Are you a shy guy (gal)?

For years I labelled myself as being shy. I watched my father interact with ease. I observed people make friends without effort. Talking to someone took great effort on my part unless I knew them really well. I can make "small talk" with anyone. But it takes great effort on my part. I was told that I was just shy.

Here's what I was told about shyness. Shyness is a derivative of a lack of confidence and self esteem. That didn't make sense to me. I wasn't lacking in those two areas. I learned around 16 how to fix the shy. Just add alcohol. And repeat. So during university, I drank 3-4 nights per week. I was the animal on campus. It felt like I knew everyone.

That wasn't a long term solution. I thought about how alcohol could play a role in my daily life. I understood how some could twirl into alcoholism, not to escape but to be released of the cursed shyness virus.

Then it all started to come together. I watched an employee blossom from a 14 year old boy to a young man. I watched him as he made friends super easily. I listened to him as he became president of his high school and then again as he pursued his studies into medicine. This guy is a mover and a shaker. He is so outgoing, you can't help but love him. I don't know anyone who doesn't like him. He just has that personality. We all know people like this, right?

Then I went to Texas and learned something else. People are either introverts or extroverts. I thought I knew what they difference was until it was explained this way.

Extroverts get energy from being around other people. The employee I worked with was an extreme extrovert.

Introverts get energy from being in solitude. In fact, introverts love people. They just find it very draining.

For years, I thought I was an outgoing person. When in fact when the tests were done, I was an extreme introvert. I love being around people. But when it comes time, I am more than excited to leave, unless you add alcohol.

Anyone who's ever done a hard day of physical labour will know what it's like to say, "I'm beat". Barely able to lift the fork to eat your supper, they head off to bed because of the body fatigue that has consumed every inch of their being. Being around many people has the same effect on an introvert on an emotional scale.

The next time you see someone that you know and they don't feel like talking, don't take it personal. I bet they are not mad at you. They're probably an introvert like me and they're just beat.