Let's talk about rules

Rules are meant to be broken.

Without rules, society would crumble.

Rules, rules, rules. Thinking about rules this morning as I drove my kids to school.

My son didn't want to be late to school. I promised him a fishing rod. This morning, as he was dragging his feet, getting ready for school. I put a zip in his step by removing my promise if he was late to school.

So as we jumped in the car, he told me, "Step on it". The next five minutes we talked about laws, and the consequences to breaking laws. Declaring there were no policemen around, I asked if it was ok to break rules when no one was looking. Another teachable moment I thought to myself...

Getting home, laws kept bubbling to the surface of my boiling brain. There is one law that cannot be misunderstood - Pareto's Law. Most of us will know it as the 80/20 rule.

80% of profits come from 20% of our customers.
80% of our joy comes from 20% of our day.
80% of our memories come from 20% of our activities.
80% of our wisdom comes from 20% of our experiences.
80% of our health comes from 20% of the choices we make.

If Pareto's Law is true, then it's the small things that make the biggest impact on our lives, our loves, our children, our jobs and our memories.

Using a business example for a second, imagine what the marketing budget looks like when a restaurant focuses so intently on its existing client base that the only clients they lose are those who die, move or have a life altering event.

It's easier said than done, but imagine finding out what exactly makes your spouse feel appreciated. Then doing more of those activities no matter how small and insignificant they seem to you.

80% of appreciation will be felt by 20% of your effort.

Is it hard to say "Thank you"? How about washing the dishes after a hearty dinner? Maybe making the bed every morning is a simple message of appreciation?

It doesn't matter what it is, the rule is simple and true. The majority of rewards will come from a much smaller portion of your activities.

To succeed with money, joy, memories, wisdom, love and health, my recommendation is to identify those influential activities so you can do more of them to reap even greater rewards in your life.

Now I know why it seems like my kids don't listen to me.

80% of the things I tell them gets absorbed 20% of the time.

What we remember the most...

As I write this, Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again", is playing in the background of my brain. Sitting in a hotel room thinking of the events of a simple transaction yesterday creates a slight upward thought that encourages the corner of my lips to go in the same upward direction.

Last night, I arrived at my hotel destination. The hotel has been in this city for 25 years. It is my preferred spot to sleep in this town. It's a huge multinational chain and it's not the cheapest hotel out there. It doesn't have complimentary breakfasts. I've never seen its pool.  This is the type of hotel I wouldn't bring my kids. Yet, the first time I stayed here, when I was 23, we had a wild and crazy night. A wedding shindig that ended up with all our friends dancing on the roof of the foyer. I looked down from my room tonight to see that very same roof and wondered if the hotel management ever welded shut those windows on the 3rd floor. We can't be the only ones to ever do that...

Nostalgia out of the way, the hotel had a facelift since my last visit. It's beautiful as far as hotel lobbies go. I remember a hotel lobby once in Manhattan that had all the treasures of richness only to misrepresent my expectations of the hotel rooms. From that one experience, I learned to never judge a hotel book from its lobby cover.  

The employee at the front desk answers my questions about the facelift by saying, "We went through a massive renovation in 2011. That year was an extremely tough year as we worked through the discomfort of change. But thanks to that trying time, you and I can both enjoy our time here today."

How philosophical that statement is for both this hotel and people in general. Thanks nameless hotel guy for this wonderful line that I will now use unapologetically for the rest of my life.

Before he hands over the room key, he delights me with another gift. With my room comes a complimentary "premium" beer at the bar. 

What??? I've never been given a free beer before in a hotel. 

A free beer. 

A gift.

No strings attached.

It wasn't advertised on Expedia when I booked the room. And it never will be. 

The beer price is built into the price. It's not going to show up on an expense claim. It's such a small gift that most competitors don't think it has value. The value is massive. It created a moment of delight. It's different and it's remarkable enough to share. And share ability is what any good business should be striving for.

After enjoying my free beer, I went to the room to witness that the cover of this hotel book was well representative of its contents. The room was great! Yet, it was the toiletries that brought another smile across my increasingly impressed face.  The hotel took the simple and made it impressionable. A simple message usually reserved for the social mechanisms of Facebook or Pinterest. And now I'm sharing it.

I know. It's just soap. But for me, this simple message could have been easily left off the bottles like every other hotel chain does. And it wouldn't have changed my overall experience. But this little message becomes a layer of increasing positiveness that warms my heart, encourages my fingers to type, intrigues my brain and moves my wallet.

It's not enough to attain average. Good is the enemy of great. No one remembers the average. No one cares about the mediocre.

In football we cheer for the star quarterback, not the faceless centre.

In business, we remember the shareable experiences, not the ones that are like everyone else.

In life, we remember the crazy moments, not the everyday ones where we just live and put in time.

Culture and Energy

Going to my favourite sandwich franchise today, I witnessed real magic. This was not the slight of hand magic trick that illusionists do. This magic is stuff concocted by marketing wizards. But even marketing wizards cannot dream up what an 18 year old cashier was able to do at this location.

Let me explain. A new dessert is plastered all over the dining room. This is nothing special. Many restaurants promote a monthly special or a new product this way. They try to instigate trial to raise average cheque or to increase frequency of visit. This is the usual marketing practice and this is where these promotions fail. They don't have an active ability to encourage staff to sell the product. And most good products die on the idea table because of the inability to sell on the floor.

I have been at other franchised units in this chain and nothing compares to the experience I received today. It was remarkable. No. It was shareable. And that's all any good business should be striving for - share ability!

So, when I got to the cash to order my sandwich, there was a plain white piece of paper taped to the cash register. The page explained that the chain had a national sales contest amongst stores to sell the most desserts. This location was currently second in the country. The winner will get Henrik Zetterberg, who is a well known NHL hockey player, to visit the store.

The page wasn't remarkable. Although the story was interesting, it wasn't enough to get me excited. I don't live in this town. I don't like the team Zetterberg plays for and I don't give two shits about the player either.

So a young girl comes to the cash to take my order and here's the interaction between us.

"Would you like a Snowball with your sandwich?"
"No thank you".
"We're currently in second place in the country. If we finish in first in the country by selling enough Snowballs, we're gonna get Henrick Zetterberg in our store."
"Yeah, I see that, but no thanks"
"Did you know they are only $____ (I can't remember the exact price)?"
"Yeah, but I really don't want sugar".
"You can give it to someone else if you'd like, but it's gluten free and each one only has 73 calories. You deserve a treat".
"You're making it tough on me, but I'm still gonna decline."
"Ok, it's going to be amazing to have a real NHL'er in our store. Do you know how many young kids this could affect."

She still had a smile on her face the whole time. She wasn't pushy. She was energetic. She was supporting a community cause - getting an NHL'er in her store. Everyone in front of me ordered one. I have no doubt this store is going to win the contest because of the young people working there.  Then I watched the rest of the team interact with each other and with customers as they smiled, laughed and joked around.

This location has become my favourite store in this chain. The management team has embraced a national promotion and created an energy that increases employee interaction with customers, average cheque, community spirit, and ultimately customer delight.

Congratulations Pita Pit Oromocto. You impressed me and that's not easy to do!

Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 15

This is IT. The last full day that I'm a single parent. Tomorrow our Queen comes home!

I'm not sure if I was in denial or if I'm getting worn down by the kids. They are starting to bug me. And I'm bugging them. They've released the "idontlikes" on me. For 14 days, things went amazingly well. But today, the fighting has begun.

First of all, I'm definitely part of the problem. Letting an eight year old watch hockey until 11:20 is not a good idea, even if it does make him happy at the time. I've repaid that debt today.

Second of all, the kids are getting tired of eating down the stored food supply. As the pickins get slimmer, the kids get whinier. Today the whining was based on the lack of snacks we had in the pantry. According to both kids, snacks that no one likes means nothing to eat. I asked, pleaded, begged, and cried for them to eat up the remaining crappy snacks we had left so that mommy could go buy the good stuff again. But alas, I am but one man, and the kids can see through my weakness. They know their saviour will be home tomorrow and all that is wrong with the world will be righted again upon the royal return of the Beautiful Highness.

The dog tried to commit suicide! Things must be going downhill. She puked in her bed, on the kitchen floor, on the sofa, on the boy's favourite blanket and now on one of the chairs. She's still eating. Just to be safe, I will keep her out of the kennel for the night. She'll sleep near me where I can keep an eye on her.

There was an empty plastic wrapper on the floor. It looked like one of the candy wrappers you would get at the end of a restaurant meal. But when I looked closer, I saw little pebbles that looked like little clear marbles. The bag looked like something you'd find in a new jacket pocket. I don't know where this bag came from but the dog ate it. She probably wanted to end her life. She has no reason to live without her mommy and sleeping in a kennel every night is no way to sleep for a royal princess.

We spoke to the Queen as she was waiting for a taxi to bring her to the airport. She's tired and can't wait to get home. She's got 24 hours of flying and hanging around in airports. If she's tired now, wait until we pick her up tomorrow. She's gonna be exhausted, with two little kids wanting to catch up on the lack of attention.

I'm done. Things are starting to piss me off. I want to go back to work and not have to worry about supper, laundry, dog puke and bed times. It will be nice to see my Queen.

I miss her a lot.

I wonder if she misses me at all...

Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 14

I had the best sleep last night. Probably had something to do with no 3 am whining wake up calls from the dog. Nevertheless the day started with me waking up from a dream where I was putting the dog out for a pee. Coming into consciousness, I remembered putting her in the garage last night. So I hustled downstairs not worrying about a t-shirt nor socks. She needs to go outside. She was happy to see me and rushed to the front door. Once she was outside, it gave me a chance to do my business.  I hear a bark, followed by a double bark, followed by a triple bark. Rushing to the door, barely getting my shorts back on, the only thought is that someone is walking on the road and the dog is sprinting toward them. When I get to the door, she's ten feet away looking off to the left, bouncing as she takes every threatening bark. She doesn't come to my command, which isn't surprising. I have to break her concentration so I clap my hands, shout her name, whistle but to no avail. I'm getting cold. Yet she's focused on something. Probably a raven, I think to myself. She bolts across the lawn to the left of the driveway. The side of the house obscures my view, so I step out onto the cold cement step to peer off to the left. There's a massive raccoon to the left of the driveway and my 15 pound dog has decided to chase it down. In a pair of shorts, I sprint barefoot out the driveway to stop my puppy from getting her life clawed out. Stupid dog probably thinks the raccoon is another defenseless declawed kitty like her friend in the house.

I convince the dog that this animal is not worth her time. She'd kick this kitty's ass. "Come on, now, leave him alone, he's not worth it." I must have said something that broke her focus. Maybe it was the yelling at this early morning hour that surely woke the neighborhood, but in either case, she agreed and we ran back to the house together. Only when I get back inside that I realize that I was barefoot and bare chest on this chilly April morning. My feet started hurting from the little pebbles trying to penetrate the epidermus of the soles of my feet. With the adrenaline rush of chasing my guard dog, I was not cold until I got back into the house.

Today is clean-up day part two. My queen will be home in two days and I must make her castle look as good as it was before she left. So after the kids are fed, I take upon the task of completing my cleaning list.

The boy liked the fact there was more time for playing today.

The girl drew pictures most of the day.

Supper was another hit. My mom taught me that everything is better deep fried. So I took some fish that no one would eat but me, rolled it in batter and deep fried it to everyone's demand for more. I gained 4 pounds while our queen was away and we never ate in a restaurant once. I definitely don't make the same nutritious meals that mommy makes.

The boy wanted to watch his favourite hockey team play in tonight's playoffs, so once again he went for a 6 pm nap. I woke him up at 8 pm to watch the game. At one point, we were snuggling on the sofa, watching the game and drinking our beers, when I rubbed his head and told him I loved him. He straightened up, turned to me and said, "I know". Wanting to know how an eight year old sees love, I asked him how he knew. His answer created a tear out of the corner of my left eye. "Because you tell me almost every day".

Despite all the shit we go through, all the discipline, all the disappointments, my boy knows I love him because he says I tell him almost every day. He couldn't have made my day any better with that.

The game went into overtime. There's no way we're going to stay up and watch the extra period or periods. It's a school night. So I offer the boy a solution. We go to my bedroom, turn on the TV and lay in bed. With a suitable solution, we go to bed. About 20 minutes go by, as I wander off to never never land, the boy shouts in joy. His team has scored the game winning goal. Great, now we can turn off the TV and go to sleep. He accepts my offer to sleep with me tonight, so away we go together to our independent dream worlds.

Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 13

Second Saturday of my single parent life means today is the day I get to do the work I will never get paid for. But it has to be done so I start my workday at 9 am. The kids entertain themselves so I'm left to clean, clean, clean. This is more spring cleaning than anything else, but it is going to be so worth it.

Around three in the afternoon, we decide to hit the local ice cream shop that has reopened to the nice weather. The kids sucker me into buying a medium sized cone for each of them. I haven't spent much time with them today, so to compensate for my lack of time, I buy their love with an extra scoop of frozen sugared cream. There's no way they are gonna eat the mountain of sugar so we get an accompanying bowl so I don't have to do more cleaning in the car afterwards.

We bring the car to the car wash and give it a soapy shower to surprise our Queen upon her arrival. Then we slip over to the grocery store to pick up some bathroom cleaner. Nothing smells better than a clean bathroom. Gotta show mommy that we've worked hard while she was away.

But before we can get the bathroom cleaner, the boy declares that he has too much ice cream. Luckily I didn't buy any for me. His scoop and a half has become my treat for working so hard today. But it means I have to eat it before we go inside or the dog, who we've brought along for our adventure, will surely eat it or spill it. So we spend five minutes in the parking lot, while I devour the left over sugar cream. While in the car, our daughter and I realize that sugar has affected the boy more than usual. He is bouncing from one seat to another and he's not listening. Going into the grocery store was interesting. He was grabbing things off the shelves like a two year old. I was constantly reminding him to keep up or put that back or don't touch that.

Getting back to the car after purchasing the needed supplies, our daughter immediately opens the door to an awaiting, happy puppy, who decides that she's not going to be locked up for another second. She escapes the vehicle and runs around the car to greet me on the driver's side. Luckily, she doesn't run around the parking lot and also as lucky there wasn't any traffic at the moment of her escape. Worried, I pick up the dog and jump back into the car. Another close call...

Then as we're leaving the parking lot, the boy asks if I will play hockey with him. I explain to him that I have to make supper first. I'm tired. I'm losing my patience and I'm hungry. The trinity of potential pissed off-ness. Then he activates the trinity by saying, "Well this is just another junk day."

I lost it on him asking where ice cream, playing with the water hose, getting his bike out and some of the other little things we did ranked on his junk day. He never said a word the rest of the way home. About an hour later, he came to see me and sincerely apologized. This is the second apology I've received from my children since the Queen started cruising South America. I'm liking this new attitude. His little remark lost his hockey viewing priveleges, so he was working hard to get them back.

In the end, he got them back. Remember, I just want to be a good dad. I made my point. And we'll all friends again.

The rest of the night was great. No other issues. We did play a bit later that night.

I put in a big day. Don't want to say what I did in case the Queen reads the blog.

The puppy got another kennel night. She's getting frustrated with her nightly prison. Tonight she started whining and scratching at the door when I was putting the kids to bed. No patience to outlast the painful cries of a lonely dog, I put the kennel in the garage. It's not that cold anymore. If she wants to pull this spoiled dog crap, she can do it where no one will here her.

Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 12

The Queen emailed us. I could see her tears in her response to our funny video. The kids are starting to miss her. Later on that night, she Skyped us. The kids were competing for the screen and a fight almost broke out as they talked to their mother. Luckily, mommy's internet connection was very good. Her video was choppy so she didn't see the war that was about to erupt. Or she was just so happy to see us, she just ignored it.

Our daughter is still sick and may be getting worse. She didn't want to get up this morning. When I finally woke her up, she covered her face in her blankets and exclaimed that she didn't sleep much. Oh, oh! I can't afford a sick kid staying home from school. With no fever, she went to school and had a good day otherwise.

Our son watched his second playoff hockey game. Wearing his Montreal Canadien jersey, he watched every move as if he were a scout, chomping on his popcorn and sipping on his beer. Don't worry mommy, it was the Root kind. His grandfather called to tease him when the opposing team scored. The teasing didn't phase him and he insisted that we call him back when his team scored. It's a lot of fun watching hockey with him. I have seen more complete games with my boy than I have otherwise watched in five years. We have real father/son moments when we sit down, watch some puck and drink some beer.

Dog got another kennel night. She started yapping immediately this time, but quickly calmed down when she realized that no one was coming to save her. Her saviour is 5000 miles away and she can't hear her.