The Deflector Shield and Selling

If someone you don't know, tries to sell you something, you put up what I like to call the Deflector Shield. First of all, the person you're talking to doesn't have any credibility with you, so you immediately question motives.

Credibility is everything.

The Deflector Shield is the same shield that young women use in nightclubs to protect themselves from young bucks trying to sleep with them.

What's the easiest way to lower the Shield? Instead of exposing your true intent, you need to approach in Stealth Mode.

How do you approach in Stealth Mode?
Ask for help. Literally ask for help.

Most people don't want to be sold to. But they are more than happy to help.

Imagine a young buck approaching Lady Enterprise. "Hey baby, your daddy must've been a jeweller because he placed two diamonds in your eyes".

Ugh. That stuff only works on the weak and desperate.

Now imagine this happening all night to the same Lady Enterprise, who is in full Deflector Mode, when a more sophisticated young buck approaches and says, "Hi, my name is XYZ and I'm wondering if you can help me out. I just bought this new shirt but I don't have much of a sense for style. I have four brothers at home and I'd like to get a woman's opinion. What do you think?"

Bye bye deflector shields. Maybe a conversation develops and maybe it doesn't. But the second guy has a much better chance of converting the sale once the shields are down.

Take that same idea over to the business world. Most salespeople use the first approach telling us whatever we want to hear so they can get into our pants.

But when someone comes along and asks for our help, we generally lower the shield and listen to what the salesperson has to say. When these people get into our pants, it doesn't feel as icky.

We are all in sales. So the next time you need to sell something, whether it be a product, service or idea, try asking for help instead of coming on too strong.

There's a bigger chance of success and a lesser chance of being a douche.

There are losers in life

People can actually lose at this game called life.

It's not what you think.

It's not necessarily the guy who pokes needles into his arm or the girl that needs to satisfy her addiction by drinking a 40 ouncer before leaving the house.

It might not be the person who could work but decides to stay home and live off available social programs like free housing, free food or free money.

It doesn't have to be the person who never achieves their dreams.

It's probably not the homeless guy begging for spare change on the street.

You can only lose at life when you stop laughing.

As long as you continue to laugh, you have found some level of happiness.
As long as you find happiness, you cannot lose.

Happiness is a choice.
By choosing happiness, you win.

We all know people who's face looks more like their assholes. The pierced lips that just sucked on something sour resembling the anal's orifice.

Don't be that person.

Be the opposite of that person. A laughing person is an attractive person.
Be the opposite of that person. A laughing person is a magnetic person.
Be the opposite of that person. A laughing person makes others laugh.
A laughing person makes other people happy.

And that's the greatest gift anyone can give in this world.

And that's how we win at life.

We only lose when we stop laughing...

Nature is a bitch

It's only natural.

Be one with nature.

We are supposed to respect nature. Yet, nature can be such a bitch.

I agree with the overall premise of respecting our natural neighbours. But I saw an ugly side of nature yesterday. I was cutting down a few dead branches, when the soothing trickle of a stream whispered for me to come closer. 

As I approached, I saw the weight of the snow from this past winter had bent the alder bushes into the stream's path. Mother's source, water, was being blocked by stubborn trees not wanting to die, but not having enough life to rise again.

I was sad. 

In the coming years, these bushes will block the waterflow like a beaver's dam and I will lose the laughter of the joyful water.

Those bushes don't have the energy to rise up. They are not trees. They don't have the DNA of their tree cousins. Their lot in life is to populate the land like a disease. They don't have aspirations of beauty. 

So enter the chain saw. 

Their doom is told by their unwillingness to reach for the stars. Their complacency is their ultimate destruction.

They will eventually die a slow drowning death.

Drowning has to be the worst way to die. 

Nature is allowing them to suffer.

Nature is allowing them to think they are still alive.

Their fate is sealed.

And nature knows it. 

What a bitch.

Murderer. Killer. Slaughterer.

The chain saw cuts the throats of those poor bushes in an instant. The pain is over. The sadness is gone. 

The brook rejoiced.

The children cried.

The fish laughed.

And nature sat back in her rocking chair contemplating her next dick move.

What a bitch!  

Little Girl

Little girl, saddened heart
You can hide behind your smiles
We still see your pain
You can try to hide it
It hurts to watch you
It hurts to see you
It hurts to know you

Little girl, sorrowed eyes
You can hide behind your laughs
We still hear your pain
You can try to run
It hurts to hear you
It hurts to listen to you
It hurts to know you

Little girl, broken spirit
You can hide behind your actions
We still feel your pain
You can try to numb it out
It hurts to talk about you
It hurts to think about you
It hurts to know you

It wasn't your fault
Nor was it mine
It's just in the stars
The fault lies with them
Little Girl
Hide, run, or numb
The pain will never go away entirely
It will fade with time
Like every other memory

You're right...

I was a conference last Friday for a Multi Level Marketing event.

I'm not a fan of MLM. Although for some "the business" can very lucrative, it's just not my idea of a good time. And I want to have fun when I make money.

I didn't go to this event because a friend convinced me to go. I went because of a coincidence. I love coincidences. There's something unnatural about them. They feel like a chaotic series of events that should have no relevance together, and then BAM, it all makes sense.

I've learned opportunity never knocks. It whispers in your ear. One form of the whisper shows up through coincidences.

Let me explain.

I was having a conversation with a business partner about Napoleon Hill. When I hung up the phone, I had a text from another friend telling me about a speaker coming to my town who was a Napoleon Hill certified speaker. The text came in about the same moment the first discussion took place.

I called back my business partner and told him about the amazing coincidence. I bought a ticket to the  event, knowing full well that it was a sponsored event by an MLM organization. He decided to come to.

They had some product for trial. I wasn't a fan. 

The speaker was ok. He lost me at one point because he said something that contradicted one of my beliefs about money. An audience member sitting behind me asked him what he meant by getting money to work for you. His response had to do with creating groups of people who would sell more product. I whispered to the friend, that's not money working for you, that's people working for you.  I fundamentally believe he was wrong. He was promoting his MLM scheme.

Early in his presentation he spoke about never getting into an argument. He said that whenever a disagreement surfaces, he goes to his safe place by saying, "You're right". A fight needs at least two people. Someone not willing to fight squashes the debate.

Fast forward a few days and it was my turn at speaking on stage. I was presenting marketing and business strategies to new entrepreneurs.  Someone in the audience said something that was absolutely ludicrous. I knew he was wrong, but he was so adamant, I could not win. I even gave him an out and he didn't take it. I wanted to pull up Google to show him when I'm on stage I don't rent the stage. I fucking own it. 

But I didn't. And it bothered me for the rest of the day. Not because some smart ass was stealing my thunder. It was because my ego was telling me if this bastard shows me up here, then everything else I am speaking about comes into question. This was the only thing he said all day. And I let his words hurt me.

I still have a lot of learning to do... 

PS. The coincidence was no random act. Not only did I live on two sides of the same argument, I was bored at the event. I started brainstorming on a name for a new project I'm working on. The energy in the room was strong enough to inspire me with it. I shared afterward with my business partner. He loved it too. I'll give you one word - Gladiator. 

Stay tuned...

The secret ingredient to happiness

I will be happy when...insert expectation here...

I will be happy if...insert condition here...

Happiness is not based on expectation or conditions.
Happiness is not an event. Nor is it dependant on the future.

Happiness can only happen in the present.
So what's the secret?
Why does it allude some of us, yet get attracted to others like flies to shit?

I read recently that happiness is a derivative of gratitude. If we recognize all the things in our life and appreciate them, then the crappy stuff that eventually happens will carry less weight on our emotional state.

I take the good things in my life for granted. I think we all do from time to time. It's only when I sit down and take stock that I realize how fortunate I am. Happiness is a drug, like a swig of gin as it creates those good feelings. Unfortunately, like a drug, the more I try to consume, the sicker I get. The more I search for it, the further I stray away from it.

And like crack, each hit is less and less effective- so I'm told...

We all want to be happy. We search for it in the pursuit of things and events. The momentary attainment of events and things can be addictive. It's a hypodermic needle filled with chemicals. Something more addictive than heroine and harder to find than a two peckered billy goat. The happiness drug is dopamine. And dopamine is created by our brains.

I know this sounds stupid, but happiness cannot be found. It's a state of being. It's a choice.

When you're hungry, you eat.
When the happiness tank is empty, you fill it with dopamine fuelled by gratitude.

If happiness is inside of us then it will be where you are, when you're ready to receive it.

I conducted a personal happiness experiment recently. Every morning, I took a minute to think about all the good things in my life. Then at supper, before the kids scoffed down their food, we had a gratitude moment. At first the kids thought it was stupid. We didn't know what to say, so we'd say the first thing that came to our minds. To get more original in my answers, I started to notice the small pleasures in life so I could share them at supper.

As I paid more attention to the small things, I caught myself giggling multiple times a day.

I dropped my phone and it didn't break.
A friend bought me lunch.
The insurance is going to pay for the damages to my pool.
A friend asked for my business advice.
My son gave me a hug this morning.
The whole family went fishing together.
Mom told me she loved me today.
I was speeding and the cops flashed their lights but didn't pull me over.
I learned something new.

And then the best one...
I was drinking a breakfast smoothie in the car, when a dollop of yogurt escaped the top end of the straw and strayed downward toward my clean white shirt. I was all dressed up for an important meeting and was scared to look down. To my amazement, the liquid landed perfectly on the shoulder harness of my seatbelt. It never touched my shirt. I was saved, giggled and thanked God for his gracious generosity.

I challenge you to go on your own personal gratitude journey. For the next 21 days, write down three things that happens for which you are grateful.  Read them out loud before you go to bed and when you wake up. Then look all day for three new things you can write at the end of that day. And repeat for 20 more days.

You'll surprise yourself.

You'll be happy you did it.

What are you feeding yourself

What do you eat in the morning?
What about over a week?

Have you ever written down every last thing you put into your mouth over a seven day period?

Garbage in, garbage out.

I am not in great shape. For the past five months I have missed only three days of exercise. I'm proud to say that even in those three missed days, I doubled up the workout the following day.

Why am I doing it?
I don't like my weight.
I think I could stand to lose another 25 pounds.

It's not that I'm overweight.

My over-fit friend says that weight is lost in the kitchen, not in the gym.

I lost 15 pounds from the workouts, but it's been two months that I'm hovering around the same weight.

I think I eat pretty healthy.

But there is something I must be doing wrong.

I started monitoring everything that went from fingers to mouth.

Holy shit.

That's my problem.

I am treating myself too many times a week. It's ok to treat yourself, just not everyday.

When I wrote everything down, I was getting a treat everyday like a little dog that didn't pee on the floor.

Now apply that same thinking to what you're listening to, watching on TV and reading.

How much TV do you watch? You probably don't watch a lot. But write every hour down, including the show, the time. If you have the TV on in the background while you're cooking, that counts. Count how much TV you watch a week. How much of it is educational? Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil doesn't count as educational. They are informational, but their hooks are still based on entertainment.

Do you read? What are you reading? Facebook status updates don't count...

Do you listen to radio DJ's laughing and telling jokes, nonstop commercials trying to sell you shit, or do you listen to instructional audiobooks on your way to work?

What are you feeding your brain?

It's ok to treat yourself, just not everyday.
Are you treating yourself too many times a week?

Garbage in, garbage out - just like food.
Guaranteed...