Insane in the brain

I watched a community of ants scream as I guided three simultaneous blades of tornado terror over their city. 

I wonder if their gods predicted my devastation.

It's fairly predictable from my perspective. 10 times per year, the tornado rolls in and kills countless citizens of three neighboring towns of Anthill, Antville and Antopolis. And every time, the town is rebuilt and ready for the next "natural" disaster.

The definition of crazy is "mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild, aggressive way".

Insanity is defined as "extremely foolish; irrational or illogical".

By definition, I'm not crazy, but it looks like I'm insane.

Illogical is a series of steps that no one has yet defined as being real.

But someone has to be first.

Someone has to be illogical in thought before logic can be accepted.

Most un-normal behaviours start out as unacceptable until there's a tipping point.

That tipping point is about 16%.

Once 16% of a population accept a behaviour as being acceptable, then it is no longer considered wrong, illogical or insane.

But if you're alone in thought, opinion or theory, without 16% of the people in agreement, then you're insane.

Just like me.

Tattoos were taboo until 15 year old girls started inking cute butterflies on their ankles and 40 year old men started getting sleeves to show how bad-ass they were.

Nose rings, thongs, mohawks, thoughts, opinions are now readily accepted as you celebrate individualism, self expression, and personal freedom.

Everything is illogical until it is proven to be.

Everything is weird until is accepted to be normal.

Everything is off, until 16% of the population accepts it to be ok.

Time might not be linear.

Life might not be what you think it is.

What if your world does not end in death?

What if your life is nothing more than death, while you wait to live?

Perspective is as magical for us as it is for the dirt building colonists in our backyards.

I'm insane in the membrane...

Are Brain Orgasms real or part of a dream?

Is a dream a deluge from reality?  That question came to me in meditation.

I've never written the word “deluge” before. I didn't know what it meant. It sounded right in my head so I looked it up.

It’s a perfect word. It means to wash away. 
How did I know that? 

And why did I put those random words to thought in a soulful journey?

As most irreconcilable questions, the answer is, “I don’t know”.

Meditation is an interesting voyage going to nowhere and everywhere in the same moment. With each passing second, while quieting the mind, there is lots of traffic. 
Thought traffic!!!
Traffic sucks. You never seem to get where you need to when there’s so much whizzing around.

In my meditations, I have experiences embraced with clues. 

The first time, it was weird, but I allowed it to enter my vortex. 
Before I could get to where I wanted to go, It ended. 
I couldn’t get it back.

The harder I tried to search, the less luck I had. 
I've learned you can't chase the clues in mediation.
They have to come to you.

It doesn't come when I force it.
It shows up when I don't expect it.
The experience is magical. It's a tingle that starts at the head and works its way down my spine and takes over my whole body.
This tingle happens outside of mediation too, but it's more pronounced when I'm completely relaxed.

If I think about my grandma, the tingle can appear.
As I write this line, the "spider senses" are activating again. 

I believe, clues can come from the simplest of places, when we are open to receive them.

I identify my clues when my "tingly" senses act up.

It’s more exhilarating than sex, more fulfilling than love and more rewarding than a mother’s kind word. 
It’s addictive. 
I search for it to puncture my skin each time I journey into the black hole of meditation. 

Sometimes I wonder if there are real clues in mediation or if my mind is racing in the morning traffic to get to work.

The sensation is so incredible, I've whispered “Wow” out loud a few times. 
There is no fear, no worry. 
I feel love in the moment and at the same time I feel nothing. 

It’s a comfortable numb. 
It's a shot of rum.
It's a pat on the head.
It's a cuddled embrace.
It's a kind word.
It's a rush of adrenaline.
Yet, it's not real.
Except in my mind.

When the feeling comes, 
My worries exit stage left. 
My fears skydive away. 
The feeling is like a current of electricity pulsating through my body. 

"Tingle" is the best way to describe the feeling. It's the same feeling that makes the hair on your arms stick up but in a good way. 

I've noticed this phenomena in my body for the last 3 years. As I was writing about my experience, I googled it and found that I'm not the only one with this sensation.

It's called AMSR: Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's been referred to as a brain orgasm.

I feel better for having experienced it.
And crave it more, just like an addiction.

I wonder if my life is a dream or my dream is a life.

I wonder if my reality is a theme park for spirits to enjoy bad things like fear, overindulgence, and death.
I wonder why these feelings come to me at very specific times, as if to carry a clue to the mystery of my life.

There is a connection in meditation land. Although some senses like hearing can't pick up the drone of the air conditioner, it picks up my own voice saying, "wow". 

And when I'm done searching for my clues and the feeling has passed, I open my eyes, feeling like I've been transported from a place where Time has no meaning to where Time is a thief.

Time is like a race.

You treat Time like it's a race.
You live and then you die.
And while you live, you try to survive.
And while you survive, you try to strive.
And while you try to strive, you try to thrive.
And while you try to thrive, you're wishing to die.
Death comes to you when no one is looking.
And the race against Time becomes the race
to nowhere...

I am out of time.
I don't have enough time.
If I only had more time.
Time cannot be owned.
It is a figment of our imagination.
We invented Time to give life context.

The porcupine does not have a clock.
The squirrel does not invest for retirement.
The shark does not need an alarm to get ready for his day.

Humans treat Time like it's linear.
It's 2017, in 365 Earth rotations, it will be 2018.
Time is not linear. It's cyclical.
Just like a NASCAR race.

Oh Look! Another left turn.
Four turns and you're back to where we started.
Four turns takes a lifetime.
Four turns and you're dead.
While you pass the baton to the next driver.

It's been proven by generational theorists that it takes 4 generations to return to the same position as their great grandparents.
A generation is considered to be about 20 years.
Average life expectancy for humans is a bit more than 80 years.
4 turns, 4 generations, 1 life.

You race your life living for tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
But Tomorrow does not exist.
In 24 hours, Tomorrow will be Today.
And Tomorrow will always be 24 hours a way.
Around the next turn.
Never to be seen, but wished upon continuously.
There's only Today.

You have one life.
You have no Tomorrows.
Only Today.

So while you race your life around the track, what turn are you in?
You only have 4.
Don't wish for the next turn, it could be your home stretch.
Once you cross the finish line, there's no do-over.

Love actually...

You were loved the moment I saw you.
Immediate, instantaneous, cosmic.
You touched my finger.
I touched back.
Magic in one moment when our eyes hurried to the same place.

Years have past,
It seems like a breath ago.

I take you for granted,
Although I've always said I loved you.
I didn't know its meaning,
Until I almost lost you.

Tears clouded my vision,
Fear crowded my thoughts,
Worry about what was, could never be again.
All the things I never thought of,
Made me realize how fragile we really are,

You ain't superhuman,
No matter how strong you look.
You ain't invincible,
No matter how healthy you eat.
You ain't unbeatable,
No matter how fit you be.
You are human,
So am I.
We are mortal.
We must die.

But until that time, when our fingers will not touch,
I hold dear the moment that we loved, lived, and laughed.
And hope that our fingers will touch forever,
Even though I know that it cannot be.

But I will love you for ever,
As I promised the day I first touched your finger,
Forever being a day, a week, a month, a year.
I will love you for what ever it shall be.
And what ever shall come.

For you are my child, my friend, my son.
And I am your child, your friend, your son.

You and your problems

You are strong.
You don't always need people to lean on.
People let us down.
All of the time.

When you need a shoulder to cry on,
The person takes it away.
You don't know why.

They've had enough of your drama,
they have their own problems,
they don't know how to help,
they don't want to help.

In any case, the problem isn't theirs.
It's yours.
And no one can fix it but you.
You want someone else to fix it for you.
But they won't, can't, and don't.
It's up to you.

You've learned that when shit hits the fan,
There is one person you can depend on.
Whether you like her or not.
She stares at you through the mirror.

You want to be cuddled
Mom will try but you're too big for that now.
Dad won't try because he never did that.
No one else is there but the girl in the mirror.

You're not certain who can help
Who will help.
You want someone who should help.
And they don't help.
They can't.

You feel alone.
Paralyzed by a decision
Sickened by choice.
Mangled by options.
Disabled by confusion.

All the answers sit with the girl in the mirror.
If you get out of her way.
You are perfect.
Praise the girl in the mirror.
It's the best way you will get past this.

The single most important word

Talking randomly with my kids about business one morning, my boy informed me that a business did not exist to make money. 

Intrigued by the innocence of a child, I was excited to hear his perspective.

He has been born with insight that few adults have.

"Dad, if a business's purpose was to make money, then no one would want to buy their stuff there".

Baboom! Drop the mic. The kid's a genius.
A kid who is being thrown away by the school system, his future is as bright as he wants it to be.

"Ok, but what does a business stand for?", I asked him.

"Businesses are just like people. Selfish people do not get what they want until they give someone else what they want."

I'll take credit for that line. He's heard it enough that it was easy for him to spit it back at me.
The kid is right. Selfishness cannot get you what you want. It will be a constant fight as you work from a mindset of limited resources. Other selfish people will fight you for what you want. Generous people won't support you unless they benefit from your lowest prices.

The easy road to your success is helping others with what they want.
The difficult path is to be selfish.
Choose the route you want, but why suffer when you don't have to.

In anything you do, figure out how to help someone get what they want.

In writing, put focus on the reader, not on your own life.

In business, emphasis how your potential customer's life can be better.

In athletics, make your teammates stronger and brag your competitors.

At work, promote and brag your colleagues.

In life, put your spouse on a pedestal.

In friendships, be concerned how your friends are doing, not caring if they ask how you are doing.

In conversations, ask your questions and then listen intently.

In parenting, ask your children what they want and teach them how they can have it.

In advertising, put the focus of your message on the customer.

The single most important word in the world is YOU.

As you work towards a selfless life, YOU will find that YOU can get what YOU want much easier.

Give someone what they want and mysteriously you will get what you want. It's one of the universal laws.

I'm going to call it the Law of Generosity.

What would happen if...

Imagine if all entrepreneurs went collectively on strike.

There would be
No grocery stores,
No pharmacies,
No garages,
No restaurants,
No coffeeshops,
No gas stations,
No physiotherapy, or chiropractor clinics,
No cell phone companies,
No cable or news shows,
No Facebook,
No computers,
No clothing retailers,
and no other businesses...

Unless the government deemed them as essential.

And they were continued using public funds to support operational expenses.

The government has already proven they cannot run anything important.

Look at our medical services or educational services, if you're not sure.

When education and healthcare are managed privately,
It costs more.
You don't wait 6 months for an MRI,
And you don't wait 8 hours in Emergency to see a doctor about a cracked rib.

Government is not good at managing business.
They are really good at spending money.

There are two types of organizations: Those who give and those who loot.

The givers are the most successful. They build dreams on hope: hope for themselves, hope for their children, hope for the community, hope for the future.

The looters are selfish. They are in the minority. They leave a bad taste for all the givers. And for that, governments establish processes and laws to protect the innocent from the anyone who could be a looter (both the good and the bad).

Government officials don't talk about their dreams.
Dreams can't exist when the lifecycle is only 4 and 8 years.

Governments hype on Hope. It's not the same Hope we believe.
A government's hope is a strategy to sell the public on hopeful candidates.
We hope this time it will be better and it never is.
We hope this leader will give us a solid foundation.
And when that hope lingers like a stale fart, we fire his ass to allow for a new Hope to present himself.

Elected officials eventually become looters. Long after their time is up, they loot from a pension plan contributed to by our tax dollars.
Who will be the first elected official who will repeal his pension for benefit of the taxpayers?

Governments can't and won't solve any of our socio economic problems. They act like they want to help but they can't.
Fundamentally they are looters.

We need industry to help us.
We need the givers to step up.
The good corporations are the only hope we truly have to make our lives better.

As a child, my parents taught me an important lesson: get up and go to work despite how I felt. The world does not wait for the lazy.

I hear of problems in my province about the debt, about the tax base and the lack of industry to support the provincial deficit. And all I think about is the lesson about going to work.

It's time to get to work.
It's not time for vacation.
It's not time to have more time off.
It's time to work more.
It's time to work harder.
It's time to stop taking.

When the cupboards are bare and the well is dry, who will we blame then?
We can no longer be looters when it comes to our province.

I'm talking about all looters: government, private industry, individuals, and citizens.
It's time to get to work.
Stop with the statutory holidays.
Stop with increased taxation.

If the answer is get rid of industry, then be done with it.
And see where that gets us.

If the answer is to cut back on services, then do it.
And see where that gets us.

If the answer is to get rid of the current governmental system, then be done with it.
And see where that gets us.

The time for talk is over.
It's time to get to work.

I yearn for someone who will finally speak the truth and stop bullshitting us.
No more politics.
No more half truths.
No more gamesmanship.

We cannot continue down this path to insolvency and expect it to change on its own.

The provincial debt is increasing despite the lack of an economic recession.

That means we're spending more money than we have.
Do that in your personal life and you'll lose your home.
Do that in politics and you get a raise.

Something is really messed up.
And it's not just my province with the small tax base.
It's all of them.