My best friend died today

A bunch of famous musicians died when they were 27: Jim Morrison, Janice Joplin, Kurt Cobain.

I was 21 when Kurt Cobain committed suicide. I loved Nirvana. "Teen Spirit" was the rock anthem of 1991 and 1992. The music was just so radical for me as a young adult.

After Cobain's death, for a reason I will never be able to explain, there was an overwhelming feeling of death in my life. It was so strong that I interpreted it as a sensation that I would die when I was 27 and join some of these famous icons.

Although I had no aspirations of being famous. I never thought I "belonged" on that list of people who died in their prime. It was just a thought, a sensation, a pulse that I would die in my 27th year since birth. I never kept these thought silent. I told the people close to me that I was going to die at 27. I told my mom and dad. I told my girlfriend who became my wife. I thought I was crazy. But for some reason this sensation of death could not escape the clutches of my perception.

I turned 27 in the year 2000. I'm sure this time of confusion and uncertainty contributed to these strange sensations. The Y2K bug was going to shut down all of the world computers. People were somewhat nervous. Funny thing was that even though I could feel the clutches of death, it never scared me. I had completely accepted it and wasn't afraid of it at that time.

And then he threw me a curve ball that I didn't see coming. Death came knocking on my door just 11 days into my 27th birthday. Someone very close to me unexpectedly died.

I lost an uncle. I lost a teammate. I lost a friend's father. After he died, I told people that he was like a second dad. And in many ways he was. In a world before cell phones, if you wanted to find me, I was either at my parent's home or at his house. He died 14 years ago today. And only recently did I realize that I lost my best friend that day.

He wasn't a friend in a way that we would go chasing girls. He wasn't a friend that you would bring to the teenage dance (he was 18 years older than me). If you needed to talk, he would listen. He could break down the bullshit and give solid advice. If you needed to laugh, he was always up for a good time. He never judged me. He never told me what to do. He never put me down to make himself feel better. But if you needed something, he was there with "bells on". Funny thing is that anyone who knew him, felt the same way about him.

Dan, I never mourned for anyone the way I have mourned for you. And as I'm writing this I realize I still mourn you. I still miss you.

My best friend died on the seventh day of the second month of the zero year (00-2-7). A piece of me died that day with him.

Letter to sociopath #1

I started working with you because of a dream. I had a dream to build a better life for me and my family. I trusted you to take care of me and guide me away from key mistakes that most entrepreneurs make in the beginning.

I should have seen the signs. You only cared about money. You didn't see the human component of a business. For you, people are a means to an end. To me employees were like family. 

What I should have noticed is that you saw me the same way. I was a means to an end. I was an employee that could be fired and tossed to the curb. 

You are a sociopath. Your money hungry ways will one day catch up to you. I want you to know that the tribulations I went through over the last 7 years was very difficult for me. My mom told me that I should never hate anyone. I find that hard to uphold when I think of you. You tried your best to take everything away from me.

Guess what? You failed!

My mom told me I should never wish ill will on anyone. I have a hard time with that one too. 

I have to take the positive out of our time together. I learned to look for the sociopathic tendencies in people first instead of believing everyone I meet is honest and of positive character. I learned that I will never do business with you ever again. You're a sociopath and I'm not, so I will always lose in a relationship with you. I also learned how not to treat others. 

Here's the way I want to think:

Karma's a comin'. You will get yours. I won't seek revenge. Nor will I wish it on you. But when it happens, I have to admit that I will be happily cheering, drinking a glass of champagne on the sidelines.

I'm bigger than that. I will never forget the way you treated me. I will never forget how I felt. I will never trust you to get close to me again. However, I know that I need to forgive you. For you do not know better. It's actually sad to see you live your life in such disharmony.

I realize now the way you treated me had nothing to do with me. Maybe you weren't raised by good honest parents who loved you. I can't understand that because my parents were awesome.

I forgive you. You did not know better. You cannot hurt me anymore!

Rick

Knock knock.

We look around and we don't necessarily see. We hear, but we don't necessarily listen.

My wife gave me a fridge magnet about 9 years ago. It said, "Opportunity is everywhere". I didn't know how right that little magnet was until now. All things are for sale. Even if they are not listed, they can be sold for the right price. What's the right price? It's an agreed price that the seller will let it go for and what the buyer is willing to pay. You never have to overpay if you don't want to.

I have looked at no less than 10 businesses in the past 3 months. Some were listed as for sale and some were not. After a few minutes with the owners, all businesses were for sale. Some were too expensive, some were really cheap. All in all, if you want something you have to go get it.

You've heard the saying, "Opportunity knocks". In my experience it has never knocked. If it had, I would have been stupid not to open the door. I believe "Opportunity whispers". It whispers to you in your sleep. It whispers to you as you drive by it everyday. It whispers to you when you talk to others. Because it's such a faint whisper, it is easy to dismiss as white noise.


And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

-Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven"

Yesterday, I took a drive and started looking at houses and businesses in a way I had never done it before. It was like I had opened my eyes for the first time. I saw things I failed to see before. It was exhilarating. 

As in "Stairway to Heaven", you need to listen very hard for opportunity. It's there. We are all here for a reason. We choose the reason. We decide. But if fear holds us back, then we never fulfill our true purpose.

Have a great day!

Who's the rascal that taught us about money? Part 2

Inflation is the number one killer of financial health. Each year, economists will argue that inflation has risen by 2-3%. If your money isn't growing at that rate, then your savings is falling behind. Savings in a bank account will be rewarded with about 0.5%.

Here are a couple of examples of inflation at work:

1. When I entered the workforce in 1995, a good starting salary was $25,000/year. Today's graduating students are making in the range of $40,000/year. If you take inflationary pressures of 3% annually from 1995, the number is a bit more than the $40,000 starting salaries for today's newest graduates.

2. I bought a house in 2004 and sold it 9 years later for $58,000 more than I paid for it. If I account for 3% annual inflation, I lost money on the house.

I had money in my pocket from the sale of the house. When most people sell a house, they have to buy another one. If the market has gone up, then the purchase price of the next home will also have gone up. There is no new savings, just new debt. That's right new, bigger and longer debt!!!

The people of my generation and younger do not know what it's like to carry 19% interest payments on their debt. It was our parents/grandparents who had to face that monster. Some of us have learned to use debt to our advantage. And some of us are getting eaten by it, even in these times of cheap debt. In either case, we have all become a society of gluttons.

We eat too much. We drink too much. We spend too much. And we rationalize it by saying that we deserve it.

We depend more and more on the banks everyday. I've seen people with good jobs and no kids lose their homes. I've watched intelligent people make extreme errors in judgement with consumer debt. We have given control of our lives to the financial institutions that carry our debt.

I'm afraid of where this is all going. I'm afraid that many will be homeless, penniless and desperate. I'm hoping that more realize that overspending beyond the means cannot continue. I wish everyone will take the time to put their financial well being back on track. I'm praying that everyone realizes that the only way we will survive the coming economic storm is to prepare now by putting our horses in the barn. We need to help our neighbours do the same.

If you think you're safe, do some research on what's going on in Detroit, Michigan. The city's economic condition has become critical. Some think it's the first sore of a major sickness that is about to brood throughout North America.

Don't think it could happen here? It wasn't supposed to happen in Detroit either.

We're in serious financial trouble, as individuals and as a society.

Here's to your health

I take health for granted. A few months ago, I was on a strict physical training regiment called Crossfit. During that time, I was in the best shape of my life. A few times, when work got busy, I would skip my training. Health can wait. Work comes first. Right? Not according to my coach. He said that if I'm not healthy, I'm no good to anyone, including my family, my business, my friends and most importantly to myself.

He was right!!!

I hate being sick. It happens so rarely, that I have forgotten the inconvenience of it. Until I get sick. I'm a wimp when I get sick. I don't want to do anything but just lay still and try not to move my stomach muscles in fear of upsetting the status quo.

Yet after a couple of healthy days and I start taking it all for granted again. It's like the proverbial hangover when a person says "never again".

Good things are always taken for granted: health, love, happiness, summer. It's in their absence that we notice them. I wonder why.

I hate being sick. If I was sick because I overdrank,  I could have averted it by making different choices.

The next day I don't feel like this, I'm going to do everything I can to ward off these demons. Exercise, nutrition, vitamins - you're all in my future. I am going to make different choices.

My world stops when I'm under the weather.

Sorry for the rant. My brain doesn't think clearly in these conditions. I'll be better tomorrow.

Ta ta for now!

"Health is not valued until sickness comes"
- Thomas Fuller

Because I said so...

As a child, I remember asking my parents why I had to do certain things. Many times the answer was the same, "Because I said so...". Man, I hated that answer. It didn't mean anything. I wanted a reason. I got an order.

I have always hated being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I'm just not hardwired to accept submission. In grade 8, my teacher forced me to take off my track suit jacket, because of a no jacket rule in class. In my rotation of clothes, I caused a small rebellion the next week. I wore my track suit without an under shirt. I figured out the "No jacket" rule was less important than the "No shirt" rule. That didn't go over well with the teachers. I was undermining their authority. I look back and I think I was using my creative thinking to get past their stupid rules.

Schools say they promote creative thinking. Truly, they want students to submit and do what they are told to do.

I have been extremely lucky in my work life. The three companies I have worked for have always given me the freedom to get the job done without close supervision.

Funny enough, the first franchise business I bought was exactly the opposite of my work experience and more closely resembled my grade 8 experience.

We always hear about the benefits of franchises versus getting into an independent business. I can tell you first hand from my franchise experience, that it made me an expert in restaurant operations. But there were huge pitfalls to being in a franchise.

Looking back on the experience, it was not that much fun. Being told what to do, without reason was a challenge. When asked why we did certain functions and tasks, I was told because that's the way we want it done. Maybe that answer works for some people. I wanted to know why. In my franchise, I was a prisoner.

My mom used to say, "If everyone jumps off the bridge, does it mean you have to too"? I love that question. She basically asked me, "Are you a leader or a follower"? To be a good franchisee, you have to be a follower. I was a shitty franchisee.

Don't get me wrong, I made money as a franchisee. I was very unhappy. I learned what I don't ever want to do again. I'm very thankful for my experience. It made me a smarter businessperson.

If you ever want to buy a franchise, you should talk to people like me. We can give you some insight that you might not think about. A franchise might be right for you and it might not be.

Either way, knowledge is power. I won't tell you what to do.

Ta ta for now!

What is your life's purpose?

Why are we here? Are we supposed to accomplish something? I think of these questions from time to time. My spiritual side will tell me there is some divine direction that I am supposed to follow. My rational side will tell me that purpose is whatever I decide the objective to be.

I believe that things happen for reasons. Sometimes reasons are not really clear at the time. I'm probably rationalizing the occurrence of negative events to make me feel better. I'm making an assumption that divine intervention gives a shit about some of my simple life experiences. Ultimately, I don't care! For some reason, allowing the pressure of an experience to release by giving credit to "The Ultimate Plan", makes me feel better.

Isn't that all that matters? We feel better.

I have friends who are agnostic. And I have friends who are atheist. They don't believe in the things I do. They cope with their issues in a different way. That's ok too.

We will all die. Recently I asked a group of friends, "On your deathbed, as you look at your time on Earth, you will analyze your life. What do you want to have accomplished"? And if we use Stephen Covey's thinking in his foundational book, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", "What do you want others to say at your funeral"? In all of the people that I talked to, no one mentions money or financial wealth as an objective.

These questions lead to our life's purpose. What we want to accomplish before we die.

Character, legacy, someone who helped others, and being a good parent/spouse are some of the more popular responses that are heard in these discussions.

So go look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "What is my life's purpose"? Once you've answered it, ask yourself honestly, "Am I there yet"?

If you have not achieved your life's purpose yet, then it's time to get real. Put all your cards on the table and ask yourself, why are you not there yet. Find the why to your problem, and you'll find the solution in the same place. Once you've uncovered the real reason for your failure to achieve your life's purpose, you can start to unravel the twine and put your life on a path to achieve all of the things you have ever wanted.

Any good business has a vision for its raison d'etre. As people, we need to also envision our purpose, so that we can start taking steps down the right path.

It's gonna get uncomfortable. 2014 is going to be an awesome year.

Ta ta for now!

"If you don't know where you're going, then any road will take you there".
-Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)