How were we going to pay for international adoption if I didn't have a job? We now weren't making enough money to pay for our current bills. Forget about bringing a new baby into the house...
We questioned everything again. Why is this happening?
There was an added problem. I wanted to buy a Cora's franchise. I was done with the corporate dog eat dog world. I wanted to work for myself and I didn't want to look for another salaried position.
I accepted a line cook position at an existing Cora's to make sure this was the right move. For $9.00/hour, I slugged away cooking breakfasts, pumping out bacon and eggs. Not working for money, I was now working for purpose. There was no way these wages could pay for the additional costs of a baby in a few months.
Then we got a call from American Adoptions. We were matched with a baby. The newborn pictures were awesome. We were so excited. With the match, we were given a bunch of medical information about the birth and the birth mother's health condition. After two hard days of discussions, we declined the match. Everything we had ever wanted was in our grasp, and we turned it down. We questioned why we would stop a baby from coming into our home. Were we not ready? Was the financial constraints too dangerous? The simple answer was no. There were complications with the birth and there were concerns the baby suffered brain damage. It was a responsibility we weren't comfortable accepting.
We had made it clear in our application that this type of match was not acceptable, so we made sure our adoption agency didn't try to sway from our requests in the future. It really hurt us to decline this baby.
We didn't hear much from our adoption agency for the next two months. We were worried we had offended them and they weren't marketing our profile. We mustered up the courage to call them to find out if everything was ok. They reassured us that everything was fine. They had trouble finding a match.
Imagine our insecurities. God doesn't allow us to make a child, so we'll adopt. Now others don't want to give us a child. What is wrong with us? Are we bad people who are destined to live childless forever?
Then on June 23, the phone rang. It rang as it always had before. It was our adoption agency. We were matched with a little girl in Chattanooga, Tennessee. The baby was born the day before. They wanted to know when we could be there to pick her up.
We could pick her up at the hospital or we could pick her up in an orphanage. It was our choice. We had to act fast because the hospital will only keep her for three days. One day had already passed.
The next call was to my wife. She was at work. As I recall this story, tears come to my eyes. I had the pleasure of telling her that her dream had just come true. We couldn't allow ourselves to get too excited. We already had a false match. This one felt different.
We had two days to get to a strange city. We planned on flying on the 6am flight on the 25th. This meant we had 24 hours to get everything ready. We had to talk to the birth mother. We had to secure financing for the adoption. We had to review medical papers about the condition of health of the baby and the birth mother. We had to reserve a hotel, a car, a flight itinerary. Then there were the legal documents we needed notarized before leaving. If that wasn't enough, Aline had to inform her boss that she was going on parental leave starting immediately.
On the 24th, our adoption agency told us they had made as good of a match as possible but there was always a potential the birth mother would change her mind. We would have to go to Tennessee, discharge the baby from the hospital. We would be her guardians until we could get in front of a judge three days later. At which time, both the birth mother and we would have to agree to legal guardianship.
It was a risk we were willing to take. Worst case scenario we would come home $6000 poorer. I was less concerned about the money. It was the emotional consequences that scared the shit out of me.
Having everything as best prepared as possible, we flew out of Moncton on June 25, connecting a flight in Toronto bound for Atlanta. From which we would rent a car and drive three hours to Chattanooga.
To be continued...
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