Finding your purpose

Purpose is a funny thing that only comes from conscious beings.

I never thought much about purpose before three years ago. I lived my life, tried to be good to others and pursued my goals.

But then something happened on the way to death. I realized that one day there would be a knock on the door and I would no longer be here.

The urgency of creating something of extreme value became important. I was looking for my purpose. I didn't want to live a wasted life.

Not that I was looking for fame. I wanted to be able to laugh on my deathbed knowing I had accomplished something important in my time here.

In my first year of business school, we learned about the importance of mission statements.

I translated what I learned from business into a personal mission statement.

And I missed the point badly.

The reason for the mistake is businesses don't understand mission statements. Follow someone who doesn't know what they're doing and you'll end up in the same ditch, eventually.

As this was swirling in my head, I decided to open another restaurant. Again I wrestled with purpose and mission of this new business. It bothered me. I was supposed to have these answers for clients and I couldn't even come up with them for myself.

One sleepless night, while thinking about purpose, mission and trying to figure out what I stood for, I came to the realization that I did not have the answer. I had to seek it out from others.

Then I was enlightened by a brilliant nine year old, who just happens to be my son.

I asked my kids what the purpose of this new business was going to be. My ten year confirmed what most would say, "It's about making money".

Then my nine year old, who LOVES money, articulated so clearly why it couldn't be about money. I have been trying to tell businesses for years why money could not be the purpose. And he told us in a couple of sentences why businesses fail.

To put this into context, my nine year old doesn't do very well in school. He loves money. He counts his birthday and Christmas money at least three times per week. We've had to take away his wallet because he would roll around in it if we would let him. When I say, he loves money, I mean he LOVES money. Every winking moment, he thinks about, associates it to things and wants more of it.

But here's what he told his sister and I that morning around the breakfast table.
"It can't be about money. It will make you look selfish. No one wants to buy anything from someone who is selfish".

And there it was. The answer I was looking for. In the lack of a real purpose, people and businesses are thought to be SELFISH. In a selfish transaction, it's a dog eat dog world.

You want my money, what are you giving me in return.
Where's the discount?
Give me what I want and I will give you what you want.

That's simple transactional buying. It's the biggest pitfalls most businesses fall into.
And it can be avoided by existing on purpose.

I walk into my favourite coffeeshop and I don't know their purpose.
The default is to make money.
The default is selfish.

I go to buy a car or a sofa. The business talks about how it's going to save me money.
I'm not dumb. I know my savings are translated into profits for the seller.
Now I want a bigger discount.
I will price shop because no one is taking care of me, but me.
SELFISH

The opposite of SELFISH is GENEROSITY.

What are you generous with?
Time, Money, Education, Happiness, etc?
How do you promote them in your life or in your business.

So there it is. This new business will stand for generosity. It will be a giving corporation. It will take care of its employees, its customers, its community.

I'll share more about Generosity as it relates to marketing in my next blog.

Business and friendships

If you could own an audience, to the point where they would listen to every word you said, and then acted on your words, what would that be worth?

Is it better to talk to more people screaming from he mountaintops hoping that someone will give a shit enough to listen? Or is it better to have a few friends who like you, respect you enough to listen, and honest enough to not talk behind your back?

Business has lost its way.

Despite what you think, a business does not have to be all things to all people.  It has to be all things to the "right" people.

It is the job of your marketing team to find the "right" people.

Jesus Christ wasn't able to convince all the people.
Why would business people think they can?

Let's paint a picture.

You own a jewelry store and you want to sell 1 more diamond engagement ring each week.

Typically, a smart marketing person would ask questions like,
"Who's the target audience"
"What's your budget"
"Where does the target audience hang-out"

Then, they would market to the target audience screaming from the mountain top hoping someone will listen in their busy lives.

Most won't hear the message.
Some will hear it and not care.
Some will hear it, and consider your product while they shop the best deal, which may not be with you.
Almost no one will buy from you without price shopping first. You haven't earned their respect.

All you got was their attention.

Sustainable business is based on small friendships.

We don't find friends by yelling at them.
We don't find friends by talking to as many people as possible.

Friendship isn't a numbers game. And neither is good marketing.

There are fundamental rules for a friendship to work.
1. We have to want to be around each other.
2. We need to trust each other.
3. We want to help the other person without asking anything in return.

Businesses have forgotten the rules of friendship.
Most businesses want only one thing - money from its customers. And in exchange they offer a product or service.

We call that a transaction.
Not a friendship.

The first time a "target customer" hears a commercial, there has to be a connection in the message. No likeable message, no potential friendship.  As the target continues to hear the ad,  increases in likeability leans toward respect.

Respect is trust's mirror image.

Trust builds confidence and pushes action. When the "target customer" decides to interact with the brand and gets the same experience the ad made him feel, he will buy.

The purchase decision was already made through the emotions the ad created. The experience at the business reinforces the emotion.

Business isn't a numbers game. Let your message hang out with potential customers. Some will hate what you have to say. Some will love it. Let the ones who love it enter your friendship circle. Tell stories. Listen.

Don't yell or brag. In other words, don't be an asshole. Being an asshole attracts other assholes. Assholes aren't good for business unless you sell toilet paper.

With time, there will be new, cool, people hanging out in your business, wanting to buy from you.

Marketing is easy.
Good marketing is hard.

How many friends has your business made recently?

It's time to play

The fat lady does not stop and we do not pay attention.
For there are better things to do.
Than exit stage right.

Time is like the fat lady.
Singing to remind us that although we think we have just began, we are wrong.
Time is not measurable, even though we measure it.
Time cannot be bottled up into a jar and preserved like a common beetle.
We try to account for our time so we live fuller, deeper, more meaningful lives.

Inventions save us time from the tediousness of our lives.
But time spins out of control, going faster and faster until our allotment of it ends.

An wise old lady once told me, "What we focus on, expands."
It made sense, until I relate it to time.

When I focus on time, it does not expand. It races away.
As a child, time was irrelevant and stood still.
As an adult, everything has a deadline. Time is accounted for, and it speeds up.

Time does not exist, except in our own minds.

I have no time.
I wish I had time.
If I could only find the time.
It's time to get up.
Time-out,
What time is it?
Where did the time go?

We put so much emphasis on time, that we do not live. Trying to accomplish all the shit we set out to do before we go to sleep. Trying to meet deadlines measured by a unit of time, we cram it all in trying to make our lives more complete.

Accounting for time wastes our lives away, not enjoying the life we've been given.

Have you ever gone on vacation and came home exhausted? Of course, your routine was changed. You didn't have to be at work. But you added deadlines to your playtime.
You wanted to see, do, experience things. Even the simple pleasures of drinking poolside, was declared as relaxing, when in fact it was on your imaginary "To-do" list.

Time cannot be harnessed. It is not a wild horse waiting for its rider to tame it. It is you who is the wild horse.

Time owns your ass. You are here for a moment in time's infinacy.

If you want time to slow down, you may be too late. It will depend on how far you are up your own ass.

If there's anything we learn from children, time slows down for those who play.
Go find your play and play more.

The greatest inventions save us time

Time is not a renewable resource.

When it's gone, so are we.

All the greatest inventions have one thing in common - they saved us time.

Social media was accepted because it saved us on our most valuable resource.

We're human. We take advantage. We push the limits. We spoil ourselves and get sick by eating too much too fast. We are with time like we are with most good things: prone to addiction.

Social media and smart phones were created to help people connect, faster than ever before. The inventions allowed little snips of conversations to happen at light speed allowing us to deliver and consume little snips of conversations faster than we had ever done before with more people than ever thought possible.

What happened is what always happens with good things.
Overuse,
Followed by addiction,
Followed by social consequence.

These new inventions are exposing issues with productivity, anger, self righteousness and show-offery.

Social media is supposed to save us time. We're supposed to communicate faster online so we can get back to living our lives offline. Instead we're living our lives faster online, so we can live less offline.

I saw a "Facebook" friend last summer in person. It had been 20 years since I saw him last. Not 100% certain, I chose not to speak up. The next day, I talked with him online.

Am I the only fucked up introvert who has ever done this?

As the lines of personal and keyboard interactions continue to blur, our lives are more connected, but less interesting.

And in the process the dark truth of humanity gets exposed.

The Donald

A year ago, I nervously predicted that Donald Trump would be one of the republican finalists. Friends said he didn't have a chance. Friends explained how the nominations worked and how he would eventually flicker away.

Knowing very little about American politics, I felt a little safer in their justifications. But one thing worried me. Donald was marketing himself better than anyone had ever done before him. He had "real" brand recognition. He was saying things that no one ever dared say before. He was "different". And that had to be worth something in the popularity contest called an election.

Donald Trump is a joke. His ability to convince a growing group of people that he should be the next president of the United States is not. He gains popularity even though he doesn't say anything of value.

I have a theory why this joker is encouraged to continue down the electoral path. People have been yearning for someone to say something different.  No more political rhetoric. No more boring conversations about jobs, economy and healthcare.

Let's talk about walls, making America Great again, and deporting immigrants.

Trump doesn't act like a politician. He acts like a marketer. He says things in ways that gets emotion riled up in people. He stirs up the water to get the sediment in the bottom to float to the top. He wants people to be afraid. He wants them to get angry. He wants them to be politically incorrect.

He is zigging when everyone else zags. And that's why he is winning.

The fears, racism and anger have always been there, buried deep in the political correct world the public has been forced to live in.  Donald Trump gives people permission to exercise those emotions. And they feel good about themselves when they do.

A good marketer makes you feel good about your decisions.

We all know, The Donald doesn't have the goods to lead the country. And cooler heads may prevail when the final ballots are counted. He can't win. Can he?

Trump has opened the gates to Arkham Asylum. The crazies are being granted permission to run next time.

The fearful, angry voters will turn up another radical politician. A politician who presents well and sells to both the uninformed and informed voter is going to emerge.

It is not Trump I am afraid of. It is his successor.

The next nut job won't look like a joke. He won't talk like a joke. He will be well respected until it's too late. The Donald has laid the foundation for future radical politicians.

We should be worried.

You are Legend.

Let's imagine the landscape of North America 400 years ago. Europeans have started to infiltrate the land and explore the territory of the continent.

There were two types of pioneers. Those that settled the land and those who wanted to explore and discover new territory.

The settlers escaped from their past. They wanted a new beginning.
The explorers sought out adventure. They wanted to be legends.

Not all settlers realized a better life in their new environment. Dangers came to them. And some died before their time from these threats.

Not all explorers became legends. Some of them died in their search for adventure. Their knowledge died with them.

It is only the explorers that succeeded in their quest that we learn about in history books.

The same is true in today's world.

The adventurers are called by a higher purpose. Not all will succeed. Some will fail miserably never to be heard of again. Some will achieve such fame and fortune that songs will be written about them.

The settler will die, just like the adventurer. Dangers still come to them. And some die before their time should be up. The person who settles for a simple life ends up in the same position as the adventurer.

He lives a life not lived. Engraved with a fear for adventure, the settler works hard at surviving, providing and protecting his family, not realizing that a bear is about to tear down his door, rip out his throat before he cocks the gun.

There are more dangers to the adventurer. There is a greater chance of death. But his life will be lived while he is alive. And if he finds super success, not only will he live a luxurious life, his legend will live for generations through our children's stories.

Overcoming the Monster

I remember my 10th grade history teacher, Mr. Olscamp, shrieking in a high pitch fitting for a role in MacBeth, "Those who do not know their history are bound to repeat it".

He was referring to the similar errors in judgement of Adolf Hitler and Napoleon Bonaparte.

The english word "history", is lent from latin with origins from the Greek word historia, which meant finding out or narrative.

The word story is a derivative of the word history or its predecessor historia.

The word story also comes from historia.
A story is a narrative on a sequence of events, whether real or fantasy.
History supposedly recounts only actual events.

Yet when we break it right down, history is nothing more than a series of stories. Are they factual or fantasy? Unless you were there, you can't be entirely sure.
Napoleon is credited with saying, "History is written by the winners of war".

What I have witnessed is that stories repeat.

They are told with different characters, different events, different locations. But there are only seven basic plots to any story. Everything else is a derivative of the seven plots.

Imagine a character who is utter evil. One who takes no prisoners. A killer. No love interests. No emotion.  The evil mission is the only thing that drives him. There is no internal struggle. He kills. He's mechanical, not maniacal. He will terrorize until he is destroyed or he completes his mission.

Who is the character?
Terminator (the first movie)
Darth Vader (Star Wars)
Drago (Rocky IV)
The shark (Jaws)
Voldemort (Harry Potter)
Jason (Friday the 13th)
Michael Myers (Halloween)
Bane (Batman)
Grendel and Grendel's mother (Beowulf)

These movies all recount the same plot. It's called "Overcoming the Monster".

Each story starts with a menacing introduction to the villain. The reader is afraid of him/her. He is introduced to the hero and the rest of the storyline details how the hero fights an epic battle until he defeats the villain.

History repeats. The stories change based on the narrator. But in reality, they are all similar in plot.

The stories are simply repeating. They tell the same story with a super villian and someone who is challenged to defeat the super villain.

In real life, we see real life monsters in "characters" like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden.

Has anything really ever changed? Or do we just like a good Monster story.