Everything repeats

My high school history teacher used to scream, "Those who fail to know their history are doomed to repeat it". We had to analyze the similarities between Napoleon and Hitler. And that if Hitler had learned anything from Napoleon, he wouldn't have invaded Russia.

History repeats itself all the time. Madonna becomes Britney Spears, Michael Jordan becomes Lebron James. Michael Jackson becomes Justin Timberlake. Recently I read that  the percentages are extremely high for a teenage mother to be a grandmother in her thirties and maybe even a great grandmother by her early fifties. That's three generations of teenage pregnancies.

In Disney's movie, "The Lion King", there's a discussion between Mustafa, the dad, and Simba, the lion cub. Mustafa explains there's a circle of life that exists. I've used that term to explain how we are doomed to make the same mistakes as our parents unless we realize what mistakes they have made. And how to avoid them.

Although we can look at our individual actions compared to our parents, when looking at an entire generation, we do learn from our parents' generation as a whole. There is substantial studies that demonstrate society learns from one generation while making the same mistakes/advancements as another. Generationally we do the same as our great-great grandparents. The theory says that each generational cycle is approximately 20 years. For us to repeat, four generations have to pass. So every 80 years, is when we start doing the same things as our ancestors.

Approximately every 80 years, there is a major conflict for the United States. What happens in the US has and will always affect Canadians.

1939-1945 World War II
1861-1865 American Civil War
1775-1783 American Revolution

Imagine the start of a decade: A new technology was invented. There were only a few people who knew how to use it. The money supply doubled in just 8 years. Spending was high, worries were low. Confidence in Wall Street was also high. By the end of the decade, everyone took the new technology for granted. And the western world went into a recession. The year was 1929. The new technology was radio. This is eerily similar to the 2000's, with the internet gaining momentum. By the end of the decade, the collapse of the economy due to mortgage back securities mirrors 1929. Just 80 years after it happened the first time, it happened again.

In 1919, Major League Baseball was rocked by "The Black Sox" scandal in which the Chicago team threw the World Series in order to get paid by their mafia buddies. Almost 80 years later cheating again was identified as the problem but this time in the form of  performance enhancing drugs.

1840ish - invention of the telephone
1920ish - invention of radio
1995ish- invention of internet

I can go on, but you get my point.

No need to go to a psychic to know the future. Start studying your past.

We survive because we know how to work together

Why are humans the dominant species on Earth? I've heard it's our ability to communicate. It's our thumbs. It's our ability to think in complexity. I'm sure I'm missing a few.

It's not our mere strength. Lions, tigers, bears, and alligators are all stronger than us. Yet we rule the world. 

We rule the world because we knew how to work effectively as a community. Humans would not dominate without the help of the rest of tribe.

How many times have I met people who failed to ask for help when they needed it. They chose to solve their problems on their own, only to fail miserably in the end. When you're drowning, ask for a life preserver. It's not time to learn how to swim!

All success is created by the hard work of an entire team. No one wins the game without the help of others. We need to learn when to ask for help.  

As history suggests, we can solve all of the world's dangers when we work together. When there is a disconnect in the tribe, danger will always trump.

When the main philosophy is "Everyone for themselves", we all lose.

If we continue to not work together, forget aliens from outer space. The tigers will become the next dominant species on Earth. 

Bragging isn't always bad

Bragging is a bad word, right? If you hear someone say, "That guy kept on bragging...", you would think the person was full of himself. Wouldn't you.

My parents are not the bragging type and they taught me the same way. I have to catch myself from being a blowhort from time to time. I get so excited of what I'm working on that I forget that others may interpret it as me bragging about myself.

This morning, I read a blog from Tim Miles that threw my idea of bragging on its head. Bragging is a good exercise when used in the right context.

When I think of bragging, I think of someone boasting about his/her accomplishments. However, a braggart can be someone who pumps someone else up. A braggart can be a boss, a co-worker, a friend or a parent. The ability to praise someone, to tell a third party how great a person is or to show them off in public isn't to fulfill the braggart's ego needs. It's to show appreciation and accomplishment of someone other than self.

In this scenario, we need to be better braggarts. We need to remember to recognize others accomplishments and to celebrate them even in the smallest of ways.

As I raise my children, I see their little egos inflated each time I tell others how proud I am of them. I remember the small celebrations when we were potty training. The little potty dances, the high fives, and the treats are forever engrained in my brain.

We're not a complicated species. Recognition makes everyone feel better. When someone pumps my tires, I've noticed recently that it always makes me feel better. And I thought recognition didn't motivate me. It makes me feel better by giving me a hit of dopamine every time.

And there we have it. Because of the dopamine effect, we get addicted to recognition, just like smoking, drinking, gambling, etc.

If you're looking for people to perform outstanding results or if you want people to like you, all you have to do is brag them up every chance you get. We like people who makes us feel good about ourselves.

Brag away. Make sure it's always about others and not yourself. We don't like people who pump their own tires...

Honestly, I'm telling the truth

Thou shall not tell a lie. One of the sacred 10 rules that Moses brought to us.

So Moses, people lie. My wife started lying to me the second year we were together . I met her when she was 29 years old. She never aged for 10 years. Shallow, little white lies that don't hurt anyone.

There are two categories of lies: ones that hurt and those that don't. So lying is ok? My parents never taught me about the lies that were ok...

Early in my marriage, my wife asked me if she was getting fat. How do you answer that question without getting in trouble? She knows if she's packed on a few. She should have asked if I could tell she was gaining weight.

Relationship Lesson #1: Be honest.
Lesson #2: Never tell you're wife she's getting fat.

I failed that day in seeing the real question. I learned from my failure and refuse to ever get into that conversation again. I hurt her with my honesty. It is better to lie in order to keep people from getting hurt?

I tell my kids the truth will hurt. The lie will hurt more. You better hope if you're lying I don't find out.

There are people every day who tell me about their honesty. It's like they have to wear blinking lights to promote their good intentions. I wonder if these people are overcompensating for the lies they have told.

I read once that people who promote their honesty too often are the opposite. Honest people act, well honestly. They don't need to tell others they are honest because that's a given.

Recently, I started studying the art of reading a lie. Just like poker players, when being dishonest, people have different "tells". If I learn to read the tell, I'll keep these pretty little liars away from me.

If telling the truth hurts more than the lie, I'm going to call that exception to the rule.  

Here's to you 'ole friend...

What is a friend? There are all kinds of the positive words of wisdom that describe a friend on the Internet. Facebook is famous for labelling everyone you know as friends.

People call themselves friends, when in fact, they are merely acquaintances. If a person has more than a couple of true friends in the world, they are very lucky. Sometimes a spouse is the true friend. Sometimes a family member is the best friend. Sometimes a dad, sometimes a mom. We find our friend who best mirrors us. They do as we do. They think as we think.

As children, our best friends are the kids that are interested in the same activities as we are. So whether it's sports, chess, video games, partying, painting or any other like minded activity, we find these special people there. Honesty, care, respect, trust are all qualities we bestow on these "friends", whether they deserve it or not. It is with this power, we find if these people are in fact our true buddies.

Friends have come and gone in my lifetime. Distance, changing in interests, self destructing behaviours, and girls have all torn chums away from me. Were they really friends? Probably not. We had a lot of good times together though. When I'm feeling nostalgic, it's these times that I wish I could relive with them again.

Once I had a good buddy whom I would've done anything for. I could sense something changing in his attitude. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I could feel it. His sarcasm was one of the qualities I liked about him, but then his sarcastic responses started to penetrate like daggers piercing my skin. One day, I asked him to go out for a beer. He said he was busy. That was 7 years ago. I haven't seen him since. At first, I was really busy with work. I was able to move my focus away from personal issues into my company. To this day, I don't know what I did to him.

Now that I sold my business, I look back and wonder what the hell happened. Does ego stop me from calling him today? Probably a bit. The fact that something was wrong before the friendship ended is evident. I don't think I'd want to be his friend today, so why would I call him. We drifted apart just like many of the other friends I've had since childhood. Different interests coupled with lack of time and add in a bit of distance. Is that one of the recipes for failed friendship?

Don't think so... I have a friend in Halifax. I haven't seen him nor talked to him in 8 years. He was the best man at my wedding. We grew up together, played basketball together and shared an apartment at university. I love him like a brother.  If he needs me for anything, I will be at his house tomorrow morning, no questions asked.

I wonder if I have anyone who feels the same way about me...

Will it work?

Anyone who doesn't sign their own paycheck doesn't understand the challenges faced with being in business for oneself. It takes guts. Real courage to weather the storm when things go wrong. Never forget, there are always things that go wrong. Many entrepreneurs confess that having a job is easier than owning a business. Yet they choose to do the more challenging of the two.

Not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur. People who work for others only see the greener grass. They see the money, the nicer house or the fancy vacation. They may not see the 24-7 aspect of living. Entrepreneurship is not a career choice. It's a way of life.

I'm approached by friends, family and sometimes complete strangers constantly about the viability of a business idea.  Here's the different types of answers I've given over the years.

Q: Will this idea work?

A1: It will only work as hard as you do. Are you prepared to work harder than you've ever done in your life?

A2: Have you written a business plan and/or done some research?

A3: An idea is only as good as the paper it's written on. It's the execution that will determine if you're to have success.

A4: I have at least 5 good ideas every day. Most of them don't work because I'm not committed to carry them through. Are you?

A5: What are your goals and vision for the company?

A6: Do you have access to enough capital (money) to execute the idea?

A7: If you would have asked me about a Tim Horton's franchise in the 1960's, I would have said you were crazy. That's how much I know about business. I'm probably the wrong guy to ask.

A8: What are you prepared to sacrifice for this idea?

There are no guarantees to success in business. One person can fail miserably, while the other makes her riches in the same enterprise. Timing, hard work, commitment, capital, vision, execution and sacrifice all play a role in the success of the business. The idea itself is only a small component to success.

The next time you have an idea about a business, read these 8 answers. Once you've taken the gut check and still feel confident, go ask an entrepreneur what they think of your idea.

Will you work? If not, I guarantee neither will your idea...

Can you do me a favour?

I got a parking ticket in December. It was a snowy, blustery day. I tried getting into one of the parking lots, but they were all full. I ended up parking at a meter. The damn thing expired before I got back and it felt like someone was watching for it to expire so they could get $30.00 out of me, instead of a few quarters. 

I hate taxation. Especially when it's stupid taxation. Government at all levels squander most of the money we give them. I accept some taxation like income, property, and sales. I can convince myself that only people with money have to pay these bills. It helps a broken system feel like its still working. It's the small useless taxation that serves nothing except annoyance that pisses me off. 

Then last week, as I'm trying to help stimulate the economy in getting more jobs, more revenues, more taxes for the province and the city, I come back to my car 10 minutes late to bright white bastard of a ticket. I was parked in the 12 hour spots, where $1 gets you an hour of parking. 

I can't explain how much I hate seeing my tax dollars wasted on some guy running around handing out tickets.

Yesterday, my wife asked to run into a bookstore downtown. There is always ample parking in front of the building, with meters. I was going in for 2 minutes, getting the book and leaving. Without a quarter in my pocket, I second guessed my next move. Do I risk gambling $1 for potential loss of $30? It seems like a really dumb thought process now, but I want to make up value for the $30 that I now owe them for last week.

I chose the riskier option. In my hurriedness, a homeless man stopped me. He asked, "Can you do me a favour"? Not having time to spare for wasteless conversation, I abruptly responded, "Sorry I don't have any money"? A total lie. I had $5 in my pocket. I didn't want to spend it on parking. I didn't want a ticket. 

I assumed he wanted money. Maybe he wanted a coffee. I didn't give him any respect as a person. As I'm speed walking to the bookstore, he asks rhetorically, "Why is everyone so rude in Moncton"? 

The city of honesty, the city of goodness, my city...in this guy's eyes is rude. Actually he's saying I'm rude. I got the book, rushed back to the car to stop any meter maid who may be trying to stealthfully poke me again. No one there, but the homeless guy, sitting on the freezing ground watching all of the hurried people go from point A to point B.

The city didn't get my money today. I was happier to help out someone sitting on the ground. Feeling partly guilty, I placed a twoonie in his hand and said, "You need this more than I do brother. Have a great day". 

 

As I left, I thought about the two conversations I had with this stranger. I could have bought him a coffee but that would have been presumptuous of me. Maybe the guy doesn't like coffee. I could have asked him to watch the meter for me and to distract any potential tax officers. I could have given him the money the first time I walked by him. In either case, I feel good about my decision. My kids would've blown the two bucks on a useless toy with their next visit to the Dollar store. Either way the money wasn't going to be mine.

Whatever way I look at it, homelessness has to suck for those living on the streets. They all have demons that have brought them there. They need help to get out of that rut. I've heard that we shouldn't enable homeless people with money. If the money bought this guy a cheap bottle of wine or a hit of crack, I don't care. If he can get through another day, I hope I did my part. 

Homelessness is a problem. As I sit in my warm house, with food in the fridge, gas in my cars and money in the bank, I can't help but think about those who have absolutely nothing.

Next time you're confronted by a homeless person, take a quarter and help them out. You'll be surprised how good you'll feel about yourself afterward.