Don't be the dog. Be the car.

Life was good. 

Working on another project, the edge of the horizon was sharp.

A plan of action was set.

Summoning the winds, the bell dinged on the computer.

It wasn’t expected.

It was dismissed. 

As well as the person behind the email. 

She wanted time and/or money, was the thought.

She persisted. 

And she was dismissed a second time. 

It can’t be good, another thought screamed.

And she persisted again. 

I gave her my number.

Two minutes later, the phone vibrated. 

Wow, she didn't get the message.

I was not getting the message.

The wind had changed without notice. 

We agreed to meet.

The opportunity was ok, but not exciting.

We met, and my interest scattered away.

I told my wife I wasn’t moving forward. 

It wasn't of interest. It couldn’t give what we wanted.

The hurricane was pushing hard in my direction.

The phone rang again. 

The business was ours. 

I was still ready to back out. 

Until the realization of everything was arriving as was asked. 

Just in a different form.  

Without persistence, it wouldn’t have happened. 

Not mine, but someone else's.

  

I was AWARE of the business.

I did not chase it.

It chased me.

The world came to me as I made other plans.

The world gave exactly what I wished.

I sit here thinking about success.

And how this success came to be.

Learning from success is as important as learning from failure.

So I sit here and share lessons for my own benefit as well as yours.

Letting go is the key.

Dogs don’t catch the cars they chase.

Don’t be the dog.

Be the car.

Let others chase you.

And they will chase.

Observe and witness.

The winds will change in your favour.

You have no control over it.

Don’t force it.

Embrace it when it comes.

And the result you ask for will come to you,

In a form you won't expect.

Happiness, superpowers, and races that can't be won

Do you ever do any work?
What do you mean?

I see you in your "office" posing as a coffeeshop at least three days per week. When do you do any "real" work?
Don't misinterpret the definition of office work in today's world. Some of us work at the beach, some of us work at home. Some sit in stuffy offices, and some enjoy a tea at the coffeeshop.

No real work gets done here, right. It's just pontification, meetings and responding to emails.
If I told you that I worked on a multi-million dollar acquisition last week at this table, would you believe me?

Are you not afraid of secret information getting out?
Nope, 90% of people don't care to know any details. Another 9% will forget them within 2 minutes of hearing them. So only 1% of people will care enough to remember the details. The chances are slim to none they are within ear shot of my conversation at the coffeeshop.

So the information could be heard and used against you.
I guess, but I don't live my life that way. Life's too short to worry what a competitor might do to hurt my dealings.

But they could.
Sure they could. But it hasn't happened yet. So why worry about things that might come.

Let's change the conversation, I have a question?
I hope it's better than "do you ever do any work?".

Umm. Hope so. How do you find a business to buy when all you do is sit in a coffeeshop all day? I have been looking for 3 years and haven't found anything interesting yet.
That's a great question. Start with your superpower and work out from there.

Superpower? I'm lost.
There's something you're great at. Maybe even one of the greatest in the world. It's the thing your creator gave you to exploit.

I don't have a superpower.
I don't believe you. It takes a rite of passage like failure to force it to emerge.

So I need bad things to happen to me to learn how to be successful.
Not always, but most of time. If you have success in your first business, you won't appreciate how special it is and will likely screw it up.

Ok, so let's say I fail along the way and I realize my superpower. Then what?
You learn from your mistakes. You grow and you become an expert in your field of influence.

Forget the superpower stuff. How do YOU buy a business?
I know where my edge is.

What is an edge?
I have made a lot of mistakes and I've had some success. The mistakes taught me what I should not do again, so I try not to make the same mistakes.

Do you have a formula for success?
Yes. Make mistakes.

Edge, mistakes, superpowers... I don't want to make mistakes, I can't afford to.
You can't afford not to. The men who are the greatest success stories can write books about their massive failures. It's almost impossible to be successful without passing through the door of failure.

I feel we're going in circles. Outside of mistakes and knowing your superpower, how do you do it?
Have you ever heard of Cafe Jomama?

I think it was a small cafe on the other side of town, but I never went there. And I think it closed.
Yes it did. That was my first business. I loved it. But I made a huge mistake. I didn't anticipate the time it took to build a clientele from scratch to profitability. And I built an extremely nice cafe that was uncomfortable to the average person.

Isn't nice better? Don't customers want nice environments to enjoy their coffee?
That's what I thought at the time, until a wise businessman told me that the nicer you make your restaurant, the smaller the target audience will be.

That makes sense. So what's your superpower?
I have a formula for success.

Will you share?
I can but you won't believe me.

Sure I will, I respect your experience and knowledge.
Ok. Let me change the conversation. How long have you been married?

Ah, about 4 years.
Can you share with the success of your marriage?

I don't know if it's successful. We're still married and haven't killed each other yet. It's just one day at a time. Learning from mistakes and not royally screwing up our bond is the key, I think.

When will you know you're successful?
Not sure, maybe when we're old and have grandchildren eating all of the ice cream in the freezer.

Is there a race to a successful marriage?
No, it's just living and trying to be happy.

Exactly. The same goes for business. Try not to make mistakes, but when you do, fix them as quickly as possible. Learn from them and keep going forward so future generations can benefit from your work.

But I need a certain income to survive and if I get into the wrong business, I could lose everything.
What do you really have?

A house, a couple of cars and a cottage.
You also have mortgages and car loans.

Yeah, but if I'm not making money, I could lose them.
Sure could. But don't forget, that the bank doesn't want those things. They want your money that you promised them. Stop paying and they will look to recover as much of their money as they can.

Exactly, the reason I can't afford to fail.
So you're more connected to the things you have than the life you want...

Huh?
You want to get into business, but you're not willing to sacrifice the material things you currently control. I'm not saying you'll be successful but I am saying that if you don't TRY, you can never HAVE.

There is no race to success in business. Of course we all want to be successful. But success is not about money. Money is a result. It helps but it's about doing the things that make us happy. I have a friend who has been talking about retiring from her job since she was 30 yrs old. How can you live a happy life when 40 hours of your week are spent in misery? 30 years of looking toward death is not my idea of fun.

Ok, so hanging out in coffeeshops make you happy?
No. Talking to people like you fills me. Writing about these conversations thrill me. And coaching my operations people to increase profitability feeds me. All while I travel, look for new businesses to buy and spend time with my kids makes me happy.

I get it, so you're superpower is not having to work in a business yet understanding how to make it profitable.
You're getting warmer.  I'm sorry, I have to let you go, I'm about to get on a conference call with one of managers.

One last question, "What's the secret formula"?
There is no universal secret formula. Just like a marriage, what works for me, may not work for you. There's too many moving parts. You have to figure it out for yourself. You'll find your way, if you're willing to try and make mistakes. And if you're not willing to fail, you better hope the race you're running can be won.

Huh?
Let's say you're making $100,000 per year in your job. The company lays you off due to poor sales. You're out of work and can't get another similar job. What happens to your savings? What happens to your house? What happens to your reputation?

I would lose everything.
Yes, the race you think you're running is not your race. So the thing you're afraid of could happen anyways.  When you come to the realization that everything you work for could be gone with something out of your control, you look at your life and your future differently. The assumption is always that you can be employed somewhere else. You are smart and someone else would be happy to have you. And you're probably right. But what if you're wrong? You end up in the same place that you fear the most. All the while doing stuff that doesn't make you happy, waiting for retirement like my friend.

How do you know this?
Because I was there. Not wanting to lose the race. Until someone made a decision out of my control that turned everything upside down. Looking back on it, I don't get here if I don't lose that job.

But you're making more money.
Not sure about that. But I definitely feel like I have more time to do the things I love.

One small ingredient

The difference between what YOU can do and what YOU can't do is one small ingredient.

I'm not going to overtly tell YOU what the thing is.
YOU wouldn't believe me anyways.
Life is more interesting when YOU have to solve the puzzle.

YOU can struggle or YOU can thrive.
YOU can be rich or YOU can be much less than rich.

Everything lies in balance waiting for YOU to discover what that one thing is that can make everything tip YOUR way.

YOU actually know the answer.
But YOU might be scared as new truths emerge that YOU are not willing to accept right now.

If I told YOU, YOU might say, "I know, but...".
There's no but. If YOU know, then do.
Forget fear.
Forget about change.

Live YOUR life.
Love YOUR life.
Do everything YOU want out of YOUR life.
Because YOU don't know when it will be YOUR time to stop,
FOREVER

Pitaza: born July 4, 2016 died July 28, 2018

Today I said goodbye to a dear, dear friend...Not a person, but a business.

Yes I said my business, Pitaza, was my friend. Because it was.
It saved me.
Crazy isn't it? A business that failed also saved my life.
Let me explain.

The next words is a letter that I've written to my dearly departed Pitaza which I pulled the plug on Saturday July 28, 2018.

I was in a dark hole.
I was worried.
I was scared.
I was angry.
I was frustrated.
Some think I was DEPRESSED.
I think I was LONELY.

I was looking for purpose, meaning, and something of significance to do.
I didn't care if I lived. 
I didn't care if I died.

It was at the scariest thing I ever faced.
Then I saw you.
It was in a dream.
I started to plan, and focus on things other than the daily self-wallowing, angry thoughts I was having.
I got excited, with each passing day.
I conceived a new baby by starting my fourth business. I came away with a friend.

It was fun creating again. 

Someone wanted to buy you, and I wouldn't let you go because I had bigger dreams.
In retrospect, I was healing and you were my medicine.

You are the reason I came back. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You gave me new energy, new creativity, new excitement and a new life.

I will miss you old friend and all the customers you brought our way.
It was fun, but it was time to end your life.
I'm sorry.
You saved mine and I ended yours.
But you are a thing, and I believe you did exactly what you were supposed to do.

You can call me crazy, but you can't call me DEPRESSED or LONELY.

Today is a great day, although a sad one. I will miss you Pitaza, and all the people you brought through your doors

With renewed hope,
your father, Rick

Success is heavy. Bend your knees.

Jump on my back, I'll carry you
To the place you want to go
If my knees get lazy or
My back gets crazy
We'll still make it there for sure

There is no time to second guess
The tortoise is closing in on the finish line
We've made mistakes, It's decision time
We will lose this race, if we don't go right now.
This I know for sure

You're on my back, let me lead.
My knees are crying for you to stop telling them where to go.
I know the way, I think, I hope.
I've been here twice before.
The end is not far, the path is not easy.
This I remember once more.

My back is numb. My mind is tired.
Worry tells me we cannot make it.
That is how we lose this race.
I remember this from before.
Pack up your tears, and simple fears.
It is not helping in this war.

If the persistence stops.
We're done for sure.
If the resistance slows to your worry,
It will enrage me with fear.
If my knees cannot make it to the finish line.
We will die here for sure.

There is no time to worry about simple things.
You've made your decision.
I'm not as strong as I pretend to be.
I do that to end your worry.
You see right through it,
With all the holes your words have pierced.

Let's be honest.
I don't know if we'll get there in time.
I don't know if I can carry you all the way.
I do know if we stay here, we cannot win.
I also know if we second guess this last decision, we will not win.
The time to party is over.
The time to work is here.
The tortoise is almost there.
I can see the finish line.
Why can't you see it?
You can see further,
For you are on my back

Let's make some lemonade

Can you say something nice?

Did you know that when something goes wrong, you’ll tell an average of 25 people about it?

And when things go right, you may tell one?

I like lemonade, especially when it gets squeezed it directly from a lemon and we add a teaspoon of simple syrup. 

We live in a world where bad news sells. I think we want the good news stories, but we still rivet unconsciously to the things that potentially ruin our day

It makes better stories.

It’s these negative stories that have me concerned.

A dash of sugar in a sour world changes every thing.

I quit Facebook back in 2017. Admittedly, there are times I find myself exploring information on it. But I quit. There was too much negativity, too much victimitus and too much whining and complaining. It didn’t come from everyone, but it came from enough that I found myself pulled into the same negative space. And I didn’t like what it was doing for me.

This week, I was sitting in circle at my favourite place on the planet and a wise man asked what was the favourite part of the week. He then went on to say that without verbalizing the positive event, the human brain automatically searches for the negative. 

“The food could’ve been better”.

“There wasn’t enough wine”.

“There was too much wine”.

“The instructors went too fast”.

“The instructors went too slow”.

My guru went on to say that evaluation forms at the end of a session searches for the negative events, in the hopes of making the session better. But this activity actually imprints the negative to the participant's mind and forces an undesirable feeling.

No sugar, no lemonade.

I have not enjoyed my experience on Air Canada for years. It is rare that someone from the organization makes me feel like a valued customer. Yet this week, my flight was cancelled on Air Canada and it forced me to stay overnight in Austin, Texas. 

I’ve seen flights get cancelled before and the room gets filled with smoke bombs and hand grenades.

Yet this time, there were high fives, fist bumps, handshakes and smiles from all inconvenienced passengers. 

The staff responded in clockwork fashion, without getting bitchy and whiny. They accommodated everyone and averted a potential disaster. I watched a ticket agent beg over the phone for a hotel room. No less than 7 times, did he say, “Please save me that room” in a row. It was awesome. He was saving the room for ME. 

He helped me check in for the next day's flight from my phone. 

He gave me the number of the shuttle I needed to call to get to my free hotel room. 

And then he gave me $40 in food vouchers. 

Air Canada went above and beyond to help the stranded customers. 

It was unexpected. 

I was delighted.

It was this type of experience that makes me want to use Air Canada more.

In keeping with the wise man’s words, the best part of my flight was the way Air Canada converted a bad situation into an excellent experience.

They finally figured out how to add a little bit of sugar into a mouth curdling event.

I never thought I could say this but, 

Thanks for the lemonade Air Canada!

Do you know who I am?

Imagine you are looking for a parking spot in a small plaza. There is one spot available, but it's bordered by a snowbank and a big van. But there's no other spot and you need to buy a sandwich from your favourite shop.

You open your door to meet the driver of the neighbouring van arriving at the same time. It's that moment when he goes left and you go left. Or he steps right and you try to go right.

I call it the "Dance". Part awkward, part funny. It's a moment that gets a chuckle.

Today, you have no time to dance. You're in a hurry, so to avoid any parking lot jig, you politely say "Excuse me" and scurry past him. He steps back, but then runs right into you with his dirty floor mat with the residue of 538 shoes on it.

No big deal.
Inconsequential.
Acceptable.
Forgettable.

Until you hear the next words out of his "co-worker's" mouth, who was walking behind your dance partner.

You could've waited until he put the mat in the van. That was rude.
What?

We were just going to be a second, you didn't have to ram into him.

What would you say?
Were you rude?
Most people don't try to be rude purposely.
They may try to be funny, or they may look for attention.
But rude is reserved for assholes. And you're not an asshole.

What would you do if you were the dance partner that got bumped?
Would you feel compelled to correct the actions of some random guy trying to get into his favourite sandwich shop?

What would you do if you were the owner of this company?

This happened to me this week.

I asked the big mouth if he owned the company that had a big red logo on the van.
He hesitated.
Then I asked my dance partner if he owned the company.
He reiterated that I didn't have to bump him.

"Do you know who I am", I shockingly stammered in my most indignant voice.
Umm, No.
Exactly, I'm nobody, a regular joe, a potential customer, and an existing customer of the company that pays your paycheques.

What's your point?
You don't know me.
But I know who you are.
I can retell this story on Facebook.
I can trash this company online.
I can hurt you.
I can use this story as a rallying cry for my cause.
Your business is possibly affected and you may lose your job.

Is it fair? Nope. But you're in customer service. Doesn't matter if I'm wrong or right. You need to have a higher standard for everyone, including regular Joe's like me, because you don't know what we are capable of doing.

Was I wrong?
Maybe. I was in a hurry and probably wasn't paying attention to the needs of someone else.

Am I ashamed of it? A bit, but the result wasn't a big deal until some hot-head felt the need to berate me in a parking lot.

We're all in customer service, especially when we wear logos on our shirts, on our cars and on our hats.