One small ingredient

The difference between what YOU can do and what YOU can't do is one small ingredient.

I'm not going to overtly tell YOU what the thing is.
YOU wouldn't believe me anyways.
Life is more interesting when YOU have to solve the puzzle.

YOU can struggle or YOU can thrive.
YOU can be rich or YOU can be much less than rich.

Everything lies in balance waiting for YOU to discover what that one thing is that can make everything tip YOUR way.

YOU actually know the answer.
But YOU might be scared as new truths emerge that YOU are not willing to accept right now.

If I told YOU, YOU might say, "I know, but...".
There's no but. If YOU know, then do.
Forget fear.
Forget about change.

Live YOUR life.
Love YOUR life.
Do everything YOU want out of YOUR life.
Because YOU don't know when it will be YOUR time to stop,
FOREVER

Pitaza: born July 4, 2016 died July 28, 2018

Today I said goodbye to a dear, dear friend...Not a person, but a business.

Yes I said my business, Pitaza, was my friend. Because it was.
It saved me.
Crazy isn't it? A business that failed also saved my life.
Let me explain.

The next words is a letter that I've written to my dearly departed Pitaza which I pulled the plug on Saturday July 28, 2018.

I was in a dark hole.
I was worried.
I was scared.
I was angry.
I was frustrated.
Some think I was DEPRESSED.
I think I was LONELY.

I was looking for purpose, meaning, and something of significance to do.
I didn't care if I lived. 
I didn't care if I died.

It was at the scariest thing I ever faced.
Then I saw you.
It was in a dream.
I started to plan, and focus on things other than the daily self-wallowing, angry thoughts I was having.
I got excited, with each passing day.
I conceived a new baby by starting my fourth business. I came away with a friend.

It was fun creating again. 

Someone wanted to buy you, and I wouldn't let you go because I had bigger dreams.
In retrospect, I was healing and you were my medicine.

You are the reason I came back. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You gave me new energy, new creativity, new excitement and a new life.

I will miss you old friend and all the customers you brought our way.
It was fun, but it was time to end your life.
I'm sorry.
You saved mine and I ended yours.
But you are a thing, and I believe you did exactly what you were supposed to do.

You can call me crazy, but you can't call me DEPRESSED or LONELY.

Today is a great day, although a sad one. I will miss you Pitaza, and all the people you brought through your doors

With renewed hope,
your father, Rick

Success is heavy. Bend your knees.

Jump on my back, I'll carry you
To the place you want to go
If my knees get lazy or
My back gets crazy
We'll still make it there for sure

There is no time to second guess
The tortoise is closing in on the finish line
We've made mistakes, It's decision time
We will lose this race, if we don't go right now.
This I know for sure

You're on my back, let me lead.
My knees are crying for you to stop telling them where to go.
I know the way, I think, I hope.
I've been here twice before.
The end is not far, the path is not easy.
This I remember once more.

My back is numb. My mind is tired.
Worry tells me we cannot make it.
That is how we lose this race.
I remember this from before.
Pack up your tears, and simple fears.
It is not helping in this war.

If the persistence stops.
We're done for sure.
If the resistance slows to your worry,
It will enrage me with fear.
If my knees cannot make it to the finish line.
We will die here for sure.

There is no time to worry about simple things.
You've made your decision.
I'm not as strong as I pretend to be.
I do that to end your worry.
You see right through it,
With all the holes your words have pierced.

Let's be honest.
I don't know if we'll get there in time.
I don't know if I can carry you all the way.
I do know if we stay here, we cannot win.
I also know if we second guess this last decision, we will not win.
The time to party is over.
The time to work is here.
The tortoise is almost there.
I can see the finish line.
Why can't you see it?
You can see further,
For you are on my back

Let's make some lemonade

Can you say something nice?

Did you know that when something goes wrong, you’ll tell an average of 25 people about it?

And when things go right, you may tell one?

I like lemonade, especially when it gets squeezed it directly from a lemon and we add a teaspoon of simple syrup. 

We live in a world where bad news sells. I think we want the good news stories, but we still rivet unconsciously to the things that potentially ruin our day

It makes better stories.

It’s these negative stories that have me concerned.

A dash of sugar in a sour world changes every thing.

I quit Facebook back in 2017. Admittedly, there are times I find myself exploring information on it. But I quit. There was too much negativity, too much victimitus and too much whining and complaining. It didn’t come from everyone, but it came from enough that I found myself pulled into the same negative space. And I didn’t like what it was doing for me.

This week, I was sitting in circle at my favourite place on the planet and a wise man asked what was the favourite part of the week. He then went on to say that without verbalizing the positive event, the human brain automatically searches for the negative. 

“The food could’ve been better”.

“There wasn’t enough wine”.

“There was too much wine”.

“The instructors went too fast”.

“The instructors went too slow”.

My guru went on to say that evaluation forms at the end of a session searches for the negative events, in the hopes of making the session better. But this activity actually imprints the negative to the participant's mind and forces an undesirable feeling.

No sugar, no lemonade.

I have not enjoyed my experience on Air Canada for years. It is rare that someone from the organization makes me feel like a valued customer. Yet this week, my flight was cancelled on Air Canada and it forced me to stay overnight in Austin, Texas. 

I’ve seen flights get cancelled before and the room gets filled with smoke bombs and hand grenades.

Yet this time, there were high fives, fist bumps, handshakes and smiles from all inconvenienced passengers. 

The staff responded in clockwork fashion, without getting bitchy and whiny. They accommodated everyone and averted a potential disaster. I watched a ticket agent beg over the phone for a hotel room. No less than 7 times, did he say, “Please save me that room” in a row. It was awesome. He was saving the room for ME. 

He helped me check in for the next day's flight from my phone. 

He gave me the number of the shuttle I needed to call to get to my free hotel room. 

And then he gave me $40 in food vouchers. 

Air Canada went above and beyond to help the stranded customers. 

It was unexpected. 

I was delighted.

It was this type of experience that makes me want to use Air Canada more.

In keeping with the wise man’s words, the best part of my flight was the way Air Canada converted a bad situation into an excellent experience.

They finally figured out how to add a little bit of sugar into a mouth curdling event.

I never thought I could say this but, 

Thanks for the lemonade Air Canada!

Do you know who I am?

Imagine you are looking for a parking spot in a small plaza. There is one spot available, but it's bordered by a snowbank and a big van. But there's no other spot and you need to buy a sandwich from your favourite shop.

You open your door to meet the driver of the neighbouring van arriving at the same time. It's that moment when he goes left and you go left. Or he steps right and you try to go right.

I call it the "Dance". Part awkward, part funny. It's a moment that gets a chuckle.

Today, you have no time to dance. You're in a hurry, so to avoid any parking lot jig, you politely say "Excuse me" and scurry past him. He steps back, but then runs right into you with his dirty floor mat with the residue of 538 shoes on it.

No big deal.
Inconsequential.
Acceptable.
Forgettable.

Until you hear the next words out of his "co-worker's" mouth, who was walking behind your dance partner.

You could've waited until he put the mat in the van. That was rude.
What?

We were just going to be a second, you didn't have to ram into him.

What would you say?
Were you rude?
Most people don't try to be rude purposely.
They may try to be funny, or they may look for attention.
But rude is reserved for assholes. And you're not an asshole.

What would you do if you were the dance partner that got bumped?
Would you feel compelled to correct the actions of some random guy trying to get into his favourite sandwich shop?

What would you do if you were the owner of this company?

This happened to me this week.

I asked the big mouth if he owned the company that had a big red logo on the van.
He hesitated.
Then I asked my dance partner if he owned the company.
He reiterated that I didn't have to bump him.

"Do you know who I am", I shockingly stammered in my most indignant voice.
Umm, No.
Exactly, I'm nobody, a regular joe, a potential customer, and an existing customer of the company that pays your paycheques.

What's your point?
You don't know me.
But I know who you are.
I can retell this story on Facebook.
I can trash this company online.
I can hurt you.
I can use this story as a rallying cry for my cause.
Your business is possibly affected and you may lose your job.

Is it fair? Nope. But you're in customer service. Doesn't matter if I'm wrong or right. You need to have a higher standard for everyone, including regular Joe's like me, because you don't know what we are capable of doing.

Was I wrong?
Maybe. I was in a hurry and probably wasn't paying attention to the needs of someone else.

Am I ashamed of it? A bit, but the result wasn't a big deal until some hot-head felt the need to berate me in a parking lot.

We're all in customer service, especially when we wear logos on our shirts, on our cars and on our hats.

Pay attention to details or get caught with your pants down

Are there things you should be taking care of that you're avoiding?

No one is asking for it to get done so it's easy to push it to the back burner. 

It only gets done when it becomes a priority. 

Imagine you gained a few pounds over the winter. You eat a bit more, and exercise less as the temperature drops below freezing.

You become a bear. You hibernate, and fatten up to have an extra shield of armour to ward off the cold. 

Your favourite pair of pants become uncomfortable. They stretch past the comfort zone. The zipper fights to stay closed and your stomach scrunches up to survive another day.

Just after Christmas, the zipper informs you that he is stressed and may need to go out on leave if this keeps up. 

You avoid the plea for help. January is only 31 days long and Christmas weight will come off. The world would return to normal and all would be right again between you and your knickers. 

Then one day in January, you see in the bathroom mirror that your zipper is already half way to quitting time. Luckily you are wearing black underwear, so you suck your gut back into place and coax the zip back to work.

To get a head start on spring, you make a conscious decision to work out a bit more to help the zipper with his job. And all seems back to normal. Everyone is doing their jobs.

Fast forward two weeks...

You are standing in front of a room of 25 people giving a presentation, when 3 ladies off to one corner start giggling. The presentation has some funny parts, so giggling is expected. But you aren't at the giggly part yet. So as you're talking, your mind races to what could possibly be so funny.

It is distracting. Your mouth is moving, but your mind is focussed on those three girls, when a lightning bolt strikes. 

"Are you wearing the pants with the tired zipper?"

Oh shit, what if your zipper quit?

How do you check?

If you put your hand there, and the zipper is still holding up, you'll look like a fool.

You can't turn around and do a zip check, it will look odd.

But you can't continue if the zip retired. No one can focus on a fool's words when his horse is about to escape the barn. 

You think you're an idiot. You should've fixed that zipper or at least put those pants aside until you lost the weight. Now you're forced to deal with the shame you created.

With all this distraction, you can't continue. Words are coming out and you're not sure you're making any sense. You're living your nightmare. You're half naked in front of 25 people you don't know. All because of a stupid tired zipper not willing to do his job. You weren't paying attention to details.

In a last ditch effort, you decide to leave the room with some lame excuse. 

But the good lord comes to your rescue as someone feels the need to discuss his experience. It is the perfect timing you need as everyone looks at him.  You turn sideways to your right, while quietly sliding your right hand quickly down to the junk region, to discover your zipper is working as hard as you expect of him.

Phewf, another disaster diverted. The ladies are laughing at something other than your nakedness. 

Are there things in your business that need your attention?

Are those same things continuously going to the bottom of your "to-do" list because of their low priority?

Remember, like a dumb zipper, everything eventually becomes a priority. 

A disaster outside of your control is unfortunate.

A disaster within your control is stupidity.

Don't get caught with your pants down. You have no one to blame but yourself.

A tea, a blinker, a battery and a door

I walked to my car with a hot cup of tea in my hand.
I didn't put a lid on it because it cools faster.
I don't like steaming hot tea.

Arriving at the car, the good Lord splashed a fresh coat of freezing rain on my windshield, so I reached in the car to put my tea on the dash while reaching for my window scraper.  I missed both the scraper and the dash. My tea leapt out of my hand and sprayed itself all over the interior of the car to show its ownership.

Feeling stupid, I still had to clean the windows. I pushed as much of the water off the important parts, so I could drive home.

Two minutes later, my left blinker started to wave at me. I hadn't flipped the signal light on. Cars were cautiously passing me, while I fiddled with the signal lights. It wouldn't go out, so I put on the hazard lights to balance out the left blinker.

After 5 minutes of driving, I thought maybe the left blinker would be tired of his continuous waving. But to no avail. Removing the hazards, he was still there waving away as if to say, "Hey jerky boy, I'm hurting over here with all this waving, can you please turn me off".

I listened and pulled to the side of the road. But I couldn't get the key out of the ignition. The car was in the middle of a coup and it was about to overthrow its king. I didn't know what to do. I don't know what it wants. The hazards are working fine, so I restart the car, and keep driving, with the lights cautiously telling everyone that I'm at war with my car.

After 15 more minutes of driving, I try taking off the hazards again. The left blinker must have been exhausted. He stopped waving. Phewf, everything seems to be back to normal. Another disaster has been avoided for another day, I think to myself.

And just as I think everything is back to normal, my right blinker starts buzzing, like he's hopped up on some good drugs.

I get home and thankfully shut down the car and my key comes out without a fight. The disaster is over. The blinkers are quiet, the ignition has released its formidable grip and I'm home safe. Everyone must've been tired.

Or so I thought.

The next morning, I get to the car to find out the doors won't open. That's it, they've kicked out their king. The car hates me for that stupid tea.

Not having time to ask for forgiveness, I asked my wife if I could use her car for the day, which she awesomely agreed.

Not knowing what conspired the night before, I went off on my merry way.

Later that day, I opened the side door to the van and it wouldn't close.
Viva la revolutionne.
I was until full attack from another car.
The door wouldn't close.
And as I tried to force it back into place, it leapt from its home into my arms.
I'm screwed. I can't drive a van without a side door.
Nothing I did was working. So in one last attempt, I apologize for my inattention and magically the revolt is disbanded.

I was able to get the door back onto the van so it was drivable until the next day when I got it fixed for $500.
I asked for forgiveness from my car, by showing remorse of the spilled tea.

And everything was back to normal.
As I see it in my mind.

Now here's the reality.
I spilled tea all over my car, temporarily screwing up the electrical. The battery died in the middle of the night because the parking lights came on after I got home. My wife's van door had been a problem for a while. Not thinking it would literally fall off, I had been ignoring the issue. Crazy that both things happened in less than 24 hours.

That's the boring way to look at it.

I could assume I had a run of bad luck. And you might not disagree with me.

But I think I had an amazing string of good luck.

Here's why:

If I don't spill the tea, my car doesn't act up.
The battery doesn't die.
I don't borrow my wife's car.
And the door doesn't fall off on me.
If falls into her hands.
She wouldn't know what to do.
Except call a tow truck and rental car place.
Besides me being worried, it would've cost $300-$400 more than it did.

The difference between good luck and bad luck is perspective. I'm $500 poorer but it gave me a great story to share.

Check your perspective the next time something shitty happen to you.
It might the best alternative to all the shitty options.