Grandma and dad used to have daily crib games. The games were epic with pulsating voices coming from the kitchen when someone had a great hand. "Hot digitity", "Oh boy", "Sonofabitch", "Yee-haw" were a few I remember. There were others I'm sure.
I learned the game of crib from them. I watched them, counted the cards, looked for the patterns, and learned what to throw away and what cards to keep.
Dad took me under his wing and taught me all of the rules of crib over a few weeks. He regularly beat me as he showed what I could've played versus what I had played. He got all the good cards. I knew he liked to cheat, so I was sure he was dealing the cards crooked. But he got the right cards when I dealt too.
He shared a secret about crib that I never witnessed in those games with Gramma. No one ever talked about this secret. I don't know if Gramma knew the secret skill my dad had. He showed me how to do it making me promise not to share it with anyone else.
Before Grandma died, I danced a few rounds of crib with her. She never beat me. She used to curse like a sailor when I vanquished her.
She could beat my dad, but she never triumphed over me.
Thinking back, it started when I was a youngin' of 6 years old. Gramma would flip the cards upside down and we would play Memory. Looking for matching cards, the winner would be declared with he who had matched more pairs. My brain was young, uninhibited, free of pain, drugs, alcohol and stress. I never knew Gramma Grace to drink. But her downfall was a chain-smoking addiction to menthol cigarettes.
That was the only advantage I needed as a child.
As an adolescent, I didn't have that same competitive advantage as alcohol exposed me to a new world of enlightenment.
I was 14 when I started playing crib. To beat Gramma required a new competitive advantage. I had to cheat. Dad passed down his secret in my trust. And it worked. Gramma stopped playing crib as she got sicker and later bed ridden.
My dad's secret is not much of a secret anymore. A book and a movie came out 8 years ago exposing it.
Dad applied the Laws of Attraction to his cribbage game. He taught the rules of visualization to me.
Never once did I think this skill was transferrable to other areas of my life until I saw the "Secret" movie.
Gramma used to say I had a horseshoe up my ass. Luck had nothing to do with it. I wanted that card, visualized it, asked for it and was always giddy in thanks when it turned up.
We can cheat the game of life the same way dad and I cheated at crib. It's quite easy.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Questioning authority
I'm a product of the public school system. My kids are now being produced by the same system that created me and countless others like me.
On the way to school this morning, my daughter told me that she dared not question the rules at school. Some rules like respecting others, being polite and not yelling, running, swearing or disrupting others are regulations that show mutual respect for others. I accept these rules. And so should my children.
But there are other rules that have no bearing on respect. These rules are arbitrarily assigned by a person in authority because they can. The adult in me says these rules are ridiculous. Luckily I'm not a student at this school. As the parent, I must coach my children to think inquisitively.
My daughter is a unique little girl that questions all of my rules. What stops her from questioning her teachers? Does she accept all things said in the classroom? Is she thinking for herself or has she become a drone accepting all information as fact in school?
She worries about questioning the teacher about a banal rule for fear of making the teacher mad.
"Who are you more afraid of upsetting, me or your teacher?". She confirms that I am her biggest fear.
"Who has more power, me or your teacher?". She again answers that I have more perceived power.
"Why don't you question things you don't understand?". She answers that understanding the rules is not as important as obeying them in school
She's nine years old.
Everything she does not understand has to be questioned as long as she does it in a polite, courteous manner that does not disrespect the adult. Poor girl does't know that questions are the key to learning.
That's my fault. I take 100% responsibility for her un-inquisitive mind. Teachers beware. My child is being prepared for the world. She needs to question rules, why they exist, what would happen if they didn't exist, who made up the rule, how can the rule be changed and when will it all happen.
We've been taught to accept the rules, don't question them and just keep moving on as if we do understand them. It reminds me of the scene in "The Time Machine" by HG Wells. The Eloi in the book are future descendants of humans in the year 802701. They are fed and treated like livestock for the Morlocks to feed on. Morlocks live underground and rule the planet. The Eloi don't question anything. They just live in a paradise like place with food, drink and pleasure. Only to be eaten before they get too old and tough.
The fate of the Eloi is to be eaten. Is that what we want for our children?
On the way to school this morning, my daughter told me that she dared not question the rules at school. Some rules like respecting others, being polite and not yelling, running, swearing or disrupting others are regulations that show mutual respect for others. I accept these rules. And so should my children.
But there are other rules that have no bearing on respect. These rules are arbitrarily assigned by a person in authority because they can. The adult in me says these rules are ridiculous. Luckily I'm not a student at this school. As the parent, I must coach my children to think inquisitively.
My daughter is a unique little girl that questions all of my rules. What stops her from questioning her teachers? Does she accept all things said in the classroom? Is she thinking for herself or has she become a drone accepting all information as fact in school?
She worries about questioning the teacher about a banal rule for fear of making the teacher mad.
"Who are you more afraid of upsetting, me or your teacher?". She confirms that I am her biggest fear.
"Who has more power, me or your teacher?". She again answers that I have more perceived power.
"Why don't you question things you don't understand?". She answers that understanding the rules is not as important as obeying them in school
She's nine years old.
Everything she does not understand has to be questioned as long as she does it in a polite, courteous manner that does not disrespect the adult. Poor girl does't know that questions are the key to learning.
That's my fault. I take 100% responsibility for her un-inquisitive mind. Teachers beware. My child is being prepared for the world. She needs to question rules, why they exist, what would happen if they didn't exist, who made up the rule, how can the rule be changed and when will it all happen.
We've been taught to accept the rules, don't question them and just keep moving on as if we do understand them. It reminds me of the scene in "The Time Machine" by HG Wells. The Eloi in the book are future descendants of humans in the year 802701. They are fed and treated like livestock for the Morlocks to feed on. Morlocks live underground and rule the planet. The Eloi don't question anything. They just live in a paradise like place with food, drink and pleasure. Only to be eaten before they get too old and tough.
The fate of the Eloi is to be eaten. Is that what we want for our children?
Do you like to be told what to do?
I always wanted to be a grown up. Now that I'm here, there are days, I wish I could be a kid again. I think there are many who feel the same way.
There was one thing I hated about being a kid. I didn't like to be told what to do. I didn't like teachers, parents and any other kid trying to control me.
Most want to do a job well. We learn this in school as we look for the affirming A on our test.
Some people need more direction. Some people require less. In either case, the reason we work with other people is compound the effort so it all gets done faster.
I escaped my childhood the day I entered the workforce full-time. There were protocols, rules, and roles. But as long as one did the job with interest, ferociousness and consistence, no one was questioned. No one directed, managed, or told me what to do until payroll costs started going up. To do the job, I was working 10-15 hours overtime per week. We all were in my department of 30 employees. The work had to be fully completed by Saturday at noon and we didn't have enough people to do it all.
I left that job when people started telling me what to do. I wanted to be lead. Instead I was managed. Unfortunately, most people in management roles think leadership and management are the same thing.
They are not.
You manage things.
You lead people.
By trying to manage a person, you diminish the person to a thing.
One of the biggest issues today in business is motivation of the workforce. Did you ever try to motivate a pencil? The damn thing doesn't move until you pick it off the desk and do the work for it.
Employees have roles in the organization. With motivation, they go beyond their specific roles to help the organization. Without it, they work 9-5, expecting a paycheck every two weeks. They don't try to excel. They don't try new risky things in fear of being fired. They do the job they were asked to do.
We crave leadership.
Entrepreneurs don't like to be told what to do. If you have an employee problem, the problem is a deeper issue embedded in a leadership problem.
You are the problem if you're supposed to be the leader.
If you fix the leadership problem, you will fix the employee problem.
Lead people. They crave it. They will love and respect you for it.
There was one thing I hated about being a kid. I didn't like to be told what to do. I didn't like teachers, parents and any other kid trying to control me.
Most want to do a job well. We learn this in school as we look for the affirming A on our test.
Some people need more direction. Some people require less. In either case, the reason we work with other people is compound the effort so it all gets done faster.
I escaped my childhood the day I entered the workforce full-time. There were protocols, rules, and roles. But as long as one did the job with interest, ferociousness and consistence, no one was questioned. No one directed, managed, or told me what to do until payroll costs started going up. To do the job, I was working 10-15 hours overtime per week. We all were in my department of 30 employees. The work had to be fully completed by Saturday at noon and we didn't have enough people to do it all.
I left that job when people started telling me what to do. I wanted to be lead. Instead I was managed. Unfortunately, most people in management roles think leadership and management are the same thing.
They are not.
You manage things.
You lead people.
By trying to manage a person, you diminish the person to a thing.
One of the biggest issues today in business is motivation of the workforce. Did you ever try to motivate a pencil? The damn thing doesn't move until you pick it off the desk and do the work for it.
Employees have roles in the organization. With motivation, they go beyond their specific roles to help the organization. Without it, they work 9-5, expecting a paycheck every two weeks. They don't try to excel. They don't try new risky things in fear of being fired. They do the job they were asked to do.
We crave leadership.
Entrepreneurs don't like to be told what to do. If you have an employee problem, the problem is a deeper issue embedded in a leadership problem.
You are the problem if you're supposed to be the leader.
If you fix the leadership problem, you will fix the employee problem.
Lead people. They crave it. They will love and respect you for it.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Ideas are combustible but only under the right conditions
Mazda used to have a tagline in their advertising that demonstrated the fun of driving their cars. A kid would say "Zoom zoom", as if playing with his toy cars while he tore up the livingroom carpet.
Thinking about that iconic usage of rhythm reminds me of the number one problem with entrepreneurs.
Everyone has great ideas. Ideas can come from anywhere.
It's the execution that most people struggle with it.
Heavy lifting and working toward a goal forces the entrepreneur into submission. The ideas multiply and spread like a virus. Yet the budding entrepreneur remains stagnate in a pool of submission and stink.
The problem gets analysed and re-analysed. The solutions change. The work does not. And the work sits there waiting for the entrepreneur to grab the reins to ride the wild horse off into the sunset, where dreams exist and fairy tales come true.
But the entrepreneur becomes paralysed with intent. The term is analysis paralysis. The feeling is fear. Nothing is achieved without action.
An idea is like fire. Fire needs air to create the massive energy required to burn a stick of wood. Air equals action.
Dreams die every moment as another wannabe entrepreneur think up great ideas only to watch them suffocate without oxygen.
Question: What's the most important step toward action?
Answer: The first one.
Are you gonna let the smoke blow out your flame, or are you gonna fan the flame into the largest, brightest flame around? Once the flame takes off, you only have to direct the energy to where you want it to burn.
You can't light a good fire if you don't start with the right conditions.
It all starts and ends with the entrepreneur.
Ready to move yet?
Thinking about that iconic usage of rhythm reminds me of the number one problem with entrepreneurs.
Everyone has great ideas. Ideas can come from anywhere.
It's the execution that most people struggle with it.
Heavy lifting and working toward a goal forces the entrepreneur into submission. The ideas multiply and spread like a virus. Yet the budding entrepreneur remains stagnate in a pool of submission and stink.
The problem gets analysed and re-analysed. The solutions change. The work does not. And the work sits there waiting for the entrepreneur to grab the reins to ride the wild horse off into the sunset, where dreams exist and fairy tales come true.
But the entrepreneur becomes paralysed with intent. The term is analysis paralysis. The feeling is fear. Nothing is achieved without action.
An idea is like fire. Fire needs air to create the massive energy required to burn a stick of wood. Air equals action.
Dreams die every moment as another wannabe entrepreneur think up great ideas only to watch them suffocate without oxygen.
Question: What's the most important step toward action?
Answer: The first one.
Are you gonna let the smoke blow out your flame, or are you gonna fan the flame into the largest, brightest flame around? Once the flame takes off, you only have to direct the energy to where you want it to burn.
You can't light a good fire if you don't start with the right conditions.
It all starts and ends with the entrepreneur.
Ready to move yet?
Friday, January 23, 2015
Does purpose matter?
I often ask myself what is my purpose in life. As if there is some grand plan waiting for me to push the right button so I can achieve everything I was supposed to.
The grand plan thing must come from deeply entrenched beliefs about religion.
Is it possible that I have a purpose?
In a recent video, I saw the grandness of our universe and the size of our planet in comparison. Our planet is basically a spec of dust moving at 67,000 miles per second. Dr. Seuss may have described our Earth appropriately in "Horton hears a Who".
Yet our egos place us at the centre of it all. Humans fight over land, money and natural resources when none of it truly matters.
What matters is the current relationships we have with each other. People won't remember what we said. They will not remember what we did. But they will always remember how they felt in our presence.
Working hard to make a living, we forget that we are all on the same dust ball.
Maybe there is no such thing as purpose. Maybe we made it up to give our life meaning. Maybe there's no life after death.
All these answers are beyond my knowledge. But I know what I believe and that's what keeps me going.
Here's the only thing I know for sure:
We are living on a spec of dust spinning at 67,000 miles per second. We are insignificant outside our own selves.
The grand plan thing must come from deeply entrenched beliefs about religion.
Is it possible that I have a purpose?
In a recent video, I saw the grandness of our universe and the size of our planet in comparison. Our planet is basically a spec of dust moving at 67,000 miles per second. Dr. Seuss may have described our Earth appropriately in "Horton hears a Who".
Yet our egos place us at the centre of it all. Humans fight over land, money and natural resources when none of it truly matters.
What matters is the current relationships we have with each other. People won't remember what we said. They will not remember what we did. But they will always remember how they felt in our presence.
Working hard to make a living, we forget that we are all on the same dust ball.
Maybe there is no such thing as purpose. Maybe we made it up to give our life meaning. Maybe there's no life after death.
All these answers are beyond my knowledge. But I know what I believe and that's what keeps me going.
Here's the only thing I know for sure:
We are living on a spec of dust spinning at 67,000 miles per second. We are insignificant outside our own selves.
I want to speak to the manager
Seven dreaded words when I managed a restaurant. My heart would miss a beat. I would tense up. The hair on my neck straightened. Was something so wrong the server couldn't fix it?
It hurt me to think that we did not do our best. I would ask the server what happened. Getting all the information, I would take a deep breath and go to the table ready for my lashings.
In most cases, the customer would thank me, offer praise to the staff or just want to say hi.
There were bad times. It is in those bad times, a manager is tested each and every time.
Here are my steps to handle a complaint.
Step 1: Listen and Understand
Let the customer say everything they have to say. Let them speak their entire mind. Ask questions to get more information. Don't offer a solution until you have all the information. A customer who starts to repeat themselves is probably done venting.
Step 2: Empathize and Acknowledge
Apologizing for a mistake is normal. Don't give excuses. A customer isn't always right, but they are about 95% of the time. Not all customers are equal. Asking a customer if this is their first experience with your brand is really important. A returning customer is more important than a first time customer. A first time customer can become a loyal customer if the stars align properly. But chances are if this is their first experience, and it's bad, they won't be back.
Step 3: Fixing the problem
Offer to fix the problem immediately. The manager's most important job during the day is fix this customer's problem immediately. Everything else becomes secondary. A fixed problem is a gone problem. A manager must always empathize that the customer's time has been wasted. All complaints need to be handled with tact. Putting a restaurant's immediate profits with this customer is not important. The future business is more important. If the problem can be fixed, offer a discount on this purchase but also on a future purchase. The rationale is to leave a customer with a remarkable last impression.
Step 4: Thank the customer
This is the most critical step. Saying something like, "Thank you for making my business better. I'm sure you're not the first person who this has happened to. You're courage in telling us has brought this oversight to our attention."
Most customers are not looking for freebies. They just want to be served. The very small percentage of customers that are potentially scamming the business is only damaging if you treat all your customers like thieves.
It hurt me to think that we did not do our best. I would ask the server what happened. Getting all the information, I would take a deep breath and go to the table ready for my lashings.
In most cases, the customer would thank me, offer praise to the staff or just want to say hi.
There were bad times. It is in those bad times, a manager is tested each and every time.
Here are my steps to handle a complaint.
Step 1: Listen and Understand
Let the customer say everything they have to say. Let them speak their entire mind. Ask questions to get more information. Don't offer a solution until you have all the information. A customer who starts to repeat themselves is probably done venting.
Step 2: Empathize and Acknowledge
Apologizing for a mistake is normal. Don't give excuses. A customer isn't always right, but they are about 95% of the time. Not all customers are equal. Asking a customer if this is their first experience with your brand is really important. A returning customer is more important than a first time customer. A first time customer can become a loyal customer if the stars align properly. But chances are if this is their first experience, and it's bad, they won't be back.
Step 3: Fixing the problem
Offer to fix the problem immediately. The manager's most important job during the day is fix this customer's problem immediately. Everything else becomes secondary. A fixed problem is a gone problem. A manager must always empathize that the customer's time has been wasted. All complaints need to be handled with tact. Putting a restaurant's immediate profits with this customer is not important. The future business is more important. If the problem can be fixed, offer a discount on this purchase but also on a future purchase. The rationale is to leave a customer with a remarkable last impression.
Step 4: Thank the customer
This is the most critical step. Saying something like, "Thank you for making my business better. I'm sure you're not the first person who this has happened to. You're courage in telling us has brought this oversight to our attention."
Most customers are not looking for freebies. They just want to be served. The very small percentage of customers that are potentially scamming the business is only damaging if you treat all your customers like thieves.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Picking up garbage
On a business trip recently with a business associate, I noticed that he was bending over. Looking down to see what he dropped, my eyes exploded in amazement. He was picking up a piece of garbage in the hotel lobby.
A piece of paper discarded as unimportant property. None of the staff saw it as important. My friend did. My friend is in the hospitality business. He's one of the nicest, most genuine people I have ever known.
I asked why he paid attention to someone else's trash. His answer was that his behaviour may change the employees behaviour. Although the hotel wasn't a client, he had programmed himself to be a model for change. Even if it meant picking up a stray piece of paper in a hotel lobby.
Yesterday, I went to the local coffee shop to drink a green tea while I worked. Another friend owns the place and a third friend is the manager. I chose my nesting ground and plopped my laptop on the coffee table only to find a discarded plastic cup and two paper bags filled with something that possibly might have been muffins.
Learning from my hospitable friend, I picked up the three pieces of garbage and went to the nearest receptacle to dispose of my undesired treasure. To describe the garbage can as filthy would be a compliment. It hadn't been cleaned in days, if not weeks.
Upon returning to my leased out chair, the crumbs on the floor reminded me of pebbles on a beach. I wondered if they were all from today or if the employees hadn't bothered sweeping this week. Maybe the sweeping is on the same schedule as the cleaning of the garbage can.
In either case, I listened to my heart. I followed my friend's lead in doing my part in removing the recognizable stuff.
I worry for my two friends who depend on this coffee shop for their livelihood. It looks like they are missing out on systems or they are not paying attention to details. Either way, it's a slippery slope.
It's not a customer's job to pick up the garbage. My hospitable friend does it. So will I. But most won't.
A piece of paper discarded as unimportant property. None of the staff saw it as important. My friend did. My friend is in the hospitality business. He's one of the nicest, most genuine people I have ever known.
I asked why he paid attention to someone else's trash. His answer was that his behaviour may change the employees behaviour. Although the hotel wasn't a client, he had programmed himself to be a model for change. Even if it meant picking up a stray piece of paper in a hotel lobby.
Yesterday, I went to the local coffee shop to drink a green tea while I worked. Another friend owns the place and a third friend is the manager. I chose my nesting ground and plopped my laptop on the coffee table only to find a discarded plastic cup and two paper bags filled with something that possibly might have been muffins.
Learning from my hospitable friend, I picked up the three pieces of garbage and went to the nearest receptacle to dispose of my undesired treasure. To describe the garbage can as filthy would be a compliment. It hadn't been cleaned in days, if not weeks.
Upon returning to my leased out chair, the crumbs on the floor reminded me of pebbles on a beach. I wondered if they were all from today or if the employees hadn't bothered sweeping this week. Maybe the sweeping is on the same schedule as the cleaning of the garbage can.
In either case, I listened to my heart. I followed my friend's lead in doing my part in removing the recognizable stuff.
I worry for my two friends who depend on this coffee shop for their livelihood. It looks like they are missing out on systems or they are not paying attention to details. Either way, it's a slippery slope.
It's not a customer's job to pick up the garbage. My hospitable friend does it. So will I. But most won't.
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