In public, everyone looks so serious. Their faces look like they just sucked on a pickle. As an introvert, I can look serious when my heart is clapping with joy. I love people but they tire me easily. I need an escape hatch when I'm around a lot of people to keep me energized.
When I was 20, someone told me it was important to always look at people in the eyes. I have studied eye behaviour without much luck. I watch the shifties as people look around when I'm talking to them. Do they look around because they are searching for an answer or are they looking for a lie? Body language plays a role in these observations but I gotta figure out the eyes before I go to the rest of the body. Have you ever observed the person who can't maintain eye contact and wondered if you're freaking them out or if they have something to hide? There's the shy person who is so timid that they only thing he hides is his personality. He can be mistaken for a shady character who has something else to hide.
It's been tough for me to read a person through the eyes until yesterday.
Yesterday, I listened to the soothe sounds of John Denver while was I grocery shopping. Not only did music give me a rhythm, it gave me the mental"exit stage left" I was looking for. The rhythm gave me peace. In that solitude, I noticed people while I tapped "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" on my shopping cart. Most importantly I woke up to facial expressions. The music was my invisibility cloak. I was alone in my musically entrenched world. Under the cloak, I noticed everyone had a rhythm. The eyes were the dead give-away.
The racy eyes were in a hurry. The tired eyes wanted to go home. The hot eyes were mad at someone or something.
Eyes are supposed to be windows to the soul. I've tried to read people through their eyes before but it's never worked. Like a voodoo magic trick I expected the eyes to tell me everything I wanted to know. My mouth got in the way. As the mouth acted like the school bully, desiring attention, my ears were the mother hen accepting all sounds as fact and nurturing every word as a child needing attention.
My ears and mouth get in the way of my eyes. My ego pushes some of this. I try to keep him in the box, but he jumps out when we call his name.
With music in my ears, not listening to anyone and not thinking about what is being said, my eyes demonstrated an inexplicable beacon that I was never able to find.
My eyes will not deceive what my mouth has translated and which my ears have accepted as fact.
Eyes are absolutely windows to the soul. I finally experienced it for the first time.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Growing old
Do we stop playing because we grow old or do we grow old because we stop playing?
My grandfather was 92 when he died. He played games up until his death. He loved to laugh and thoroughly enjoyed a good teasing.
One Christmas, I vividly remember my elderly grampy lifting my wife on a set of bathroom scales to find out her weight. He was at least 85 at the time. She kicked and screamed as he hoisted her on the liar's pad.
His body failed him in his nineties. His joie de vivre did not.
I think we grow old because we forget how to play. Play like a school child. Play like no one's watching. Even if they are, who cares? Having fun is not a bad thing.
I'm my true self when I laugh out loud while slapping my leg. Yet I protect that laughter in fear of someone discovering the playful, youthful, lightening eyed me.
If you ask a child what they want most out of life you'll hear they want to grow up. If you ask most adults what they want most out of life, you'll hear the opposite answer. Adults want to stay young. Not the peer pressure, no experience in anything young. Adults are looking for experiences in which they can feel young.
Feeling comes from doing. What are you doing to stay young.
The older I get, the less I care about what others think about me. Dancing in the middle of the grocery isle, embarrassing my kids is so much fun. Not just because of the look I get from them. It's also from the adrenaline rush of doing something I would never have done as a young man. It's like streaking in public without removing the clothes. That's a story for a different time.
Keep playing and youth will follow you around like a hungry cat.
My grandfather was 92 when he died. He played games up until his death. He loved to laugh and thoroughly enjoyed a good teasing.
One Christmas, I vividly remember my elderly grampy lifting my wife on a set of bathroom scales to find out her weight. He was at least 85 at the time. She kicked and screamed as he hoisted her on the liar's pad.
His body failed him in his nineties. His joie de vivre did not.
I think we grow old because we forget how to play. Play like a school child. Play like no one's watching. Even if they are, who cares? Having fun is not a bad thing.
I'm my true self when I laugh out loud while slapping my leg. Yet I protect that laughter in fear of someone discovering the playful, youthful, lightening eyed me.
If you ask a child what they want most out of life you'll hear they want to grow up. If you ask most adults what they want most out of life, you'll hear the opposite answer. Adults want to stay young. Not the peer pressure, no experience in anything young. Adults are looking for experiences in which they can feel young.
Feeling comes from doing. What are you doing to stay young.
The older I get, the less I care about what others think about me. Dancing in the middle of the grocery isle, embarrassing my kids is so much fun. Not just because of the look I get from them. It's also from the adrenaline rush of doing something I would never have done as a young man. It's like streaking in public without removing the clothes. That's a story for a different time.
Keep playing and youth will follow you around like a hungry cat.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Joy is not just a woman's name
I believe we are born to experience joy.
Joy is not found with money.
Joy is found in serving others.
Do you want joy? Help someone today.
I try to lead a healthy, helpful life. I stop to push cars out of snowbanks. I listen to others and their woes in business. I am giving of my time and my knowledge. But stuff can get in the way. I get busy and don't notice the small things. I don't always see that person who could use a simple hand. My body is here. My mind is thinking about the next thing that has to be done. I get busy with work and forget to look life in the eye.
We let joy slop around the busyness barrel, hoping to find it in some elusive cranny.
Have you ever noticed it is more fun giving a gift than it is to receive one. Joy is inside all of us exploding at the seams waiting for us to help someone out.
One of my goals for this year is to be a better person. Part of that goal is to perform 4 random acts of kindness per month. That's one per week. It can be as easy as buying the next person in line at the coffeehouse a warm beverage.
I'm sure I'll learn a lot about this random acts of kindness thing. Wish me luck. No, wait. Luck has nothing to do with it. Wish me success.
My joy depends on it.
Joy is not found with money.
Joy is found in serving others.
Do you want joy? Help someone today.
I try to lead a healthy, helpful life. I stop to push cars out of snowbanks. I listen to others and their woes in business. I am giving of my time and my knowledge. But stuff can get in the way. I get busy and don't notice the small things. I don't always see that person who could use a simple hand. My body is here. My mind is thinking about the next thing that has to be done. I get busy with work and forget to look life in the eye.
We let joy slop around the busyness barrel, hoping to find it in some elusive cranny.
Have you ever noticed it is more fun giving a gift than it is to receive one. Joy is inside all of us exploding at the seams waiting for us to help someone out.
One of my goals for this year is to be a better person. Part of that goal is to perform 4 random acts of kindness per month. That's one per week. It can be as easy as buying the next person in line at the coffeehouse a warm beverage.
I'm sure I'll learn a lot about this random acts of kindness thing. Wish me luck. No, wait. Luck has nothing to do with it. Wish me success.
My joy depends on it.
What's the definition of good scotch
I hate to admit this but I know as much about scotch as I know about women.
My friend Daniel can speak at lengths about the six regions of Scotland and the distinct taste each of the regions produce. Watching him talk about scotch is theatre. Entertaining, informative, and drunk with delight, he shares his love not from the upper deck where only nose-waving snobs exist. The one thing I remember about Daniel's instruction is his definition of a good scotch.
As he starts his soliloquy, he asks, "What's the definition of a good scotch?".
Answer: One that you will enjoy.
In looking for other answers to elusive questions, I found the same answer to a lot of life's pressing questions..
What's the definition of a good exercise routine, good diet, good life, good family, good house, good job, good business, good vacation?
Enjoy!
My friend Daniel can speak at lengths about the six regions of Scotland and the distinct taste each of the regions produce. Watching him talk about scotch is theatre. Entertaining, informative, and drunk with delight, he shares his love not from the upper deck where only nose-waving snobs exist. The one thing I remember about Daniel's instruction is his definition of a good scotch.
As he starts his soliloquy, he asks, "What's the definition of a good scotch?".
Answer: One that you will enjoy.
In looking for other answers to elusive questions, I found the same answer to a lot of life's pressing questions..
What's the definition of a good exercise routine, good diet, good life, good family, good house, good job, good business, good vacation?
Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Goals for 2015
It's a new year and I just finished my goals for the upcoming 365
days.
Don't misinterpret me. These are not resolutions. I gave up
resolutions a long time ago. These are things I want to achieve for the year.
There are only five of them.
The Fab Five is what they will be called.
Two of them are personal goals in trying to be a better person.
The others are business related as I aim to achieve my business objectives.
I spent a week thinking about the Fab Five. I don't want to waste
another year. I want to achieve something remarkable.
It started with a review of what I want out of my life. A real
question that isn't easy to answer. It starts with knowing what one wants.
Knowing, not thinking...
I went wrong last year by allowing my goals to be dependent on
someone else's decision. It became unrealistic in the short term because
everything I wanted to do last year depended on someone agreeing to sell me
their business. Which they didn't do. They will want to sell me their business
someday but I can't control that right now.
So this year, with the dream still lingering like a musty pair of
unwashed underwear, I set annual goals that were achievable and were not
dependant someone else's decision.
So here are my goals for the year:
1. Weigh 170 lbs
2. Be a better dad/husband/person
3. Make $150,000 this year
4. Start a coaching company
5. Buy two businesses with two operating partners. Both have to be
found.
Each goal has a minimum of five actionable items or smaller goals
that will result in the annual goal being achieved.
For an example, I've identified five things I need to do to be a
better dad/husband/person.
- Do dishes for my family five times per week
- Clean two bathrooms for my wife each week
- Mop kitchen floors each week
- Perform 4 random acts of kindness/month
- Find a church to expose my kids to the word of God and go at
least twice/month.
So there you have it.
It's a new year. A clean slate... What are you going to do
different this year?
Resolutions are for the fragile, good intended dreamers seeking
change but not willing to do the work.
Goals are for the strong minded, fierce competitors fighting the
distractions of life to make it better for themselves, their families, and
their communities.
Are you a fighter or are you numbed by the electromagnet field
from your television?
Friday, January 2, 2015
Technically you're not qualified
You're not qualified to own or open a business. If you know that, then you have a chance at success.
Most take their skills they've developed working for other business owners and try to transfer their technical skills to an entrepreneurial endeavour.
50% of businesses fail in the first year. Half of those who started their businesses last year are no longer in business today.
Are you sure you want to open your own business?
If I've scared you, you have two choices. Go get a job or continue to walk the entrepreneurial path.
If you're looking for money, go get a job. Owning a business might be the single fastest way to lose money if you don't know what you're doing.
And if you never owned a business, I'm gonna say this, "You don't know what you're doing"!
That's the bad news. It gets better. I promise.
To succeed in business as a new entrepreneur, you have to realize that you know nothing about business. Sure you have skills. You may considered an expert in your field. Your field is your field. Entrepreneurship is not. Transferring the technical expertise into a business is difficult. You are not an expert in entrepreneurship. You haven't done it yet.
Michael Gerber in "E-Myth Revisited" calls this the Fatal Assumption. "Knowing technical skills in a company does not mean one knows how to own a business that does technical work".
To paraphrase, "Just because you know how to fix cars does not guarantee success in owning your own a garage."
Don't fall victim to the fatal assumption. If you want to get into business, I commend you. Be smart and humble enough to go back to the bottom of the ladder and learn from scratch again. You don't have the expertise of owning a business.
Don't pretend you do. You'll hurt yourself and your family if you end up in the 50% of failures.
Most take their skills they've developed working for other business owners and try to transfer their technical skills to an entrepreneurial endeavour.
50% of businesses fail in the first year. Half of those who started their businesses last year are no longer in business today.
Are you sure you want to open your own business?
If I've scared you, you have two choices. Go get a job or continue to walk the entrepreneurial path.
If you're looking for money, go get a job. Owning a business might be the single fastest way to lose money if you don't know what you're doing.
And if you never owned a business, I'm gonna say this, "You don't know what you're doing"!
That's the bad news. It gets better. I promise.
To succeed in business as a new entrepreneur, you have to realize that you know nothing about business. Sure you have skills. You may considered an expert in your field. Your field is your field. Entrepreneurship is not. Transferring the technical expertise into a business is difficult. You are not an expert in entrepreneurship. You haven't done it yet.
Michael Gerber in "E-Myth Revisited" calls this the Fatal Assumption. "Knowing technical skills in a company does not mean one knows how to own a business that does technical work".
To paraphrase, "Just because you know how to fix cars does not guarantee success in owning your own a garage."
Don't fall victim to the fatal assumption. If you want to get into business, I commend you. Be smart and humble enough to go back to the bottom of the ladder and learn from scratch again. You don't have the expertise of owning a business.
Don't pretend you do. You'll hurt yourself and your family if you end up in the 50% of failures.
Time and money are not related
So you want to open a business. You think a business could solve all of your problems. It will probably be the start of even bigger problems. But that's a story for a different day.
What are you looking for?
Time or money?
They are not related to each other.
Time is a finite resource. It's like oil. There's only so much of it. Once it's used up, it's gone forever. Money is not. Money is like the sun. It's not always around when we need it, but we need it to survive in this world.
Money gives us time back. It's not about the fancy cars, warm vacations and cavernous homes. We on the search for time.
Time gives us freedom, and flexibility.
Chances are if you're starting out in business, you can't have both in the beginning. You have to earn the right to have both.
Better question is what are you willing to sacrifice to get what you're looking for?
You will have to sacrifice a lot of time and some money to get there.
How does that make sense? You have to gamble both to get hopefully one of them back in abundance?
It's simple math. Every investor knows that. Invest money wisely and through compounded interest, you get more money back in the long run. Time plays by the same rules.
Do you respect time? Most don't.
If you do, it respects you back.
Money doesn't respect anything. Don't worship it. It's like the pretty girl who dates the head banging crack smoking loser. It doesn't make sense but the less attention you pay to her, the more she's attracted to you.
That which we chase eludes us. Let money chase you so you can get your time back.
Invest your time wisely. It's the only thing that matters.
What are you looking for?
Time or money?
They are not related to each other.
Time is a finite resource. It's like oil. There's only so much of it. Once it's used up, it's gone forever. Money is not. Money is like the sun. It's not always around when we need it, but we need it to survive in this world.
Money gives us time back. It's not about the fancy cars, warm vacations and cavernous homes. We on the search for time.
Time gives us freedom, and flexibility.
Chances are if you're starting out in business, you can't have both in the beginning. You have to earn the right to have both.
Better question is what are you willing to sacrifice to get what you're looking for?
You will have to sacrifice a lot of time and some money to get there.
How does that make sense? You have to gamble both to get hopefully one of them back in abundance?
It's simple math. Every investor knows that. Invest money wisely and through compounded interest, you get more money back in the long run. Time plays by the same rules.
Do you respect time? Most don't.
If you do, it respects you back.
Money doesn't respect anything. Don't worship it. It's like the pretty girl who dates the head banging crack smoking loser. It doesn't make sense but the less attention you pay to her, the more she's attracted to you.
That which we chase eludes us. Let money chase you so you can get your time back.
Invest your time wisely. It's the only thing that matters.
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