In sport, we learn to compete. The competitive nature in me makes it hard for me to dial back the intensity while I watched my kids play soccer. I was asked to coach but I declined in fear that my competitiveness would send the wrong message to the kids.
Youth sport is supposed to promote participation and fun. But I noticed in the first year of my kids' soccer season, the kids tried to keep score. They wanted to win. It wasn't about participation. It was about scoring goals (having glory) and winning (succeeding).
In the words of famous football coach Herman Williams, "You play to win the game!" And it is engrained in us to try to win, even when no one is seemingly keeping score.
The philosophy of winning translates to life, even if we don't think it should. We compete. We try to win. We live to win the game. I'm told life isn't a game.
But it is. We compete with ourselves. We compete with our neighbours, and our friends.
We know life is supposed to be fun. However, just like youth soccer, we secretly keep score even if we know we're not supposed to.
No one's keeping track. Right?
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Italians know style
When we hear the word Italy, we think exotic, sexy, inviting. Italy is just another country, but anything made there is given a heightened brand perception.
Would a Ferrari be as sweet if called by any other name?
More importantly, would it be as sweet if it were made in any other country?
Italian is a romantic language for a reason. The romance capital of the world is in Venice.
Italy is sexy. It calls our name in that sweet, erotic voice. Luring us into its clutches with its beauty. Within its grasp are all things made in the land of love.
Owning an Italian suit says a lot about the man.
Italian leather has no equal.
Italian food is communal: coffee, pasta, pizza.
The rolling of r's in the language arouses men and women equally.
Would a Ferrari be as sweet if called by any other name?
More importantly, would it be as sweet if it were made in any other country?
Monday, November 9, 2015
What we buy tells a story
We are telling the story of ourselves everyday, though our actions.
We buy what we buy to tell the world and remind ourselves who we are.
Think about that for a minute. The type of car you own is screaming to the world the type of person you are. You bought a Honda or Toyota because you're willing to pay a little more for peace of mind. Or maybe you would rather have a BMW, but Honda is in the budget. You own a Dodge Caravan or a Hyundai because you don't believe in spending superfluously. Or maybe you own a VW because you love the outdoors and beat the music to your own drum. You own a sportscar because you love adventure. It could be the adventure today or a memory to relive the past.
If you sell a product, customers are buying for these very reasons. Every person is different. I buy a Honda because I secretly want a BMW but can't justify it.
That's called laddering. We buy what we can afford, until we can afford more. Then we ladder up. If the product cannot ladder up, we buy the next brand that helps us feel like we've laddered.
It's like playing with toys. We play with our toys until we grow up and play with bigger toys.
When you have a strong brand, clients typically hate the other brands. I am a Honda guy. I hate the other brands in the same category. But I don't hate BMW because in my opinion, they don't play the same game.
I hate any computer brand not Apple. Most people who own Dell, Acer, HP, Lenovo wouldn't say that about their PC. Apple is the strong brand in personal computers.
Tim Horton's fans don't understand Starbucks fans. And vice versa. Both are strong brands. Don't go to Tim Horton's with a laptop, you'll feel like the Vichy government at the end of World War II. And if you don't want to be stared at, don't go to Starbucks with your muddy steel toe workboots. That's what drive thru windows were made for.
Come to think of it, I buy Starbucks coffee to prove to myself that I deserve a BMW. It's funny how $5 coffee acting as an affordable luxury can take away the sting of not buying an amazing car.
I look out in the parking lot and I see four Hondas, three Toyotas, an Acura (a more expensive Honda), two Volkswagens, a Chevrolet and Ford truck and a Saturn.
It's not an exact science but I bet the majority of Starbucks clients also secretly want BMW's. The BMW dealerships should be working on a cross promotion with Starbucks. They will sell more cars to the aspiring but overly responsible crowd.
We buy what we buy to tell the world and remind ourselves who we are.
Think about that for a minute. The type of car you own is screaming to the world the type of person you are. You bought a Honda or Toyota because you're willing to pay a little more for peace of mind. Or maybe you would rather have a BMW, but Honda is in the budget. You own a Dodge Caravan or a Hyundai because you don't believe in spending superfluously. Or maybe you own a VW because you love the outdoors and beat the music to your own drum. You own a sportscar because you love adventure. It could be the adventure today or a memory to relive the past.
If you sell a product, customers are buying for these very reasons. Every person is different. I buy a Honda because I secretly want a BMW but can't justify it.
That's called laddering. We buy what we can afford, until we can afford more. Then we ladder up. If the product cannot ladder up, we buy the next brand that helps us feel like we've laddered.
It's like playing with toys. We play with our toys until we grow up and play with bigger toys.
When you have a strong brand, clients typically hate the other brands. I am a Honda guy. I hate the other brands in the same category. But I don't hate BMW because in my opinion, they don't play the same game.
I hate any computer brand not Apple. Most people who own Dell, Acer, HP, Lenovo wouldn't say that about their PC. Apple is the strong brand in personal computers.
Tim Horton's fans don't understand Starbucks fans. And vice versa. Both are strong brands. Don't go to Tim Horton's with a laptop, you'll feel like the Vichy government at the end of World War II. And if you don't want to be stared at, don't go to Starbucks with your muddy steel toe workboots. That's what drive thru windows were made for.
Come to think of it, I buy Starbucks coffee to prove to myself that I deserve a BMW. It's funny how $5 coffee acting as an affordable luxury can take away the sting of not buying an amazing car.
I look out in the parking lot and I see four Hondas, three Toyotas, an Acura (a more expensive Honda), two Volkswagens, a Chevrolet and Ford truck and a Saturn.
It's not an exact science but I bet the majority of Starbucks clients also secretly want BMW's. The BMW dealerships should be working on a cross promotion with Starbucks. They will sell more cars to the aspiring but overly responsible crowd.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
The secret to killing your competition
The term beach head comes from war. It is a defended position on a beach taken from an enemy by landing forces from which an attack can be launched.
Business is war. Everyday competitors try to take each others clients. The war becomes bloody unless someone has a clear strategic advantage.
In the past strategic advantages were created by being the first to advertise to the masses. Procter and Gamble proved with their brands how to create the beach head through the usage of mass media. And today the list is seemingly endless. Look at this picture for a sample size of P&G's products.
If terrorists have taught us anything, you never fight a war head on against a war machine. So what do terrorists do? They use guerrilla warfare. They attack their competitor in ways that would never be expected.
Fighting big companies like P&G head on would be insane. Yet through guerrilla warfare, you can carve out a beach head unknown to your competitor and take a few customers at a time.
Today carving out a beach head is easier than ever before. Mass media used to be the way to get your brand well known. It's only good today if you have the same amount of money that the big advertisers have. They established their beach head and built a fortified city around it. You ain't getting in.
So don't play that game.
Beach heads are found in virgin pastures. Look at your industry and research what no one else is willing to do. Then go do it.
If you own a daycare and no one is advertising on radio, you have your opportunity.
If you own a massage therapy clinic and no one is saying anything remarkable, be bold.
If you own a garbage removal business, and your competitors don't measure cleanliness of its employees, you know what you need to do. Then figure out how to measure it.
If you own a convenience store and no one is offering "old time, customer service values", then you get back to the basics.
If you own a restaurant and no one is using fresh, local products, then you use only fresh local products.
If you own a caulking company and no one has a cool name, you call your company "The Mother Caulkers".
If you own a yoga studio and no one is doing anything remarkable, you offer speed dating at the end of the yoga session because guys are checking out the girls anyways.
If you own a pet supply store you set up displays of dog food like they do in grocery stores.
If you own a coaching business, you offer free clinics to youth sport organizations for their volunteer coaches.
I can go on all day. Nothing is ever won by doing it the way your competitors are doing it. You have to create a beach head in an area where your enemies aren't expecting. Once you do that, the marketing takes care of itself.
Most small businesses have not figured out how to effectively market themselves online. They think a Facebook page, a twitter and linkedin account is what they need to do. The beach head cannot be found there because most competitors are already there.
Where's your beach head?
It's exactly where no one will expect you to be.
Go claim it. The world is waiting for your greatness to show up.
Business is war. Everyday competitors try to take each others clients. The war becomes bloody unless someone has a clear strategic advantage.
In the past strategic advantages were created by being the first to advertise to the masses. Procter and Gamble proved with their brands how to create the beach head through the usage of mass media. And today the list is seemingly endless. Look at this picture for a sample size of P&G's products.
Fighting big companies like P&G head on would be insane. Yet through guerrilla warfare, you can carve out a beach head unknown to your competitor and take a few customers at a time.
Today carving out a beach head is easier than ever before. Mass media used to be the way to get your brand well known. It's only good today if you have the same amount of money that the big advertisers have. They established their beach head and built a fortified city around it. You ain't getting in.
So don't play that game.
Beach heads are found in virgin pastures. Look at your industry and research what no one else is willing to do. Then go do it.
If you own a daycare and no one is advertising on radio, you have your opportunity.
If you own a massage therapy clinic and no one is saying anything remarkable, be bold.
If you own a garbage removal business, and your competitors don't measure cleanliness of its employees, you know what you need to do. Then figure out how to measure it.
If you own a convenience store and no one is offering "old time, customer service values", then you get back to the basics.
If you own a restaurant and no one is using fresh, local products, then you use only fresh local products.
If you own a caulking company and no one has a cool name, you call your company "The Mother Caulkers".
If you own a yoga studio and no one is doing anything remarkable, you offer speed dating at the end of the yoga session because guys are checking out the girls anyways.
If you own a pet supply store you set up displays of dog food like they do in grocery stores.
If you own a coaching business, you offer free clinics to youth sport organizations for their volunteer coaches.
I can go on all day. Nothing is ever won by doing it the way your competitors are doing it. You have to create a beach head in an area where your enemies aren't expecting. Once you do that, the marketing takes care of itself.
Most small businesses have not figured out how to effectively market themselves online. They think a Facebook page, a twitter and linkedin account is what they need to do. The beach head cannot be found there because most competitors are already there.
Where's your beach head?
It's exactly where no one will expect you to be.
Go claim it. The world is waiting for your greatness to show up.
Friday, November 6, 2015
Some rules were meant to be bent
Without rules, we supposedly have anarchy. Rules are in place to protect someone or something or even ourselves.
We've always had rules as a society. It apparently keeps social order. Have you ever wondered about stupid rules? Stupid rules like driving and talking hands free at the same time. Research has proven that talking hands free is just as dangerous as talking with a hand on the phone. Yet one is a driving offence punishable by fine and the other is a socially accepted practice.
The emergence of vapour cigarettes has reared another stupid rule. No one is allowed to suck on their vape pipes within 25 feet of a building. Not liking the smell of cigarette smoke, I wonder why vapers are considered just as disgusting. I've been in the same room as people who use them and I don't smell anything. And I hate the smell of tobacco.
Doing some consulting work with professionals, I've discovered an all important crutch called "A code of ethics".
We all live by a code of ethics, whether they are written down or not. They are called values. Our core values are the things we will or will not do.
Unfortunately some organizations write them down as core beliefs only to be engraved on a plaque and hung on a wall so that everyone can ignore them when they walk in the front door each morning.
Professionals, like doctors, dentists, chiropractors, belong to a thing called an association. Within that association, there is a rigid code of ethics that must be followed. Usually that code defines what "professional" is so that other members of the association do not disintegrate the value of the professional title.
Talking to a potential client recently got my blood boiling. She informed me of all the stupid rules she had to adhere to in her marketing because of the code of ethics in her association. If she was kicked out of her association, she could potentially lose her license to legally practice her craft.
Not understanding that world, I needed to learn more about professional conduct in that somewhat exclusive environment. More importantly, I wanted if there were any examples of professionals giving the "middle finger" to their association's stupid rules.
There are all kinds of examples.
About eight years ago, a young orthodontist needed to grow his business. There were many competitors in town. The only ways he could increase business was to buy a retiring orthodontist's "book of business", work with dentists to get referrals and word of mouth marketing from existing customers. That's how all his competitors worked. Typically, a customer wouldn't show up at his office. They would get referred first.
He decided that radio advertising would a good place to start considering none of his competitors were going after customers that way. His association told him he was breaking their professional code of ethics. To which he politely told them to fuck off. They threatened to pull his membership to which he threatened legal action. All to not, the association backed down and the orthodontist started radio advertising.
Today he has the biggest practice in his town. Others are trying to copy him in his marketing strategies but he built such a beach head of customers that as long as he keeps breaking stupid rules, he will continue to be a huge success.
All his competitors had the same opportunity.
Another example about 12 years ago in a different town, a young dentist was trying to build his book of business. The code of ethics police required that no dentist could have an ad in the Yellow Pages greater than two lines. Each dentist was required to look, sound and act the same in their advertising. In the real world of marketing, the association wanted everyone to be a bunch of cows.
Here's what was interesting about this example. The association's board was made up of other dentists who had made their money, and were protecting their own interests. They took the hard road to building their business and they wanted the young dentists to do the same. More importantly by protecting their own interests, the value of their business wouldn't erode at its eventual sale date.
The young dentist challenged the code of ethics and put an ad substantially larger than his competitors. To which the association started to remove him from their group. Removal from the association would have meant he would lose his license and couldn't practice dentistry anymore.
He informed the board to back off or he would proceed with legal action. With a bit of back and forth, the association could not prove a violation of professional conduct and dropped their stupid shenanigans.
There are two examples of code of ethics not applying to marketing. Being part of professional association does not stop anyone from doing what is required to be a success. Hide behind the cloak and someone is going to take advantage of the opportunity. Throw the cloak aside and get ready for the onslaught of criticism as well as paying customers.
Nothing comes easy. Winning means have a successful business or job that gives you everything you want out of life.
If you play by the rules, you might win if you're smart enough, live long enough and have enough money to get your through tough times.
If you play to win, you have a better likelihood when you bend the rules.
Ask Tom Brady, quarterback of the New England Patriots.
We've always had rules as a society. It apparently keeps social order. Have you ever wondered about stupid rules? Stupid rules like driving and talking hands free at the same time. Research has proven that talking hands free is just as dangerous as talking with a hand on the phone. Yet one is a driving offence punishable by fine and the other is a socially accepted practice.
The emergence of vapour cigarettes has reared another stupid rule. No one is allowed to suck on their vape pipes within 25 feet of a building. Not liking the smell of cigarette smoke, I wonder why vapers are considered just as disgusting. I've been in the same room as people who use them and I don't smell anything. And I hate the smell of tobacco.
Doing some consulting work with professionals, I've discovered an all important crutch called "A code of ethics".
We all live by a code of ethics, whether they are written down or not. They are called values. Our core values are the things we will or will not do.
Unfortunately some organizations write them down as core beliefs only to be engraved on a plaque and hung on a wall so that everyone can ignore them when they walk in the front door each morning.
Professionals, like doctors, dentists, chiropractors, belong to a thing called an association. Within that association, there is a rigid code of ethics that must be followed. Usually that code defines what "professional" is so that other members of the association do not disintegrate the value of the professional title.
Talking to a potential client recently got my blood boiling. She informed me of all the stupid rules she had to adhere to in her marketing because of the code of ethics in her association. If she was kicked out of her association, she could potentially lose her license to legally practice her craft.
Not understanding that world, I needed to learn more about professional conduct in that somewhat exclusive environment. More importantly, I wanted if there were any examples of professionals giving the "middle finger" to their association's stupid rules.
There are all kinds of examples.
About eight years ago, a young orthodontist needed to grow his business. There were many competitors in town. The only ways he could increase business was to buy a retiring orthodontist's "book of business", work with dentists to get referrals and word of mouth marketing from existing customers. That's how all his competitors worked. Typically, a customer wouldn't show up at his office. They would get referred first.
He decided that radio advertising would a good place to start considering none of his competitors were going after customers that way. His association told him he was breaking their professional code of ethics. To which he politely told them to fuck off. They threatened to pull his membership to which he threatened legal action. All to not, the association backed down and the orthodontist started radio advertising.
Today he has the biggest practice in his town. Others are trying to copy him in his marketing strategies but he built such a beach head of customers that as long as he keeps breaking stupid rules, he will continue to be a huge success.
All his competitors had the same opportunity.
Another example about 12 years ago in a different town, a young dentist was trying to build his book of business. The code of ethics police required that no dentist could have an ad in the Yellow Pages greater than two lines. Each dentist was required to look, sound and act the same in their advertising. In the real world of marketing, the association wanted everyone to be a bunch of cows.
Here's what was interesting about this example. The association's board was made up of other dentists who had made their money, and were protecting their own interests. They took the hard road to building their business and they wanted the young dentists to do the same. More importantly by protecting their own interests, the value of their business wouldn't erode at its eventual sale date.
The young dentist challenged the code of ethics and put an ad substantially larger than his competitors. To which the association started to remove him from their group. Removal from the association would have meant he would lose his license and couldn't practice dentistry anymore.
He informed the board to back off or he would proceed with legal action. With a bit of back and forth, the association could not prove a violation of professional conduct and dropped their stupid shenanigans.
There are two examples of code of ethics not applying to marketing. Being part of professional association does not stop anyone from doing what is required to be a success. Hide behind the cloak and someone is going to take advantage of the opportunity. Throw the cloak aside and get ready for the onslaught of criticism as well as paying customers.
Nothing comes easy. Winning means have a successful business or job that gives you everything you want out of life.
If you play by the rules, you might win if you're smart enough, live long enough and have enough money to get your through tough times.
If you play to win, you have a better likelihood when you bend the rules.
Ask Tom Brady, quarterback of the New England Patriots.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
The language of love
"I'm in the mood for love, just because you're near me"...
The way we are loved is not the same way in which we love.
We can only do what we think we know. We use our experiences to guide us through the dark forest called life in order to get to the other side.
We raise our kids the way our parents raised us or as how we wished our parents would have raised us. In essence they come from good and bad experiences.
Luke 6:31 states, "Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you". We call this the Golden Rule.
But there's a flaw with this rule. If people loved us the same way we loved them, our love tanks would feel empty inside.
Typically, we do love our spouse the way we want to be loved.
Twice in the past two weeks someone mentioned a book called, "The five love languages", by Gary Chapman. The first time I heard about it, I nodded and listened to the other person but I had no intention of buying the book. Then within a week, someone else mentioned the book. Before he finished, he offered to give me his second copy.
I've never been opposed to reading "love" books. I've read John Gray's book about Venus and Mars.
This book is different. It has helped me understand not only the relationship with my wife but with everyone else around me.
The five languages of love are as follows:
1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Everybody has a dominant language. I wrote in previous blog how I was complimenting my wife every day. She loved the positive words of affirmation, but when we sat down and discussed it, I found out she felt they were empty words.
Going beyond my comfort zone, I didn't know what else to do. This book explained to me.
After a few experiments I discovered my wife's main love language is "Acts of Service". Doing the dishes, making breakfast, cleaning the house, or doing anything that helps her in her daily routine makes her feel loved. One morning, totally out of character, I folded the laundry.
Her eyes revealed feelings for me again.
After I was certain of her love language, I sat down with her and explained what I had done. Never having verbalized what makes her loved, she realized something profound about herself. And more importantly where it came from.
We also discovered together she was loving me in the way she wanted to be loved: "Acts of Service". She didn't know that having a hot meal waiting for me when I got home was nice, but it didn't fill my love tank.
For me, "Words of Affirmation" is my love language. She can do anything she wants to show her love for me, but as long as she doesn't use of "words of affirmation", I won't feel that extra special way.
Then we took the conversation one step further. What were our children's love languages? Our son was simple. He likes to spend time with us. It took a few minutes but we think our daughter's love language is the same as mine.
Now we armed with new information to solidify our marriage and our parent/child relationships. We can also use this information to enhance relationships with other people outside of our family circle.
The way we are loved is not the same way in which we love.
We can only do what we think we know. We use our experiences to guide us through the dark forest called life in order to get to the other side.
We raise our kids the way our parents raised us or as how we wished our parents would have raised us. In essence they come from good and bad experiences.
Luke 6:31 states, "Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you". We call this the Golden Rule.
But there's a flaw with this rule. If people loved us the same way we loved them, our love tanks would feel empty inside.
Typically, we do love our spouse the way we want to be loved.
Twice in the past two weeks someone mentioned a book called, "The five love languages", by Gary Chapman. The first time I heard about it, I nodded and listened to the other person but I had no intention of buying the book. Then within a week, someone else mentioned the book. Before he finished, he offered to give me his second copy.
I've never been opposed to reading "love" books. I've read John Gray's book about Venus and Mars.
This book is different. It has helped me understand not only the relationship with my wife but with everyone else around me.
The five languages of love are as follows:
1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Everybody has a dominant language. I wrote in previous blog how I was complimenting my wife every day. She loved the positive words of affirmation, but when we sat down and discussed it, I found out she felt they were empty words.
Going beyond my comfort zone, I didn't know what else to do. This book explained to me.
After a few experiments I discovered my wife's main love language is "Acts of Service". Doing the dishes, making breakfast, cleaning the house, or doing anything that helps her in her daily routine makes her feel loved. One morning, totally out of character, I folded the laundry.
Her eyes revealed feelings for me again.
After I was certain of her love language, I sat down with her and explained what I had done. Never having verbalized what makes her loved, she realized something profound about herself. And more importantly where it came from.
We also discovered together she was loving me in the way she wanted to be loved: "Acts of Service". She didn't know that having a hot meal waiting for me when I got home was nice, but it didn't fill my love tank.
For me, "Words of Affirmation" is my love language. She can do anything she wants to show her love for me, but as long as she doesn't use of "words of affirmation", I won't feel that extra special way.
Then we took the conversation one step further. What were our children's love languages? Our son was simple. He likes to spend time with us. It took a few minutes but we think our daughter's love language is the same as mine.
Now we armed with new information to solidify our marriage and our parent/child relationships. We can also use this information to enhance relationships with other people outside of our family circle.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Two rules to negotiating
Too often, we are faced with a negotiation. For some of us, they are difficult because negotiations are an art form. Just like someone knows calculus, negotiating is an area of study that some have mastered while others have not.
To negotiate with a master is a waste of time. The apprentice gets chopped in two offering more than they should. It's not their fault. They don't know the difference.
There are two valuable lesson to be learned in negotiating. I know these two rules because I've broken them so many times and have come out on the wrong end of a deal too many times to count.
Rule number 1: Never be too quick to make a deal.
Although I believe a deal can always be worked out, I'm positive and proactive when I want to move forward on a project. I jump too fast and always put my best foot forward.
This leaves me with no "wiggle room" and I end up settling for a deal that is less than ideal
The greatest lesson I ever learned in negotiating is the use of "No" as the starting position. This works like gold when someone is approaching you with an offer, a proposition or a product. If the approaching party is really interested in what you have, they will come back with a better offer. If not, they will go away not wasting any more of your time.
In most cases, I'm the approaching party so I see this strategy a lot.
Rule number 2: He who speaks first loses.
If you're trying to negotiate a deal, let the other party speak first.
Offer a leading question to continue to get more out of the opposition. Learn more about their style and worry less about the offer. The more you learn about their style, the quicker you are able to use it to your advantage.
I've never been accused of not liking the sound of my own voice, so rule two is also hard for me. It's awkward. It feels like I should say something when it gets quiet, but I don't. And the longer I wait, the more anxious the other party gets. The discomfort goes both ways. My discomfort is expected and calculated.
One time, I had a house for sale. The listed price was a bit high for the market but I got an interested party. He approached me with a low-ball offer about $50,000 less than the list price. I told him to go back and re-work his numbers. I wasn't interested in negotiating with him. He asked me to come down in price. To which I said, I will treat you as serious when you start acting it. I instructed him to go home and if he was still interested to give me his best price. No more negotiating...
It pissed him off. He walked out of our meeting but called me two days later with a very reasonable offer.
Whether you're selling a house, a car, a product or a business, never forget these two rules. They will save you time and money if used properly
To negotiate with a master is a waste of time. The apprentice gets chopped in two offering more than they should. It's not their fault. They don't know the difference.
There are two valuable lesson to be learned in negotiating. I know these two rules because I've broken them so many times and have come out on the wrong end of a deal too many times to count.
Rule number 1: Never be too quick to make a deal.
Although I believe a deal can always be worked out, I'm positive and proactive when I want to move forward on a project. I jump too fast and always put my best foot forward.
This leaves me with no "wiggle room" and I end up settling for a deal that is less than ideal
The greatest lesson I ever learned in negotiating is the use of "No" as the starting position. This works like gold when someone is approaching you with an offer, a proposition or a product. If the approaching party is really interested in what you have, they will come back with a better offer. If not, they will go away not wasting any more of your time.
In most cases, I'm the approaching party so I see this strategy a lot.
Rule number 2: He who speaks first loses.
If you're trying to negotiate a deal, let the other party speak first.
Offer a leading question to continue to get more out of the opposition. Learn more about their style and worry less about the offer. The more you learn about their style, the quicker you are able to use it to your advantage.
I've never been accused of not liking the sound of my own voice, so rule two is also hard for me. It's awkward. It feels like I should say something when it gets quiet, but I don't. And the longer I wait, the more anxious the other party gets. The discomfort goes both ways. My discomfort is expected and calculated.
One time, I had a house for sale. The listed price was a bit high for the market but I got an interested party. He approached me with a low-ball offer about $50,000 less than the list price. I told him to go back and re-work his numbers. I wasn't interested in negotiating with him. He asked me to come down in price. To which I said, I will treat you as serious when you start acting it. I instructed him to go home and if he was still interested to give me his best price. No more negotiating...
It pissed him off. He walked out of our meeting but called me two days later with a very reasonable offer.
Whether you're selling a house, a car, a product or a business, never forget these two rules. They will save you time and money if used properly
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