Joy to the world

I recently stumbled across a book on mathematics that puts emotions into a completely new perspective for me. The author is Chip Conley. And unfortunately, I couldn't buy the book at my local Chapters so I have to wait for it from Amazon.

In my quick research on it, I found a very deep mathematical equation relating to JOY that I wanted to share.

Love - Fear = Joy

So to translate, when we love something and there is an absence of fear, we live in a state called joy. Remember when you fell in love. Remember the honeymoon period in your relationship? This state that we call being in love can falter sometimes because life kinda gets in the way. Stress comes rushing in, kids get added to the equation, bills can't get paid, the job gets more demanding, etc... All this new stuff generates fear.  What we were calling "in love" was in fact a state of joy.

Don't we all want to be extremely happy? I was recently talking to a friend and he was going through a rough time. I could sense his pain. I concluded that joy is the opposite of sad. So using math, I deconstructed it using the simple formula.

Joy = -Sad

So Joy is the complete opposite of Sad. But it would be equal to negative sadness.

Love - Fear = Joy,
              
              and Joy = -Sad

Then we could say this mathematical statement:

Love - Fear = -Sad

If we turn Sad to a postive, using simple arithmetic, the equation would look more like this:

Sad = Fear - Love

If this equation is correct, it would mean that our fears are greater than our ability to love and the overabundance of it will generate a slow burn towards sadness.

This kinda makes sense to me. Someone told me once that there were only two basic emotions: Love and Fear. Love and its derivatives like happiness, joy, excitement, anticipation are on the positive side of the dichotomy. Fear and its derivatives like sadness, anger, jealousy, envy are on the negative side.

The equation for joy/sad demonstates that the dichotomy has some truth to it. The next time you're sad about something, write down your fears about it. Write down what you love about it. I bet you'll have more fears.

Fear is the biggest monster in our lives. Go on a quest and slay the monster. It won't be easy. You'll have to pick up special weapons along the way, like self confidence, and self esteem.

Money doesn't buy happiness. Money buys things that may look like we're happy. In actual fact, if fear is present the more money you have, the more afraid you are to lose it. Hence, money is not the answer to our problems of sadness.

You can spend a lifetime in sadness or a lifetime of joy. You get to choose.

Ta ta for now!

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live".
-Dorothy Thompson

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

Dorothy Thompson

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/dorothytho121783.html#smusA23e9ZGQejJO.99

Drop it like it's hot...

We've all heard the cliche, people are creatures of habit. Let's explore habit a bit this morning.

On December 31, habitually many of us set New Year's resolutions. The idea is to get rid of our bad habits. Yet by the 15th of January, we have a relapse and most of us drop our new found activities and revert to our old ways.

We know there are good and bad habits. We tend to focus on the bad ones because those are usually the ones that are self destructing. Cursing, smoking, drinking, eating too much are the more popular ones. I went to a seminar once where the speaker said something I never heard before. Not doing something is also a habit. At that time, I wasn't exercising regularly. I had a bad habit of not exercising. And I thought I didn't have any bad habits...

NASA did a bunch of research on habits. They wanted to know how long it would take an astronaut to get used to weightlessness. In an experiment, astronauts put on inverted glasses so that they would see upside down and backwards.  They wore them day and night. On the 30th day, the astronauts' brains reprogrammed their eyes so that eyesight and motor skills became normalized. They got used to their new glasses and could function normally just like you and I. Here's the amazing part, if an astronaut removed the glasses before the thirty days were complete, they had to start all over again and complete another 30 days before their brains would reprogram. After 30 days in this environment, their brains rewired. To get used to not wearing the glasses took another 30 days after the program ended.

You know what this means? Our brains are just complicated organic machines. To rewire it, requires 30 days of a changed way of thinking and doing. Any habit we want to break takes thirty consecutive days with no relapse. Any habit we want to create takes thirty consecutive days of activity. It won't be comfortable. The good news is that it's only thirty days. Now when we want to rid ourselves of a self destructing habit, we can count down the thirty days, knowing it gets much easier.

The video below goes into further detail about pavlovian thinking on habits that I thought was interesting enough to share. It explains the need for reward for a changing behaviour, which will change the way we look at a changed activity. Very interesting stuff...

Here are two observations to show simple habits that we don't even pay attention. Not self destructing, just plain ole habits in our daily lives.

1. Put your hands together like you're going to pray. Interlock your fingers. Recognize which thumb is on top. Most likely that is the same thumb that is always on top, when you put your hands together. Now, put the thumb that was on top and switch it with the other thumb. It doesn't feel right. Right? Habit

2. When you get out of the shower, notice how you dry yourself off with a towel. If you're like me, you always dry the exact same parts in a particular order. Never changes. And when you consciously change that order, it feels extremely weird. Again, another habit.

Everything we do is based on some particular habit. So when we talk about comfort and more importantly discomfort, the underlying problem we may be facing is that we've acquired a bad habit and we don't even know it.

Ta ta for now!

"Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time".
-Mark Twain

Don't believe the hype

Since I was 19 years old, I have been hearing about RRSP's, retirement and pensions. Coincidentally, my first year of university, I took a course in Economics. First day in class, the professor put up a graph that looked something like this.



Where Supply intersects with Demand is where an ideal price will lie. We learnt on that first day that as demand increases or as supply decreases, price will increase. And if demand decreases or supply increases, prices go down if form of sales discounts. That makes sense. If I sell generators and there is a power outage, the demand increases, or as the supply decreases, price of the generator will go up.

With mutual funds, it's much more complicated so the financial advisors tell me. But the law of supply and demand still hold true. The baby boomers bought a lot of RRSP's. The baby boomers will capitalize the most on these products. But as they move out of their financial holdings, supply goes up, which drives down price. And as long as supply stays high, prices stay low. For a 40 something, RRSP's suck.

I always thought corporate and government pension plans were the best method for retirement planning. The companies I worked for didn't have any of those plans, so I was sh*t out of luck. But then I met someone really interesting yesterday.

I read that if you ever want to see where you'll be financially in 20 years, just look at someone doing what you're currently doing that is 20 years older than you.

Yesterday I had to go to a local hardware store to pick up some building materials. I was served  by an older gentleman named Dave.

Dave was awesome. I could tell he had a really great memory. He was memorizing product code numbers that were 9 digits long. His math skills were impeccable. I could tell that this wasn't a career choice for Dave. Dave struggled with the computer and one colleague came along and totally disrespected him by deleting all of his inputted information, just so the colleague could get a price check. I couldn't help myself. I thanked Dave for the great level of service and attention I was receiving. He thanked me as any good customer service agent would do. Then I took one step further. I said to him, "I can tell you're a really smart guy. This doesn't look like a career choice for you. Why are you here?"

Dave informed me that he had been a public servant for 35 years teaching children the laws of physics and mathematics.  Not surprising given his ability with numbers. What did surprise me was the fact that Dave doesn't have enough in his pension to support him and his wife into their retirement. He explained that his pension was being governed by his previous employer and things looked mighty bleak.

Dave worked hard his whole life. With the exception in July and August, I have never envied teachers. Dave continues to work hard today despite being sold an illusion of retirement that today he cannot afford.

You want to look into a crystal ball all you have to do is look at some of the people that are already there and start analyze what's going on. My new friend Dave is no different than anyone of us. I thought guys Dave's age would be protected from the financial mess that my generation is going to go through. Aspirations of a pension is an illusion. We need to get financially intelligent. Our country, our province and our lifestyles are in trouble. If we don't watch out, we're going to end up just like Dave, working in a hardware store dealing with young punks who think that we're stupid because we don't know how to operate the newest technology.

Here's how we parted ways. He said my company thanks you for your business. I thank you for your patience. I shook his hand and said to him, "Dave, I thank you for your story".

Investments are a very personal decision. But think about Dave. How are we not going to end up like him?

Ta ta for now.

Contagious like a yawn

We've all noticed that when a person yawns, inevitably the inexplicable cognitive forces cause someone else to yawn. It's like a virus. Contagious from one person to another. Funny when you think about it.

Know what else I noticed about these inexplicable cognitive forces? The same thing works with a smile.

I'm not a smiling type. I'm very happy, but I smile on the inside. I wasn't born, like my wife, with a permanent smile. I remember when I was 15, there was a girl in my math class who passed me a note. I love numbers. I was in heaven learning whatever was being taught that day. I was so intrigued and focused, that I looked sad. The note read, "Smile, whatever's wrong will get better". I was confused. What I learned later is that people are either introverts or extroverts. Some introverts, like me, will smile occasionally. It doesn't make them less happy. I laugh all of the time. I love immensely. I'm just referring to a simple smile.

There are four categories to smiles:
1. Smile to fake happiness,
2. Smile to show happiness,
3. Don't smile but still happy, and
4. Don't smile and not happy.

Have you ever smiled at a complete stranger? I'm sure you have, because I have caught myself doing it. I get all gooey inside and I always feel better after I've done it. Take note the next time you do it. It's like everyone gets really happy for a couple of seconds. A baby looking at me always pulls a smile out. Holding the door for a stranger and a quick interaction of thank you and your welcome always makes me feel better and forces the little bugger out. When I smile, someone smiles in return - EVERY TIME. And I always feel happier for the experience.

The analytical person inside wants to know if people smiled more, if the world would be a better place. Even when I'm in a bad mood, a baby always gets the better of it. An innocent baby, unknowingly, changes my life, even just for a second.

In Boy Scouts, we were taught to do good deeds daily for others. I don't know if helping others can get us on track with our happiness problem. A couple of weeks ago, I helped a lady who had ran her car off the road. I was running late for an appointment. The roads were slick. And it was cold. I had all the reasons not to stop, but I did anyways. I helped get her out of the ditch. When I left, I was extremely happy. I had done good that day.

We have a happiness problem. We get so stuck into our own problems that we sometimes forget that others have problems too. Remember the "pay it forward" technique? I'm going to create a simple daily goal for myself, "Do one good deed daily". I know I feel better from it. If everyone did one good deed daily, wouldn't the world smile more? I challenge you to the make world happier. Remember it's as contagious as a yawn.

Ta ta for now.

"A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles".
- William Hazlitt

World worthy

A year ago today, I made a pact with myself. I promised myself that I would do something extraordinary. I had just turned 40. A funny number 40...I started looking at life a bit differently. I saw it as a finite resource that I was wasting away. I saw each day slipping through my fingers like sand at the beach. For the first time in my life, I accepted the fact that I was going to die. I will not live forever, or will I?

I have achieved middle age - the apex of life. I don't have, nor do I need a sportscar.  However, I have yet to achieve anything that will stand the test of time - or as I like to call it "world worthy".

I know my ego drives this thinking. Is it bad to think this way?

My ancestors have almost all died. The memories associated with my grandparents are disappearing. The pictures are there, but my kids didn't know them. They didn't know the way my grandfather loved to tease. They will never know anything about him except what we share about him. Eventually, the stories dissipate with the passage of time and the memory of him will die when all those that knew him also die.

That sucks! How can I elude my own mortality? How can I live on after I die? Is it even possible?

I think it is.

We have names that ring into our consciousness despite them being dead for a long time. Do you have to be famous to live on forever? It probably doesn't hurt. But what if we did something so wonderfully awesome that the world took notice, historians captured it and future generations would learn about it.

I want my great great grandkids to be proud of what I've done for them, for their name, for their community, and for their world. How am I going to do that?

Any ideas? I'm running out of time...

Letter to my wife

Dear Aline,

There have been times when I've been lost. I didn't know it at the time. It seems like you've always been there when I needed you most. I was lost as a 23 year old kid, when you found me and saved me from the burning wreckage of my life.

Life has always gotten better with your focus, your drive, your ambition and your tenacious love.

You don't get enough credit around the house. That's because all the credit is supposed to come from me and I'm not that good at giving it out. It's not for a lack of thinking about it. It's just the way I'm hardwired.

My love, we've been together for 18 years, married for 15 and the best is yet to come. I promise.

Be patient with me. They say, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", but this old dog still has a few tricks to perform.

You hear the words, "I love you" every morning. The only way I can top that is by screaming the same words from the Internet mountaintop.

I LOVE YOU!!

Rick

PS. Aline doesn't know I'm writing this. More importantly, we're not fighting.

Rest of the world: As you look into the lens of my life, I issue you the challenge. Tell someone that you love them today. Three simple words that can mean so much. Life is too fragile.

Dog days of winter

So another freezing day of winter biting into my bones... For years, I've complained about the chattering cold, wondering why I continue to spend one quarter of my life in this god-forsaken bitterness.

I've been in warmer climates for vacation. I've enjoyed company with Mickey Mouse. The temporary break has never quite satisfied by thirst.

I'm told that I need to find outdoor activities to appreciate the weather. Too cheap to buy a ski-doo, can't skate, and never skied.

I plainly hate winter and the cold and snow it brings. There is one clear benefit that I can't lose sight of. If it wasn't for winter, I would never appreciate spring as much as I do. I also don't like hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, scorpions, black widows and alligators. So I guess it could be much worse.

This year to get rid of the dog days of winter, we adopted a puppy. My first dog since I left the nest. Sleepless nights, stinky breath, floor pee and constant supervision... Despite that I still don't mind. The dog lovers already know this. Even though we've only had Trixie for two days, I'm already feeling better.  There's something therapeutic about a dog. I act like a little kid around her, rolling on the floor, speaking in uncontrollable puppy language and clapping my hands every time she does something right.

This puppy is teaching me more about parenting than I'm teaching her. Here's what I learned so far:
1. Recognize good behaviour, reward accordingly.
2. Stop bad behaviour right away, but don't punish.
3. Play a lot
4. Always tell them how much you love them.
5. Be cuddly

Here's to hoping a puppy can take away the winter blues.

Ta ta for now.