The mask

We played together
We laughed at the same jokes
We cried when life looked us in the eye
We drank and were merry
But do you know me
How could you?
I barely know myself
I've been wearing a mask my whole life
Hiding from the world
Hiding from you
Hiding from me
And all I want is escape
The life I live is not my own
It is yours, in which I play a role for you to see
I desire to be free
Like an eagle
Majestic, king of the wind
Living a life of extraordinary luxury
With no consequence
Life is dark
Life is lonely
Life is short
You think you know me.
You know my mask
I wear it well.

Need vs Want

You can't always have what you want.
But if you try sometimes.
You get what you need.

Balancing life's priorities with life's desires are two different fish.
It's like comparing a brook trout to a tuna.

We do what we need to do in order to get what we want to do.

The responsible adult struggles with this compromise.
We live a life of desires, through a life of necessity.

Compromising individuals find happiness in life's little treasures. Those who will not compromise live a life of misery and bliss. Life's little treasures are found in life's style. And you can't have lifestyle without style.

There is no middle ground. The smart choice is compromise.

But there's a cost to compromise. It cannot be measured through inaction.

The drug of desire pushes the unsettled into action.

The smoke of need hides our true intentions.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
I don't know. I'll tell you when I grow up.

Suffering from multiple personality disorder

I'm going to tell you something today that I've never shared with anyone, including my wife or my mom.

There are days I wake up and the world is a simple game that can be won. Other days, I would rather die than leave the couch. I can't explain it. The more I think, the worse it gets. If I do non-thinking tasks like watching tv or playing video games, the feelings go away. Some people  may call it bi-polar. But I'd rather not.

I think we all suffer from dual polarity.  It's the extreme cases that get our attention. It's the people who can't escape the lows without help that become dangerous.

I'm not like that. Most likely, neither are you.

I also suffer from a light case of multiple personality disorder. It's never been diagnosed either.

The personality who talks to my mother is a confident Sheldon Cooper.
The guy who talks to my dad is a non-technical Red Green.
When I talk to my sister an less funny Jerry Seinfeld emerges.
My wife would say I'm more like a smart Charlie Brown.

I've noticed that a different character shows up when I need him. It's my mask that I wear in order to live in this complicated world.

Chances are you don't know the real me.

You've only seen the character I allow out when we meet.

I don't think I'm not alone.

In Michael Gerber's E-Myth, the author suggests business owners have three personalities inside of us.
The technician who desires to do the work.
The manager who desires control and lives in the past.
The entrepreneur who is a dreamer and lives in the future.

He thinks every business owner struggles with the conflict of these personalities. And he uses a simple example to explain his point.

Each of us have the skinny and fat personality. If we want to lose weight, one day the skinny person makes the decision to buy the equipment necessary to shed unneeded pounds. He decides to eat better. And in the first few weeks, the skinny guy loses a couple of pounds. The commitment increases. The skinny guy is motivated to continue with increased vigour. Then one day, the results aren't there. The bathroom scale doesn't move. Disappointment sets in a bit as the fat guy shows his shadow telling the skinny guy "I told you so". The next day it rains, or we're tired, or we have too much to do, and the fat guy shows up in full form. We then rationalize why we can't do what we were doing. We break our habits and the fat personality takes over what was always his.

If you have struggled with weight loss, as I have, you know this story all too well.

Business owners struggle with the three personalities.

I believe everyone struggles with a light case of multiple personality disorder.

If not, I might be going mad.

You play to win the game

In sport, we learn to compete. The competitive nature in me makes it hard for me to dial back the intensity while I watched my kids play soccer. I was asked to coach but I declined in fear that my competitiveness would send the wrong message to the kids.

Youth sport is supposed to promote participation and fun. But I noticed in the first year of my kids'  soccer season, the kids tried to keep score. They wanted to win. It wasn't about participation. It was about scoring goals (having glory) and winning (succeeding).

In the words of famous football coach Herman Williams, "You play to win the game!" And it is engrained in us to try to win, even when no one is seemingly keeping score.

The philosophy of winning translates to life, even if we don't think it should. We compete. We try to win. We live to win the game. I'm told life isn't a game.

But it is. We compete with ourselves.  We compete with our neighbours, and our friends.

We know life is supposed to be fun. However, just like youth soccer, we secretly keep score even if we know we're not supposed to.

No one's keeping track. Right?

Italians know style

When we hear the word Italy, we think exotic, sexy, inviting. Italy is just another country, but anything made there is given a heightened brand perception.

Italian is a romantic language for a reason. The romance capital of the world is in Venice. 

Italy is sexy. It calls our name in that sweet, erotic voice. Luring us into its clutches with its beauty. Within its grasp are all things made in the land of love.

Owning an Italian suit says a lot about the man. 

Italian leather has no equal.

Italian food is communal: coffee, pasta, pizza.

The rolling of r's in the language arouses men and women equally.

Would a Ferrari be as sweet if called by any other name?
More importantly, would it be as sweet if it were made in any other country?

What we buy tells a story

We are telling the story of ourselves everyday, though our actions.

We buy what we buy to tell the world and remind ourselves who we are.

Think about that for a minute. The type of car you own is screaming to the world the type of person you are. You bought a Honda or Toyota because you're willing to pay a little more for peace of mind. Or maybe you would rather have a BMW, but Honda is in the budget.  You own a Dodge Caravan or a Hyundai because you don't believe in spending superfluously. Or maybe you own a VW because you love the outdoors and beat the music to your own drum. You own a sportscar because you love adventure. It could be the adventure today or a memory to relive the past.

If you sell a product, customers are buying for these very reasons.  Every person is different. I buy a Honda because I secretly want a BMW but can't justify it.

That's called laddering. We buy what we can afford, until we can afford more. Then we ladder up. If the product cannot ladder up, we buy the next brand that helps us feel like we've laddered.

It's like playing with toys. We play with our toys until we grow up and play with bigger toys.

When you have a strong brand, clients typically hate the other brands. I am a Honda guy. I hate the other brands in the same category. But I don't hate BMW because in my opinion, they don't play the same game.

I hate any computer brand not Apple. Most people who own Dell, Acer, HP, Lenovo wouldn't say that about their PC. Apple is the strong brand in personal computers.

Tim Horton's fans don't understand Starbucks fans. And vice versa. Both are strong brands. Don't go to Tim Horton's with a laptop, you'll feel like the Vichy government at the end of World War II. And if you don't want to be stared at, don't go to Starbucks with your muddy steel toe workboots. That's what drive thru windows were made for.

Come to think of it, I buy Starbucks coffee to prove to myself that I deserve a BMW.  It's funny how $5 coffee acting as an affordable luxury can take away the sting of not buying an amazing car.

I look out in the parking lot and I see four Hondas, three Toyotas, an Acura (a more expensive Honda), two Volkswagens, a Chevrolet and Ford truck and a Saturn.

It's not an exact science but I bet the majority of Starbucks clients also secretly want BMW's. The BMW dealerships should be working on a cross promotion with Starbucks. They will sell more cars to the aspiring but overly responsible crowd.

The secret to killing your competition

The term beach head comes from war. It is a defended position on a beach taken from an enemy by landing forces from which an attack can be launched.

Business is war. Everyday competitors try to take each others clients.  The war becomes bloody unless someone has a  clear strategic advantage.

In the past strategic advantages were created by being the first to advertise to the masses. Procter and Gamble proved with their brands how to create the beach head through the usage of mass media. And today the list is seemingly endless. Look at this picture for a sample size of P&G's products.

If terrorists have taught us anything, you never fight a war head on against a war machine. So what do terrorists do? They use guerrilla warfare. They attack their competitor in ways that would never be expected.

Fighting big companies like P&G head on would be insane. Yet through guerrilla warfare, you can carve out a beach head unknown to your competitor and take a few customers at a time.

Today carving out a beach head is easier than ever before. Mass media used to be the way to get your brand well known. It's only good today if you have the same amount of money that the big advertisers have. They established their beach head and built a fortified city around it. You ain't getting in.

So don't play that game.

Beach heads are found in virgin pastures. Look at your industry and research what no one else is willing to do. Then go do it.

If you own a daycare and no one is advertising on radio, you have your opportunity.
If you own a massage therapy clinic and no one is saying anything remarkable, be bold.
If you own a garbage removal business, and your competitors don't measure cleanliness of its employees, you know what you need to do. Then figure out how to measure it.
If you own a convenience store and no one is offering "old time, customer service values", then you get back to the basics.
If you own a restaurant and no one is using fresh, local products, then you use only fresh local products.
If you own a caulking company and no one has a cool name, you call your company "The Mother Caulkers".
If you own a yoga studio and no one is doing anything remarkable, you offer speed dating at the end of the yoga session because guys are checking out the girls anyways.
If you own a pet supply store you set up displays of dog food like they do in grocery stores.
If you own a coaching business, you offer free clinics to youth sport organizations for their volunteer coaches.

I can go on all day. Nothing is ever won by doing it the way your competitors are doing it. You have to create a beach head in an area where your enemies aren't expecting. Once you do that, the marketing takes care of itself.

Most small businesses have not figured out how to effectively market themselves online. They think a Facebook page, a twitter and linkedin account is what they need to do. The beach head cannot be found there because most competitors are already there.

Where's your beach head?

It's exactly where no one will expect you to be.

Go claim it. The world is waiting for your greatness to show up.