No country for private men (and women)

Living in a small town reminds me of the differences between country people and city people.

The city is cold, impersonal, friendly but mostly distrusting. Even friends and neighbours are merely acquaintances. The neighbours can hear you fart in the shower. The streetlights light up the neighborhood and the same farting neighbours can see you naked through your window.

In a village, everyone knows everyone. You are so and so’s cousin, or you grew up with Jimmy’s son or daughter. You worked with my mom. You can't hide from your reputation and everyone knows the shit that kept your parents up at night. 

They even know your love interests...all of them since you were five...

If you grew up in a small town, there are few strangers. 

Those who move to town are outsiders but eventually someone nosey enough finds out who bought the Dave Johnson property.

Country folk do that. They name the property after the owner. The owner could be dead for 20 years but the house will still be referred to as the Dave Johnson property.

The newcomers are outsiders. Eventually they get indoctrinated into the community. Because there are no strangers in a community where everyone knows everyone.

I’m one of those newcomers. I come from the country but moved to a new town where I didn't grow up.  

No one knows me. 

They don't know my parents, grandparents, cousins, uncles or friends.

They don't know the shit I did when I was a youngster.

They know the house I bought. It's Sylvie's house, even though I have proof she sold it to us.

I love small towns. 

I witnessed the interactions between six people on this spring morning. We were waiting for the bank to open. Three people were giving each other hugs. They were joking, laughing, consoling and asking how each other’s parents were. The last time I witnessed something like this in the city was at Christmas. But on this April morning, it looks like this could be a daily occurrence in this small town. 

The sense of community was beautiful.

And that’s why I moved to a small town. No one sees me naked. No one hears me fart in the shower. And the sense of community inspires me to be a better person. Even though my house will always be referred to as someone else's.

A hate letter

I wake up every morning and look at you. Not knowing what role you play in my life, I wonder why you're still here?

I think you're lying to me.

Or do you tell me things I don't want to hear?
Words roll around my head, "Isn't that the definition of a friend?"

Without emotion, you just say it the way you see it. Actually it's so matter of fact that it pisses me off.

I've asked you to sugar coat your message.
You never do.

I've ignored you. And you were waiting for me when I was ready to come back.
I've yelled and swore at you. You always listened calmly and non judgemental.

I hate you.  You've been in my life for 20 years. I think I hated you the first day I saw you.

Why did I stick around so long?
Was it hate masked as love?
Or was it necessity?
Who knows?

All I know is I've had enough. You stopped talking to me. You stopped listening.

It's been two chilly weeks. I cannot stand this coldness anymore. Today is the day I'm kicking you to the curb. You are garbage to me.

I'm getting a younger, sexier model.

Can't wait to bring her home and show the kids.

I hope the new set of bathroom scales won't be a bitch like you were.