bases are occupied, more runs come much easier.
In baseball terms, this is called "Small Ball".

"Small Ball" is the best way to make the biggest difference in your marketing efforts. Search for little hits that continue to encourage a customer to buy from your business. Three little hits and you have a run (or a sale).

There are four bases in baseball, so why is three the magic number? In baseball, a player on second base is considered in scoring position. If the third batter gets a hit, there's a good possibility the runner can score from second base.

In advertising, three is also the magic number. A frequency of 3 per week is the objective. Frequency is defined as the number of times a person hears or sees your ad in a week. 3 times per week over a 52 week buy is 156 times. That's lots of potential runs from the customer.

Small ball.

Hitting a homerun is fun and exciting.
You're a star when you hit one.
It clears the bases.
Most home run hitters are also the strike out leaders in baseball.
The best home run hitter in Major League Baseball in 2016 was Mark Trumbo. He hit 47 home runs in 613 at bats. That's a 7% chance of success. He struck out 170 times or 27.7% of the time.

He struck out almost 4 times more often than he hit a home run...

Despite what some advertisers will tell you, home runs are hard.
Hits are not.
Hits come from the crafting the right message and delivering it to the right people at the right time.

The problem with hits is it takes time to be rewarded for the efforts.

Most businesses can't afford to wait. They need results now. They need a home run. Yet they swing with a weak bunt.

Most advertising campaigns fail because the message is weak.

No one can hit a home run with a bunt.

When customers come to me looking for a home run, I send them to someone else. I don't hit home runs.  It's too risky.

I'm evaluated on results. Striking out is not an option. So I don't try.

My goal is to hit singles... a lot of them... It gets better results, in the long run.

Flaws are your strength.

Characters are built on four points of a character diamond. The NorthStar, the Counterstar, the Flaw, and the Core.

The Flaw is the most interesting of the four. It is the one that most marketers like to hide.

Our greatest weakness as perceived by others can also be our greatest strengths in the right circumstances.

Let me explain by sharing a quick story. 20 years ago I was sitting in a Montreal alley, letting a complete stranger draw my caricature. Aline and I were vacationing in the city and decided to check out the artists. It took about 20 minutes to sit for him.  When he was finished, he showed it to me. Aline said it looked exactly like me. I didn't agree.

The artist took a flaw from my face and accentuated it. He made it the focal point of my profile. There was one thing I wish I could change. And he turned it around and made it the hero of my face. 

Most of us hide our flaws behind a mask in order to protect ourselves. Flaws make us self conscious. They remind us we are not perfect.

Every good character has to have a flaw. It's what makes them real, memorable and remarkable.

Luke Skyywalker is a whiny turd.

Michael Corleone is in the mafia.

Sheldon Cooper is socially awkward.

The flaw rounds out the character and makes them interesting.  Without it, the character would be flat and boring. 

Most marketers don't display the flaw. They hide the character behind a mask, trying to convince customers to believe in the message. Yet, it is the flaw where ALL the magic lies.

Just like with the caricature artist, the flaw brings out our uniqueness. Marketing is about getting in a potential customer's head. To be memorable.

If everyone says the same thing, looks alike and acts the same way, then there is no differentiation in the market. 

I want to know the flaw or the vulnerability of my clients. It makes it easier for their narrative arc to be believable.

If you're marketing yourself or your business, remember that flaws are equally important to your perceived strengths.

In essence, it is your flaw that makes you stronger...

If you want to develop the character arc for your brand, you can contact me at ricknicholson369@gmail.com.

The cocaine of marketing

Imagine going to the doctor with no real ailments. But wanting to feel better, you ask for a prescription of cocaine.

Cocaine may solve a short term need but it has long term negative effects. Cocaine is not the answer. Proper diet and exercise is.

Discounting works the same way. It's never the real answer.

Yet, discounting is so appealing. It works so wonderfully well.
Put something on sale and customers buy it.
Sales spike.

Business is thriving...or so it seems.

Discounting is exactly like cocaine. It is less effective each and every time you snort it. The initial high is never as good as that first time. Eventually, customers don't even buy unless there's a discount.

Business erodes.
Profits sink.
Sickness prevails.

The retail industry has become heavily addicted to discounting.

In the battlefield of retail, businesses look for reasonable excuses to put another sale on the window. The traditional reasons to buy for Valentines Day, Easter, Summer break, Back to School, and Christmas are too far apart. Retail needs other reasons to keep customers coming within the two months of each occasion.

Those reasons feed the addiction. The addiction to looking for a sale.

Retail started advertising "Black Friday" deals about four years ago in Canada.

It doesn't make sense to me. Black Friday doesn't mean anything to Canadians. Traditionally, Black Friday is the unofficial start to the Christmas shopping season in the United States. It follows American Thanksgiving, as the last Friday of November.

Canadian Thanksgiving is in October. Black Friday is just another Friday. The unofficial start of Christmas shopping in Canada has long been immediately following Remembrance Day.

In an industry where it seems like everyone is addicted to the same drug, it has become the norm for consumers to look for the deal.

And look we will.

Until someone gives us a better deal.

When consumers look for deals, there is no loyalty to brands, products or businesses. The sale becomes transactional.

No wonder retail stores close so frequently.
Their competitive advantage is based on price.
And price is always the easiest and fastest thing to copy.

In the words of Roy Williams, "Most retailers are twitchy little weasels".

My advice to retailers:
Don't be a twitchy little weasel.
Don't be lured in by the powder.
It won't make you feel better long term.
It will kill you.

Come up with a better competitive advantage.
And watch you're coke laced neighbours die off over time.