The boy woke up 20 minutes late. He was poopy tired, but happy he got to see the game last night. Breakfast was again a joke. No major problems and they got to school on time again.
With a couple of great meetings in the city, I was able to get some work done and still be a fulltime parent who was home when the kids got off the education factory's taxi service.
Supper and homework was also easy. The kids got it off lucky tonight. I had some work I wanted to catch up on so they were able to do what they wanted for three hours.
At 8pm, they both had their showers. I went for a run on the treadmill while the boy watched hockey and the girl watched something else on the other TV. Remember when most homes had only one television. And there were only three channels on the dial. I'm not sure how we survived with so few choices, let alone no remote control.
When I finished running on the spot, I put the kids to bed.
Bedtime was also easy, peezy. Mommy sent an email saying she loved us all. So we replied with a video message just before bedtime. Kids were crazy funny. I'm sure the Queen will cry when she sees it.
My mom left for Mexico today, so now my backup support is gone. Let's hope there are no surprises for five more sleeps.
Time to watch a bit of hockey before putting the dog in her kennel for the night. This will be three nights of kennel sleeping. No more messes on the floor. But she wakes us up consistently at 3am and 7am just as timely as an alarm clock.
As cute as she is, I hate the dog.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 10
Two thirds of the way there. When my kids were babies, just when I got too comfortable with a situation, they would change the rules to mess me all up. All kids are like that. Get used to them crawling around and then they start walking. Get used to getting up with them every four hours and then they sleep through the night.
Ten days into my new found comfort zone and my daughter woke up with a sore throat. It looks like a cold may be making its way through her body. It shouldn't be a surprise since she's come home three times without a coat in 6 degree weather.
I remember once I went to the Caribbean in January and all the Canadians were swimming in what the locals thought was cold water. The locals were all wearing light jackets and long pants, while we were running around shirtless.
I thought I was going to get a whiny girl who may try to take a day off school. I tried to give her echinacea but she was scared to swallow the mammoth cylinder. She wouldn't swallow it but instead wanted to chew it like gum. The look on her face was not surprising. Chasing the herbal taste with a litre of water, she vowed never to take another herbal pill again.
She took extra long to get ready this morning. Her bored brother decided to shoot some hoops instead of waiting. Insisting that everyone wear a jacket, two upset kids dragged their feet and wasted their time while I impatiently waited in the car with the dog.
15 minutes late, we showed up to the factory to drop off the little workers.
Kids were great at supper. Another night lacking in the "idontlikes". I'm loving this new attitude. I'm wondering if it's because I'm such a great cook or if they are just being nice.
Our son asked if he could stay up late to watch the hockey game tonight. Playoffs start tonight and he's a bit a hockey nut. Agreeing to let him watch the game on the one condition that he take a nap from six until eight pm, he happily skips upstairs to change into his pyjamas.
Once I got him to bed, I came downstairs and couldn't find our daughter. She wasn't upstairs because I just came from there. She wasn't in the kitchen, tv room or livingroom. She never goes to the basement so I wondered where she was hiding. The only way I stay ahead of these kids is by preparing supper a night in advance. So I go out to the garage to get hamburg from the freezer for tomorrow night's meal.
To my amazement, our daughter is playing outside. To understand this better, this girl doesn't like fresh air. In the summertime, when we're flopping around the pool, she stays inside to read. When we ride our bikes, she watches tv. She NEVER goes outside on her own. But she's outside and no one asked her to go. She's wearing a sweater but it's not zipped up. Her cold is about to get worse, but I'm so happy to see her outside. I told my mom what happened. She thinks our daughter is starting to miss her mom.
Concerned about a mini depression settling in, I ask my beautiful daughter why she went outside on her own. Turns out she's not depressed. I asked her to unplug from all electronics before supper. She was bored and didn't want to read, so she went outside to chalk up the asphalt. If that's all it takes, I learned a new strategy for this summer.
Waking the boy up at eight pm, he confirms that he didn't sleep much. I might pay dearly for this decision tomorrow. He is happy and that makes me feel like I'm a good dad. Together we watch our beloved Montreal Canadiens win game one of the NHL playoffs. The game took a little more time to complete because of all the scoring and penalties in the second period. With 11 pm approaching, I was worried that there would be overtime. The game could go into the early morning. Prepping my son that after the third period, he would have to go to bed despite the score, it didn't look like I was going to get any pushback. He was lying into my chest, ready for bed. But he couldn't take his eyes of the television.
At 11 pm, we went to sleep and as I close my eyes, the only thing I pray for is that I don't get a grumpy kid the next morning. Only time will tell....
Ten days into my new found comfort zone and my daughter woke up with a sore throat. It looks like a cold may be making its way through her body. It shouldn't be a surprise since she's come home three times without a coat in 6 degree weather.
I remember once I went to the Caribbean in January and all the Canadians were swimming in what the locals thought was cold water. The locals were all wearing light jackets and long pants, while we were running around shirtless.
I thought I was going to get a whiny girl who may try to take a day off school. I tried to give her echinacea but she was scared to swallow the mammoth cylinder. She wouldn't swallow it but instead wanted to chew it like gum. The look on her face was not surprising. Chasing the herbal taste with a litre of water, she vowed never to take another herbal pill again.
She took extra long to get ready this morning. Her bored brother decided to shoot some hoops instead of waiting. Insisting that everyone wear a jacket, two upset kids dragged their feet and wasted their time while I impatiently waited in the car with the dog.
15 minutes late, we showed up to the factory to drop off the little workers.
Kids were great at supper. Another night lacking in the "idontlikes". I'm loving this new attitude. I'm wondering if it's because I'm such a great cook or if they are just being nice.
Our son asked if he could stay up late to watch the hockey game tonight. Playoffs start tonight and he's a bit a hockey nut. Agreeing to let him watch the game on the one condition that he take a nap from six until eight pm, he happily skips upstairs to change into his pyjamas.
Once I got him to bed, I came downstairs and couldn't find our daughter. She wasn't upstairs because I just came from there. She wasn't in the kitchen, tv room or livingroom. She never goes to the basement so I wondered where she was hiding. The only way I stay ahead of these kids is by preparing supper a night in advance. So I go out to the garage to get hamburg from the freezer for tomorrow night's meal.
To my amazement, our daughter is playing outside. To understand this better, this girl doesn't like fresh air. In the summertime, when we're flopping around the pool, she stays inside to read. When we ride our bikes, she watches tv. She NEVER goes outside on her own. But she's outside and no one asked her to go. She's wearing a sweater but it's not zipped up. Her cold is about to get worse, but I'm so happy to see her outside. I told my mom what happened. She thinks our daughter is starting to miss her mom.
Concerned about a mini depression settling in, I ask my beautiful daughter why she went outside on her own. Turns out she's not depressed. I asked her to unplug from all electronics before supper. She was bored and didn't want to read, so she went outside to chalk up the asphalt. If that's all it takes, I learned a new strategy for this summer.
Waking the boy up at eight pm, he confirms that he didn't sleep much. I might pay dearly for this decision tomorrow. He is happy and that makes me feel like I'm a good dad. Together we watch our beloved Montreal Canadiens win game one of the NHL playoffs. The game took a little more time to complete because of all the scoring and penalties in the second period. With 11 pm approaching, I was worried that there would be overtime. The game could go into the early morning. Prepping my son that after the third period, he would have to go to bed despite the score, it didn't look like I was going to get any pushback. He was lying into my chest, ready for bed. But he couldn't take his eyes of the television.
At 11 pm, we went to sleep and as I close my eyes, the only thing I pray for is that I don't get a grumpy kid the next morning. Only time will tell....
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 9
One week from today and the real Queen is back in the house!
The dog is starting to get on my nerves. Second day in a row she leaves me a huge steaming present on the floor. That's it. She's sleeping in her kennel tonight. Not sure if she's punishing us for losing her mommy or if she's just stupid.
I decided to cook a turkey today. I didn't realize how easy it was. Not sure what all the fuss is about cooking a big bird. I feel so accomplished.
While the kids were at the mini-factory today, I went to the city and had two great meetings. In the second meeting, I was talking to a colleague about how much food we have in our house. I spent $40 on groceries last week to get some milk, bread and fruit. Besides that, the three of us have eaten well. Every day, I pull something out of the freezer. There's still enough in there for two more weeks. I started to clean out the pantry today only to realize that we have enough food there to last us at least three more weeks. Why do we have so much food? Plus I have a cooked turkey that I have to freeze now. There's no way we're eating that much turkey in a week.
Our son went to his first basketball practice tonight. He was really nervous. There's no basketball at his school so we had to drive 20 minutes to a strange school where he didn't know anyone. And everyone spoke English, which is his second language. I could tell he was nervous because he was quiet for the entire drive. Plus he went outside after supper to practice his dribbling and shooting. He was one of the youngest kids but he hustled the hardest on the floor. Proud papa I am.
He liked it so much, he wants to go back next week. Unfortunately, next week we have a scheduling conflict. His mom's coming home at the same time as practice. I asked him what he wanted to do. He suggested leaving his mom at the airport until after practice. Don't think that's gonna fly with our queen.
Coming home from basketball, the smell of Christmas overtook our noses as we entered the side door. Our daughter complained about having to brush her teeth with a mint toothpaste. She reminded me that I'm a bad father for not getting her favourite toothpaste for a second day in a row. I promised I wouldn't forget again. First thing tomorrow I have to go to the pharmacy or forever be cast as that father who wouldn't buy the right kind of toothpaste. I'll never live it down.
Once the kids went to bed, I pulled the meat off my turkey. Writing those last words, my warped mind started to giggle. I actually de-boned my bird. Ha, ha. I can't stop. I must be getting tired. Or it's the red wine.
In seven more sleeps, my Queen comes home...
The dog is starting to get on my nerves. Second day in a row she leaves me a huge steaming present on the floor. That's it. She's sleeping in her kennel tonight. Not sure if she's punishing us for losing her mommy or if she's just stupid.
I decided to cook a turkey today. I didn't realize how easy it was. Not sure what all the fuss is about cooking a big bird. I feel so accomplished.
While the kids were at the mini-factory today, I went to the city and had two great meetings. In the second meeting, I was talking to a colleague about how much food we have in our house. I spent $40 on groceries last week to get some milk, bread and fruit. Besides that, the three of us have eaten well. Every day, I pull something out of the freezer. There's still enough in there for two more weeks. I started to clean out the pantry today only to realize that we have enough food there to last us at least three more weeks. Why do we have so much food? Plus I have a cooked turkey that I have to freeze now. There's no way we're eating that much turkey in a week.
Our son went to his first basketball practice tonight. He was really nervous. There's no basketball at his school so we had to drive 20 minutes to a strange school where he didn't know anyone. And everyone spoke English, which is his second language. I could tell he was nervous because he was quiet for the entire drive. Plus he went outside after supper to practice his dribbling and shooting. He was one of the youngest kids but he hustled the hardest on the floor. Proud papa I am.
He liked it so much, he wants to go back next week. Unfortunately, next week we have a scheduling conflict. His mom's coming home at the same time as practice. I asked him what he wanted to do. He suggested leaving his mom at the airport until after practice. Don't think that's gonna fly with our queen.
Coming home from basketball, the smell of Christmas overtook our noses as we entered the side door. Our daughter complained about having to brush her teeth with a mint toothpaste. She reminded me that I'm a bad father for not getting her favourite toothpaste for a second day in a row. I promised I wouldn't forget again. First thing tomorrow I have to go to the pharmacy or forever be cast as that father who wouldn't buy the right kind of toothpaste. I'll never live it down.
Once the kids went to bed, I pulled the meat off my turkey. Writing those last words, my warped mind started to giggle. I actually de-boned my bird. Ha, ha. I can't stop. I must be getting tired. Or it's the red wine.
In seven more sleeps, my Queen comes home...
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 8
Monday is over. One more Monday and the Queen will be home. Kids went back to the education factory today, which gave me a huge break.
With the Queen of the house gone, my daughter has stepped up to be the new Queen. Only her role is significantly reduced to that of Drama. I've learned to ignore her. It's either that or start a fight. And I can't afford that emotional capital.
Today, when the monster came home from the factory, my daughter insisted on two things: first she wasn't going to do her homework and secondly, she was going to help her brother with his homework. There was no discussion. Every time I tried to change the conversation, she called me out. "Why won't you answer my question. You always say that when you ask a question, I need to answer it. Doesn't the same thing apply to you?" She doesn't understand that her brother has dyslexia and he needs special help with his reading. I didn't want to say anything in front of her brother, so I kept quiet.
With all the non answers, she got mad. And the Academy Award goes to Ms. Nicholson for Best Actress in a dramatic role. Although my nature is to not let her get away with her attitude, I'm a bit afraid of where this could go. Plus I'm super focused on getting supper ready, homework and doing dishes before my 6 pm conference call.
With supper in the over, I pass by the little girl to go to the bathroom. As I cross her path, I fully expect a sigh or a some smart, hurtful remark that could push me over the patience fence. Instead, I hear a faint, "I'm sorry daddy". Although low in voice, it spun me around like a record player. A female in my house was apologizing to me. This is a first. At first I didn't know what to say. Then before I could think about it, the words "Thank you" came out of my mouth. After a big hug, our relationship was back on the rails.
Whew! Another fight averted. Note to self, next time she pulls her shit, don't engage. Walk away and let her cool down. She has the ability to apologize. That's a huge skill.
The rest of the night went well. Kids went to bed again at a good time.
With the Queen of the house gone, my daughter has stepped up to be the new Queen. Only her role is significantly reduced to that of Drama. I've learned to ignore her. It's either that or start a fight. And I can't afford that emotional capital.
Today, when the monster came home from the factory, my daughter insisted on two things: first she wasn't going to do her homework and secondly, she was going to help her brother with his homework. There was no discussion. Every time I tried to change the conversation, she called me out. "Why won't you answer my question. You always say that when you ask a question, I need to answer it. Doesn't the same thing apply to you?" She doesn't understand that her brother has dyslexia and he needs special help with his reading. I didn't want to say anything in front of her brother, so I kept quiet.
With all the non answers, she got mad. And the Academy Award goes to Ms. Nicholson for Best Actress in a dramatic role. Although my nature is to not let her get away with her attitude, I'm a bit afraid of where this could go. Plus I'm super focused on getting supper ready, homework and doing dishes before my 6 pm conference call.
With supper in the over, I pass by the little girl to go to the bathroom. As I cross her path, I fully expect a sigh or a some smart, hurtful remark that could push me over the patience fence. Instead, I hear a faint, "I'm sorry daddy". Although low in voice, it spun me around like a record player. A female in my house was apologizing to me. This is a first. At first I didn't know what to say. Then before I could think about it, the words "Thank you" came out of my mouth. After a big hug, our relationship was back on the rails.
Whew! Another fight averted. Note to self, next time she pulls her shit, don't engage. Walk away and let her cool down. She has the ability to apologize. That's a huge skill.
The rest of the night went well. Kids went to bed again at a good time.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 7
Day 7 of my life of a single parent has been a breeze just like the previous six. Besides journaling each day, I've stopped counting the days until my queen arrives. Not sure if she's ever going to arrive. Besides one vague email, we haven't heard from her. Both her parents and mine are starting to ask questions that I can't answer. All I now is that she's in a jungle somewhere in South America. Wifi and cell coverage are probably non-existent. Indoor plumbing is a still a new idea in some parts of the world, so I'm sure mobile phones and internet connections are still 50 years away.
Today being Sunday, I am a bit worried that cabin fever may set in. I offered to go for a drive. They declined. I asked them to go outside. They refused. I gave up and let them watch their movies on Netflix. Good ole TV never lets me down as the babysitter. No fighting, quarreling or bickering. And daddy gets to do some of his own work.
At 3:30, my world broke apart. The boy goes skating every Sunday at 4 pm. Getting him ready is easy because he wants to go. It's the other monster that tore apart the illusion of my world. She didn't want to go. She doesn't want to get dressed. She has decided that she's now hungry.
"When is mom coming home?"
"In another week."
"I'm hungry."
"I understand but when I asked you at lunchtime, you told me you weren't hungry."
"Well that was 3 hours ago and I'm hungry now, why don't you want to feed me? I'm starving here and you want me to die or something."
"How about a sandwich to carry you over to supper?"
"When is mom coming home? I miss her and I want mom to make me a sandwich. You just want to starve me out. If she doesn't come home soon, I might be dead from starvation".
"Ok, let's say I make you a sandwich."
"Alllllriiiiight. I want an egg sandwich."
"We don't have enough time for an egg sandwich. How about tuna?"
"I'm gonna be so skinny when mom comes home. What are we going to do with my clothes? None of them are going to fit with all this starvation."
"Tuna it is, get your boots on."
"Aaaaggghhh, I can't win with you. You always have to win. I don't want to go to the rink to watch my brother skate."
"Too bad, you knew all day we were going to do this. Can you please just cooperate for the rest of the day? I know you miss your mom. I do too. But all we got right now is each other. Let's work together to make it as good as possible."
"Ok"
Luckily for her, when we got to the rink, skating had been cancelled. Getting home earlier allowed me the time I needed to keep my little girl from starving.
The rest of the night went well. I was playing video games with the boy, when we heard the girl scream out "Mommy's trying to call us". We both traded our controllers for the iPad. It's one thing to hear a voice. It's quite different to see a face. We missed her call, but we quickly redialed her Skype address. And there she was. She's alive. The video was crappy but the kids got to see their mom for about 15 minutes. Both kids were trying to dominate the screen. They got so close, Momma Hen could see up the kids nostrils. She confirmed that technology is hard to come by. She'd try to communicate again but told us not to worry.
The quick conversation with their mother put the kids in excellent spirits. They went to bed without any commotion. Despite a mid night nightmare, which put one of the kids in my lonely bed, the night was uneventful.
Thank god for education factories. Tomorrow, my little workers are back at the shop working away while I get back to my routine.
The quick conversation with their mother put the kids in excellent spirits. They went to bed without any commotion. Despite a mid night nightmare, which put one of the kids in my lonely bed, the night was uneventful.
Thank god for education factories. Tomorrow, my little workers are back at the shop working away while I get back to my routine.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 6
It's Saturday. Most people love the weekend. For me, I am afraid. It's the first day since my wife's absence that I have nothing planned to keep the kids occupied all day.
I woke up this morning to find out the dog has messed in the house, twice. I think she misses my wife the most. When my mom came over on Thursday, the dog jumped on my mom's lap and wouldn't leave her alone. She acted a lot like she does with my wife. Maybe it has something to do with estrogen or some female attraction. Since Aline left, the dog has slept every night with our daughter. That's a new habit.
Once the dog's messes are cleaned up. I start my day with the other cleaning. Bathrooms and floors have to be cleaned. It's a Saturday morning ritual. So I get to it. Our daughter asks me to go to a friend's house. Mother Hen has never let her go to this friend's house. I'm not sure if there is a good reason or not. At first, I dismiss the demand and keep my head down as I scrub the toilets.
She persists. I start a gauntlet of demands. Everything I ask of her is done with a smile. I could ask her to kiss her brother right now and I'm sure she'd do it if it meant that she could go to her friends. Since she's so behaved, I call her friend's mother to confirm that its ok. Thank god for icloud! My wife's contacts are all shared through the cloud. I make the decision that it can't be so bad. I let her go for 4 hours between lunch and supper.
With the girl gone for the afternoon, I have to entertain the boy. No real problems all afternoon except the sense of inequality that he's not going to a friend's house. The feeling flies over like a single rain cloud on a summer day.
At 5 pm, I pick up our daughter. She's happy. Her friend is happy. The boy is ok. The dog is happy to be going for a drive. When we get home, supper is ready to be pulled out of the oven. It's a big hit. The kids compliment me by eating every last bite.
Another night without "idontlikes". I'm impressed more and more every day. I wonder what I do differently than my wife.
The day ended with me and the boy cheering on our beloved Montreal Canadiens against the hated Maple Leafs, while the girl watched a movie in the other room.
Easy peezy so far. I miss my wife, but this has been a hell of a lot easier than I expected.
Trading my fake job for my real job: Day 5
Our boy plugged our toilet. I've never seen a toilet this jammed. One time a lady dropped her cell phone in our restaurant toilet when she flushed and it wasn't as plugged as this one. I considered taking it off the flange to see what's holding the water from draining. I'm betting there's a whole roll of toilet paper in there.
Despite the plugged shitter, the kids found their toys right away. They were dancing as they came down the stairs to greet their new found momentary hero.
Everything went well again. They haven't been late to school once this week. It has to be a new record. I'm really thinking they're scared of me.
When they got home from the education factory, I had a couple of errands to run. They didn't get a chance to play with their new toys but they didn't fight about taking a trip to the bank. A friend came to visit after supper and they quietly went about their business. No fighting, no interruptions, no whining. Even at bedtime, they went happily along with my requests.
No real news today. Our queen hasn't checked in yet. I'm getting worried. She hasn't been away from the kids for more than 1 day in her life.
Dishes are done every day. House is reasonably clean. Tomorrow is my weekly bathroom and floor detail, so that should be fun.
I haven't missed a day of exercise yet. The kids have given me slack. Even when they don't like supper, they eat it anyways without much flare. I have to admit, I'm impressed that they've taken it this easy on me so far.
There's still 10 days to go, so I'm not going to get too excited yet.
Despite the plugged shitter, the kids found their toys right away. They were dancing as they came down the stairs to greet their new found momentary hero.
Everything went well again. They haven't been late to school once this week. It has to be a new record. I'm really thinking they're scared of me.
When they got home from the education factory, I had a couple of errands to run. They didn't get a chance to play with their new toys but they didn't fight about taking a trip to the bank. A friend came to visit after supper and they quietly went about their business. No fighting, no interruptions, no whining. Even at bedtime, they went happily along with my requests.
No real news today. Our queen hasn't checked in yet. I'm getting worried. She hasn't been away from the kids for more than 1 day in her life.
Dishes are done every day. House is reasonably clean. Tomorrow is my weekly bathroom and floor detail, so that should be fun.
I haven't missed a day of exercise yet. The kids have given me slack. Even when they don't like supper, they eat it anyways without much flare. I have to admit, I'm impressed that they've taken it this easy on me so far.
There's still 10 days to go, so I'm not going to get too excited yet.
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