Monday, March 10, 2014

Power of Now

I wake up some days thinking that I’m a failure. I ask myself “What do I really know”? I’ve had success in business. I have a wonderful family who loves me. I have a good support network and I am in reasonable health. Yet I feel like I’m not where I’m supposed to be.
I am where I am because I am.  There is no such thing as “supposed to be” is something I heard once. The presence of being in the now is much more important than yesterday and tomorrow. 
Living in the now is tough. It’s appreciating all of the little things. It’s enjoying life as it happens. It’s being happy.

I know someone who recently survived a scare with cancer. The person he is today is much different than the person I knew 2 years ago. Putting things in perspective, he got a new chance on life. And he sees life's minutia very different than I. In his Facebook posts, I see a more positive, energetic ray of light. I am so happy for him.


In grieving a co-worker's death 12 years ago, I vowed that I would not take life for granted. Yet I did just that as death's feeling slipped away from my perception. What if today was the last day of my life? What would I do differently? I've got to make an impact with every moment I have left. I can feel it slipping away from me.


That's a heavy dose of mortality! 


Eckhart Tolle’s book “Power of Now” is a book that I’m going to read again. The last time I read it, I put some of his thoughts into action. One afternoon I put all of my worries away. I remember feeding the ducks.  Watching them interact with each other and with my children was magnetic. It's such a vivid moment in time because I was totally present with my kids. The kids were happy. The phone was at home. Life was perfect. Then it kicked back in. Dreams, goals, to-do lists, stresses, email, phone calls, TV…
Living for today is the most important thing any of us can do. I really need to read that book again. I’ve lost my way with so much focus on goals and to-do lists. My kids are getting older. Soon enough I’m gonna wish I could return to the past to enjoy them. I got them right now. It's easy to say but it's f'ing hard.

Life passes us by as we think about we need to do tomorrow and what we already did yesterday. If I was to be graded on life, I would give myself a C. Barely passing by, doing the necessary, but not excelling. 


I got a lot to learn...




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