Springtime finally...

Spring cleaning time is here again. Out with the crap we no longer use.  My job is the outside stuff. Aline's got the inside crap. I prefer my job.

Open the pool. Put the summer tires on both cars. Clean the flower beds. Trim the trees. Fix the roof. Clean the garage. Pressure wash the driveway.  Vacuum the glass from the shattered patio table. Set up the trampoline. I could go on but you get the point. There's a lot to do, and I haven't started thinking about the garden yet.

It's days like this one that I avoided for seven years. People use to caution me that working 6 days per week wasn't healthy. Ever since I sold the business I still work six days per week. None of them pay very well.

The one thing which I did look forward to is the burning of the bush. After we trimmed the trees, we had a massive bonfire in the back yard. At first, smoked rolled off the green branches like mercury in a broken thermometer. Then a flame emerged. A single flame that creeped ever higher in that mound of wood, as it tried to touch the sun. Then a second flame was born, cracking its shell of smoke. In no time, the flames rejoiced into my personal towering inferno.

I sat in silence for three hours, tending the flickering ballet. It was therapeutic listening to the whisper of the creek, the dancing lights and the singing robins.

I'm a bit tired, but very relaxed.

The world is changing

50 years ago, in any small town you could find a general store. Walmart revolutionized retailing efficiency. They compete on price. They expanded markets. If your market got a Walmart, it meant you were special. Some markets rejected the opportunity for a Walmart rationalizing that it would hurt their economy. I understand the thinking behind such decisions. The community has concern for the local operators worrying about culture and the local economy.

Walmart promises jobs. Not high-paying jobs but jobs nonetheless. Jobs are the key to stimulation in any economy. Walmart opens up and within a few years all the small competitors close their doors. Does the economy improve or deteriorate? Profits are moved out of the region into Walmart's bank account. Yet jobs are created.

Here's the interesting thing. We no longer need Walmart for retailing. With more more people having access to the Internet, the access to online retailing can get you anything you ever wanted online. No worries about transportation, it will be delivered to your door. The prices are usually lower due to a lack of overhead costs like rent. If you shop online you save money. Everyone loves to save money.

I recently bought a hot tub on-line. The price of the hot tub was $3000 cheaper than any other hot tub I could find in the local community. Because I bought it through Costco.ca I'm very confident the warranty will be respected by the amazing retailer by the same name.

Here are the problems with spending money an on-line retailer. The economy is stimulated through job creation and the recycling of money. When you buy something online money leaves your community and it doesn't come back. It may be cheaper. With every positive, there is a negative. You save money, but you're neighbor may lose his job, which means he doesn't support your company anymore. Enough of this stuff going on and you're out of a job.

Buying cheap stuff on-line is a short term gain. We all lose eventually, unless we play the same game.

Most of us don't, so we have a problem.

I wonder about my kids future. I wonder what the world will look like without these retailers. We are in the information age. The greatest commodity isn't energy. It isn't food.

The greatest commodity in this new age is knowledge. The phrase, "Knowledge is power" has never been so accurate as it is right now.

It's not my fault

Responsibility is a difficult characteristic to teach. I notice my kids playing the blame game constantly.

It's not my fault.
She started it.
The teacher is to blame.
I couldn't listen because there was too much distraction.
The dog is the problem.

Then the best yet,

I'm tired because I couldn't sleep in. I have to go to school.

This thinking is the result of a fixed mindset. My kids blame everyone and everything else for the consequences of their own actions.

In trying to teach my daughter about responsibility, I explained that every time she points the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at her. The little bugger opened her hand and motioned toward her brother. She responded by saying, now all the responsibility is on him. Problem solved.

Remember the Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding figure skating debacle of 1994. As part of ESPN's 30 on 30 series, they reviewed all of the events, with current interviews from Harding and other people involved with both athletes. It showed Harding as the trailer park trash and Kerrigan as the ice princess. What was the most shocking was that Harding has never taken any responsibility for anything that has happened to her. She was hated by the US Olympic Committee. The media wouldn't leave her alone. She didn't get enough sleep the night before the Olympic competition. Her skate lace broke and she lost her focus. Her estranged husband was pointing the finger at her for the assault on her teammate. It went on and on.

How sad is it that someone who was one of the best in the world does not believe that she was the problem?

I see it a lot. People, organizations, governments and nations who blame others for their woes. When in fact, if they looked at their own policies and actions, they would find the solution to the problem.

Shit happens. It's how we deal with it that makes us better for it. Forget about what others did. You can't control others. You can only control yourself.

Analyze what you did wrong. Look at what you could have done better. Learn from your tragedies. The greatest tragedy is not learning from your mistakes.

Take responsibility for your life. The next time you feel like using an excuse, be honest with yourself and with the person you're talking to.

You'll find the roses smell better, the sugar tastes sweeter and the sounds activate your soul.

When the mice are out, the chats will play

My wife and I have let our kids play around on the computer since they were about 4 years old. Always supervised, we limited their exposure to the harsh outside world. As we try to protect our youngins, they venture further and further from our nest.

We've been spying on them waiting for the first visit to a site that wasn't appropriate content. Today we found our chicks on a site marketing toward their age bracket. Yet the content and interaction is not right for any child. Concerned for our children's well being, I logged onto the site using my son's profile. I was able to have conversations with supposed other kids his age. The conversation sent back my way was too sexual for me and most definitely for my kids.

I proceeded to Google what other parents were saying about this website. None of it was good. As of today, my computer is blocking this site. Worst part of the whole story, my kids were given permission at school to log onto it.

Moviestarplanet may have been set up for young kids to socialize using avatars and games. It is nothing more than a chat room where kids no longer act like kids.

I feel sick to my stomach.

Plato

Plato said, "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."

Perception is reality

There have been two times in my life where I felt beat up, picked on, and most definitely powerless. I'm a confident person. But these moments in my history were not reality. They was perceptions, feelings, fantasyland.

In one situation, every time I saw my tormentor, I could feel my heart beating faster. I had an uncontrollable urge to shake. I was nervous, scared, frustrated and most definitely angry. All these emotions combined put me in a weak state. The bully had power and he used it to his advantage.

The object of my emotional demise stood about 6 foot 4. He was a giant that towered over me each time we crossed paths. The day he lost his power over me, he stood about 5 foot 6. How was it that I saw him so much taller than me and now he was shorter? My brain tricked me twice. He is about an inch taller than me at 5 foot 10.

Is it possible that everything we see is not reality? It is our perception of things, hence we make it our reality. If this is true, then there's no such thing as reality. We all live in our own dream world.

Take your dominant hand. Open it up so all five fingers are outstretched and not touching. Focus on it for a couple of minutes. Don't move. Focus on it intensely. The hand no longer feels like it's part of you. If you really focus on it, the fingers start to blur and you start to sense energy between your fingers.

Sometimes it feels like I'm in the Matrix.

What others think

One of my biggest fears in life is what others think of me. It's been an ongoing struggle for years. I dress a certain way. I use the right language. I drive the right car. I own the right house. It's f'ing tiring. A person cannot keep postering so that others view them a certain way.

I bought a nice home. Immediately thereafter I had to go into damage control. What will people think when they see what I've bought? They'll think I'm rich. They'll think I have more money than I actually have. I didn't buy the house for everyone else. I bought it for me, my wife and the kids. I am a far cry away from the kid that shared a bedroom with his sister in a mini-home.

I could discuss into how cheap I got the property, but no one will hear me. I could tell you about all the problems with the house before I bought it, and no one will care. I could tell you about the perfect storm that was created for us to buy our dream home, and it won't matter.

Ultimately, I have tried to downplay the purchase. I'm not rich monetarily. I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks about me and my family. But I do. And it's this thinking that forces me to react the way that I do. It's this mentality that bothers me.

I've been unemployed for 6 months. Actually unemployed is an incorrect term. I'm out of the labour force because I don't qualify for employment insurance. Yet we strive. Bills are paid, purchases are made, and ultimately everyone is happy.

One of my friends was recently confronted by her peers about a self administered shortened workweek. She was obviously distressed about the reaction of others regarding her situation. I know where she's coming from. My wife has worked outside of the home 4 days per week for 6 years. She works enough at home to take care of us all to make up the other 3 days. I admire her courage and her tenacity.

I try really hard not to care what others think of me. It's too much energy focused in the wrong direction. The haters that don't understand don't matter.

My life is mine. No one cared about me as a child except my family. If you're trying to build yourself up, leave me alone, 'cause I'm not gonna listen anyways.

If you love me, you won't hurt me.