Hope, eyeballs and scrolling through garbage

I get asked a lot about the effectiveness of advertising and which ones should be used.

The buzz for entrepreneurs seems to be social media.
Boy, it is really powerful.
No doubt about it.

The John Deere 6110R (below) is also powerful but it's not the right tool for mowing your lawn.

The same goes for social media for a lot of businesses. 

Why would you use social media for advertising your business?

Someone will say there are a lot of people there. And they are right.  But what about the message? Doesn't that matter?

And someone will say that eyeballs are eyeballs and the more people who see the ad, the more people who will be engaged.

I disagree. Social media happens fast. It's entertainment. The scrolling effect kills an ad faster than the eyeballs can catch it. 

Ads have to be engaging.

It's no longer good enough to buy eyeballs. We live in an attention economy and the potential customer won't give it to us, unless we're new, exciting or different.

And if you think about it, nothing has really changed. Except where people are spending their time.

Screen times on phones, tablets and computers have skyrocketed, while tv screen time continues to hold its own with one slight change. Streaming services are outpacing cable tv.

I drive by 42 billboards every morning. I'm a marketer so I pay attention more than the average person. And I can't remember one memorable board. It's noise.

And that's what happens with social media. It's noise. Unless it's new, exciting and different.

So please do yourself a favour. If you plan on opening an instagram account for your business, think twice about littering my feed with your garbage. It's disrespectful.

Post a facebook ad, but make it new, exciting or different. 

Adding irrelevant ads on facebook or google is worse than the paid ads on TV.

In fact, it's way worse. Because this time, it's personal. Commercials on tv wasn't your fault. You had no way of knowing who I was. But now you do.

So what media works the best?

All of them work. Some will yield better results than others depending on who you're trying to reach. But most importantly, whether you decide to use the mass media, social media or mobile media, the best way to break through all the noise is to have a compelling message.

The key to unlocking the big giant lock called persuasive advertising, is the message. The media is secondary.

But what's your plan if you do use social media? If you post once per month. You're no one in the digital world.

If you post for engagement, you're wasting your time on keyboard warriors.

If you post creative, persuasive ads that force us to think, then you have a fighting chance.

Someone offered to manage my social media this morning. She gave three examples of other businesses who were doing a great job of engaging and communicating with their audience (her opinion).

A tear came to my eye. If this is the garbage social media "experts" are pawning off to unsuspecting clients, we have a bigger problem with recycling than you think.

Reuse, recycle, repeat...

But then again, maybe this is good news. Too many still don't understand what good marketing is. Too many are wasting their money on ineffective methods that don't return a reasonable return on their marketing investment.

Last week, a participant at my marketing presentation said billboard advertising was dead. Nobody pays attention to them and they a waste of money. The 42 I see everyday would reinforce that perspective. But what if you saw this ad? Maybe billboard ads aren't dead after all, eh?

And the same goes for all media. 

If you want my attention, you have to be worthy enough to break through the noise. 

If you want my money, you have to give me hope.

And hope is all we can really strive for. Hope tomorrow will be better than today. 

Character, statues and a 1000 year promise

Thanks for meeting with me. What can I get you?
I'd like a Grande Emperor's Cloud.

Fancy name... Is it a fancy drink?
Nope. Just a medium Green Tea.

I don't get the name thing here.
You can't get Emperor's Cloud anywhere else. So if you like the branded tea, you can only buy it here. An old boss used to call this telephone branding.

You've lost me. What are you talking about?
Don't worry about it. What can I do for you?

I'm struggling with a new name of my business.
What does this business do?

We're going to make custom furniture.
What's special about this furniture?

Uh, it's custom made for the customer.
I understand. Why would someone care enough to buy from you and not from a big box retailer?

Because I'm better.
We're not getting anywhere. I apologize in advance for my candidness. Please don't take offence with what I'm about to tell you.

I won't.
Promise?

I promise.
Pinky promise?

Haha. Sure. Pinky promise.
No one gives a shit about you or your furniture, except you and the people closest to you. Once you come to the realization that quality has many definitions. And what your customer thinks is quality may not be your definition. So why do you make custom furniture?

I love it.
Why do you love it?

There's something about the smell of wood that gets my juices flowing.
Tell me a story about the first time you smelled sawdust in a shop.

Ouf, I don't know. I remember when I was a kid I used to help my grampy in his shop. I'd spend all day with him sanding, plaining, and setting the boards to make these living room tables.
Did he teach you anything over the time you spent with him in the shop?

Oh my, yes. He used to say the quality of the table depended on two things: the choice of wood and the character of the carpenter.
I've heard chefs say the same thing about food.

Oh it's true. He said if you treated the wood properly, it would show you its soul.
Nice. Do you know what you're selling?

Custom made furniture.
God no. That's the product. Do you know what feeling you're selling?

Peace of mind that the customer has a custom made furniture?
Oh my. No. You're selling nostalgia. You're selling a memory of grandpas and their simplistic view of the world (filled with honour and integrity).

Honour and integrity...those are good words.
No. They're terrible words. Promise me. Never use those words again.

Why?
Because they're cliche. And no one will believe you if you use them. They've heard that bullshit before.

So I sell the memory of my grandpa?
No, you sell the memory of all grandpas, using yours as the example. You got business cards?

Yes.
What's the name of your company?

GLM custom woodworking and construction.
I thought you did custom furniture. Nothing about your name tells me the one thing you do really well.

I do other things as well to pay the bills.
Who gets paid more money, the family practitioner or the surgeon?

The surgeon.
Why?

Because he's specialized.
And he does one thing extremely well, right?

Right.
So which do you want to be?

The surgeon.
Then make sure your customers knows what you do really well. Of course you'll do the other stuff when you have time. I get it, you want to put food on the table.

Exactly. So my name is bad.
Yes.

Why did you ask me about my business cards before the name of my company?
Business cards are one of those simple tools in marketing that most people screw up.

Don't I just put my name, address, email, website, phone number....
Whoa. Stop. When you get a business card from someone, what do you do with it?

If it's relevant, I put in my contact list.
And if it's not?

I throw it out.
And how do you ensure your business card is relevant to the people who get one from you?

I don't know.
Be different.

Like a different size or shape.
Maybe. But what about smell?

Smell? Don't they smell like paper and ink.
Yup. They all do. But what if you could get "Ode de Sawdust" and spritz a little bit on every one you handed out? Just like the smell you remembered in your grampy's shop.

That's really good. I wonder someone makes that.
They do, I just googled it.

Holy crap. I love it.
And then you can spritz a bit on yourself for cologne. Smell is one of our senses that helps reinforce memory. You'd be increasingly different that customers would be more apt to remember you. Hence your business card may have just become relevant...

What about my name?
Let me ask you something else. What is so special about handcrafted furniture versus big box furniture?

The care and attention to detail is the big thing.
Why is that so important?

The more a furniture maker pours his heart into his work, the greater the quality of the piece.
You're talking craftmanship.

Yes. Craftmanship.
So what I've heard from you today is the character of the carpenter and the passion for the word with output a better product.

Yes. That's it. Character plus passion equals Better.
No. Well yes, but you can't say that. It's expected and no one will trust you. Plus any furniture craftsman can say that. You got to go deeper.

Deeper?
Yes, what's deeper than passion and character?

I dunno.
Your grandpa used to say it.

He did.
Yup. You know this. You get it, but you've never thought about this way.

Ok I give up.
Have you ever heard of comfort food?

Oh my god. I get it comfort furniture.
Uh, no. What's another word for comfort food, used primarily in Black communities?

Soul food.
Now you're talking. And how do you translate that to furniture?

Soul furniture?
How about Furniture for the Soul.

My grandpa used to say that?
I know, you've already told me. What's a soul worth?

There's no price.
Right, now the expensive furniture that you want to sell has extreme value. No more price comparing to the big retailers. A customer has a choice to buy the mass produced, cheaply made table a fraction of the price or get a piece that reminds them of their grandpas that changes the energy in their homes. Do you offer a warranty on your furniture?

Yes, I'll offer a limited time warranty for one year.
Is that all a soul is worth? Are you familiar with Tilley hats?

No.
Their warranty has a lifetime warranty.

So what if someone takes advantage of them?
They probably do. But that's the cost of being different. They stand behind their workmanship. Do you stand behind yours?

I suppose I could do a lifetime warranty. It wouldn't be that big of deal to fix something that would go wrong.
Even if the dog chewed off the leg?

To fix the leg wouldn't be that big of a deal. I would fix that for free as part of my warranty.
I knew I liked you. That would be awesome. You can market the shit out of that. But let's not say lifetime warranty. Let's say something more ridiculous. Something that would get attention.

Like what?
Do you stand behind your work?

Yes, absolutely.
Then give a 1000 year warranty on your furniture.

I won't even be alive.
No you won't, but the confidence that your company will be here speaks loudly about your offer. Future generations will write songs about your furniture. Future marketers will pray to your golden statues and your grandpa will be a demi god.

I like the way you think.
Enough coffee. You got a lot of work to do.

We go fishin' when the fish are runnin'

I went bass fishing with my 12 year old son last week.

We sat there on the edge of the ocean, casting our lines anticipating a "bite".

Waiting, and casting.
Talking, and enjoying the crisp ocean breeze.

And I thought of an old colleague.
Morris was Vice President of Marketing of a $50 million business and his favourite saying was, "We go fishin' when the fish are runnin'."

What he meant was we should market heavily when potential customers are most apt to buy. And we should slack off when it's too hard to convince them otherwise.

Morris was smart. I learned a lot from him.

Cast the line when everyone else are casting their lines.
Fish when everyone else is fishing.
Sell when customers are most apt to buy.

I call this noise elevation.

Morris was worried about ROI (return on investment) of the marketing dollars he was spending. His children's bellies depended on him proving his marketing prowess.

I was casting my line and thinking about Morris when I realized that he was wrong.

Marketing is nothing like fishing.
It can be about timing, but that's the lazy route and too competitive.
It's not about ROI. It's about business growth.

And most marketers don't talk about business growth because they think marketing is a department within a business. And there are too many variables they have no control over.

Pareto's Law, or 80-20 rule, loosely states that 80% of outcome will come from 20% of inputs.

Marketing is 80% internal and 20% external.

Marketing internally includes every sales call, collection notice, conversation with a potential hire, potential supplier, internal discussions, weeds on the front lawn, rats in the basement, dirt on the delivery truck, logo on the letterhead, misspelling, attitude, crooked chairs, cracked windows, employee uniforms, etc.

You understand external marketing. But then again, you know the internal marketing too.

The internal marketing should be easy. You're dealing with the human element.

Now we're talking Culture.

Don't spend another dollar on external marketing until you fix your culture problem. Then you won't have to fish when the fish are runnin'. They'll always be runnin'. And when you're ready to cast your line, the fish will jump in your lap.

Sales, smoke screens, and seduction

I'd like to grow my business, but I don't know how to do it. Do you have any suggestions?

Wow, that's a loaded question. But before I answer your question, let me ask one of my own. Are your sales the same as last year, better than last year or worse than last year?

We're about the same as last year. 

And did you do any advertising you really felt worked for you?

Not sure. We spent some money on different things. Some customers came in but it didn't really move the needle longterm.

Are you going to do those things again next year?

We did get some clients. I don't know if it was worth the money, but it did bring in some customers that we hadn't seen before.

And your business is flat.

Yeah.

So despite some of your marketing initiatives, your business is relatively flat. Would you agree that some customers you had last year no longer come to you?

We do a really good job with customer retention.

Sure, but do you agree that some lost customers has nothing to do with you? Let's be objective. Some people die, move away, or have a change in lifestyle.

Ok, when you put it that way, yes.

So despite, you losing some customers, your business is flat, which means new customers have filled that void.

Right, so our marketing is working for us.

Maybe. But answer another question for me. Did you take a price increase on your products due to inflationary demands?

Yes. I have to protect my margins. So each year, we increase prices between 2 and 3 per cent.

Ok. So to be clear, you've raised prices about 2-3%. Some customers are no longer with you. But your sales are about the same as last year. 

Are you saying my sales are down? My accountant doesn't say that.

Sales are flat. But a bigger indication that business is in trouble is customer count. Accountants usually don't track that number. Your average check is a bit higher, giving a smoke screen that your business may have lost market share this year. Which means you're actually losing customers.

That's not good. I want to get customers. So back to my question, how to grow my business?

It starts with the internal first. I've heard you say that you're doing a good job keeping customers. So keep doing that. However, do you remember how you met your wife?

I met her at my first job. We were friends for 2 years before we went on our first date. 

So what attracted you to her?

She was beautiful. She had long curly hair, with an air of confidence.

So physically... But after being friends for two years, did you just go to her and say, "Hey we've known each other for 2 years, we should get married to lower our combined living expenses"?

Are you nuts? No after two years, I fell completely in love with her. She was funny. I watched her take care of her mom. She loved camping, swimming and going to movies. We watched sunsets and interpreted cloud formations.

Then you asked her to marry you?

No. Then we went on our first date.

And how long did you date?

Two more years.

So you knew this woman for 4 years before she married you?

Yes, but I knew I wanted to marry her the first day I met her.

You worked slow. 

I didn't want to scare her off.

Right, so let me explain where I'm going with this. This woman was really important to you. You handled the relationship delicately. There are nine ways we become attracted to another person.

1. Beauty

2. Persistence

3. Make us feel great

4. Dangerous

5. Natural, simple

6. Flirting

7. Charming

8. Charisma, great with words

9. Be a star

You started your attraction to her based on beauty, but complimented the attraction with natural and how she made you feel. 

What's that got to do with my business?

Well, if we talk to your wife, to find out why she married you, I bet she'll have a different reason why she was attracted to you. And once we know those qualities, we can use those same qualities to promote your business.

I'm not looking to getting married again.

Physically, no. But metaphorically, you're looking to find customers who will be seduced by your business. I'm willing to bet your business is just like you. Once you understand what gets customers excited about you, then you go find more customers just like them.

Not all customers will like us.

Exactly. Just like not all women wanted to be with you. But does it matter?

No. I love my wife. She's everything to me. A wonderful mom. A caring wife. A listening ear. She's my best friend.

Now imagine if you could say the same thing about your customers. Do you think, business would grow or stay flat?

Are you saying not all customers are the right customers?

That's exactly what I'm saying. As business owners, we chase the customer because they have the money. But we're using the wrong strategy. We need to communicate who we are so the customer falls in love with us. And when they do, their money follows.

But not all customers will like us, just like not all girls liked me.

Now you get it. You don't need all customers to love you. Your operation couldn't handle it all anyways. 

So what do we need to do to get new customers?

Do you need new customers in the next 9 months to stay in business?

I don't think so. But I do want new customers so we stop this decline you brought up.

I get it. But just like your wife, this is going to take time. The communication is going to take time to seduce the customer. In my experience it takes about 9 months. 

What if I want it faster?

What would've happened if you would've moved extremely fast on that 20 year old girl who became your wife or for any 20 year old girl for that matter?

I may have scared her away or may have attracted the wrong women.

See. It relates exactly the same way to to business.

I get it. So after 9 months. I'll see 3-4% increases in sales?

If you grow 5%, will you be happy? 

Yes.

If you grow 10%, how would you feel?

I'd kiss you. But I don't believe you.

Your wife might get jealous. Let's say this. I'm not promising you 10%. You're a good guy. You have a good business. Your strategy is non existent. With a strategy that effectively communicates and seduces, your business will grow. I would expect that in three years, your business will be much bigger than it is today. You've told me your business is in decline. Any growth would be welcomed. And I think 2-3% increases in sales is a joke. If I only get you 2-3%, you should fire me immediately. 

What are you going to do?

Does that matter? 

Not really.

So if you're ready, let's get to work.

I'm ready. How much is this going to cost me?

You haven't learned yet. I'm not chasing your money. I need to see if we are compatible. I'm going to get you to do some homework before I charge you anything further.

But I want to get started.

Trust me. This is an important step in my process of customer acquisition.

Are you seducing me?

Haha. You're smart. I like you.

Send me the homework. I'll get it to you in the next few days.

Rick Nicholson is a Wizard of Ads partner. You can reach him at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com to discuss development of your marketing strategy.

Discount your relationship when you discount your product.

You're a customer. So you obviously know what it takes to get you to buy.

But do you really?

"Give me a sale, and I'll buy".

Sometimes. What if you don't need the product.

My wife has 15 pair of shoes and she'll buy another pair next week if they're on sale.

Aren't shoes always on special? With that logic, she should be Imelda Marcos.

If you put stuff on sale, customers always show up.

You're right. But is that the customer you want?

A customer is a customer is a customer.

Ok. Imagine you're a shoe retailer.

My wife would be my best customer.

And you have an exclusive line of shoes. No one else can get them anywhere.

Well that's different.

Not at all. But let me finish. You have one exclusive line and then to fill up your store, you have all these other brands that everyone else has. Would you discount your exclusive line?

Only when the new line would come out.

So you'd leave them at full price until the fashion changed.

Yup. But to be competitive, I'd deep discount the other brands to get traffic through my door. Once inside the customer would see the exclusive brand and might pay full price.

That could happen. More likely, here's what will happen. The customer looking for a deal, will come in. If they find the right shoe, in the right style in the right colour and they feel the price is better than elsewhere, including Amazon, they might buy. They may even try on the exclusive, expensive shoe, never with the intention of buying them.

Why would you say that? They are a customer.

There are two types of customers. The ones who love you and the ones who use you. I call them "bottom feeders", always looking for the best price. 

But they are still a customer.

Yes they are. Although extremely less important.

But I'd have traffic.

Sure you would. Now imagine that customer who loves the store decor, the customer service but most importantly that line of exclusive shoes comes in your store the day you have a huge inventory clearout. Your staff is working off their feet, trying to sell discounted shoes to a bunch of customers who may not even buy. What would be the level of service to that customer?

We'd do our best. My marketing worked. We'd be too busy to give them the same level of attention that we'd normally give.

Exactly. Then what would happen?

She'd come back next week when the store calmed down.

That's an assumption. You're probably right. But maybe she'd find a new style somewhere else. Maybe you'd run these specials so often that she'd grow tired of your inattention. Maybe she'd divorce your company.

Well it's just one customer.

Yes. One nameless customer who paid full price for an exclusive brand traded in for a bunch of nameless customers who only used you for your cheap shoes.

I'll take it. It's all about growing the business.

Sure. Now assume your competitors start the same tactics. They're going to react to your discounting. They try keep their business. So they run deep discounts too. Now you're all fighting over the same customer with the biggest stick being the lowest price. Who wins now?

No one. We all lose. 

Not exactly. The company that wins is the one who found your client who wanted an exclusive brand who was willing to pay full price. The company that wins is the one you gave your client to.

How long does it take to realize this is going on?

Business is not a 50 yard dash. It's a marathon. It takes time, commitment, attention. If you cheat on your training in a marathon you won't finish. You'll lose. If you start by sprinting, you lose. If you don't feed yourself, you lose. If you don't have the right mindset, you lose. If you don't hydrate, you lose. Some conditions are in your control and some are not. The point is recognizing the difference.

So discounting isn't good for business?

I didn't say that. It's good for short term business. It's good for clearing out discontinued, perishable inventory. It's good for moving sales. It's good to put money in the bank this week. It's not good if you want to be in business longer than a couple of years.

So know this, why would people discount?

I think it's one of two reasons. Either they disagree with what I've told you or they are addicted. Can't trust an addict, they'll do anything for their next fix. What happens to an addict after longterm continued abuse? 

It's not good.

There you go. Now you're getting it. 

So how do you bring in those clients, without discounting?

How long have you been married?

Twenty four years.

How did you get your wife to marry you?

Two years of persistence to get her to go on a date, followed by two more years of courtship.

So it wasn't easy.

Nope, but it was well worth it. The good times far outnumber the bad.

See you already know the answer. Just use the same thinking it took to marry your wife.

Love is a game of catch.

What happens when you look at the world through someone else's eyes?

Mark Fox calls it "looking through another lens".
Using the idea of TRIZ, which is older than anyone alive, looking through a "lens" offers a different perspective.

It helps me look at my problems and gives me advice, options, and sometimes solutions.

This morning, I was thinking, "Why would someone feel alone when they have loved ones around them?'

Looking through a lens, and changing the question, the absurdity in the question wasn't hard to understand.

Let me explain.

Could you die from malnourishment even though you ate everyday?
Could you dehydrate although you drink liquid everyday?
Could you die from hypothermia in the middle of the summer?
Could you go bankrupt with a million dollars in the bank?

And the answer is of course.
Eat only ice cream. Drink only vodka and coffee. Fall asleep in the ocean with a life jacket on. Withdraw the money tell the bank you can't afford your mortgage.

All of these consequences result from personal choices.

The individual who feels alone isn't alone from the outsiders perspective. But he is alone from his own. And that's the only one that counts.

How do you help him not feel alone? The only way you can. You have to show him you love him.

But there's a catch.

You can't show your love by using your love language. You must use his. There are five love languages according to Gary Chapman.

l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for
taking out the garbage.” 

2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me.”

3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.

4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and
listening.

5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all
expressions of love.

If you're not sure what you're loved one's love language is, pay attention to his expressions of love.
Although, you may express your affection in different ways, you have a dominate language.

Make it your mission to find out others love languages. It will save your relationships. It has helped me immensely.

I've watched people cry when I gave them words of affirmation.
I've felt the warm embrace of a friend who needed comfort.
I've watched my daughter's eyes light up when I brought her an unexpected gift.

Try it today. Show someone you love them by understanding how they love.

It's like a game of catch. Catch the ball and now throw it right back.

Love them the way they want to be loved.
Market to them, the way you want to be marketed to.

I started with love and now I've slipped into marketing. How is that possible?
Because we're people. And we're looking for something. As vague as that is, we might not even know until it shows up. However, we will listen to the person who seems to understand.

Understand your customer and you won't have to sell to them. They will buy from you over and over again. They will love you because you love them.

And if they don't love you, ask yourself a couple of questions.
1. Have you demonstrated understanding?
2. Do you understand?
3. Is this the "right" customer?

More on the right customer another time. But if you market the right way, you'll find the right customer.

Go love your customers... They will love you with their wallets.

Mirrors to your soul, perceptions, and curveballs

I want to share something important that I've learned.
Oh yeah. I love learning new things.

And then again, what I learn isn't necessarily important for you.
Why would you say that?

Life is like that, not all things I learn are important to you. And vice versa.
I'm losing you.

Let me explain using a simple example. My son knows how to throw a "nasty" curve ball. I didn't teach it to him. Someone on youtube did.
He plays baseball?

Yes, he plays the highest level of baseball in our city for his age group. But that's not my point. He knows something I don't. I don't need to learn how to do it.
But don't you want to teach others?

Sure, but I believe a teacher should be able to do before telling someone how to.
Isn't that the opposite of that old saying, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach"?

Not all sayings are universally true. There's truth in them, but there will be always an exception. I guess I'm one of the exceptions.
You do look at the world different.

If you live your life guided by sayings and quotes, you're living your life through others' perceptions. What did you want to share?

It's basically that. Our perceptions are biased by our life experiences and the things we think we know.
Isn't experience the best teacher in life?

Sometimes. Yet other times, experience is just an experience.
But if the lesson is not learned, the experience resurfaces.

Again, maybe. We're getting off subject. Let me share the idea of perceptions. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?
Of course. Every time I'm in the bathroom.

And who do you see?
Me of course.

You're making an assumption the mirror is the right reflection, there is no bend in the glass, the right lamination, lighting and your eyes aren't playing silly games.
But I look the same each time.

Are you sure about that? Do you look the same when you get a picture taken?
I hate seeing pictures of myself.

I don't know how new cameras work, but the old ones used mirrors to capture an image. The minute the angle changes most people don't like what they see of themselves. Yet everyone else sees them exactly the way they have always been.

Get close up and look at your pores around your nose, or cheeks.
Oouf, I'd rather not.

Is that not still you?
I guess.

Better yet, when you speak, do you hear your voice?
Yes.

Do you like to hear yourself talk.
I never really thought about it. But I don't mind talking.

Have you ever heard your voice recorded?
Oh my. I hate it.

But isn't it still you?
Yes. But it embarrasses me that I sound that way. My voice sounds so tinny.

You just have a different perspective. Whether you record your voice, videotape your actions or have pictures taken, technology captures you as you actually are. Yet you don't like it because it doesn't sound or look like the way you think you are.

Huh?

Your perception of what you look like and sound like is only yours. The rest of the world sees you differently.
Why would you say that?

I have a friend who uses Equine Facilitated Training to pull out these obstructions in a person's perceptions.
What is that?

She takes a horse and gets the individual to interact with the horse.
Why a horse? Aren't dogs better for comfort?

I asked the same question. Animals can be either predator or prey. Horses are one of the only domesticated animals that are always prey. If you have an aggressive attitude, the horse will sense it and be afraid. If you are calm, the horse will sense peace and will approach you.
So a horse is like a mirror?

It's the best mirror. It looks directly into your soul and shows you exactly who you are. Reflective mirrors lie. Horses do not.

So how is this important to me?
It's a curve ball. You decide if it is or not. Just remember the person you think you are might not be the person everyone else sees. Whether good or bad...

That's counterintuitive.
The person you hate in the those pictures is the person everyone else knows. How are you not depressed all the time?

Good question...