Let's go to my office

The Howard called it "The third place".
My friend Jamie calls it "His second home".
I call it "My office".

I spend a lot of time at Starbucks.
It's next to my business.
I don't have an office at the business.
So I go to Starbucks to change the scenery and to relax.

Today, I was there to pay bills.
I rarely see anyone I know.
I keep my head down and pound on my Mac so furiously that it intimidates them from saying "Hello".

Over the past nine months, I've seen a lot of turnover at this Starbucks. Lots of new faces, but the same consistent service.

What do I want for my office?
-A comfortable chair. If I can't have a comfortable chair, give me an uncomfortable chair and a table.
-Relaxing music. If I can't have the music, at least give me wifi so I can connect to my own music.
-Happy people serving me. If I can't have happy people, give me unhappy people who serve me fast.

I always get what I want at my office.

I don't go to Starbucks because of the affordable luxury. I go because it makes me feel better about myself.

Two years ago, I watched a Starbucks employee give a homeless man a free cup of coffee.
Today, another employee let me try their new frappacino flavour before its official release on Monday. It was the first time I met her yet she treated me like an insider. Like family.

I love their attitude at Starbucks.
It's a lot like mine. So it's easy for me to like them.

Starbucks is my office.
The people who work here are like my co-workers.

I love going to my office.
I don't always get a lot done.
yet, I do my best thinking there.

Thank you Starbucks.
For being you.
And for making me feel good.

Understanding corporate values and applying them consistently is the key to long term success. If you want to learn how to act like Starbucks in your customer service efforts, you can reach me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com. 

Wrestling characters and narrative arcs.

We can thank wrestling for the development of brands, storylines and loud mouth jerks.

The wrestling world was organized by independent companies throughout North America. Each company understood an unwritten contract that no one would infringe on another's territory.

Enter Vince McMahon. He inherited his dad's wrestling company and introduced a new kind of wrestling company. He didn't accept old agreements. He wanted to make his company gigantic and through purchases, acquisitions and bullying tactics, he became the number one wrestling company in the world.

The history books will say it started with Wrestlemania. I think it started with something else. Vince knew that every wrestler was a character. He saw characters enter and exit the different wrestling circuits. He witnessed regionalization and disintegration of character arcs because of the lack of exposure for the character

Wrestle mania was his Superbowl. Story development was the magic. Vince developed character arcs and narrative arcs to a national audience for the first time in wrestling history.

We saw Ravishing Rick Rude, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, The Million Dollar Man, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Ultimate Warrior, Honky Tonk Man, Hulk Hogan and many more. The announcers even had handles. There was Mean Gene Okerlund, The King Jerry Lawlor, Gorilla Monsoon.

Every wrestler had a handle.

In the early years, the stars wouldn't wrestle other stars on cable television. We watched Ravishing Rick Rude demolish Paul Carter. Macho Man would pulverize Jim Rains. It was never entertaining. It was never in doubt who would win. But we got to see our favourite characters perform their finishing moves on some poor sap trying out for the big leagues. We didn't watch it for the wrestling. It was the story.

The rivalry and intensity that would build from one pay per view to the next kept us coming back for more.

Vince was masterful in developing his stories and characters. We saw Hulk Hogan shock the world when he turned on Macho Man. We watched Shawn Michaels turn heal when he stopped shaving his chest. He showed up at Wrestlemania and turned on his buddy Marty Ginetti in a tag team match.

Shawn Michaels transformed from the likeable, clean shaven good boy to a foul mouthed, unshaven, boytoy in Heart Break Kid. Heart Break Kid became the nineties version of Gorgeous George.

All wrestlers, boxers and even UFC fighters need to thank the pioneer, Gorgeous George, for developing his character arc better than anyone before him.

Gorgeous was a flamboyant, over the top, braggart who sassed the crowd, never shut his mouth and his main talent was his beautiful blonde locks. The crowd loved to hate him. He would enter the ring with perfectly coiffed hair, long shiny robes with an air of indignation that would make the Queen sweat.

Rick Flair copied him.
As does Connor McGregor in the UFC
And so did the most greatest boxer of all time.

A 46 year old George told the young boxer: "A lot of people will pay to see someone shut your mouth. So keep on bragging, keep on sassing and always be outrageous." 

That boxer was the future Mohammad Ali. 



"I wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I'm so mean I make medicine sick."  -  Mohammad Ali

If you want to do effective ads with character arcs and narrative arcs, you can contact me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com. 

Does your Culture attract vultures?

A poisonous organizational culture results from a disconnect between how the employees behave and what the customer is told. If the company story and the organizational culture do not align, there will be a cancer inside the company.

Tell me what you believe in and I'll tell you how to market to your customers.

I'm reminded of this because of the incident on a United Airlines plane recently.

A front line employee normally has the authority to fix problems resulting from bad situations. If an employee uses force or threatens to use force on an innocent non aggressive customer, the poisonous culture shows its disgusting head like a vulture waiting to prey on a dead animal.

Did the customer act appropriately?
Did the airline act appropriately?

A business cannot care about customers. It does not have feelings.
Only people can demonstrate caring.
The example of Dr. David Dao shows that United employees do not care about their customers.

It could have been handled so much better.
The employees did not have the values needed to accommodate a reasonable solution.

A rational person with enough authority could have gone onto the plane and explained the situation to all customers. They could have offered the maximum amount under federal aviation laws and tried to appeal to a person's sense of community.

They only needed one more volunteer.

Instead they chose force.

I would bet that the employee who made the decision to call the aviation cops is a bit of a jerk with other employees.
I bet they don't like their job.
I bet there are lots of co workers who don't like this person either.

A customer is the most important asset a business has.
Without them, a business cannot exist.
It surprises me each time I witness poor choices in customer service.
It shouldn't.
I've been watching vultures circle around businesses for years.
For some reason, they think the customers will keep coming back.

You wouldn't go into a business knowingly and willingly when this type of incident happens.
Neither would I.
As long as there is a choice.

It's in the lack of choice that causes us to gamble on the asshole business, hoping it won't happen to us.
The vultures are circling.
Businesses die when they don't pay attention to their internal culture.

Take care of employees. Employees take care of customers.
It really is that simple...

On United Airlines website, this is what they have to say about themselves:

United is focused on being the airline customers want to fly, the airline employees want to work for and the airline shareholders want to invest in...

...our iconic "Fly the Friendly Skies" tagline has been reinvented to reflect what's most important to our customers, as well as all that the word "friendly" encompasses in today’s technology-driven world. 

If the employees REALLY believed any of this crap, could they have acted the way they did.

As proven many times, words committed to paper for mission and values isn't what really happens when stress is introduced.

This would never happen on Southwest Airlines.
The culture wouldn't allow for it.
The employees would block the door and sing a song about why they need an extra volunteer.
They would offer free kisses, and hugs and lollipops.

Don't forget an important point. United breaks guitars and wouldn't accept responsibility a few years ago...
Same company...
Same values...
Different incident.

Clearly nothing has REALLY changed.

To develop corporate values, you need to start with the leaderships values. Don't look at what you want them to be. Start with what they are. Then look for people who have the same values. That's what all the great companies do. Then communicate those values in your advertising. You'll attract the customer who has the same values. To learn more about this process, contact me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com.

Tired of waiting

Doing a marketing seminar in Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada, we were discussing the effectiveness and importance of "break through" marketing initiatives.

I was using multiple examples to lighten the mood, when one participant spoke up and said, "It's kind of like the Spicer Jewellers ad.

Tell me about the Spicer Jeweller ad, I said.

So the lady went into great detail about the billboard and how it had created polarizing conversations throughout the community.

The premise was simple. A lady raising her ring finger and looking a little ticked off, with the headline, "She's tired of waiting".

Within the room, a polarizing discussion took place. One side of the room thought the ad was brilliant and could get them to buy the ring if they were in market. The opposite side of the room felt the ad was degrading to women.

One woman passionately explained why she found the ad offensive. In summary she is an independent woman and doesn't need a jeweller or a MAN to give her a ring.

She told the group she had shared the disruptive ad in one of her Facebook groups. And many of her friends were commenting about the same uselessness of the ad.

"Excuse me", interrupting her rant. "Can you tell me how friends you have in this group of yours".

There are over 700 of us. And we all feel the same way. That ad is offensive and we will NEVER buy from this company.

"Did it ever occur to you that you were probably not going to buy from them anyways", I replied.
"Did it also occur to you that in your rants, you have helped spread the word for this business?", "And in doing so, you may have helped them sell MORE diamond rings?"

None of my friends will buy from this company, EVER.

"Ok. But what about the ad makes you think the ad was directed at YOU?"

Drop the imaginary microphone. She didn't know what to say. She was visibly upset. I had demonstrated that although girls who get married want diamond rings, she may never get one, or want one. Plus it wouldn't be up to her where the ring is purchased anyways. It will be up to her partner...

After the presentation, I contacted Spicer's Jewellers. They admitted that they had received mixed reviews and were worried about the negative publicity revolving around the billboards.  It was so early in the campaign they were unable to figure out if the ad had increased sales.

I suspect this ad will need at least 6 months to pull in the core customer.

The idea came from the owner, not an employee.
It is for this reason, it won't be pulled down in 4 weeks.
The owner has already bought into it.

He had tested in another market and saw huge increases in sales for diamond engagement rings.

The ad guy would have pulled it down by now if it weren't for the owner's commitment.
It takes guts to do this stuff.
For that I applaud Spicer's Jewellers.

It is nice to see people willing to take a risk with their marketing in order to make a compelling, remarkable and sharable message.

You can contact me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com if you want ways to make your marketing initiatives memorable and effective.

I'm afraid to tell you...

Those who can act with a natural disregard for emotion are my heroes.

Giving advice to others is easy. Taking that advice is hard. Fear gets in the way. Without ownership in the results of decisions, the advisor can give logical, rational reasons to do something.

The hardest decisions require rational thinking, yet emotions creep into the thinking process. These emotions take an equity position in our decisions. We make decisions based on emotion rather than rational reasons.

Roy Williams of Wizard of Ads has seven laws of advertising.

One of them is:
"Intellect and Emotion are partners who do not speak the same language. The intellect finds logic to justify what the emotions have decided. Win the hearts of the people, their minds will follow."

This blog isn't about advertising. It's about that emotions that wander into the decision making process.

I'm no better than the next person. Fear enters my consciousness regularly.

Some say I'm fearless.
Aline will tell you that's not even close to the truth.

Some say I have an infectious confidence that everything always works out.
Although I am extremely confident to my own detriment, I also know things don't always work out as planned.

Fear works on me everyday.
Some days it wraps its slimy fingers around my throat and slips me into submission.

Those are tough days.

Other days, when I win the round with my emotions. I kick it in the groin and work through the problem.

Those days, I use my secret weapon.
The weapon has nothing to do with me and more to do with the process I use.

Tell a person to calm down when they are mad and you know what happens. They get madder or resentful.
Tell a person to not feel sad, and they start to cry.
Emotions are not logical.

When I'm emotional about an important decision that needs to be made, I use a lifeline like in the TV show "Who wants to be a millionaire".
I call the most rational, logical person I know.
I talk it out loud.
I hear myself speak the irrational thoughts as they leave my tongue.
It is those moments that wake me up from my emotional induced dream.

In my friend's logical Spock like voice, he lures me away from the cliff. He rationalizes the problem. Being unaffected by my decisions, he can look at my problem logically. He helps me see the world a little clearer.

The best way to eliminate fear is not to avoid it. It's to face it head on. It's to act despite it. And most importantly to talk to a logical left brained person who can separate the emotion from the decision.

Zig when others zag

It's my most consistent piece of advice when someone who asks, "What should I do"?

My answer: Zig when others zag.

It is important to be perceived to be different. But it's also where the greatest opportunities lie.

Conventional thought is not new, exciting or different.

Conventional thought is thought to be safe. Others have gone and beat down the path to the prize. Its beaten path removes the beauty of the journey. It waters down the fertilizer for more fruit and the tree of plenty has produced just enough for those who have already passed.

Conventional thought changes as we become more intelligent with information. 

There was a time when the world was thought to be flat.

The sun revolved around the earth.

Fire was created by an element called flogiston.

California was an island.

Conventional thought is not new, exciting or different.

To penetrate that magic place in the brain that allows for new messages to enter, you must have a product that is considered new, exciting or different.

Working like everyone else will get you possibly to a safe place. Not necessarily fun. What if what you think is afe is actually dangerous? What if there is no prize on your safe journey? What if all the berries are picked? Follow convention and you may go hungry.

Are there business practices that belong to conventional thought?

Absolutely. Paying bills, treating people right, not cheating the government is all good conventional practices.

It is dangerous to be new, different and exciting. Your business may not survive. It is actually dangerous either way.

When it comes to product, price, promotion, place or the 4 P's of marketing, there should be less convention and more thought. Marketing is a creative discipline. It it thrives on delivering Messages that penetrate the target audience's brain.

I believe there's enough time spent on thinking originally. Too much time is spent on following in someone else's footsteps.

Rick Nicholson is a partner in Wizard of Ads, the Mack daddy of unconventional thinkers. If you want to contact him, you can reach him at Ricknicholson@wizardofads.com.

Conversations with a conditional offer

Story 1:

I was getting a coffee when this coupon winked at me. 

Hey, do I know you?, I asked.
No, but I like you. Would you like to get $50 worth of free coffee?

Sure! It's free right?
Yes, sweetheart. All you have to do is rip me off the pad, take it to the local bank, sign up for a credit card. If you're accepted, we'll make sure you get the $50 gift card for free coffee.

How is that free? Isn't my time worth anything? And what about my credit? I don't need another credit card. Are you telling me that my creditworthiness and my time is the toll I have to pay to get some free coffee?

Yes, darling We like you. But we need you to do something for us. When you sign up for that card, we'll have access to your personal information like address, phone number and birthday. We can send you unsolicited mail, email and promotions if you forget to check the box that opts you out of our annoying marketing. But you'll want this stuff. Trust me... 

I don't think so. You already lied to me once.  All I wanted was a coffee. You caught my eye with your wink. But now I hate you. Leave me alone and don't call me. Oh yeah, you don't have my phone number so you won't be able to anyways. 

****************************************************************
Story 2:

I was surfing Facebook when another ad caught the glimmer of my eye.

"Buy my travel services and you'll get a deep discount to celebrate our nation's 150th birthday", said the pimp.
I don't need your services. But it looks like fun. The price is right. Maybe I can take my whole family with me at that price.

Sure, why not?
You're right. Why not? I'm making plans already in my mind. This is going to be so much fun. We just have to figure out the details.

You're the man. Your family is going to love this trip. Your family is going to love you.
What's this in the fine print?

Oh, don't worry about that, you're under 25 years old, right?
Umm, No.

Are your kids at least 12 years old?
Umm, No.

A man with your beauty must surely have a bride under 25 years old.
Umm, No.

Well we only have a few limited seats for this offer. You don't qualify so leave me alone.
Wasn't it you that was looking for my business?

I said leave me alone. You're not the person we're looking for.
Is my money any less valuable than a 25 year olds?

Well, no. But you can afford to pay full price. We still want you to book with us. Just pay full fare.
But you told me the fare is only worth $150. I'm an idiot if I pay more. I liked the original offer, but I hate your exclusion condition. Here's a condition for you: I won't use your services unless someone forces me to or if I don't have any other choice.  I wish you a long and painful death.

************************************************************


I hate offers that have conditions.

Conditional marketing is a slimy way to catch the audience off guard. It tricks the audience to believe one thing to be true, when there is an alternative motive.

Alternative motives are sneaky cream pies filled with hidden agendas, lies and exaggerations. Transactions filled with these ingredients don't allow for healthy customer conversions.

If a company wants to sell extra product by putting it on sale, they should put it on sale. They do not need to be shady in their message

These tactics are supposed to be reserved for the weasel sucking used car dealers who are looking to take advantage of innocent customers.

There's no place in business for those behaviours, used car dealers included.

If you're looking to increase your marketing efforts and you're not a weasel trying to trick customers, you can contact me at ricknicholson@wizardofads.com. I can help in the marketing process to be honest, real and most importantly believable.