Happy New Day

Today is New Years Eve.

Flush away the past year and look forward to fresh beginnings. Looking back and seeing all the shit, it seems like a lot of people are happy to freshen up the toilet, not realizing there's a fresh batch of dung waiting for them in the coming year.

I get the concept. Have a few drinks. Enjoy a party. Put away the old clothes and look to brighter days as the new year get rung in at midnight.

But wait a minute. This is all just figurative thinking.

January 1 is no different than July 18 or March 5 or October 21.

They are all just days.

Under the thinking of figurative thinking, why aren't we celebrating every day at midnight.

Every day at the strike of 12 am brings in a new day. We can flush the day before and hope for new promises as we bring in a fresh set of 24 hours.

That would be too frequent. No one can party that much, except for my buddy Bernie.

A new year is nothing more than a fresh set of downs. Like in football, you'll either score or you'll have to kick the ball back to your opponent.

The same goes for a day.

But since we put so little value on days, we don't hold them as precious as we do years.

We only have double digit years in our lives. Days are too numerous to count, so we don't.

New Year's Day is JUST another day.

Like my grandpa told me once, everyday I'm above ground is another good day.

So instead of wishing people Happy New Years, I wish you instead "Happy New Day".

Unpopular decisions

I'm going to say something that is going to be unpopular.

Before you gather together and plan out a lynching, please hear me out.

Popular decisions are made to please the majority of the audience.
They aren't necessarily good.
They aren't necessarily right.

If I wanted to be popular with my kids, I'd give them everything they ever wanted.
Doesn't sound that smart.

I make decisions in my household that I think are best for my family, despite how unpopular they may be.

But I'm not looking for re-election as daddy in four years.
I'm not looking to boost my ratings in the polls.

In consultation of my co-parent, we make decisions even if the rest of the household is pissed off.

Maybe that's the problem with a democracy.

If you are in a democracy, give the people what the want.
What do they want?

MORE.

This is a rant based on one of my "pet peeves". I recently heard about another minimum wage increase.

And it pisses me off.

I believe everyone should be able to earn more.
But minimum wage doesn't do anything but put more taxes in the governments' pockets.

Let me demonstrate:
If the average person words 40 hours a week with 2 weeks vacation per year, he will work 2000 hours per year.

An increase of $0.50 will give that employee an extra $1000 in annual earnings, before taxes.

Assuming a tax rate of 25%, the employee taxes home an extra $750 in the year.

Yay! That's great news. $750 is more than they had the year before.

But let's look what happens in a free market.

The employer who hired that employee doesn't like to lose profit margin.
So she raises her prices and so do her competitors. If the $0.50 represents a 5% increase in labour costs, the employer raises her prices by 5%.

So if the employer owned a grocery store, prices across the sales mix go up an average of 5%, just to cover off labour. If there other inflationary pressures like energy, interest rates or exchange rates, that number could easily be 10%.

An average family of four will spend about $100 per week on groceries. That's $5200 per year. A 5% increase in the cost of groceries will result in an increase of $260 spent on groceries the following year.

Minimum wage increase has now put an extra $490 in the family's coffers. But if the prices at the grocery store had to go up by 10%, the family now only has $230 extra at the end of the year. That's an extra $4.42 per week. That's barely enough to buy two coffees per week. The price of coffee will also have gone up due to their employees making the minimum wage increase.

Now imagine this. The amount of people exiting the workforce is the biggest it has ever been. Retirees no longer work for minimum wage. They no longer depend on government assisted wage legislation.

Retirees, on fixed incomes, have less and less disposable income because the price of necessities continue to rise.

Minimum wage increases are popular decisions. But it doesn't change anything. The base of poverty moves to a new higher number. And by doing that, new categories of people fall into the poor class.

Minimum wage increases reduces jobs and increases taxes. It doesn't encourage investment. It is an economy killer.

There will always be abuse. Employers have taken advantage of the unskilled labour force and for that government stepped in to protect the employee.

Unions have done the same.

Minimum wage is the least of our problems. In the politics playbook, it says, "when you're down in the polls, increase minimum wage to increase your popularity."

Who does minimum wage increases help?
I believe the only winners are politicians who've dipped in the polls.

But this is a democracy.
If yon't don't like it, leave.
If you don't like it, vote in a new party next time.

That's what we've been doing in this province for the past 15 years.
How has that rhetoric worked out for us?

It's time for unpopular decisions.
Some of the kids won't like it.
But they don't always know what's good for them.

C'mon daddy, step up and be the leader. Stop your political bullshit.

We can't afford it anymore. Time is running out.

Zoom, zoom

The thrill of the race starts with everyone at the starting position. Ready to take off, revving the engines. The exhilaration of going around the track is all the fun we need the first time we get going.

Get around the track and don't crash. Take it slow if you have to. The goal is to finish. Winning would be great, but not necessary.

The light is red. No one is allowed to move.
Then it turns green, and everyone takes off.

The car starts off slowly, as the engine is full of life.
Picking up speed, the transmission shifts into second gear, then third.

Who cares about finishing, this is fun.
Let's go faster.

Pushing in the clutch, and shifting into fourth and then fifth, the world zooms by as the speed continues to go higher.

100 mph, 110, 120...

Zoom, zoom.

The surroundings become a blur. We can't tell who's watching and who's not.
We're focussed on the race. We have to stay on the road. Speed is the desire.

Zoom, zoom.

The race gets faster as finish line approaches.
The car used to be much slower.
Life used to be slower.

As we look forward to our goals, our vacations, our retirement, time zooms by like a jet fighter until all time stops.

The race will then be over.
We will be dead.
And someone else will take our place as driver of another car in the same race.

Zoom, zoom.

Dealing with my depression

The dark cloud creeps slowly into my mind without a slight hint of a storm.
The storm sneaks up like a burglar, without any notice.
And when it enters, it plays a game of pool with my thoughts, to have a little fun before ransacking my brain.

The pool ball doesn't know that any pocket will do. The burglar doesn't care. He wants to play around. He selfishly toys with my emotions for his own amusement.

And life gets darker in the process.

The slippery slope of depression affects one in three people. I don't know what causes it, just like I'm not 100% certain what causes happiness.

When I'm feeling stormy, I'm useless. I put on a mask and smile, while I cry inside.
Have you ever tried to work and cry at the same time?

I'm not much of an outside cryer, so admitting this is tough for me.

Expressing my feelings isn't easy to start with. Furthermore, the little voice inside me won't stop whispering negative thoughts. Each day that passes, the whisper gets louder, until it gets to a deafening scream.

I cope with my storm by turning off the thought thief's voice.  The only way I have figured out how to turn him off is by getting busy.  Getting busy isn't easy when I can't even find the motivation to have a shower.

In this funk, I secretly wish:
Someone would hold me.
Someone would praise me.

The darkness lifts after a few days.
The storm clouds disappear.
The skies clear with rays of sunshine pouring warmth into my life once again.
Life gets back to my normal while I clean up the debris the storm blew in.

What you want is not what you get

You get what you deserve. Getting is what is given to you when you’re ready to receive it. If you’re not ready to receive it, you get what you are ready to receive.

I'm not talking about the negative things that happen in our lives. I'm talking about the positive desired outcomes that we don't seem to get.

Life is like that. Crunchable, bite size portions so we don’t choke on our food. 

Lottery players dream of winning the lottery only to be pushed into another week of dreaming.

In extreme circumstances, the winner of the lottery spends their new found money within five years. They get rich in money. They stay poor in thinking.

More money makes people stupid.

But there's hope.

Look at your life and analyze what you really want.

Then ask yourself why you don’t have it yet without blaming other people or circumstances.

The life you lead is yours and no one else’s. The reason you might not have something is because you’re not ready for it.

You think you’re ready. But you have a blindspot. 

What could your blindspot be?

What are you not taking into consideration?

Let’s use a different example. Some people want world peace. It’s impossible to want world peace when you can’t get along with your spouse, sister or children.

So how could people want more money when they don’t know how to manage the money they have? More money doesn’t solve today’s problems. It just makes the old problems bigger.

You get what you deserve, because life is played like a game.

You can’t collect $200 until you pass Go. You have to go around the same path a few times before you have enough money to buy that house. You have to accumulate income producing assets to generate wealth.

The lottery isn’t the answer.

That one business idea isn’t the answer.

The answer is you.

You have to work harder, work smarter, think faster and interpret patterns that already exist but no one else sees.

You will get what you deserve.

So how do you change what you deserve?

How committed are you to changing? How hard are you willing to change in order to be ready to receive life’s next great gift?

Answer those questions and you’ll get exactly what you deserve when you’re ready.

How to evaluate a business

There are a number of different ways to evaluate a business's value.

Here's how I simply evaluate them. There's only one question that matters: Can you make a reasonable return on your investment given the amount of profit left over at the end of the year?

I define reasonable as 20-25%.

A typical rule of thumb that I like to use is 3 - 5 times EBITDA. EBITDA is an accounting term that stands for "Earnings Before Interest Taxes Depreciation and Amortization". To calculate it, you take the profit before taxes and add back in any interest, depreciation and amortization. Multiply that number by 3 and 5 and you have the low and high ranges of the business value.

If you can't calculate a business on profit because there isn't any, it doesn't mean the company is worthless.

If the business has real assets like inventory or equipment, the value can be determined at a percentage of the depreciated asset value on the balance sheet.

For instance, a restaurant that has no profit may have equipment worth $200,000 for sale. There is obviously value in the equipment. The question of how much value is dependant on the motivation of the seller and the willingness of the buyer. 

I recently talked to a business owner who had profits of $100,000 but wanted $800,000 for his business. At 8 times EBITDA, I immediately wanted to look at the balance sheet. The balance sheet had assets valued at $320,000. 

The value of his business is worth $300,000 to $400,000 to me.

Unfortunately, it is worth twice that to him.

A motivated buyer who overpays for a business is going to have below average returns on his investment. The buyer also jeopardizes the viability of the business when he overpays. The financial commitment might be too high for any return. Securing bank financing will almost be impossible. 

When a business is worth more to the seller than it is to the buyer, a deal is hard to do.

For any deal to happen, you need both a willing buyer and a motivated seller.

If the seller isn't motivated, then a reasonable deal will be as difficult as pulling your own teeth with a set of pliers without a shot of whisky.

Evaluate the motivation of the seller before talking price. Don't waste your time with someone who is looking for a 100% premium above the EBITDA value or the depreciated asset value. Make an initial reasonable offer. If the seller doesn't respond positively, walk away.

There can be no deal if the seller's expectation is unreasonable.

A story about what happens with office technology

Once upon a time, a young kid, Sam, graduated from university. He didn't know much about computers, but he was always willing to try new things. Screwing things up didn't scare him.

The boss, Doug, hated computers and limited his usage to sending and receiving emails. Even then, if the young man wanted an answer before next week, he was better off dropping by the office. The boss was used to a different time when all notes were dictated and typed by a secretary on her typewriter.

The young man could see brilliance in his boss's eyes. But his technical skills on a computer were equal to a three year old's penmanship.

There was another person, John, working with Sam who was the same age as Doug. He liked his job, but computers were getting the best of him. He felt like they would break if he hit the wrong key. He was afraid of them ever since the manual work had gone on them.

The computers sensed it.

And the computers got stronger. And with it so did the internet.  Doug and John liked the internet. They could see sports scores and news highlights. Even Facebook was a blessing. They could find friends they hadn't seen in 25 years.

The day to day tasks on the computer got harder and more complicated. Most of the easy stuff got transferred to smart phones.  The young kid was getting older. He grew into the internet, but didn't grow up with it.

Sam was now forty years old. His boss and John were fully struggling in their careers. Doug and John never had smart phones. They didn't even like cell phones. The young kid would do most of their computerized work for them until the company recognized how much of a burden they were. The two older guys were downsized and ended up working at Walmart until they retired.

Sam continued to work but every year got harder. New systems were released every 90 days. Phones made him accessible 24/7. There was no shut off switch from office emails. Change was harder to accept.

Why can't we just do it the old way?
It used to work before.
It will still work now.

Sam's new boss was 25 years old. He grew up with the internet. He had computers in his house since he could walk. Change was the only thing normal in his life.

Sam no longer could keep up to the kids. They were all quicker on the new technology than he was.

Sam was still smart. But a lot of the stuff he knew didn't matter in the way things were done now.

The work world had changed. And he didn't see it.

Then it hit him. He was exactly like Doug and John. He had kept current on the technology he understood. Until it passed him by.

Technology will always move faster than our willingness to learn it.

Unfortunately, our willingness slows down increasingly with age.

A major crisis has to happen every 80 years

Major wars generally happen every 80 years.

It's not time that is relevant. It's the people.
Time doesn't click that way. People do.
Time does not exist. It is an illusion people created to bring structure to their existence.

Here's why wars have to happen every 80 years.

A generation is defined by a group of people born roughly within a twenty year period. It takes four generations to completely forget the problems of its 80 year old predecessors.

We raise our kids the way we wanted our parents to raise us. We fix the deficiencies of the past and thus create new ones unknowingly.

These deficiencies repeat themselves every four generations.  It's like the earth needs 365.25 turns before it completes one cycle around the sun.

We need four generations to return to our starting point as a civilization.

In Strauss-Howe's book "Fourth Turning", the authors demonstrate how every major crisis was started when a "Hero" generation comes of age.

The hero generation hasn't been seen since they fought the Nazis.
Heros have re-emerged in the millennial generation.

Why can Donald Trump win the US election?
He offered in the last election and nobody took him serious.

His message is as obnoxious as her hairdo. His arrogance hasn't subdued. He promises the exact same things as he did four years ago.

But this time, people are listening.
Some might think that everyone's tired of the same old political rhetoric.

Trump might be considered a breath of fresh air that way.

Four years ago, the hero generation wasn't ready to influence the rest of the population.
Now they are.  Some of them are 33 years old.

The Hero generation is biting at the bit to get into a fight. They don't want to talk about fixing the world like their "Nomad" parents did before them.

They are going to fix it.

North America is about to go through a major crisis. Nothing like it has never seen in 80 years.

The Heros are lining up.

Musing of a troubled mind

The harder I try, the harder it gets.

The faster I run, the farther I move away from my goal.

I don't know if this makes any sense, but everything I was taught about trying might be wrong. Remember when we were younger, our teachers would encourage us by saying, "You just need to try harder".

Yoda says there is no try, just do.

I know what I want.
I've been sending mixed messages.
Because I'm in conflict with what I want and what I need to do.

Does anyone else out there ever feel like they are settling in order to get what they need.

I don't believe strong enough that everything will be ok without total effort.
I have tried to believe before without result.

There I go again, using that messy "T" word.

Once in my life, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I chased it until I got it. It took me 22 months to get it.  The lesson I learned was persistence was the key to achievement. Interestingly enough, the thing I got wasn't what I wanted. I sold it after 7 years only to put me in the exact position I was 10 years ago.

Am I going crazy?

I don't think anything comes easy. I think challenges are God's way of asking us if we are serious about our wishes.

Challenges are a person's way to self-select out of an opportunity.

I do this all the time with people who want to work with me.
Why wouldn't God use the same strategy on me?

I don't want to survive. Anyone can do that.
I want to thrive.
I want to leave something on this earth after I die.

My wife thinks my desire is primal. She thinks our inability to have biological children drives my fire to create something else.

Could it be that an inability to plant a seed drives a desire to make something else remarkable?

Awesome Aline is smart in the way of these things.
I think she's right.

Funny-Weird or Funny-Haha

I sit here and I write about my cat walking by my sofa. He's a funny kitty. Actually he's not that funny. He's never once told me a joke.

He's funny-weird, not funny-haha.

We're all a bit weird, don't ya think?

It's our weirdness that makes us unique.
It's our weirdness that embarrasses our kids.

I remember a moment when I was embarrassed of my parents. I was 13. I was invited to my first house party. My parents dropped me off at the end of the street at my request so none of my friends would see them. But little did I know, there were three girls walking on the other side of the street when my dad stopped. They were going to the same party. I was frozen with fear. My dad always did shit to get a laugh out of people.

They all said hi to my parents. Dad pulled out his comedy routine and the girls giggled. Not sure if they giggled because of the awkardness or if they actually thought he was funny.

Now that I'm older, I've come to appreciate him much more. He is funny. The stupid teenager in me couldn't see that past his hormones.

That's too bad! It was a waste of good times between father and son.

I'm traumatizing my kids today doing the same stupid shit my dad pulled on me.

I think I'm funny.
They don't.

I hope one day they do.

Am I funny-weird or funny-haha?

Who knows for sure?

The meeting of a lifetime

Anyone who meets me for the first time will think I'm shy. I tend to listen and not speak.

Confidence is not a skill I lack.
Except when it came to courting girls in my youth.

I got around the problem with alcohol. Large doses of it...
Except when it came to one specific girl.

We worked together. I walked by her everyday at the front desk and hurriedly whispered "hello" on the way to my cubicle. She was pretty, but I did not know her.

My friends told me great stories about her.
She was out of my "league".

My two best friends wanted to go camping. They were living together so any camping was going to end up with them getting cuddly, while I sat coldly on the other side of the campfire. Having been down the third wheel path with them before, I declined the invitation unless we brought another person, preferably female.

They invited the front desk girl, who immediately accepted. Intimidated by her beauty, I asked my  friend to drive with me while his girlfriend and the front desk girl drove in a separate car.

We arrived at the campground, laughed, joked, played some stupid games and drank. We had two tents: one for the lovebirds and one for me and the front desk girl. That's a lot of pressure for two strangers. So we drank and talked while the lovebirds expectedly cuddled on the other side of the campfire.

I was nervous. I drank a bit too much. Yet I remained a gentleman. My mom would've been so proud. Once we got back to the tent, I curled into my sleeping bag at farthest side of the tent so as not to offend or scare off my new roommate. As I slowly slipped into sleep, I noticed my companion didn't have a pillow. With a pillow and an extra blanket, I offered her mine. At first she refused, but once she realized I wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, she took it. I didn't need the benefit of a pillow. The alcohol helped soothed me into a dreamy sleep with the extra blanket nestled beneath my head.

That night sparked a friendship. Although she smelled like other girls, she was different.

A few weeks later, she called me to go see a movie. It still sounded like a friendship, but other "girl" friends had never done that.

At the moves, she asked if I wanted to play tennis sometime. After tennis, he asked if I wanted go to dinner sometime.

I think about that time and wonder what I was thinking. She clearly liked me. But history tells a story the present does not always know.

In each moment, it wasn't clear if the front desk girl wanted a friend or a boyfriend. So as much as I was really enjoying her company, I played it cool. I had been down the confusing road of friend versus boyfriend before. I was happy to have a new friend and didn't want to ruin a good thing by pushing the wrong buttons.

So in my non-aggressive way, the front desk girl wasn't sure if I was interested in her.

I invited her over to watch a movie at my apartment. I popped in a movie starring Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. I had no idea what "Bridges of Madison County" was about.  About ten minutes into the movie, I rubbed I my elbow. I played a lot of softball that summer and tendonitis had crept into my right elbow.

The front desk girl offered to rub it for me.
Boom!  Now I knew she liked me.

You never have to sell to someone who is willing to buy.

She started to rub my sore elbow and leaned in for a magical touch of the lips. She leaned in and I'm sure someone started playing a harp in the room.

Our first kiss was in a basement apartment watching a movie about a middle aged woman's internal struggle of loyalty versus adultery.

Two months later I proposed marriage to the front desk girl.
Two years after that, I married the girl of my dreams.

The little front desk girl is not only my wife, she's also my business partner, the mother of my children and to this day my best friend.

Who would've known that a whispered hello would result into a lifetime of meaning?

All Nazis were German

Not all Germans were Nazis.

Just like not all white people are Klan members.

There are assholes in every race or religion. I used to have an asshole neighbour. It didn't mean everyone on my street was like him.

And the same goes for Muslims.

To classify an entire group of people into a category based on colour of skin, race or religion is by definition racism.

Why do some of our "so called" friends do this?

They are afraid.

Or, maybe the shroud of their actual beliefs come out when they are stressed. Just like orange juice comes out of an orange when we squeeze it. Maybe some of the people we know are just plain racist.

Fear can cause people to do crazy things.

Do you know what is the opposite of fear?

Faith.

These are crazy times. But we must not be afraid of what "might" happen.
Fear is not given to us. We create it. Terrorist can't create fear. They can only set the stage. Fear has to be manufactured by us. It's an emotion.

To be afraid is our fault. Stop blaming the assholes.
In these trying times, it is now more important than ever to have faith that everything will be ok.

And if it isn't?
Death is inevitable.

If some asshole decides to bomb my house, run me off the road or behead me, I have to accept my fate. But I won't be afraid. I believe the likelihood of it happening is so small. It's not worth the worry. Life too short. I will live until I no longer can't.

I'm not afraid of terrorists. I'm afraid of the people I have known my whole life succumbing to a fear that isn't real.

Paris was a tragedy. Assholes did that. I sympathize with the French.
Kenya happened six months earlier. Assholes were responsible for that too. No one changed their Facebook profile picture in support of the Kenyans who lost their lives.

France is a world economic superpower. Kenya's gift to the world is marathon runners.

People were affected by both terrorism acts.

Brown, Black or white, there are assholes everywhere.

It's time we stop worrying about what could happen. We could die tomorrow. We don't need a terrorist for that.

Just because there are a bunch of assholes in the world doesn't give us the right to increase the population of them.

Put crazy away. There's enough of it already in the world. Let's be more humane to each other.

The mask

We played together
We laughed at the same jokes
We cried when life looked us in the eye
We drank and were merry
But do you know me
How could you?
I barely know myself
I've been wearing a mask my whole life
Hiding from the world
Hiding from you
Hiding from me
And all I want is escape
The life I live is not my own
It is yours, in which I play a role for you to see
I desire to be free
Like an eagle
Majestic, king of the wind
Living a life of extraordinary luxury
With no consequence
Life is dark
Life is lonely
Life is short
You think you know me.
You know my mask
I wear it well.

Need vs Want

You can't always have what you want.
But if you try sometimes.
You get what you need.

Balancing life's priorities with life's desires are two different fish.
It's like comparing a brook trout to a tuna.

We do what we need to do in order to get what we want to do.

The responsible adult struggles with this compromise.
We live a life of desires, through a life of necessity.

Compromising individuals find happiness in life's little treasures. Those who will not compromise live a life of misery and bliss. Life's little treasures are found in life's style. And you can't have lifestyle without style.

There is no middle ground. The smart choice is compromise.

But there's a cost to compromise. It cannot be measured through inaction.

The drug of desire pushes the unsettled into action.

The smoke of need hides our true intentions.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
I don't know. I'll tell you when I grow up.

Suffering from multiple personality disorder

I'm going to tell you something today that I've never shared with anyone, including my wife or my mom.

There are days I wake up and the world is a simple game that can be won. Other days, I would rather die than leave the couch. I can't explain it. The more I think, the worse it gets. If I do non-thinking tasks like watching tv or playing video games, the feelings go away. Some people  may call it bi-polar. But I'd rather not.

I think we all suffer from dual polarity.  It's the extreme cases that get our attention. It's the people who can't escape the lows without help that become dangerous.

I'm not like that. Most likely, neither are you.

I also suffer from a light case of multiple personality disorder. It's never been diagnosed either.

The personality who talks to my mother is a confident Sheldon Cooper.
The guy who talks to my dad is a non-technical Red Green.
When I talk to my sister an less funny Jerry Seinfeld emerges.
My wife would say I'm more like a smart Charlie Brown.

I've noticed that a different character shows up when I need him. It's my mask that I wear in order to live in this complicated world.

Chances are you don't know the real me.

You've only seen the character I allow out when we meet.

I don't think I'm not alone.

In Michael Gerber's E-Myth, the author suggests business owners have three personalities inside of us.
The technician who desires to do the work.
The manager who desires control and lives in the past.
The entrepreneur who is a dreamer and lives in the future.

He thinks every business owner struggles with the conflict of these personalities. And he uses a simple example to explain his point.

Each of us have the skinny and fat personality. If we want to lose weight, one day the skinny person makes the decision to buy the equipment necessary to shed unneeded pounds. He decides to eat better. And in the first few weeks, the skinny guy loses a couple of pounds. The commitment increases. The skinny guy is motivated to continue with increased vigour. Then one day, the results aren't there. The bathroom scale doesn't move. Disappointment sets in a bit as the fat guy shows his shadow telling the skinny guy "I told you so". The next day it rains, or we're tired, or we have too much to do, and the fat guy shows up in full form. We then rationalize why we can't do what we were doing. We break our habits and the fat personality takes over what was always his.

If you have struggled with weight loss, as I have, you know this story all too well.

Business owners struggle with the three personalities.

I believe everyone struggles with a light case of multiple personality disorder.

If not, I might be going mad.

You play to win the game

In sport, we learn to compete. The competitive nature in me makes it hard for me to dial back the intensity while I watched my kids play soccer. I was asked to coach but I declined in fear that my competitiveness would send the wrong message to the kids.

Youth sport is supposed to promote participation and fun. But I noticed in the first year of my kids'  soccer season, the kids tried to keep score. They wanted to win. It wasn't about participation. It was about scoring goals (having glory) and winning (succeeding).

In the words of famous football coach Herman Williams, "You play to win the game!" And it is engrained in us to try to win, even when no one is seemingly keeping score.

The philosophy of winning translates to life, even if we don't think it should. We compete. We try to win. We live to win the game. I'm told life isn't a game.

But it is. We compete with ourselves.  We compete with our neighbours, and our friends.

We know life is supposed to be fun. However, just like youth soccer, we secretly keep score even if we know we're not supposed to.

No one's keeping track. Right?

Italians know style

When we hear the word Italy, we think exotic, sexy, inviting. Italy is just another country, but anything made there is given a heightened brand perception.

Italian is a romantic language for a reason. The romance capital of the world is in Venice. 

Italy is sexy. It calls our name in that sweet, erotic voice. Luring us into its clutches with its beauty. Within its grasp are all things made in the land of love.

Owning an Italian suit says a lot about the man. 

Italian leather has no equal.

Italian food is communal: coffee, pasta, pizza.

The rolling of r's in the language arouses men and women equally.

Would a Ferrari be as sweet if called by any other name?
More importantly, would it be as sweet if it were made in any other country?

What we buy tells a story

We are telling the story of ourselves everyday, though our actions.

We buy what we buy to tell the world and remind ourselves who we are.

Think about that for a minute. The type of car you own is screaming to the world the type of person you are. You bought a Honda or Toyota because you're willing to pay a little more for peace of mind. Or maybe you would rather have a BMW, but Honda is in the budget.  You own a Dodge Caravan or a Hyundai because you don't believe in spending superfluously. Or maybe you own a VW because you love the outdoors and beat the music to your own drum. You own a sportscar because you love adventure. It could be the adventure today or a memory to relive the past.

If you sell a product, customers are buying for these very reasons.  Every person is different. I buy a Honda because I secretly want a BMW but can't justify it.

That's called laddering. We buy what we can afford, until we can afford more. Then we ladder up. If the product cannot ladder up, we buy the next brand that helps us feel like we've laddered.

It's like playing with toys. We play with our toys until we grow up and play with bigger toys.

When you have a strong brand, clients typically hate the other brands. I am a Honda guy. I hate the other brands in the same category. But I don't hate BMW because in my opinion, they don't play the same game.

I hate any computer brand not Apple. Most people who own Dell, Acer, HP, Lenovo wouldn't say that about their PC. Apple is the strong brand in personal computers.

Tim Horton's fans don't understand Starbucks fans. And vice versa. Both are strong brands. Don't go to Tim Horton's with a laptop, you'll feel like the Vichy government at the end of World War II. And if you don't want to be stared at, don't go to Starbucks with your muddy steel toe workboots. That's what drive thru windows were made for.

Come to think of it, I buy Starbucks coffee to prove to myself that I deserve a BMW.  It's funny how $5 coffee acting as an affordable luxury can take away the sting of not buying an amazing car.

I look out in the parking lot and I see four Hondas, three Toyotas, an Acura (a more expensive Honda), two Volkswagens, a Chevrolet and Ford truck and a Saturn.

It's not an exact science but I bet the majority of Starbucks clients also secretly want BMW's. The BMW dealerships should be working on a cross promotion with Starbucks. They will sell more cars to the aspiring but overly responsible crowd.

The secret to killing your competition

The term beach head comes from war. It is a defended position on a beach taken from an enemy by landing forces from which an attack can be launched.

Business is war. Everyday competitors try to take each others clients.  The war becomes bloody unless someone has a  clear strategic advantage.

In the past strategic advantages were created by being the first to advertise to the masses. Procter and Gamble proved with their brands how to create the beach head through the usage of mass media. And today the list is seemingly endless. Look at this picture for a sample size of P&G's products.

If terrorists have taught us anything, you never fight a war head on against a war machine. So what do terrorists do? They use guerrilla warfare. They attack their competitor in ways that would never be expected.

Fighting big companies like P&G head on would be insane. Yet through guerrilla warfare, you can carve out a beach head unknown to your competitor and take a few customers at a time.

Today carving out a beach head is easier than ever before. Mass media used to be the way to get your brand well known. It's only good today if you have the same amount of money that the big advertisers have. They established their beach head and built a fortified city around it. You ain't getting in.

So don't play that game.

Beach heads are found in virgin pastures. Look at your industry and research what no one else is willing to do. Then go do it.

If you own a daycare and no one is advertising on radio, you have your opportunity.
If you own a massage therapy clinic and no one is saying anything remarkable, be bold.
If you own a garbage removal business, and your competitors don't measure cleanliness of its employees, you know what you need to do. Then figure out how to measure it.
If you own a convenience store and no one is offering "old time, customer service values", then you get back to the basics.
If you own a restaurant and no one is using fresh, local products, then you use only fresh local products.
If you own a caulking company and no one has a cool name, you call your company "The Mother Caulkers".
If you own a yoga studio and no one is doing anything remarkable, you offer speed dating at the end of the yoga session because guys are checking out the girls anyways.
If you own a pet supply store you set up displays of dog food like they do in grocery stores.
If you own a coaching business, you offer free clinics to youth sport organizations for their volunteer coaches.

I can go on all day. Nothing is ever won by doing it the way your competitors are doing it. You have to create a beach head in an area where your enemies aren't expecting. Once you do that, the marketing takes care of itself.

Most small businesses have not figured out how to effectively market themselves online. They think a Facebook page, a twitter and linkedin account is what they need to do. The beach head cannot be found there because most competitors are already there.

Where's your beach head?

It's exactly where no one will expect you to be.

Go claim it. The world is waiting for your greatness to show up.

Some rules were meant to be bent

Without rules, we supposedly have anarchy. Rules are in place to protect someone or something or even ourselves.

We've always had rules as a society. It apparently keeps social order. Have you ever wondered about stupid rules? Stupid rules like driving and talking hands free at the same time. Research has proven that talking hands free is just as dangerous as talking with a hand on the phone. Yet one is a driving offence punishable by fine and the other is a socially accepted practice.

The emergence of vapour cigarettes has reared another stupid rule. No one is allowed to suck on their vape pipes within 25 feet of a building. Not liking the smell of cigarette smoke, I wonder why vapers are considered just as disgusting. I've been in the same room as people who use them and I don't smell anything. And I hate the smell of tobacco.

Doing some consulting work with professionals, I've discovered an all important crutch called "A code of ethics".

We all live by a code of ethics, whether they are written down or not. They are called values. Our core values are the things we will or will not do.

Unfortunately some organizations write them down as core beliefs only to be engraved on a plaque and hung on a wall so that everyone can ignore them when they walk in the front door each morning.

Professionals, like doctors, dentists, chiropractors, belong to a thing called an association. Within that association, there is a rigid code of ethics that must be followed. Usually that code defines what "professional" is so that other members of the association do not disintegrate the value of the professional title.

Talking to a potential client recently got my blood boiling. She informed me of all the stupid rules she had to adhere to in her marketing because of the code of ethics in her association. If she was kicked out of her association, she could potentially lose her license to legally practice her craft.

Not understanding that world, I needed to learn more about professional conduct in that somewhat exclusive environment. More importantly, I wanted if there were any examples of professionals giving the "middle finger" to their association's stupid rules.

There are all kinds of examples.

About eight years ago, a young orthodontist needed to grow his business. There were many competitors in town. The only ways he could increase business was to buy a retiring orthodontist's "book of business", work with dentists to get referrals and word of mouth marketing from existing customers. That's how all his competitors worked. Typically, a customer wouldn't show up at his office. They would get referred first.

He decided that radio advertising would a good place to start considering none of his competitors were going after customers that way. His association told him he was breaking their professional code of ethics. To which he politely told them to fuck off. They threatened to pull his membership to which he threatened legal action. All to not, the association backed down and the orthodontist started radio advertising.

Today he has the biggest practice in his town. Others are trying to copy him in his marketing strategies but he built such a beach head of customers that as long as he keeps breaking stupid rules, he will continue to be a huge success.

All his competitors had the same opportunity.

Another example about 12 years ago in a different town, a young dentist was trying to build his book of business. The code of ethics police required that no dentist could have an ad in the Yellow Pages greater than two lines. Each dentist was required to look, sound and act the same in their advertising. In the real world of marketing, the association wanted everyone to be a bunch of cows.

Here's what was interesting about this example. The association's board was made up of other dentists who had made their money, and were protecting their own interests. They took the hard road to building their business and they wanted the young dentists to do the same. More importantly by protecting their own interests, the value of their business wouldn't erode at its eventual sale date.

The young dentist challenged the code of ethics and put an ad substantially larger than his competitors. To which the association started to remove him from their group. Removal from the association would have meant he would lose his license and couldn't practice dentistry anymore.

He informed the board to back off or he would proceed with legal action. With a bit of back and forth, the association could not prove a violation of professional conduct and dropped their stupid shenanigans.

There are two examples of code of ethics not applying to marketing. Being part of professional association does not stop anyone from doing what is required to be a success. Hide behind the cloak and someone is going to take advantage of the opportunity. Throw the cloak aside and get ready for the onslaught of criticism as well as paying customers.

Nothing comes easy. Winning means have a successful business or job that gives you everything you want out of life.

If you play by the rules, you might win if you're smart enough, live long enough and have enough money to get your through tough times.

If you play to win, you have a better likelihood when you bend the rules.

Ask Tom Brady, quarterback of the New England Patriots.

The language of love

"I'm in the mood for love, just because you're near me"...


The way we are loved is not the same way in which we love.

We can only do what we think we know. We use our experiences to guide us through the dark forest called life in order to get to the other side.

We raise our kids the way our parents raised us or as how we wished our parents would have raised us. In essence they come from good and bad experiences.

Luke 6:31 states, "Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you". We call this the Golden Rule.

But there's a flaw with this rule. If people loved us the same way we loved them, our love tanks would feel empty inside.

Typically, we do love our spouse the way we want to be loved.

Twice in the past two weeks someone mentioned a book called, "The five love languages", by Gary Chapman. The first time I heard about it, I nodded and listened to the other person but I had no intention of buying the book. Then within a week, someone else mentioned the book. Before he finished, he offered to give me his second copy.

I've never been opposed to reading "love" books. I've read John Gray's book about Venus and Mars.

This book is different. It has helped me understand not only the relationship with my wife but with everyone else around me.

The five languages of love are as follows:
1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Everybody has a dominant language. I wrote in previous blog how I was complimenting my wife every day. She loved the positive words of affirmation, but when we sat down and discussed it, I found out she felt they were empty words.

Going beyond my comfort zone, I didn't know what else to do. This book explained to me.

After a few experiments I discovered my wife's main love language is "Acts of Service". Doing the dishes, making breakfast, cleaning the house, or doing anything that helps her in her daily routine makes her feel loved. One morning, totally out of character, I folded the laundry.

Her eyes revealed feelings for me again.

After I was certain of her love language, I sat down with her and explained what I had done. Never having verbalized what makes her loved, she realized something profound about herself. And more importantly where it came from.

We also discovered together she was loving me in the way she wanted to be loved: "Acts of Service". She didn't know that having a hot meal waiting for me when I got home was nice, but it didn't fill my love tank.

For me, "Words of Affirmation" is my love language. She can do anything she wants to show her love for me, but as long as she doesn't use of "words of affirmation", I won't feel that extra special way.

Then we took the conversation one step further. What were our children's love languages? Our son was simple. He likes to spend time with us. It took a few minutes but we think our daughter's love language is the same as mine.

Now we armed with new information to solidify our marriage and our parent/child relationships. We can also use this information to enhance relationships with other people outside of our family circle.

Two rules to negotiating

Too often, we are faced with a negotiation. For some of us, they are difficult because negotiations are an art form.  Just like someone knows calculus, negotiating is an area of study that some have mastered while others have not.

To negotiate with a master is a waste of time. The apprentice gets chopped in two offering more than they should. It's not their fault. They don't know the difference.

There are two valuable lesson to be learned in negotiating.  I know these two rules because I've broken them so many times and have come out on the wrong end of a deal too many times to count.

Rule number 1: Never be too quick to make a deal.
Although I believe a deal can always be worked out, I'm positive and proactive when I want to move forward on a project. I jump too fast and always put my best foot forward.

This leaves me with no "wiggle room" and I end up settling for a deal that is less than ideal

The greatest lesson I ever learned in negotiating is the use of "No" as the starting position. This works  like gold when someone is approaching you with an offer, a proposition or a product. If the approaching party is really interested in what you have, they will come back with a better offer. If not, they will go away not wasting any more of your time.

In most cases, I'm the approaching party so I see this strategy a lot.


Rule number 2: He who speaks first loses.
If you're trying to negotiate a deal, let the other party speak first.
Offer a leading question to continue to get more out of the opposition. Learn more about their style and worry less about the offer. The more you learn about their style, the quicker you are able to use it to your advantage.

I've never been accused of not liking the sound of my own voice, so rule two is also hard for me. It's awkward. It feels like I should say something when it gets quiet, but I don't. And the longer I wait, the more anxious the other party gets. The discomfort goes both ways. My discomfort is expected and calculated.

One time, I had a house for sale. The listed price was a bit high for the market but I got an interested party. He approached me with a low-ball offer about $50,000 less than the list price. I told him to go back and re-work his numbers. I wasn't interested in negotiating with him. He asked me to come down in price. To which I said, I will treat you as serious when you start acting it. I instructed him to go home and if he was still interested to give me his best price. No more negotiating...

It pissed him off. He walked out of our meeting but called me two days later with a very reasonable offer.

Whether you're selling a house, a car, a product or a business, never forget these two rules. They will save you time and money if used properly

Brand growth or brand confusion

I am sitting in a cafe next to a fireplace. The chair is comfortable. The decor is anything but utilitarian. Above the fireplace sits a television playing the latest national news. There were barely any seats when I came in. But the one next to fireplace was calling my name as if I were at a Starbucks.

The conversations around me swirl like leaves in the autumn air. There's a lot of beeping, humming chitter chatter and employees squeezing back and forth as they make the next order to industrial perfection. 

If I had just woken from a coma, I would never have guessed I was sitting in a Tim Horton's. Tim Horton's has always been the "blue collar" coffeeshop. With the upgrades, it is clearly trying to attract a different crowd. 

I am the only one taking advantage of its free wifi. I'm the only person with a laptop. I've been saying for years that working on a laptop at Tim Horton's sounded weird. Now that I'm doing, I feel like a high school student who has no friends. I'm the fish out of water. I'm the outcast. The people here are regular people. Everyone is wearing jeans, sneakers and workboots. Pounding away on my Apple MacBook Air, in dress shoes, dress pants and button down shirt, I dress and act exactly the opposite of these people. Now I know how the guy who goes to Starbucks in steel toe workboots feels (if there is such a guy). 

The gentleman across the dining room glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. I'm sure he's thinking, "Who's that weirdo with the laptop?" 

The chair on the other side of the fireplace sits empty as customers don't gravitate toward it nor the crazy guy with the shiny computer. 

So why am I here?

I have a meeting in an hour. 

I could have gone somewhere else, but that would mean nestling in at Starbucks, and as I got comfortable, I would have had to leave. 

So I sit here and wait for my appointment admiring the new decor of this newly built restaurant cafe.

Is the new direction Tim Horton's going in going to be effective in increasing sales? I don't think it's going to stop the regular customers from buying.

Will it encourage a new crowd? Based on my discomfort this morning, it's going to take time. A lot of time. I doubt I'll see many people pounding away on laptops anytime in the near future.

I go to Starbucks because I can sit there all day and not feel like I'm taking away profit from the business. Tim Horton's is built on speed. The disruption of speed and wifi baffles my brain. I'm sure it makes sense to someone but strategically I feel weird to be taking up a seat when so many people would love to have it. 

I've been here 20 minutes and just took my first sip of coffee. Imagine if there were 10 other people like me in here right now. Someone would have to call the loitering police. The business cannot support that type of service. 

Tim Horton's needs a lot of customers to make a profit. They need people to move. They need the drive thru to move quickly just like they need dining room customers to leave quickly. 

There was a  time when you could find a "no loitering" sign near the door. I haven't found it yet so maybe it no longer exists to fit with the wifi idea. 

The strategy of this re-design is to encourage a new clientele: youth and working professionals. I don't see a lot of either in here today.

I'm not sure this strategy will work. 

Maybe I'm setting the bar too high. A customer just commented about the decor, "It's nicer than McDonalds".

If the strategy is to pull back customers who have left for McDonalds, maybe they are on to something. 

All this reminds me of the kids who came to school on the first day of a new year with a whole new wardrobe. The change in clothes gave them renewed hope, esteem and confidence. Deep down, they were the same people with the same friends with the same attitudes.  

You can put lipstick on a pig. It'll still be a pig, with pretty lips.

Tim Horton's is still the utilitarian coffeeshop. Only now it has pretty lips.

Women are stronger than men

Sitting here, typing away at the screen, I have come to the realization that women are the stronger sex.

Men have larger muscles, so they can physically lift heavier stuff.

But that's where it ends.

When I get a cold, I lie in bed for two days taking enough cold medication to effectively knock me until I start to feel better. The virus runs through my body while I lie in a comatose state. Life continues to swirl around me. The kids still need to be cared for. But I lie in wait for a better day.

My wife gets a cold and her voice changes. She gets up in the morning, puts on her best smile and gets to work. She may whimper a bit but she goes about her business like nothing is wrong. I always admired her for that.

This week, I did something to my back. I can't sleep. I can't walk for too long. I can barely stand up. It hurts all the time. And the wimp in me has emerged like a pro.

At first, like any cramp or pain, I sloughed it off. It will just go away I thought.

But it didn't.

It got worse.

Today is the eighth day of pain. And I'm useless. Stuck between a heating pad and medication, I can't do much. I can't sleep without taking melatonin. I can't walk without advil. I can't help with the kids.  I can't work or play. Life is seemingly over.

My life is in limbo as I deal with this pain and wait for an appointment with a chiropractor.

My wife has had back pain like this for years. Although in pain, she doesn't stop. She doesn't slide silently into the TV room like an old dog looking for death.  She goes about her day in pain, slipping on the beautiful smile I fell in love with.

And I don't know how she does it.

I believe God made women bear children because the species would not have survived if it were a man's responsibility.

Men might be stronger with lifting heavy items. But we can't bear the same pain as women.

Today, I thank all those women in my life who are so strong.

I don't know how you do it, but I'm grateful.

The story of your life in one sentence

Sit down and write the story of your life in one concise sentence.

Without any cues, the exercise will be impossible. There is too much that happened, too many relationships, too many experiences to summarize them into one sentence.

The story of our lives will be told either in our lifetime or in our death.
Wouldn't it be best the story is told by the main character while he is still alive?

Branding, by definition, is a story embedded in the mind of the market. A good story has the ability to pull emotions out of the audience.

People are also brands. Children tell stories about their parents, brothers, sisters. Parents tell stories about their children to whoever will listen.

The strength of the brand lies in the ability of the individual to tell a compelling story.

I learned how to tell the story of your life without even knowing you. I don't have to know you and I can tell you the underlying theme of your life.

The answers are in your heroes!
We emulate our heroes and they in turn plant their hopes and dreams into our lives.

I know this sounds a bit nuts, but allow me to show you how this works.

Heroes aren't just the people we look up to. They are mostly characters we invest our time with.

Take twenty minutes and write down your top five favourite movies, tv shows, bible passages, characters, poems, books. If you don't know the bible and don't know what a book looks like, skip it. But do the rest.

Don't give it any thought, just write your favourite stuff out on a piece of paper.

Then look at the list and see if there's a pattern in the list.

Some won't make sense.
This exercise is nuts anyways, so it doesn't matter.

You will see a pattern. If you don't, message me with your list and I'll try to find it for you.

The things you gravitate toward are already inside you. You may or may not have known it.

I did this exercise with a client and didn't know any of the books, movies or tv shows she mentioned. After she explained what she liked about each of them, I saw her story clearly.

She has the same story as mine.
Now I know why I like working with her so much.

This is crazy.

Hockey is supposed to be fun

I love hockey. And so does my son.

The scratching ice, the crisp, thick air penetrates the soul of every hockey fan.

I'm not good at the game. There was a time I could waste days pretending I was a hockey superstar.

I see me in my son's eyes. Sometimes I'm too busy to play with him. He pretends to be Sidney Crosby. He's excited to play organized hockey for the first time.

We don't want to take anything away from our son's childhood.

When I was his age, I begged my parents to play. But my parents couldn't afford it.

We never pushed our boy to like hockey. It's in his blood.

He started by playing on a team where the other kids have been skating for 7 years. They've been playing hockey for 5. Needless to say he's behind.

He loves it.

I was worried after the first game. He didn't touch the puck much as he wobbly skated. He spent  more time on his butt than on his skates.

Was he discouraged?
Was he be disappointed?
Was he mad?

I didn't know what to expect when I got in the dressing room. I rushed to him ready to console his boyish ego.

He was smiling. He was talking about all the good things he had done and how much fun he was having.

And that's all we wanted for him. To have fun.

We saw noticeable improvements in his hockey sense by game two. He was more aggressive and less wobbly. He was still slow but he was more involved in the play and less on his butt.

Every hockey parent knows this, but being new we weren't aware of it. The hockey bullshit started.  For some reason, there is always one parent who believe his kid is going to make the NHL. They believe that winning is the only thing that matters.

One parent commented on how our boy should go down a level to learn the game better. A fair statement but our son doesn't want to play with kids a year younger than him. He wants to play with friends from his class.

A second parent told us that if he stayed with his age group, it wasn't going to be fair for the rest of the players. Although recreational hockey is supposed to be fun, the boys have more fun when they win. Having kids who can't keep up will most definitely handicap the chances of winning.

I couldn't believe my ears. The second parent went on to say that as a parent I shouldn't put my child in a situation where other kids are going to blame him for the loss. I should provide a positive environment so that he doesn't fail, feel belittled, or feel inferior.

IT'S MY FAULT!!!!

Do these people actually believe their own bullshit sandwiches they force down others throats?
This is recreational hockey.

I coached baseball this summer. We didn't win a lot of games. But everyone played equally. And everyone tried hard. We didn't keep score. The kids tried but their attention spans couldn't keep up. When the kids thought they won, they won. When they thought they lost, they lost. We didn't tell them either way, mainly because we didn't know. The score didn't matter.

The only thing that matters is that kids have fun playing a fun game.

If kids don't have fun when they lose, then they shouldn't be playing.

Every game has a winner and loser, when you keep score. Hockey is one of those sports that keeping score seems to be important.

But it's not.

My child will play where he wants.
If kids blame him, we'll give him the skills to deal with adversity.
If parents blame us, we'll bite our tongues and laugh at their own immaturity.

If parents blame him, we'll cut out their throats.

Hockey makes good people crazy. Did you know that?

The clock said 4:18

I rolled over in bed wondering what time it was. I had been awake for a few moments as thought particles entered by consciousness at warp speed.

How could this be? I just went to bed.

The previous day shook me at 3:47 am so I could prepare for an annual pilgrimage to Austin, Texas. After a long travel day, dinner with old and new friends combined with a nightcap, I rested my head down to see the clock scream 11:58 pm. Living in a timezone 2 hours earlier, the clock keeper in my brain translated the time to 1:58 am. I had been up for almost 24 hours. 

No wonder it was time to go to bed.

How the hell could I not sleep with only 4 hours and 20 minutes of shut eye? I had to be tired. I needed the rest. Today is going to be a thought provoking, eye screamer type of day that requires my full attention and concentration. There will be no snooze button in the middle of this day.

But right now, I can’t sleep.

Thoughts are racing through my brain synapsis like Formula 1 racecars in Monaco. The sound of the engines are deafening my ears. My body vibrates as the roaring cars slither across the pavement. My heart skips a normal beat as I realize I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be on this fine Thursday morning at 4:18 am.

It’s time to get up. I have two choices: exercise my body or my brain. I decide to make the body wait. The brain must release its juices or I will forever regret this little window of opportunity, the universe has bestowed upon he.

I start by reading a book I’ve already read. But it’s like I’m reading it for the first time. There’s something new I hadn’t seen before. With every page, I’m sitting further up in my bed. I’m getting more excited.

That’s it. I must write, I mutter to myself. I shower my decayed thoughts from the day before.

Today is a new day. Everything starts fresh today. Sleep has washed away my unimportant memories. And today I write with a clean slate that every new morning brings.

I can’t sleep. But… I feel awake.

A boy's love

The love a boy has for his mother is dependance.
A mother's love for her son is eternal.
The love a boy has for his father is respectful.
A father's love for his son is envy.

When the boy feels the love of his mother slipping away like a lowering tide, he fears his own mortality.

When the boy feels the love of his father pulling away like a rope on a fishing net, the boy recoils and pretends that that it doesn't bother him.

Regardless of age, the son is a boy to his parents.

The love will always exist. Clouded in the dust of emotional tornadoes, it tries to run and hide.
But it cannot disappear because the soul cannot exist without it.

A parent will always love their boy.
And a boy will always love his parents, differently...

Something exhilarating

I ran a red light today.

I was sitting at a red light at 4:30 am. There's not normally a red light here. A construction crew installed it because the bridge is reduced to one lane.

It's been there for two months. I hit the damn red light every time, invariably slowing my travel time by 63 seconds.

This morning, there was a car on the other side of the bridge waiting for his light to turn green. There is 18 seconds between the time my side turned red and his side turned green. Someone smarter than me in the realm of traffic studies figured out that it takes 18 seconds to clear the bridge before the opposite side is given the right of way.

There wasn't another car behind me nor behind my opponent. He cleared the bridge while his light turned red. I could see the glare of the light in the darkness on the other side matching the light on my side.

I wasn't in a hurry. I saw no need to remain seated, so I went through the red light expecting a policeman to emerge from his hiding place to give me a ticket. What else is there to do at 4:30 in the morning except sit and wait for petty breakers of law to create a traffic sin?

It is not my nature to do something like this. The last time I ran a clear red light was about the same time 19 years ago. I was on my way to work in the city and the traffic light stayed red for what seemed forever. There wasn't any opposite traffic, so I put on my hazard lights and went through the light pretending I had some sort of emergency.

Both times, it felt wrong. Both times, it felt great.

I was breaking an inexplicable law that wasn't going to hurt anyone.

Half way through the bridge this morning, I could see the red hue still lit in my rear-view mirror.  My discomfort turned to exhilaration and joy as I got through the other side without incident.

Time isn't the only thing I saved this morning. In my delinquent behaviour, my body secreted a small amount of dopamine. With that, I'm a bit happier today.

You don't need to be a delinquent to secrete dopamine. You need to do things outside of your comfort zone.

That's why some pleasure seekers jump out of perfectly good airplanes, ride roller coasters, and do extreme sports.

Your pleasure can be found in smaller, less risky adventures. You need to run the proverbial red light from time to time.

Otherwise life is soooo boring.

Employees know less than customers

Profit is a result of employee excellence.
Employee excellence needs leadership and entrepreneurial vision in order to grow.

To get to where we want to go as entrepreneurs, we need our employees to dive deeply into our business. That only happens with special employees unless we have a system to engrain corporate beliefs and history. In fact, we need a system to transfuse the corporate blood into every employee.

Customer service cannot start without product knowledge. It cannot exist unless our employees know everything about the company, its roots, its ownership and its beliefs.

Inspiration is the road to this destination. It's frustrating to see so many un-inspired people working in customer service roles.

I walked into a coffeeshop to hear a jingle from my childhood.

"Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese, pickles onions on a sesame seed bun."

Two guys were freely singing the words to a McDonald's jingle from a  television promotion in the 1980s. It was weird but nostalgic at the same time. There was a time when McDonald's could do no wrong. Kids loved them. Parents loved them. The whole world was in love with the brand promise.

Then things changed. More importantly, customers changed.

Mickey D's tried to keep up with consumer demands with introduction of salads, coffee and a more mature environment. But they continue to piss off their fan base.

Customers know more about the product than the 16 year pimple faced kid serving the coffee.

I bet no one working at McDonald's today knows the jingle. It IS part of pop culture but McDonald's doesn't train their staff that way. Most of the staff were born after that song aired on the national airwaves.

That is what's wrong with customer service today. Customers know more about the brand and the products than the employees do. When this happens, disappointment is always the result.

It's not just a McDonald's problem. I ordered my favourite Blizzard at Dairy Queen. It was missing the best part of the dessert: walnuts.  Missing walnuts aren't a big deal. But they're supposed to be in the recipe. When the customer knows the recipe better than the employee, it's disappointing. In a world where staff are hard to find, motivate and retain, business owners forget the greatest disservice we can do to our customer is not training our staff.

I ordered a new pizza from a favourite pizza parlour. This chicken pesto pizza tested my taste buds just right. Not too much pesto is the key. I loved it so much, I went back a few days later to order it again. This time, the cook forgot to put pesto on the pizza. When I bit into the pie, I noticed the lack of zing right away. I went to the counter to inform an employee of my problem. The counter person didn't even know what pesto was and couldn't tell by looking at my half eaten pizza that it was missing.

A friend just bought a sushi restaurant. I asked her which sushi was her favourite. I was disappointed to learn that she doesn't eat fish.

Conversely, I was having a conversation with the barista at Starbucks about the sandwiches in the display case. The employee told me about how her employer had purchased La Boulange three years earlier. She knew where the products came from. She knew about the owner, the types of coffee, and the levels of caffeine in the coffee. I was having a real conversation about something I cared about: Starbucks. Employees are trained that way there. That's why Starbucks is not just another coffee house.

The difference between a remarkable company like Starbucks and the others is the way they inspire, inform and train their employees.

When customers know more about the products served than the employees, the company fails in their attempt at customer service.

Maybe that's why McDonald's is testing a self serve counter where customers order their own meals. It might be easier to let the informed customer order the food instead of the uninformed employee.

The problem is YOU. (Most of the time)

To paraphrase Jay-Z on problems, I got 99 of them but the bitch ain't one.

Problems are all around us. They disguise themselves in Halloween costumes pretending to be something they are not. They are constantly there.

As soon as I think I'm getting rid of one problem, another presents itself.

It's easy to say, "I've got no problems". Essentially, we all have them in varying degrees. If we're honest with ourselves, we know that.

What we focus on, expands. So it's a fine line between empowering a problem and dealing with it.

All that said, dealing with our problems is extremely difficult. As Einstein is quoted, "The solution to a problem cannot be found with the same level of thinking that created it".

Our problems are derivatives of our thoughts, actions, and beliefs. To fix a problem, we need to change our thoughts, actions and beliefs.

The stuff that needs to change does not change easily. It takes real work. So most take the easy road. They blame other people for their problems.

In my experience there are two types of problems:
1. Those we create.
2. Those we are given.

It's only the second one, we can blame someone else. The given problems are rare. They are things beyond our control, occurring in nature, like death, natural disasters, freak accidents.

Most of our problems are created by us. It's easier to blame others, so we do.
To use Pareto's Principle, 80% of the problems we create are based on 20% of our actions.

What actions are you doing to cause the problems in your life?
In what ways do you need to change to fix those problems?

The ones we create are solved by changing our thinking.
The ones we are given are solved by changing our relationships.

The first one is hardest because we need to change ourselves.
The second one is easy.

PS. Have you ever noticed the rate of divorce among divorced couples? The divorced couples I know, who remarry, have a much higher incidence to divorce again. Thinking the problems have to be with the other person, the divorcee continues to look for the perfect partner only to realize, after a second failed marriage, they are far from it.

Words that don't matter anymore

There was probably a time when words like quality, honest and reliable mattered. But I doubt it.

My dad taught me to be wary of those who said they were honest. If they feel they have to say it, they probably aren't.

There are a bunch of words that don't matter anymore: quality, honest, reliable, professional, trustworthy, service oriented, experienced, dedicated, capable, respectful, and caring are just a few that come to mind.

These are "mushy middle" words that no longer mean anything. They don't mean anything because everyone is using them.

A liar will never come out and say he's a liar. He'll justify he's honest and then lie to you when you're not looking. Don't tell me what you do, show me what you do. What you'll do will speak so loudly, I won't be able to hear what you're saying.

Business owners and most marketing people like to use unimportant words. They waste their breath. They waste their money. They waste their time.

Instead of saying your company is polite, tell me you measure the amount of "thank you's" you get a day.

Instead of saying you're honest, tell me about the deal that went bad and how you fixed it.

Instead of saying you're experienced, create a how to video showing me how you could solve my problem.

Instead of saying you're respectful and caring, be respectful and caring.

Then use words that do matter. Words that matter have nothing to do with your business. If they did, your competitors have already beaten them to a useless combination of letters that no longer carry meaning.

In this example, it's not just a promise. It's a pinky swear promise.  And we all know that pinky swear promises are more important to keep than regular promises. It's foolish. But it works because no one else is promising with pinky swears. Now Morris-Jenkins owns Pinky Swears. None of their competitors can use that in their advertising. And if they did, they wouldn't come off as authentic.

Marketing is NOT hard. Choosing to be remarkable IS.

The tale of two brains

Spending countless hours with new entrepreneurs, I discovered a pattern in people.

There are two hemispheres in the brain: Right and Left.

The Left brain is responsible for analytics and logic.

The Right brain is responsible for creative thinking.

We all tap into both sides of the brain but our go-to hemisphere is where we generally live our lives.

Here's the problem. 

If you're a left brain thinker, you use logic and analysis to solve problems. You have an amazing ability to set goals, attain them, and schedule your day to day life to a level of efficiency that demands respect from all who observe you go. Your business or your career grows because you take charge of it.

If you're primarily a right brain thinker, you like to go to the creative side to solve problems. Creativity can't be quantified or measured. Time can look like its wasted for the benefit of obsessing over the IDEA. The person can be seen as a goofball as they seemingly waste time to find the idea. The process is discouraged by left brain thinkers.

Both types are equally effective but limiting.

An entrepreneur needs to equally tap both sides of the brain.

This rarely happens.

Instead the person remains handicapped. He may find initial success but his ultimate success is based on the ONE key thing: As business grows, who is the first hire?

Most entrepreneurs will hire an accountant, secretary or salesperson. The decision is based on hiring someone to do the tasks the entrepreneur has no time to do or doesn't want to do.

He identifies this as his weakness. And he's wrong. His weakness is tapping into the other side of his brain. 

The first hire for an analytical entrepreneur needs to be a creative type. The first hire for a creative entrepreneur is the analytical type.

Most entrepreneurs have heard that they need to hire people who can produce in areas where they are  weakest. The analytical entrepreneur can figure out accounting, process, and systems. If an idea is presented, he can figure out through systems how to implement them.  He needs a legitimate creative person on his team.

Creative entrepreneurs are scared of accounting. They don't understand the setting of goals. They are worried about process and system. It hurts every aspect of their body to follow these rigid guidelines. Coming up with ideas is easy and fun for these people. The challenge is implementing them. They need a strong analytical person to keep them on task. Someone like an office manager.

Steve Jobs was a creative entrepreneur. He would not have had success with the analytical Woz. 

Walt Disney was also creative. His brother Roy was the analytical business manager.

Ray Kroc was the creative sales guy. Harry Sonneborn was the brilliance behind financial decisions McDonalds made to make them one of the largest owners of property in the world.

An entrepreneur cannot do it alone. There is always someone, equal but opposite in thinking, who propels the company forward.

If you have employees, the same holds true. Finding a mixture of both brains is where success within the department will be found.

The analytical entrepreneur will discount creative ideas thinking they cannot be done. He will analyze and critique the idea into oppression.

The creative entrepreneur knows the analytical ideas are important but they will avoid them at almost all costs. Usually at the detriment of their bank account, the government's collection system and suppliers looking for payments.

Shelly (not her real name) is a creative entrepreneur who does amazing work. Her clients love her work. But the biggest frustration her clients have is her inability to keep her own deadlines.

She sets deadlines to have her work done and then fluffs them off until some later date. Deadlines are movable targets. Deadlines are based on not real. Ideas don't listen to deadlines. They come when they come. Her creative clients understand. Her analytical clients get pissed off. One of her analytical clients was her friend. Her creativity was so good, he continuously forgave her for overpromising until one day he realized her inability to work within deadlines was hurting his business. The relationship got rocky. The client friend had to chose between working with her or keeping her as a friend. He chose the friendship and fired her. After the business relationship ended, Shelly called her friend for advice. He wasn't the only person upset with her moving deadlines. There were others. Many others, including Revenue Canada. Shelly wasn't paying attention to their tax filing deadlines and owed them a bunch of money. She was in trouble. Her bank accounts were frozen. Her clients couldn't pay her without Revenue Canada taking what they thought belonged to them.

Shelly is terrible at account management, accounting, bank reconciliations. She is awesome at creating. Shelly needs to hire an office manager who can handle the linear work required to stay in business.

On the flip side of this brain equation, Paul is an analytical person who owes no one anything. He has no debt. He's worked his whole life to make sure the bank doesn't collect interest of his hard earned money. He decided to get into business for himself factoring in how much money he would have to earn to maintain his current lifestyle. His kids are all grown up. His house is paid for and he drives a motorcycle in the summer months to keep the vehicle costs to a minimum. People like Paul because he's a no nonsense type of guy. But he suffers from an inability to grow his business. He's had some success. But it's limited. He doesn't understand why people wouldn't choose his product over his competition when he offers the exact same product only cheaper.

A friend approached Paul and told him that he needed to break a few rules. But rules is all Paul knows. He's the f-ing poster child for living within the rules. He doesn't understand that rules create conformity, sameness, and boringness. He doesn't understand that his marketing effort needs to be focused on living on the other side of that fence. But he's not that type of guy, so doing that is not only outside of his comfort zone. It's outside of his authenticity. The only way Paul can pull his entrepreneurial dream off is if he hires a creative person to see past his own limiting beliefs.

Paul is terrible at creativity, thinking outside of the box. He's awesome at managing his bank account, setting goals and making sales calls.

Both people living in different brains have the equal but opposite effect. Their business is stale because they don't play enough on the other side of their heads.

80% of businesses fail in the first five years of opening. Is there any question why?